


Sum of Our Parts

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Omega Tony, Steve/Howard doesn't appear until later chapters, Tags May Change, Tony has unbelievably good luck, Tropes, but it will play a large enough role to warrant the tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 97,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6690916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the plague wiped out a good portion of the population some hundred and fifty or so years ago people came to the completely absurd conclusion that the reason omegas didn’t drop like flies was because they must be gods in human form.</p><p>It wasn't like Tony wasn't special, he was genuinely way better with tech than any other person he knew but that didn’t make him divine. Shit, if being divine meant he could do whatever he wanted he’d take it but no; instead people use that as an excuse to hold him back.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="http://8tracks.com/wintyr/the-sum-of-our-parts">Playlist</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anywhere Else But Here

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so I know nothing about plagues my friends, I did minimal research to make sure it wasn't WILDLY inaccurate, but come on y'all. I'm a humanities major, be gentle. I mean if you're all willing to accept that a/b/o dynamics exist I think we can overlook some inaccuracies about plagues. This is sort of post-apocalyptic but not quite, society has bounced back at least in some places. I also left a 150(ish) year gap so that a cultural overhaul would have realistically taken place.
> 
> Also in this universe Steve is going to be significantly older than Bucky (as per comic canon), mostly because I may test out Howard/ Steve later on in this fic for funsies.

Freedom, for Tony, is looking a lot like death and not because he had any strong desire to off himself. The opposite was true, actually, but for the first time in his life he wasn’t restrained by bullshit social convention and he was _flying_. Literally. He was flying through the air, no strings attached, arms spread wide, wind flowing through his hair, the whole bit. Steve was probably going to kill him for this, assuming he didn’t end up becoming a pancake on the ground because this was so _not_ what Steve had wanted him to do. Steve had barked out some order about staying where he was but sorry, Cap, no can do. When the building is about to fall on your head you get the hell out though Tony had to admit taking the fastest route out, a window, probably wasn’t the brightest idea he’s ever had.

But hey, he’s an omega, they’re supposed to be lucky and if he was truly honest with himself all the shit he’s pulled over the last few months has proved that true, at least for him. Not that anyone else knew that minus a couple select people who knew better than to say something. No one knew who he _was_ though, that he was the great Howard Stark’s kid, that technically he was royalty and hopefully they would never find out. He had better things to do than fend off people trying to serve him or some shit, he was done with that. Technically he couldn’t take care of himself very well, but he knew enough that he didn’t need any help, thanks.

Steve is yelling at him via ear piece but he’s laughing, savouring the feeling of the wind on his scalp. Rhodey’s calling him a crazy bastard and Clint is yelling too but he ignores them because he’s about to die and he’s going to damn well enjoy his last moments before he ends up pavement paint.

_Six months ago_

Tony wanted nothing to do with this stupid omega ball, mostly because he had about zero inclination to get married and reproduce. Before these things used to be a place to basically trade omegas like cattle but those days have long come and passed. The notion that one could trade off omegas like cattle was actually considered blasphemous now, and the reason for the plague and subsequent population drop. No one knows what caused it; just that the only group that didn’t suffer a devastating drop in numbers was omegas.

Tony had a plenty of reasons for that too, like being less of the population, being physiological built to withstand the bacteria that caused the plague, there was more but no one listened. After the plague wiped out a good portion of the population some hundred and fifty or so years ago people came to the completely absurd conclusion that the reason omegas didn’t drop like flies was because they must be gods in human form.

He was sure that the omegas that were treated like shit prior to the plague enjoyed that but he didn’t. It was tedious, it got in his way, and people were always fucking tripping over themselves to help him instead of letting him do stuff by himself.

Of course that was where Problem Number Two came in. People didn’t just assume that omegas were gods because they didn’t die off like everyone else, they noticed something else too. Apparently omegas weren’t just plague resistant, oh no, they all had some God-given gift too. Yes, it seemed that most omegas he met were good at math, or science, or art, or poetry, or some other thing but everyone had something they were good at. Didn’t make them gods.

In his case he was a masterful engineer, way ahead of anyone else in the field, his father included and Howard was considered the best before he came along. People used to try and keep him from tinkering, after all a science lab was a dangerous place for someone that was considered a god in human flesh. When he did finally manage to break in and stay in someone found him hours later, circuit board built and they all had fucking _kittens_.

It was almost funny, watching the entire mansion of people freak out because they thought they kept a god from their divine right or something. If that didn't lead to people using that as proof that he was _obviously_ a god he would have taken a lot more joy in that. Sadly people were idiots though so no can do and that was used as yet another thing that proved he was special.

And he was, special that is, and he was genuinely way better with tech than any other person he knew but that didn’t make him _divine_. Shit, if being divine meant he could do whatever he wanted he’d take it but no; instead people use that as an excuse to hold him back. Can’t stay out too late Tony, not everyone is happy that you’ve been granted divine status. Don’t stay in the lab too long Tony, it wouldn’t do for you to be too tired to act as our god. Make sure you stand there for like two fucking hours while we worship you, who cares that you hate standing still all that matters is our feelings, don’t ever forget that.

He’s asked around, he knew quite a bit of other omegas, and not many seemed to agree with him. They all seemed to believe that shit about them being gods or whatever and honestly he just couldn’t see it. Jane Foster, thus far, is the only one who has ever agreed with him but she was crazy good at science. Her field of expertise was astrophysics, and she’s made some amazing discoveries, but she was good at other areas of science too. Her findings pretty much matched exactly what he said but she didn’t say something for fear omegas would face the same prosecution they used to in the past.

She didn’t much care for the idea of being burned at the stake and alright, he got that, but being a god was surprisingly limited. She had agreed, she despised the rules that surrounded her existence but she didn’t know how to even bother to go about deconstructing the current ideals.

Jane was here at this stupid omega ball somewhere, probably with Darcy, her partner and he longed to have a conversation with her. Darcy was great too, a lovely beta who tazed someone that attacked Jane one time, and the two hit it off. Being in a same-sex pairing was pretty odd but no one would dare say anything to Jane about it to her face but there were whispers of selfishness behind her back. Whispers because as gods they owed the population currency and that currency was children. The plague was still around, far less so than it was since it initially struck, but it still killed a lot of people and omegas were the most fertile and the least affected by the plague.

Tony didn’t want kids though, never had, honestly he couldn’t even see the appeal in kids. They were gross and had no fucking clue what personal space was, who wanted that? The worst part about kids, in his opinion, was that they didn’t even _know_ they were annoying, they just wanted attention and he couldn’t fault them for that. When the attention wasn’t directly related to his supposedly being a god he liked attention too.

The attention he was currently getting though, being eyed up by all the alphas and omegas around him alike, left him feeling like he would rather crawl under a rock. He didn’t like being looked at like he was a _thing_ , it was disturbing. He wished Pepper was around somewhere but she was a servant, she wouldn’t be at something as extravagant as this. She was the only one who ever saw him for him and for that he respected her far more than anyone else he talked to on a regular basis. People, of course, read that all wrong and thought he liked her so much because obviously gods would take an interest in the less fortunate, which he always has. Probably because they treated him better than anyone else even if they did buy into that god crap. But they _talked_ to him, told him their life stories, listened to his, and that was far more than he’s ever gotten from the mansion’s staff minus Jarvis and Anna before they died. They all tried to keep him under as much control as possible, ironic considering he was supposedly a god.

Howard was the worst for it. For the first half of Tony’s life he didn’t exist and for the second half he might as well have not existed for how little Howard actually saw of him. The second he presented as an omega suddenly Howard was there _all the fucking time_ , dictating this, demanding that, bragging about Tony like he actually knew anything about him. He half wished his mom was still alive but she died when he was ten in a nasty car accident. He had presented shortly after and since then it was him, Howard, and Howard’s massive ego. His wife had died, he said, and then he was sent a god for a son. He was _blessed_.

No, if he was supposed to be a god he was always a god, not only after he presented. But no one liked to talk about life before presentation. Betas had it the best and the worst because they didn’t actually change at all, but they were also most likely to contract some form of the plague and die. Alphas were somewhat resilient to the plague once contracted but there was still a high death rate. Omegas rarely caught the plague but that was because there weren’t many places they could contract it, they were kept from doing literally fucking everything. When they did, on the off chance, contract the plague they rarely died from it and the cause of that was easy; heats.

The bacteria that caused the plague didn’t do well in a warmer environment, which was why most of the richer population lived in more tropical areas, but omega bodies didn’t lend themselves nicely to a baceria that didn’t do well in hot environments. This was the most compelling reasoning Tony had gathered for why omegas weren’t gods. It wasn’t divine that their bodies _happened_ to be a hostile environment for the bacteria, plus being the smallest portion of the population, and talents aside a biological advantage did not make omegas gods. But people made the assumption that omegas were always gods, and when they fell out of favour and into a deep oppression the world was punished. Heats, supposedly, were a privilege omegas had been granted for suffering so much in the past.

Not that he wanted a heat; they were more annoying than everyone trying to control his life. He spent a week all hot and sticky while Pepper tried to herd him out of the lab and back into bed. But he got so _bored_ in bed with nothing to do, at least the lab was cool and there was always some project of his that needed tweaking or inventing. Pep was patient though and she always did manage to coax him back into bed with minimal difficulties. She knew how to bribe him and he _loved_ scotch so she’d bribe him with some of that. He wasn’t supposed to drink and that made the drink even more appealing to him.

If he wasn’t currently surrounded by people with all eyes on him he’d probably try and swallow his sorrows but sadly people were looking and he wasn’t likely to get away with it. He wondered if he could claim divine right or something so people could let him get wasted in peace. Instead he dodges a few suitors and, mercifully, finds Jane with Darcy. One of many reasons he loved Darcy was because she gave absolutely no fucks. She was currently wearing a pair of jeans, an old t-shirt, and a beanie, “looking good, Darcy,” he says and he means it. The poor thing wore a gorgeous red dress to one of these things once and she had looked great, but so damn uncomfortable. Tony didn’t fault her for opting out of the formal wear in favor of jeans.

She grins, “thanks. I’d say you look good but honestly you look like literally every other guy in the room so you look boring,” she says. Reason two for liking Darcy; she didn’t fuck around, even when talking to someone who is considered to be a god.

“Right? Why can’t I wear a pretty dress like Jane, you also look great by the way,” he says. If he could pull off a dress he’d probably try it but sadly he did not have the right frame.

“Thank you,” Jane says appreciatively. She probably would have said more but Darcy gets a bright idea she feels the need to share with everyone.

“You should totally just marry us, then you can escape this hell and people will stop complaining about Jane and I being childless lesbians,” Darcy says enthusiastically.

Jane looks pained, “please don’t,” she says and Tony laughs.

“No worries, Jane, I have no interest in you or Darcy, thanks for your contribution though,” he says to Darcy.

“Aww, I wanted to be a poly conglomerate,” she says sadly, “and no more ‘they can’t have children!!!!!!’ complains. Like they do know that there are other methods of having kids right,” she says, squinting at the crowd behind Tony.

“No,” Jane says, “I am dedicated to my science, I do not want children.”

“Okay but what about a dog, can we have a dog? If you’re against dogs I might have to leave you,” she says and Tony gladly settles in to watch the two bicker back and forth. It was comforting and it got him the hell away from Justin Hammer, his asshat father’s first pick. Which, fuck no, he had standards, thanks. The fact that Tony had lost the guy two seconds into a conversation about engineering, Hammer’s supposed specialty, proved that a life with him would be boring. Also, no kids, but the political and financial ties made the risk worth the trouble and he was sure the general population of the city would think so too. If they wouldn’t agree Howard wouldn’t have bothered pushing so hard and as much as Tony loathed admitting it Hammer did come with some impressive benefits.

Nothing good enough for Tony to give up his whole life to be Hammer’s lap dog but Howard could dream. He was well aware of his options, how each one would be viewed by the public, how each one would be viewed by politicians, Howard. None of them were even remotely desirable. Pepper liked to joke that he didn’t have an interest in any of his current suitors because he was an adrenaline junkie at heart and none of his potential matches were a risk. She wasn’t wrong, but Hammer was risky enough considering the lack of biological children that would come out of the pairing and he wasn’t the only one with risky downsides.

Sif was also an omega, and a talented tactician, but she was from a less than desirable area. Skye was a crazy talented computer genius and a generally all around enjoyable person, but unfortunately her family was straight up nuts and they had killed half the population of the city she was from. They were both dead now but still, it didn’t exactly look good on the public record. May… well May has already been married, she was infertile, and she was career oriented but she _was_ from a rich area. She knew how to play the game though, even if she didn’t currently have her God-like currency so at least a marriage to her would be bearable.

In short Justin Hammer was the best option despite the biological mismatch for children. He was rich, his family was highly invested in politics, and he was supposedly a genius. Tony had yet to find any evidence of that last bit but whatever. Aside from the inability to produce children, which could be changed with a surrogate, the only downside to Hammer was that Tony would rather drink bleach than spend any time with him at all.

Jane makes a pained noise and Darcy sighs, “you sure you don’t him to just marry us or something? I mean poly relationships _are_ becoming more popular with same-sex parings and all that and seriously Jane, we can’t leave him with _Hammer_ ,” Darcy says. Jane’s eyes were currently tracking Hammer as he crossed the room, proving that speaking of the devil really did make him appear. Tony was sure Hammer thought he had something valid to say but Tony was one hundred percent sure that he did not.

“Quick, make an excuse for me to flee. You know what, fuck it, I’m just going to go, tell people I have like… diarrhea of fleas or something,” he says, waving his hands around before locating the nearest exit and working towards it.

Hammer must reach Jane and Darcy by the time Tony starts moving because the last thing he hears as he leaves the room is Darcy shout, “he has fleas!” Of course she’d think that was funny enough to repeat instead of coming up with a good excuse for him to leave, the asshole. He makes his way back to his room taking the longest most convoluted route he could just to avoid being discovered and brought back to his own personal prison in the form of a party. He was certain that tomorrow he’d hear plenty about how selfish he was, that he didn’t know a good thing when he saw it, but no one would dare say anything like that to his face for fear of retribution. In their defence they were right, he _was_ selfish, he just didn’t see the problem with categorizing himself over everyone else.

He understood that people just wanted to be safe, that they thought he could provide safety, but he had no clue how he was supposed to do that. They’ve made cures for the plague but the bacteria kept evolving. Then they’d made cures for _that_ strain of the bacteria that caused the plague and ended up with a third completely different variation of the damn plague.

The best that came out of it was mass immunity in the cities via a very long list of vaccinations that protected against the more aggressive strains of the bacteria. People still caught the lesser forms of the plague, but there weren’t huge death rates anymore and that seemed to calm people down. What he was supposed to do beyond that he had no clue, hell, _he_ hadn’t been the one to do that either. It had been Howard’s father and Howard that figured that out but he somehow end up with the credit.

It’s Pepper that finds him first, holed up in the back of the lab working on a project that he hadn’t told anyone about, Pepper included. “Tony you can’t just run away from your responsibilities,” she says, cutting straight to the point in a way that Pepper had perfected. He appreciated the blunt honestly, it was refreshing.

“I just did and I’d say I’ve been successful,” he says, grinning.

Pepper rolls her eyes and sits down across from him, “I know you hate this but _why_? Do you not understand that you’re in the best position there is?” she asks, frowning at him like she was trying and failing to understand.

“Maybe I am, but it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like I’m trapped in a cage of other people’s expectations, like I have no freedom to do anything but what people want me to. I just… everyone expects me to be something I’m not and I don’t understand how I’m supposed to live up to the expectations that people put on me when I don’t even hold the same belief system,” he says. He didn’t know how to word it; just that every time he thought of living out his White Picket Fence Dream everything about it was all wrong. “I know I’m meant for something Pepper, but whatever that is isn’t here, not right now at least,” he says.

She nods and picks herself up, “I know,” she says quietly, “but be careful, please.” She leaves after that and Tony is left with the feeling that she knows, except she couldn’t possibly know so he ignores his gut and continues working on his project.

*

If Tony had to deal with these people for one more minute he was going to scream. He _loathed_ what passed for church, mostly because he was the thing being worshipped and that meant people invading his space, shoving children at him, asking him for advice on things he couldn’t possibly have good advice for. The hell if he knew what to do with a failing marriage, he wasn’t married; he’d never even been in a relationship unless his dependence on Pepper counted and he didn’t think it did. That didn’t stop people from pestering about their mostly petty problems that they certainly didn’t need a _god_ to solve.

He would greatly appreciate if they went back to the prayer system, then he wouldn’t ever have to deal with what Snot Nosed Johnny was doing this week. Not all the problems were petty things he couldn’t possibly solve, but the sheer amount of people accosting him to receive help was fucking exhausting.

“Are you alright?” Howard asks in a tender tone. As if he gave a damn about anything related to the son he hadn’t realized existed until presentation, he only cared about himself.

He’d like to say no, that he was bored out of his tree, he was tired from being in the lab all night, he was tired of people vying for the spot closest to him, and if he was asked for advice on one more thing he’d scream. But he couldn’t say any of that because god forbid he fail to live up to his godly expectations, “I’m fine, just tired,” he mumbles because it was at least true.

Howard nods, “you were in the lab all night again, I take it?” he asks.

“I was almost done, I figured I might as well get the rest done before going to bed but there were a few complications,” he says. Of course there was but he had continued working because he couldn’t stand the thought of being here any longer than he had to, not any more.

“You know you aren’t supposed to stay up all night, especially when church is in the morning,” Howard chides lightly.

“Yeah well it was almost done, there was no sense in leaving it,” he snaps and Howard flinches. “Sorry, I’m just exhausted,” he says and he flees the scene before he had to deal with more bullshit.

He probably would have outright left the damn building if it wasn’t for the kid. He wasn’t sure what drew him to the kid and he doesn’t question it either, “hey,” he says, kneeling to get on the kid’s level. “You don’t look like you’re feeling very well,” he says, looking over the kid’s pale sweat covered skin.

The kid must be shy because he doesn’t say anything, “he hasn’t been feeling well for the last couple days,” the kid’s dad supplies.

Tony nods, “let me guess, you’re cold even though you’re running a fever, you have muscle tremors, you’re really tired, headache, maybe a rash somewhere?” he asks. The kid must be impressed with Tony’s ability to list his symptoms because he nods, wide eyed.

“Yeah, pretty sure your kid has some strain of the plague. I highly advise a hospital trip,” he says, doing his best to keep his irritation out of his voice and failing. No one notices though, instead the father looks frightened and everyone in the near vicinity who heard the word ‘plague’ flinches back like they were- well, they actually were trying to avoid the plague this time. He goes to straighten up as the whispers spread fast only to find himself yanked back. “Excuse you,” he says, letting out an indignant squawk and flailing a bit to free himself, “I can walk by myself thank you very much.”

He knew the drill by now, the place was under quarantine until everyone was cleared of plague symptoms and lucky him he got to go first being a god and all. The process was slow and tedious and required processing one person at a time and then hosing them down to prevent the spread of any lingering bacteria. As the least likely to catch the damn plague he should have been processed _last_ but that wasn’t how things were designed.

As predicted he was cleared of all symptoms quickly before being shuffled off to get showered and released. By the time he was freed he was wet, annoyed, and he wanted to go back to bed but if one person managed to contract some form of the plague someone else probably had too and it would do well to know how many people were sick. Howard, surprisingly, was among the last to be released and he frowns when he sees Tony standing there watching with the rest of the crowd. If the whispers going around were any indication people appreciated that he cared, it was further proof that he was _obviously_ a god. If he had half the mind to he’d point out that they were all still here too, worried about the people still inside the church, they couldn’t all be divine.

“What are you still doing here? I thought you were tired,” Howard says, lifting his hand to touch him but Tony steps away and Howard’s hand falls, abandoning the gesture.

“I am, but I want to know what’s going on,” he says, thankfully sans attitude. Even if he disliked Howard he was at least not trying to be a total ass at the moment so Tony figured he should keep his irritation to himself. He can hear the approving murmurs behind him and he resists the urge to roll his eyes because they were all doing the _same thing_ so why was he the only one getting credit for it? Howard looks like he’s about to argue and Tony shakes his head, “I’m not going anywhere,” he warns. He wanted to know what was happening and he’d damn well find out.

*

It was a terrible time for this but he just wasn’t _happy_ , something was missing and clearly being here was not helping him very much. He didn’t know what he was looking for, if he was looking for anything even, just that he had to go and _do_ something besides sitting stagnant and sheltered in a mansion. “Tony,” Pepper says and he turns to face her. She’s holding a bag, which is odd, but the fact that she looks like she’s been crying is far odder. “I always knew you were going to leave, I just didn’t know when,” she says.

“What?” he asks dumbly. If anyone were to figure out that he had planned on making a break for it it’d be Pepper but nothing to his knowledge would have given her any indication that he was planning on leaving _now_.

“I’m not stupid Tony, I’ve been working with you for years, I know your patterns better than you do and you’ve never been happy. You were never meant to be in the cage you think these people have put you and it was only a matter of time before you chose to leave. If that’s what it takes for you to… I don’t know, figure things out then fine, leave, learn something, live a little. Just be careful,” she says, repeating yesterday’s words from the lab to him again.

“You’ve been crying,” he says, gesturing loosely to her face. Pepper makes a small hiccupping noise before pressing her hand to her mouth and shutting her eyes tightly for a moment before taking a deep breath to steady herself.

“I would have appreciated if you hadn’t drawn attention to that,” she says, “but yes, I have been crying. I’ll miss you Tony, and honestly you have no clue how to live, I fully expect news within the week that someone has found you dead in an ally,” she says and they both laugh though Pepper sounds more like she’s about to cry some more.

“I don’t think I’m _that_ insufficient,” Tony says in his own defense even though he knows that isn’t really true.

Pepper snorts, swiping a tear from under her eye, “what’s your city I.D number?” she asks.

Okay so in his defense he could just override the system, he didn’t even need that. “Uh… five…?” he says, squinting a little as he tried to recall the numbers.

“There’s a little bit more numbers than that, Tony, but if this is what you want I packed a bag and some instructions so you last two weeks instead of one,” she says, holding the bag she was carrying out.

He takes it gratefully because Pep no doubt thought of a bunch of different things he probably would not have. “Thanks,” he says, “but I kind of feel like a child who’s about to go to school for the first time but like, with more plague.” Pepper gives him a sharp look for that but he wasn’t overly worried, he’s already been vaccinated against the stronger strains of the plague and his body didn’t produce the kind of conditions the bacteria thrived on. Chances of contraction were low but chances of death were lower.

“ _Please_ be careful, Tony. I know you’ve always been the go big or go home type but do take care of yourself,” she says, looking worried.

“I’ll be alright, Pep, I always end up alright in the end,” he says quietly.

She snorts, “that’s because you live in a mansion with a bunch of servants making sure that you’re comfortable. You aren’t going to have any of that, Tony.”

“Good, I never wanted any of it to begin with,” he says. Pepper looks worried and he understands why, it wasn’t like he had an abundance of life skills, but he’s always been an exceptionally fast learner. He’d be fine.

Pepper was nice enough to help him sneak out, a process he had been dreading because people tended to notice him almost before he was in the same vicinity as them, but she used servants’ pathways to get him out. Smart, he hadn’t thought of that, which just made him more upset to be leaving Pepper behind. He hugs her for a long moment, clinging longer than strictly necessary because he was going to miss her more than anyone else. She manages to hold her tears in but she squeezes him back, telling him to find what he was looking for as he left with a final wave.

*

It turned out that Pepper’s initial assessment that he would last a week was off by  roughly seven days because Tony didn’t even last the damn night without running into trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

The last thing he remembered before being cracked over the head was walking through an ally and in hindsight he could see why that might have been a stupid idea. Unfortunately for his captors they didn’t anticipate that he was creative and stubborn, so he gets out of his cell quickly. It wasn’t as if he was completely unprepared for the situation, he had planned on running into problems though he hadn’t thought kidnapping would be one of them. He probably should have gotten his shit and left the damn room he was in but he figured fuck it, he was curious. Statistically speaking if his captors wanted him dead he would have been killed already and maybe if he was lucky he’d get a reason for his immediate kidnapping. Even if his captors weren’t willing to give up the information immediately he had methods of persuasion that would probably work.

It takes a while for someone to show up but it’s worth it to see the confusion on the guy’s face as he spots Tony perched on the edge of the table in the middle of the room, “hey,” Tony says, nodding towards the guy and grinning cockily. The redhead behind him looks some pissed about this development and he can’t really blame her. He _was_ previously being held in a cage in a dingy room, which, lame. “So I’m going to guess you tried unsuccessfully to kidnap me for a purpose, what was it?” he asks, swinging his feet in the air.

“How did you get out of there?” the redhead asks, nodding to the now-open jail cell looking door.

“I.D card. Gunna tell me what you were looking for or nah?” he asks. He had already taken his weapon, a repulsor glove disguised as a watch, into its glove form. It had been a real bitch to get the repulsor design to pull back and forth the way that he required it to but he had finally been able to get the design to deconstruct and reconstruct as needed with minimal issues. He might not be from the wrong side of the tracks but he wasn’t a total idiot either, he knew he’d need protection. The design he had made had been designed with the intention of looking innocuous enough that no one would pay much attention to it. The finished product looked like a watch with no face, which would basically render it useless and thus if a situation like the one that was currently happening happened no one would think anything of it. Boom, if it looks useless it must actually be useless. Idiots.

“I.D card? No I.D card would get you out of that,” the redhead says, nodding to the door. In her defense she assumed he had scanned the thing on the door to release himself and the door didn’t have a scanner. He had actually used the glove to cut a strip off of one of Howard’s stolen I.D cards to pick the lock but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Then you aren’t creative enough,” he says, “are you going to tell me _why_ I’ve been kidnapped?” he asks again.

The guy with the dark hair steps forward, not looking at all pleased with this situation. Tony holds his hand up, glove out, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he says.

Dark Hair rolls his eyes, “please, that are you going to do with-” he doesn’t complete his sentence because Tony flexes his fingers, releasing a pulse blast and the guy goes flying back into the wall he was standing in front of. Again he had designed for safety, he hadn’t wanted something that would take an abundance of strength to trigger though he hadn’t wanted something that would go off on a hair-trigger either. So he designed the glove, initially a gauntlet, to react to specific finger movements. It wouldn’t take a lot of strength or effort to trigger the mechanisms but the movement was specific enough that the repulsor wouldn’t just go off whenever. He also hadn’t wanted something lethal, his preferred method was escape not murder, so the repulsor was mostly harmless unless it was set off at a point-blank range.

Unfortunately for him that relied on his ability to react at least somewhat fast and the redhead was far faster than he was. He didn’t much expect to be slammed into the table he was on with a small but powerful hand to his neck but he expected the smell of an omega in heat wafting off of her less. He sniffs again because he couldn’t _possibly_ be right about that and the look on his face must show something because the redhead pauses.

Tony might be slow but he wasn’t an idiot, he shoves the glove into her face and at this close of a range she wouldn’t have a head left if he flexed his fingers and she knew it. “Do you mind?” he croaks out, gesturing loosely to his throat with the hand that didn’t currently have a weapon attached to it. He had a glove for that hand too but he didn’t bother to extend that one. They were well made; it wasn’t likely that he’d need more than one.

She lets up ever so slightly, examining him like he was a bug under a microscope, “how?” they both ask in sync.

“How _what_?” they ask, still in sync. Neither of them says anything for a moment so Tony decides he’ll go first.

“I’m not a moron,” he says, “I know what an omega in heat smells like,” Because he _is_ an omega but he leaves that out, “I’ve got no idea why you aren’t sweating it out in bed though.” As much as he liked to work in heat when he was running fevers high enough to kill off the average alpha and beta it wasn’t much possible to do any inventing.

“You shouldn’t know what that smells like, not many people get the pleasure,” she says, her hand flexing just a bit and he moves his fingers, causing her to flinch. Wrong movement though, so she was in no danger. It wasn’t like he wanted to kill her; he just wanted to freak her out enough not to kill him, thanks.

“Medical professional,” he says lightly.

“Liar,” she says, squeezing just a bit more.

“Fine, I have siblings asshole,” he squeaks out. She scans his face and miraculously does not find that he’s lying. How he managed to look even remotely truthful when the first lie was more truthful than the second he had no clue. Technically he _did_ have a doctorate, he had five, so he _was_ technically a doctor just not of the medical variety.

“Well, you’re clearly rich…” she says as if that meant something. Well, it meant a little, richer families tended to have better living and eating conditions, which were highly correlated with omega presentation. Personally Tony found those studies flimsy at best but he couldn’t exactly help what propaganda was floating around at any one time.

“I’m going to assume that’s why you stuffed me in your shit version of prison,” he says, his voice scratchy. The redhead shrugs, not even bothering to deny it. “Well if its money you want I’ve been disowned,” he says. It was kind of true; his disowned himself so by all means he was free.

“I’m not a fool though you certainly are. I know you’re an omega, you were surprised by my scent because you have no idea how I’ve managed to suppress my heat and you want to know how too. If you have something of value I might be inclined to give you that information,” she says, eyes zeroing in on his glove.

“Not happening. But I have a few things of value, if you’ll be so inclined to give me my stuff back,” he says. It wasn’t like they could get into the bag, the bag required fingerprint scans and she wouldn’t have bothered negotiating if she had figured out how to get to his stuff.

“How do I know you don’t have other surprises in there,” she asks, raising an eyebrow. So she didn’t know who he was, exactly, though she might have some idea given their general geographical location.

“You don’t but lets be real here, I can flex my fingers faster than you can choke me out so it really is in your best interest to not try and murder me,” he points out. She squints at him for a moment before removing her hand from his neck altogether and standing back.

“If you try anything I _will_ kill you,” she warns, “and don’t to anything to Loki,” she says, gesturing to the dark haired guy on the ground.

“Loki’s an idiot,” he says.

“No one is denying that,” the redhead mumbles as she leaves the room. She’s efficient, the redhead, because she’s back within minutes holding his bag out to him. “Try anything and you _will_ die,” she says in case he somehow missed that the first time. Yeah, okay.

“I’m curious, what’s Loki got to offer to you? Something good if you find him stupid,” he says, scanning his thumbprint on his bag to open it.

“None of your business,” she snarls at him.

“You’re a friendly one,” he observes, finding the perfect trading item. “So who are you?” he asks to make conversation.

“Also none of your damn business,” she snaps. Yeah, alright, so he wouldn’t want people knowing his name in case he got shipped back to being a god but still, a first name was hardly distinctive information. What a total jerk.

“Fine, be that way,” he says, pulling toilet paper Pepper had stuck in his bag out, “what’ll this get me?” he asks, purposely playing dumb. He wasn’t a moron, toilet paper had to cost good ‘money’ to the homeless.

For a moment the redhead stills, “three pills,” she says and he snorts.

“Please honey, I’m basically holding gold, the only thing better for you would be tampons. I’m not an idiot contrary to popular belief, I suggest giving me a fair ‘price’ so to speak,” he says confidently. She doesn’t look impressed that he figured out that quickly that he was being low-balled. Just because he hadn’t initially thought toilet paper was important didn’t mean he didn’t see the genius of Pepper’s packing it for him. She really was wonderful and thought of everything.

She eyes the toilet paper and sighs, “fifty pills,” she says reluctantly.

“What’s the dosage?” he asks and she looks even less impressed. This was something he was good at at least, negotiating; he did it enough with his tech that he had acquired the skill without getting underhanded. He was no fool, if fifty pills were going to last like three heats that wasn’t exactly the most ideal of conditions, but if it would last awhile then great, they had a deal.

“Three pills a day for as long as your heat lasts or as needed,” she says grudgingly. Yeah, alright, that was a pretty good deal but he didn’t really do ‘good’ he did great.

“Double that and we have a deal,” he says, grinning.

The redhead snorts, “as if, sixty pills max,” she says.

“Ninety,” he counters.

“Seventy,” she snaps, eyes glued to that toilet paper. He got the distinct feeling that this was out of character given that she had reacted to the situation far better than her still unconscious dark haired counterpart. She must really need that toilet paper.

“Eighty,” he says even though seventy had been his goal. He was pretty known for pushing every boundary he could, might as well push this one too.

“Fine,” she grinds out, “give me that toilet paper,” she says.

He snorts, “oh no, give me the pills first and _then_ I’ll hand over the toilet paper,” he says. She mumbles some and gives him another warning about trying something stupid but it’s half-hearted at best. Apparently he’s earned some trust then, if only just a little.

She comes back too fast for him to pull any other weapon from his bag, probably purposeful, but lucky for him her dark haired partner in crime Loki wakes up. “What’s going on?” he mumbles, rubbing at his head.

“We have toilet paper,” the redhead tells him.

“From where?” he mumbles, still disoriented.

“The rich guy, now get up and make yourself useful by getting that toilet paper,” she tells him, one hand planted on her hip the other holding a bottle that presumably had his pills. Lovely.

Loki blinks a few times to centre himself and looks around, “I am _not_ going anywhere near him,” he says, eyeing Tony wearily.

“If you want that toilet paper I’d suggest rethinking that,” she says, “and take these over while you’re at it,” she tells him.

“So what are those made out of, exactly?” he asks. Assuming he could break into a lab, and he could considering he’s designed all the systems that are currently used, he could reverse engineer them anyways but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to ask.

“None of your business,” she snaps, apparently fond of that response.

“It is if I’m going to take them, for all I know you’re feeding me rat poison,” he points out. She rolls her eyes, unscrews the cap on the bottle and eats a pill while looking him dead in the eye just to prove a point. Fine, point taken. He unrolls a good portion of the toilet paper, also looking her dead in the eye while doing so, “if I loose something out of the deal, so do you,” he says. He assumed the supplies to make these things were easy to come by if she was willing to give up so much of her supply. He could probably find the ingredients from a pharmacy and permanently borrow them.

“Get the fucking toilet paper,” the redhead snaps and Loki jumps to it, obviously more frightened of her than him. He sensed a story there but he wasn’t about to get the answers to his question so he keeps his curiosity to himself. Loki grabs the pills from the redhead and begrudgingly approaches Tony while the redhead eyed him up like he was something for her to murder later.

He hands over the pills and Tony hands the toilet paper over. Loki, suspicious as he is of Tony, makes the mistake of turning his back to him as soon as he perceived that he was out of Tony’s range of motion. The redhead notices the mistake right away but Tony has already raised his hand and flexed his fingers, sending Loki blasting into the redhead and knocking them both out efficiently.

Grinning Tony hops off the table he was on and snatches the fallen toilet paper off the floor, stuffing it in his bag happily. He pats down Loki, finding I.D that does indicate that’s his real name but he’s made some good fake I.D for himself so it could very well be fake. The redhead’s says she’s Natalia Romanova, which doesn’t sound familiar, but it could also be fake so he leaves it. He finds his way out of the building and finds the nearest second hand store to break into so he could give himself a makeover to look a little less wealthy.

*

He makes himself a new bag too; all the security measures none of the visible wealth. It wasn’t completely out of the realm of possibility that someone could have finagled the contraption he had made though none of the modifications were immediately visible so it probably wouldn’t be an issue.

With that he makes his way towards the city’s edge with intentions to not look back. He’s never been that far out, was never allowed to, so he was curious to say the least. Interestingly Howard had never cared where he went, at least not initially; it was Obadiah that insisted he stay within city limits unless travelling to a specific location. He had never understood that but with time Howard had come to agree, which pissed Tony off but he was willing to blame Obi for that. If he had kept his nose out of Tony’s business than he wouldn’t have had to deal with Howard harassing him back into the house.

Not that any of that mattered now because he was free from all the shit that held him back and he was feeling light, even if his head still hurt. He sure as hell hoped that he didn’t run into that redhead again in the near future, he had gotten lucky and he wasn’t overly fond to see if his luck would hold up.

As it turned out he didn’t have to test his luck, luck just happened to fall right into his lap. He was passing what looked like a factory of some sort when he spots two guys huddled around what he presumed was the lock on the gate they were in front of. They were mumbling back and forth, irritated with each other for not being able to figure out how to bypass the security without setting off the alarms. Sensing an opportunity Tony walks over, only managing to alert them to his presence when he was just behind them, “you guys look like you could use some help,” he says before one or both managed to pull a weapon.

The shorter of the two glares at him through his long hair, “there is no way you can break into this, it was made by Tony Stark,” he says, sparing the keypad an irritated glance. Clearly someone was upset with his skill and talent in the tech department.

“Yeah well I know a thing or two about tech,” he says, stepping forward and punching in a twenty-eight number passcode that would get them in without anyone ever knowing the gate was even opened. He had designed it after people had noticed him sneaking in and out of the mansion and he liked his small snatches of freedom, however brief they were. So the code got him in and out without anyone ever noticing and even better Howard hadn’t noticed the code’s presence before he had the keypad lock mass reproduced to prevent break-ins that supposedly happened frequently in this particular section of town.

The two guys stare at him in shock as the gate swings open, “well, it was nice talking to ya,” he says and he goes to turn around to walk away but the taller guy snorts.

“Oh hell no, you get your skinny ass back here and help us out,” he says, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh, no, just because he got lucky with the keypad doesn’t mean he knows anything else,” the other guy says, hands planted on his hips.

“You think too much like Steve sometimes. If the guy knew about the keypad he’s bound to know a little about all the other shit we’re going to have to deal with and I am _not_ going to jail. Again. Wait, how _did_ you know about the keypad?” he asks, head tilted to the side. He doesn’t look near as suspicious as his longhaired counterpart but he doesn’t exactly look trusting either.

“I’ve run into my fair share of them,” he says because it was technically true, “trial and error until I figured it out.” That was also true, but they didn’t need to know that was because he made the damn things.

“That’s vague,” Long Hair says.

“It’s enough for me,” the taller guy says, “we kind of need those wires more than we need to be suspicious so pull your head out of you butt and just deal with it. Lets go Skinny,” he says, nodding to the now open gate. Long Hair glares at him but he shrugs, going along with it because he could use it as a bargaining chip later.

The cameras were easy to fuck up because they hadn’t been updated yet. He suspected it was because those keypads were difficult to mess around with. They weren’t infallible though and it was stupid of these people to have put that much faith in such a flimsy security measure. The doors were a bit more difficult, they didn’t actually have any tech on them, but the other two seemed to know how to make quick work of the powerful locks so that hadn’t mattered. “So what kind of wire are you looking for?” he asks for conversation purposes.

“Wire for wiring,” Long Hair says and Tony snorts.

“No shit, Sherlock,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes.

Long Hair squints, “that has got to be the worse guess at my name I have ever heard,” he says. Tony opens his mouth to say that no, Sherlock was a book character but it occurs to him that this guy clearly didn’t have that knowledge and it might look weird if he did. He wasn’t in the business of sticking out in ways that indicated he was different in a way that would get people to look too closely. Different in a way that made him useful though, that could ensure his survival.

“Well its better then Long Hair,” he says back, carefully skirting the subject nicely. “So seriously, what do you need the wire for because that will drastically change which materials you want to steal. I mean you don’t want something that’s made to be indoors outside, that would be unpleasant.” He’s had that happen and he accidentally shorted the mansion out. Howard had not been impressed.

“Sherlock’s a stupid name,” Long Hair mumbles.

“Better than ‘Bucky’. And if you know which wire would be good for outside that’d be great,” the taller guy says.

“First off don’t tell him my name! We don’t know who he is! And why are you trusting him over me?” Bucky asks, sounding almost offended. Tony probably would have assumed Taller One was listing off shitty names but Bucky had been dumb and confirmed his own name. Well then.

“Because you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing and neither do I. And Bucky isn’t even your real name; it isn’t like I handed out I.D number so relax will ya. Besides, in case you forgot _he_ was the one who broke in so if we get busted he’s almost more fucked than we are, it’s in his best interest to not screw us over,” Tall One points out. Yeah, true, but if he got busted he doubted anything would come of it and that pissed him off. He shouldn’t be above the law because biological happenstance, everyone should be equally susceptible to the laws and the justice system, omegas included.

“I guess,” Bucky mumbles, wilting a little and glaring at Tony.

“So what’s _your_ name?” Tony asks the other guy.

“Rhodey,” he supplies readily.

“Don’t tell him your name!” Bucky says, offended at Rhodey’s actions.

“It isn’t my real name, genius. It isn’t like he could get anything from it anyways, you know how many Rhodeys there must be out there? And Buckys while we’re at it. So what’s _your_ name?” Rhodey asks turning to Tony and raising an eyebrow.

“Tony,” he says flippantly, like the information wasn’t important at all. To be fair it wasn’t like either one of them would put together that he was _Tony Stark_ of all people. That was implausible if not outright impossible, at least to them.

He looks around, recognizing the surroundings from all the other warehouses that he’s been in that look just like this one. Rhodey and Bucky bicker about names and Tony ignores them, splitting off towards the section that they needed. Well, Rhodey and Bucky, he was hoping to blackmail them into safety for his assistance in their endeavours.

“Hey, wait, where the hell are you going?” Rhodey asks, quickly spinning on his heel and chasing after Tony.

“To get your wires, duh,” he says. They maybe had five minutes before the cameras being scrambled would draw attention and they had used two of those precious minutes arguing about names and motivations.

“Why are you even helping us?” Bucky asks, intent on wasting another two minutes on this topic, apparently. Rhodey lets out a long-suffering sigh and Tony felt that deeply.

“I’m planning on black mailing you into ensuring my safety,” Tony says bluntly and Rhodey laughs, clearly appreciating him in the way in which he should be appreciated.

“I like him,” Rhodey says.

“ _Why_?” Bucky asks, sounding bewildered.

“Because he’s blunt and doesn’t fuck around, a guy can appreciate,” Rhodey says.

“Aww, thanks honey,” Tony says sweetly.

“I will hurt you,” Rhodey says in a serious enough tone that Tony suspected he could but not that he would.

“Uh huh, sure,” he says, ducking into the right room, assuming this warehouse was stocked like the others he’s been in. Luck was on his side because it was and the wire he was looking for specifically was right in front of him. Excellent.

“We so are so are not letting you blackmail us,” Bucky says and Tony hands him a large pile of wire.

“Fine, but have fun getting out when the alarms go off in three… two… one,” he says and the alarms start blaring right on time. He raises an eyebrow as Rhodey starts looking for an exit with a panicky expression on his face.

Tony already knew which route he’d take out of the building though it would depend on how, specifically, this building was secured and where the security personal were. But he had his own methods of distracting them and all he needed was a StarkPad to send the guards into a wild goose chase. He steps past Bucky and Rhodey to poke his head into the hallway, thankfully finding it clear of people. “Fuck this, I’m with him,” Rhodey says, hurrying after Tony.

“What the fuck, we could have gotten out of this just fine!” Bucky says, hurrying after Rhodey.

“Like hell, we couldn’t get _in_ let alone _out_. Besides, we either venture out on our own and get busted, get busted and pin it all on Tony and _still_ get fucked, or one us gets the other two out. I’m going to stick eggs in Tony’s basket,” Rhodey says and Tony makes a face.

“That does not sound right,” he says, “this way.” He ducks into an office and Bucky gives Rhodey a look and Rhodey keeps the chain going by giving Tony the same ‘are you fucking kidding me’ look.

He finds a StarkPad and makes a pleased noise before making his way to the door, eyes glued to the StarkPad while he hacks security, scrambling the cameras again and triggering twelve different alarms all in various places around the large building. He also turns on the sprinklers in several areas too, and sends all the computers on the fritz.

“How the hell did you just do all that?” Bucky asks as Tony pulls up the building’s blueprints on the StarkPad.

“Talent,” he says, making a quick left turn towards the nearest exit. Bucky and Rhodey follow him as he intentionally turns off certain alarms and turns on others to throw the staff off. He makes another left turn and the exit to freedom is at the end of the hallway.

“If you get us out of here unnoticed I’ll put in a good word for you,” Bucky says, sounding impressed. Put in a good word where and to whom Tony had no idea and he didn’t ask, he just turned on some more alarms and sprinklers to be an asshole.

Rhodey swears under his breath as they exit, just in time for Tony to give the outside lights a strobe effect and send them swivelling all over the place. It was way harder to claim you saw something when they light was only on it for a few seconds at best. “You must be an omega or something because you have got the luck of the gods on your side,” he says, sounding awed.

And just like that Tony’s good mood was gone in a zap. He did not have the luck of the gods; he had the luck of _making the fucking tech he was currently screwing with_. But he couldn’t tell Rhodey that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I have seen Civil War and although this isn't going to have outright spoilers in it it does have characters we haven't seen before Civil War, most notably T'Challa. I'm being a bit overly cautious here by warning for CW spoilers but references are most likely there, I have a huge tendency to write what I know whether or not I intend to explicitly do that. 
> 
> But still, T'Challa is there and although I'm fairly certain nothing for CW is actually spoiled here his entire character is new and unknown by anyone who hasn't seen CW so. Just so y'all know. Also Redwing but the machine isn't overly important in CW.

Bucky and Rhodey laugh and he laughs along with them, easily faking it having done so for so much of his life before. “Holy shit I can’t believe we just got away with that,” Bucky says, shaking his head with a grin. He was attractive, Bucky, when he wasn’t scowling and glaring at people through his long hair and making snippy comments.

“Hell yeah we did, we’re awesome,” Rhodey says, slinging an arm around Bucky’s shoulders.

“Uh, _I’m_ awesome, you two helped,” Tony says, nose in the air in a mockery of pretentiousness. It was true; they wouldn’t have gotten in let alone out without him but they all played their parts. Like being around later for him to blackmail into some sort of shelter, they had to come from somewhere and he needed somewhere to go.

“Yeah, yeah hotshot, you got lucky,” Rhodey says, “but I like you and I’ll bet Steve will hate you but I’m going to bring you home anyways. I’m a rebel and he stole my cookie so I feel like brining home some rando with some serious tech knowledge is sufficient revenge while also being useful, you know, because I’m a rebel but not a wasteful one.”

Bucky frowns, “you’re seriously going to bring him home? That’s a really dumb idea and it was Sam that stole your cookie,” he says.

“To the hospital, its home enough these days. Besides, he’s a beta, he’ll probably be dead in a week anyways,” Rhodey says, “and now that I know Sam blamed Steve for stealing my cookie he’ll get some petty revenge too.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence,” Tony says. He’d like to say it was unlikely that he’d die should he contract the plague, his body was built to withstand high fevers and other rough bodily conditions but he can’t exactly tell them that. At worst they’d find out anyways but if all went well he wouldn’t have to deal with any of that shit.

He was also curious how he got the beta label but alphas always seemed to be able to identify each other so maybe it was one of those weird alpha things. He always knew which people were omegas so maybe it was the same for Rhodey and if he wasn’t an alpha clearly he was a beta. Omegas would not be wandering around in some random area unattended dressed in ratty clothes helping random alphas break into warehouses.

“Can’t help that you’re more likely to die than us,” Bucky says, “you have any medical training?” he asks.

Tony shrugs, “some basics, yeah, but nothing particularly useful. I’m far better with tech than people,” he says. He was eighty percent sure that was a family trait considering Howard was also far better with tech than people, his mother had been alright with people but mostly only good with Howard.

Sometimes he missed her but most of the time he barely even remembered her. She had died when he was so young that he often had a hard time remembering much more than her scent and sometimes the sound of her voice. Most of his memories had long become tainted by Howard’s grief over losing his wife and his subsequent neglect of Tony. For a long time he hated is mother for dying and leaving him with Howard’s bullshit but then he grew up a little and realized that it was Howard’s fault he was an asshole, not Maria’s.

Something must show on his face because Bucky and Rhodey look suddenly uncomfortable, like they were privy to the place his thoughts just went. “How long have you been on your own?” Bucky asks, looking and sounding sorry for him. He would have thought people outside the city would he hard, rough, he’s heard all the horror stories from Obi and others but it didn’t seem to live up to reality. Or maybe he just got really lucky with these particular people, who knows.

“Basically my whole life,” he says, purposefully leaving things vague. It wasn’t false, the first ten years of his life he was an outcast in his own family because his parents loved each other more than him and when his mother died Howard took a turn for the worst. He’s only just pulled himself out of the damn bottle and by then the damage was done. Even if he had been there for Tony like he had been trying to be lately all he ever saw was an omega and that did Tony no favours. He was more than the sum of his parts and he was tired of people only ever seeing his biology. It was exactly like it used to be when omegas were basically cattle; all they would ever be is a stew of biological parts, never people. It was why he left.

*

Steve Rogers was an asshole of epic proportions, Tony was not a fan. Rhodey vouches for him but that got smacked down pretty quick and Rhodey seems to know Steve wasn’t bending in his will because he shakes his head and walks away. Yikes. “He’s right Steve, we could use his knowledge, his skills,” Bucky says though quietly, like he’s prepared to be smacked down in two seconds too.

But Steve’s face softens a little, “Bucky we don’t have the resources,” he says softly, like he regretted kicking someone to the curb when he had no qualms about kicking that person to the curb ten seconds ago. Tony was going to get whiplash dealing with this guy he swore.

“But we could, he got us past those key pads Stark updated in like three seconds with some code. And he’s the only reason we got out of that building,” Bucky says, “we could use that.”

“I have toilet paper,” Tony says holding his bag up. If it worked on the redhead and her dark haired trickster goon it might work on these people. This gets the attention of everyone in the room and the sudden silence is jarring. Tony had thought it was quiet before, everyone had been intent on watching Steve boot Tony out but it turned out there were a lot of whispers that he hadn’t noticed.

“One ply?” one of the guys asks, eyes glued to Tony’s backpack.

“Fuck no, I’m not sandpapering my asshole, I have standards. Two ply,” he says, minorly offended that this guy assumed he’d use _one ply_. Justin Hammer probably used one ply toilet paper.

The guy throws his hands up, “holy shit we have two ply!” he says excitedly, “we have _two ply_! Someone break out that shitty Champaign because this is a special occasion, we do _not_ have to sandpaper our assholes! I am so excited it will be three days of heaven!” he says, dancing around happily.

Steve takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose, “seriously Sam? We are not wasting resources because you don’t like the one ply,” Steve says but he doesn’t look too keen on disappointing him either. Great because it was dark and cold and Tony was pretty tired of wandering around, he’s had a hard two days.

“Bucky said he could get us past the keypads, if we can get past the keypads we go back to actually having food. And there is _two ply toilet paper_ on the line Steve, plus we could actually use the extra help with the wiring,” Sam says, growing more serious at that last bit. Tony wasn’t one hundred percent sure where he was, exactly, and if this was the hospital Rhodey and Bucky had mentioned…

Well then he had some bigger problems than shelter. This couldn’t possibly be the hospital they mentioned though, first off the building was half falling apart, it was clear that there was no power, and if Tony hadn’t been brought inside he would have assumed the building was condemned. It wasn’t like he had been wandered all that far in, he had only been brought into the first main area but he had the misfortune of being familiar with hospital scents and this sure as hell did not smell like a hospital. It sort of stank like death and desperation actually.

After a few beats of silence and Steve considering Sam’s words he finally speaks, “you better have that toilet paper,” he says in a tone that Tony did not particularly care for. He never had liked vaguely threatening tones, especially coming from asshole leader types, but he didn’t have much of a choice but to deal with it here.

He opens his bag and tosses a toilet paper roll at Steve, “two ply, just like I said.” He doesn’t mean to sound so snarky, almost condescending, but he couldn’t help it. Steve gives him a sharp look but Sam’s letting out an enthusiastic squeal and stealing the toilet paper out of Steve’s hands and holding it high in the air like some kind of trophy. That’s about when everyone else lunges at him, all of them trying to steal the toilet paper without causing it any damage.

“You have a forty eight hours to prove yourself useful or your out,” Steve says harshly and he’s gone, walking out the door and into another room.

Bucky looks impressed, “I can’t believe he let you stay,” he says, shaking his head in surprise or wonder Tony didn’t know.

“He’s staying?” someone, Rhodey, asks from the other side of the room. He must have come through the door on the other side of the room that Tony hadn’t initially noticed.

“Uh huh,” Tony says, grinning.

“Oh good because I have some projects that you better be able to help me with,” Rhodey says and yeah, this was familiar, wanted even.

“Lead the way buddy, I’m happy to help,” he says, content to leave everyone fighting Sam for toilet paper behind. He had another roll in his bag but he sure as hell wasn’t telling these people that, he wanted to live and also keep his toilet paper.

*

It turned out that the building _was_ the hospital and Tony was more than a little disgusted with the conditions. He had helped Rhodey with his projects; he and Sam had been working on a generator with what looked like little success. It had been considerably easy for him to work out the kinks on the generator but he had more experience with this sort of thing. Back when he was kept out of the lab he used to make projects out of the weirdest of things, it had driven Pepper nuts because she kept loosing watches and bracelets to his tinkering. To be fair he had been the one to buy those things for her most of the time so it was like borrowing it back and then replacing the thing he took only to use it in some other project. It had become a running joke with them.

Rhodey had been impressed but Tony hadn’t, the generator was small and needed a far better power source, something solar would be ideal given the sun was an unlimited power source. Rhodey’s next project wasn’t so easy but he had a few ideas for Sam’s lovely little hover machine that he had named ‘Redwing’, mostly in regards to keeping it undetected by his own tech. Next up was the wiring and that was when Tony had been introduced to the actual ‘hospital’ section of the building.

The smell was wretched and it took just about everything in his power not to gag and throw up. Rhodey wrinkles his nose but it was clear this was a scent he was used to and that only served to piss Tony off more. This was not the sort of thing anyone should be used to and he was going to get to the bottom of this. “Do you not get any sort of… funding or something?” he asks because they must get _something_ to maintain this… squalor. It sure as hell didn’t look like they got any funding if the general filth and obvious over population of people were any indication. The room was huge; probably most of the building and almost the entire surface area was filled with people either on what looked like prison cots or the filthy ground.

Rhodey lets out a sharp laugh, “no man, we get shit all. No one cares about you unless you live within the city limits, if you’re out here the only thing your good for is testing,” he says.

He frowns, “testing?” he asks. It occurs to him after Rhodey gives him a weird look that he should know these things and that it might look weird to ask questions. “I lived pretty close to the city until recently, the conditions weren’t great but they weren’t… this,” he says, sweeping an arm around at the pretty sad image in front of him. This should not exist and he was going to figure out how, why, and who and then they were going to fucking pay for this.

“Oh, that explains a lot about you then. Most people around these parts know this is about as good as it gets as far as hospitals go. And the testing? We aren’t even sure what they’re looking for anymore, at first we figured they were looking for a cure to the plague but that doesn’t really match up with what we’ve found. To be honest it seems random, nonsensical. I’ve met a lot of people who managed to escape various facilities and their stories are never the same, the results are almost always different too. I know they say omegas are gods and all that but Tony Stark must be one cruel sonofabitch to let all this happen,” he says.

For a second he’s stunned because it wouldn’t have even occurred to him to blame himself but he supposes Rhodey has a point. He’s supposed to be the top of the government system, almost outside of it even, and yet he knew nothing of this. He wondered if Howard knew anything about this. It wasn’t like there weren’t rumors about the ‘old days’ when Howard had apparently been into some pretty crazy shit. If Tony found out he had anything to do with this he was dead, father or no. In the meantime he guessed he’d start calculating just how horrible his neglect had been to these people, just how much he had to fix. “Yeah, something tells me he has no idea this is happening,” he says, wandering further into the room.

“What makes you say that?” Rhodey asks, “it stands to reason a god would know everything.”

“First off I’m atheist, omegas aren’t gods to me and even if they are, for arguments sake, they’re confined to a human body. What makes you think they have more than human capabilities? And being smart doesn’t count, Sam build Redwing out of scraps, no one considers him a god despite doing pretty much the exact same thing Stark does. And elder Stark for that matter. It isn’t bad godhood on the behalf of omegas that cause this; it was naiveté, stupidity, disinterest, and apathy. Things didn’t get this bad because Stark wanted people to suffer; they got this bad because he didn’t care to look. Big difference,” he says. That, and he wasn’t much allowed to look anywhere but where Obi and Howard tried to point his head. It didn’t always work that way but it wasn’t like he hadn’t cared to change that himself when he so obviously should have.

“Does it really matter in the end?” Rhodey asks, casting a look around at the sleeping bodies. Or Tony at least hoped they were sleeping, he didn’t really want to think of the alternative.

“Of course it does. People who are blind to issues can be made to look, compelled to change things. People who don’t care what they see aren’t going to do anything but what they want,” he says. And he was looking now; he’d be looking as hard as he could from now on. This was unacceptable and it was all his fault, even if he just told Rhodey it wasn’t.

*

The wiring was a pain in the ass but only because the building was in terrible conditions. But he did it anyways because this was the least he could do for these people when he owed them so much more. Sam was excited about fucking toilet paper for gods sakes. He was fairly sure Rhodey ended up with the roll after a long battle for it, having snuck it out from under everyone else and happily running off to his own space after that.

“Do you sleep?” someone asks and Tony just about falls off the ladder he was on but he catches himself.

He turns to find a man looking up at him suspiciously but not with the hardness that Steve had had when he had essentially told him to die elsewhere. He wondered what Steve had gone through to make him so cold. Something the man looking up at him hadn’t, obviously. “Sometimes. Extreme insomnia, I usually only sleep a few times a week,” he says. It drove Howard nuts and he tried his best to curb Tony’s sleeping habits but it never worked. Mostly because Tony never cared to sleep, there was always so much to do in so little time.

“Grief of guilt?” the man asks, tilting his head to the side quizzically. He had an accent and that was curious, travelling by sea was considerably dangerous with the plague around. One person brings along the bacteria and the entire boat was infected within days, people typically stuck to their own countries and sent drones for trade routes.

“Restlessness,” Tony says, “lack of purpose, direction. I’ve got nowhere to go and a lot of time to do it I guess.”

The man nods, seemingly assessing Tony. “You’ve made yourself pretty useful here, Sam says your designs for Redwing might actually work and Rhodey has taken to you. Bucky is also quite fond of you after you managed to fix that malfunction in his arm. If it is a purpose you are looking for you may very well find it here, Steve will have a hard time denying your usefulness even with the lack of resources,” he says.

“Yeah, something tells me he doesn’t like me much so we’ll see. Bucky’s arm wasn’t a big deal, it was only a small wiring cross over that kept making the stupid thing twitch. And Rhodey is great, smart too but not as smart as Sam. Redwing is impressive, I want one,” he says, grinning. The drone was adorable, and chirped like Dummy did when you spoke to it. He had been enthused with the little bot and Rhodey had accused him of being too much like Sam but it hadn’t seemed to be a bad thing.

“Steve has been through a lot, seen a lot, it has made him as hard as it has soft. He may be tough but he isn’t a fool, you have skills we need right now and he will make things work should you continue with a surprisingly impressive ability to get things done. So, may I have your name?” he asks, smiling up at Tony.

Tony thought this guy had way too much faith in Steve but he doesn’t say that because maybe he was wrong, it was possible that he misjudged the guy but Tony had gotten pretty good at detecting assholes. Steve Rogers was definitely an asshole, at least right now. He was sure there was a reason, there was always a reason, but it didn’t usually make actions forgivable no matter how understandable. He had gotten more days out of the guy to not screw up but he hadn’t seemed impressed with that development so Tony was fairly certain that he hadn’t been the one to okay that.

“Tony,” he says, answering the man’s question, “and you are?”

“T’Challa,” the man says, “do you need help with that?” he asks, gesturing to the wiring.

“Nah, I’m almost done and I get the feeling you came here to do something else so I won’t hold you up,” he says. All he had left to do was attach the wires at the panel and the room would actually have light, not that he wanted to see what this looked like with a spotlight on it. It was needed though, and actually being able to see what you’re doing in the huge mostly windowless room would be a blessing. As it was the only light came from a few small windows high up on the walls that didn’t do much to light the large space they were in.

“You’ve done all this in the night?” T’Challa asks, nodding towards the ceiling.

“Most of it yeah, plus a few designs for Sam’s Redwing. Nifty little bot that one is, I like it, its got personality,” he says. Sam had agreed, happily telling Rhodey that Tony thought Redwing was cool and had personality so clearly he should accept Redwing as their new pet. Rhodey had given them both the most hilarious long suffering look and sent Tony off to deal with the wiring they had mapped out when they had gone into the hospital section of the building the first time. Tony’s second experience was not any better than the first.

“I would say you have been spending too much time with Sam but I don’t actually think you’ve spent any long periods of time with Sam. He is far too attached to the bot and clearly his love is infectious. I am curious as to how you managed to get all this done in a single night though, this is days worth of work.” T’Challa wasn’t wrong, not exactly, but Tony had been wiring and rewiring his lab since he was thirteen, he’s gotten very good at it and the lab was about the same size as this particular section of the building. After working out the initial issues of the horrible ceiling tiles it was fast and easy work.

“Experience,” he says vaguely.

T’Challa raises an eyebrow at that, “you have experience wiring very large spaces?” he asks, a hint of suspicion sneaking into his calm tone.

“Well, mostly taking wiring down but this is basically the same thing in reverse. Actually it isn’t, like at all, but still. Does it really matter how I got this done? Certainly not more than having it done,” he says. It didn’t look like these people were in much of a position to turn down help, people were literally dying at Tony’s feet even if he didn’t much want to think about the wheezing the people around him were doing while they attempted to stay alive. T’Challa doesn’t have anything to say to that so Tony goes back to wiring while T’Challa starts looking over the various patients in the room.

*

Bucky was curious to see how this played out because Tony was more than a little useful. He had some pretty intimate knowledge of Stark tech that had allowed Sam to properly modify Redwing to get past cameras and other security measures. The keypads were a nonissue now, Rhodey was basically in love with the guy, and T’Challa didn’t want him dead. All bonuses in Tony’s favour.

Unfortunately for him Bucky also liked him and that meant Steve hated him on principal. Bucky got it, Steve had basically raised him since he got pulled from that facility almost twelve years ago when he was fifteen so he wasn’t pleased that he had taken a shining to Tony. It meant Bucky might get hurt, end up disappointed or worse and Steve wanted to spare Bucky the pain. But sparing Bucky the pain for Steve meant not giving him a chance to feel at all and Bucky was long tired of that.

Steve didn’t do it on purpose he knew, but they all had so few connections left after everyone had died or gotten killed and Steve thought Bucky would end up in the same boat. Maybe he thought that if Bucky had no connections he wouldn’t feel the loss, but he felt the loss anyways because he saw it every day when he looked around. The hazards of borderline living in a hospital full of dying people. He wasn’t really spared the grief of losing people when all he ever saw were people dying, even if he didn’t have any immediate connections to them.

It was hard not to connect with Tony though, he was charismatic, helpful, constantly joking, he was all around a breath of fresh air around here and everyone felt it. As much as Bucky loved his family Steve spent half his time battle hardened and the other half too vulnerable to go near without shattering into a million pieces. Rhodey and Sam were lonely but hell bent on pretending they weren’t, T’Challa was still grieving for his lost father. Everyone else had their own issues too, including Bucky, so it made things difficult sometimes when everyone was either bitter or exhausted. Tony though, it was clear he was running from something but he was oddly… motivated by it, like the thing he was running from gave him some sort of purpose rather than taking that purpose away. Things were brighter with him around, literally because he fixed all the lights.

“I don’t like him,” Steve says finally breaking the silence.

“You don’t like him because he likes Bucky, that doesn’t count,” Sam says, giving Steve a _look_. They had been a great pair when they still were one. They had long ago worked out that they both had far too many issues to keep that chemistry going and thankfully the breakup hadn’t led to more issues. If anything Sam and Steve were closer for it.

“I don’t like him because he’s hiding something, he has a lot of skills and knowledge that aren’t accounted for and he doesn’t seem interested in sharing his past,” Steve says calmly and yeah, of course he’d have a logical reason for his dislike. Steve was good at that, explaining away his biases. He didn’t have many but the ones he did have generally drove everyone else nuts. But he was a good leader though, he listened to the group even if he didn’t agree with the majority decision and that was why everyone liked him so much.

“We don’t have the luxury of nitpicking, Steve. He’s proven very, _very_ willing to share his knowledge with us and the improvement in the last week has been more than enough to prove him at least somewhat trustworthy. I agree that he’s hiding something, and probably not something we would like, but he’s shown no malevolent intent, we cannot ignore that,” T’Challa says. Were Steve was hard T’Challa was soft and vice versa, they were considerably complimentary. T’Challa was a great leader, sometimes better than Steve, even when he was overrun with emotion. It was why he was allowed to stay when they had come across him on one of many food raids. It was why Tony had been allowed to stay past Steve’s allotted time period.

“He likes Redwing,” Sam says and Steve gives him a look, “what? I think that’s a definite plus. In all seriousness though he has done a _lot_ of work, T’Challa’s right, we can’t ignore that. He got Redwing past every security measure Stark has put in place, I didn’t even think that was possible,” he says.

Steve rolls his eyes, “you’re a genius Sam, you would have figured it out eventually,” he points out.

Rhodey shakes his head, “eventually, _that’s_ what you’re going to put your bet on? Yes, Sam would have figured it out but at what cost? And how long would that have taken him without Tony’s knowledge? I get that you’re suspicious of him and yeah things aren’t really adding up but for the first time in a really long time we have food, toiletries, other basic amenities. People are actually getting better here instead of worse because we can actually take the resources we need to help these people and you’re hung up on a shady backstory?” he asks.

He doesn’t look impressed but Rhodey rarely got along with Steve so that was unsurprising. He did get along great with Tony though, Tony brought out a side of Rhodey that Bucky hadn’t even known existed. To him Rhodey had always been tough, hard, he wore a shell around himself and didn’t let people past it much if ever but Tony made him laugh. Bucky didn’t even know Rhodey _could_ laugh let alone so hard he cried. Around Tony Rhodey was… relaxed, he made jokes, he even acted a bit silly and it was nice to see them bond. Rhodey deserved to be happy.

“We don’t know what he’s capable of,” Steve says and T’Challa lets out a sharp snort.

“We know exactly what he’s capable of, Steve, you’re just afraid he might use that against us. But for what purpose? We have nothing to offer him but something to do, something that may very well end in his death and he has been surprisingly generous with us. I understand why you find that odd, perhaps even why you see it as a red flag, but I doubt the man has an agenda against us. Even if he did he has more than tipped the scales in our favour, we know what he is capable of but he only has the bare minim knowledge of what we’re capable of. He stays,” T’Challa says in a tone that indicates that that’s the final decision.

Rhodey nods in agreement, as does Sam but Steve still looks apprehensive. But T’Challa was right, Tony had no idea what they were capable of and they had a pretty good read on Tony’s own skills. It was unrealistic to assume that Tony would be able to get past Steve, T’Challa, and Bucky alone considering they were all the result of government experiments that gave them super human abilities. That didn’t include Phil, Clint, and Rhodey, all of whom had an impressive set of skills. And Wanda was easily the most powerful of them all, if she wanted them dead, hell, if she wanted _everyone_ dead they would be. Tony had no idea what he was living with and it seemed absurd to assume he could do any sort of damage when Wanda alone could crush him with her mind.

“If something goes wrong that’s on you,” Steve says harshly, crossing his arms and glaring at T’Challa.

“If this goes right then you have to live with the knowledge that you would have thrown away a resource that has made our jobs considerably easier. We know what to do when things go wrong, but you’d have to live with the fact that things were going right and you decided that wasn’t good enough. I think I can live with my results, could you?” T’Challa says just as harshly. Steve looks away abruptly, blinking rapidly at the tears the harsh words brought to his eyes. “I didn’t think so. I understand your reservations Steve, and if Wanda could hack those keypads without tripping alarms I might have sided with you but that is not the case. He stays.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this a tad sleep deprived so if it doesn't make sense let me know, or if there are spelling errors ect. I'll probs go back and edit later but for now have it and hopefully there is not a crap ton of mistakes lol.

Bucky shifts uncomfortably for about the twelfth time and Tony decides there must be something wrong because this twitching around was too much for just being uncomfortable with sitting for so long. First off Bucky had only been sitting for roughly a half an hour and the twitching around had started about five minutes after Tony started poking around in his arm. He moves the light and to his surprise Bucky relaxes a little.

“Are you okay?” he asks. The answer was no but he figured he’d ask about the why to that later and hoped he got an answer. T’Challa was a sharp one and he had figured out quickly that Tony was running from something but what Tony wasn’t willing to say. He got the impression T’Challa was not about to give up but the man knew when to be subtle about his agenda and honestly Steve could take a lesson.

“I’m fine,” Bucky mumbles, looking away as if that wasn’t the most obvious tell in the world.

“No you aren’t,” Tony says in a matter-of-fact tone. Something was off and at the very least he’d like to avoid making Bucky uncomfortable. “I get that you might not be the most willing to talk and honestly me too buddy. But I’m obviously doing something that’s making you uncomfortable and I’m not going to continue working on your arm doing whatever it is that’s freaking you our because you think you’re being stupid.” He was pretty sure it was related to the light but without confirmation he wasn’t willing to take the risk that he was wrong.

That gets Bucky’s attention because his head snaps up to look at him, surprised, “what?” he asks.

“What what?” Tony asks back, confused. He thought he was pretty damn clear but maybe he was wrong. There have been plenty of times in his life where he thought he made his opinions explicitly known but people still didn’t understand, it was a thing apparently.

“You… you aren’t going to fix the arm?” he asks, apparently hung up on that detail.

“Not if it’s making you uncomfortable, no. If its something else that’s fixable than alright, I can work with that, but I’m not going to force you through an update on your arm. That would, well, it would display a shocking disregard to your bodily autonomy honestly,” he says. Now he was curious to hear if that was a regular thing, mostly because he wanted evidence that Steve Rogers was not a Perfect Angel like everyone else here made him out to be. He was supposed to be Bucky's protector or whatever so shouldn’t this be a thing he cared about?

“The arm is metal Tony, there is no bodily autonomy here,” Bucky says in such a matter-of-fact tone that for a moment Tony is thrown.

Maybe it was because he’s always considered tech to be an extension of himself given that it was one of the only forms of self-expression he’s ever had or maybe it was because he had a brain, but that was unacceptable. “I don’t give a shit what that arm is made of, it’s attached to your body in what appears to be a permanent way, you’re the one who controls it, you’re the one who deals with the consequences when it fails. It isn’t some hunk of metal that’s hanging limply off your side it’s a piece of your body and you should be the one who makes decisions about it regardless of the material that particular arm is made of,” he says perhaps a little too harshly.

Bucky frowns, “you have a lot of feelings about my arm and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not,” he says wearily, eyeing Tony a bit suspiciously.

“Sorry, that might have come on a bit strong. I just… are you used to that, people disregarding your comfort because something with your arm has gone buggy and it needs to be fixed? Do you even say anything about it? Because you should, it isn’t as if your arm exists independently to from the rest of you, its part of your person,” he says in a softer tone.

“I… never thought of it that way to be honest. I mean I guess it’s a part of me but it isn’t at the same time because it isn’t like the rest, it’s a _thing_ not a person,” he mumbles, looking at the offending body part.

“Bucky, just because the maintenance on that particular body part is different from the rest doesn’t mean its any less you. And even if you do consider the arm a thing its still _your_ thing for _you_ to decide what to do with so if you feel uncomfortable with something please say so.” This shouldn’t even be a discussion, it should be a given. He was missing information he was sure but that didn’t stop him from being irritated with the whole situation.

“Oh,” Bucky says softly, frowning just a little as that sunk in, “well if it makes you feel any better I don’t really care about the arm part. It’s the light that throws me off, its too bright, too- you know what it doesn’t matter just get this over with,” he mutters, looking away.

“Oh no, no, you are not getting out of this that easily Buckaroo. My refusal still stands until you’re comfortable and if that means I have to wait a year to fix that arm of yours than so be it,” he says, stubbornly crossing his arms. Bucky could try and out stubborn him all he wanted but Tony was basically the king of stubborn, he managed to out stubborn godhood and he’d out stubborn Bucky too.

“You aren’t going to give up any time soon are you?” Bucky asks.

“Nope. If you aren’t going to care about your bodily autonomy and mental health than I will care for you,” he says stubbornly.

After a moment of considering his words Bucky full on smiles and Tony takes that as a personal win, “thank you,” he says softly.

Tony shakes his head, “don’t thank me for something that should be a given, have higher standards than that, you deserve them.”

*

It wasn’t that he set out to get attached to Yinsen, it just sort of happened and he went with it. T’Challa warned him against getting attached to dying people, which was wise he guessed, but Yinsen was just so… drawing. Tony wasn’t the only one who felt it either, Rhodey had noticed, so had Sam, Bucky, T’Challa noticed despite the warning to not get close to the patients, and even Steve the ice king noticed.

His case was strange apparently because he’d be sick for a period of weeks and then for a short period of time he would get better, almost cured better, and then he would fall back into sickness. It hadn’t taken long for Tony to put the links together in a way that everyone else was unlikely to and Yinsen noticed. “So you’re an omega too,” he says softly as he watches the pieces fall into place for Tony. He had taken the night shift looking after the patients; he almost always did because he didn’t sleep well anyways.

“You have no proof of that,” Tony says lightly, looking away to do something else and hopefully dodge the subject. So he knew why Yinsen’s case was so weird, anyone else who thought about it long enough would come to the same conclusion. His heats were killing off the virus but he was too sick for it to work as a cure. Essentially his death was just that much more drawn out and wasn't that just chilling?

“You aren’t a stupid man, don’t play dumb with me,” Yinsen says, “you recognized the signs because you’ve lived them, hopefully sans the plague bit.” Yinsen lets out a soft laugh that quickly turns into what sounded like a very painful wet cough and Tony winces. He carefully helps Yinsen sit up so he could breath a little better and so Tony could replace his pillowcase.

“Maybe I am, what’s it matter?” he says, still looking elsewhere. It wasn’t like that knowledge changed anything, not really, because he wasn’t the god these people made him out to be. And man wasn’t that weird, listening to people either curse his existence or pray to him as if he had that kind of power. If he had the kind of power people thought he did he would help, he would do everything in his power to help but he had no idea _how_ to do that, if it was even possible. He wanted to help desperately but without the knowledge of what these people needed or how to make sure they got it he was at a loss.

“I matters because people say it does,” Yinsen says and Tony snorts. “You don’t believe me? Even after hearing these people pray to you?” he asks, surprised. Tony strips the dirty pillowcase off the pillow and replaces it with a fresh one, or at least as fresh as it got around here before placing it back on Yinsen’s bed.

He sighs deeply because it was going to be another one of Those Discussions, he could feel it. He had them somewhat frequently with Rhodey, the ones that led to him denying that anyone was a god based on any arbitrary criteria let alone their A/B/O score. Rhodey insisted that he was wrong and so did most everyone else minus Clint and, surprisingly, Steve. That was the only thing he and Steve agreed on though it certainly had not led to any bonding whatsoever. “These people don’t know any better, they’re looking for something to believe in and I guess that’s me. That doesn’t make me a god though,” he says logically.

Yinsen laughs softly as Tony carefully lowers him back to his mattress, completed with a fresh pillow. “Funny, I thought you were Tony Stark but you confirmed it,” he says and Tony internally swears at being one-upped by a fucking plague victim. “It doesn’t really matter who you are in the end, just who people think you are. Don’t give me that look, Tony, I know you don’t think you’re a god but these people do and that gives you power that you clearly don’t understand.” Tony isn’t sure if Yinsen’s right or not, just that he clearly believed his own words.

“Yeah but I shouldn’t have that power, it doesn’t even make any sense,” he says, frustrated with the situation. He doesn’t say anything about Yinsen managing to figure out who he was, it would have been a matter of time anyways and Yinsen was intelligent enough to have fooled people out of realizing he’s an omega for however long he’s been here. Clearly the man wasn’t an idiot.

“Just because you shouldn’t have that power doesn’t mean you don’t and you can’t disassociate yourself from that. I know that you know that, otherwise you wouldn’t be keeping the information to yourself. You want to help but you resist the position that best allows you to do something, why?” Yinsen asks, tilting his head to the side slightly as if he was curious. Probably was.

“I don’t want to be a god, I don’t want to be the reason for people’s suffering, and I don’t want to be their salvation. I’m just a man and I am _tired_ of people seeing me as everything but _Tony_. Is it so selfish to just want to just want to be me? To help people as _me_? To accept responsibility for my actions as _me_? Not as a god, but as Tony Stark, a person, someone who is isn’t infallible. I don’t understand why people feel the need to only view me through the narrow lens of their preconceived notions about me instead of letting me prove myself or fail like anyone else would. I don’t want to be immediately stuck on this hero pedestal only to be violently ripped down when people are disappointed that I’m not that great of a god, I want people to think I’m _human_ ,” he says meaningfully.

It wasn’t that he was disinterested in helping, in fixing things, but he didn’t want to do so under some false guise that he was divine. It was dishonest and frankly flat out dangerous, both for himself and for others. Imagine if he had bought that godly shit, imagine if he decided that his actions didn’t have regular consequences, that could end in disaster. Hell, as it was his own naiveté and apathy had already cost people in some very big ways, one of which he was currently siting in. What else he missed because people were too busy trying to shove him into a box while he was kicking and screaming instead of paying attention he had yet to find out.

He already knew what the consequences of being a god were; it was the reason he ran. He didn’t want to be the answer to someone’s prayers when he didn’t even hear them. He didn’t want to be some disembodied higher power, he had a body, he was very real, and he was very much not a god. Was it selfish to not want to be routinely dehumanized? To live a life in which he was _himself_ and not some set of ideals everyone thought he should be. It would be easier, he thinks, if people accepted that he was a person instead of a failed god or a god who had yet to act. He just wanted to be Tony Stark, free from all the insane assumptions people made about him so he actually could do something. It was working so far, people here didn’t know he was supposedly a god and he had done plenty of things that were actually useful, things that actually made a difference.

Yinsen nods, taking in the information Tony gave him. “You find yourself isolated,” he says and Tony nods even though he didn’t present it as a question, “most would think you have everything you could ever need. I suppose what they say is true about it being lonely at the top. You’re a man with everything and nothing at once and everyone is completely blind to your reality, including yourself.”

Normally Tony didn’t like philosophical conversation or whatever this was but he was curious about Yinsen’s opinion. “What do you mean everyone is blind to my situation including me? I like to think I know what my own life is like,” he says, working hard to make that not sound defensive. He liked Yinsen; he didn’t really want to alienate him much even if he couldn’t really go anywhere being sick and all.

“You remain blind to the amount of power you have, just how much people would rally around you to do the things you want. You think they limit you but you have no clue how to use your position to alter those limits, break them even. And everyone else, they assume you are something you are not and they have little interest in hearing what you have to say about your own godhood. They assume that your position makes you infallible, all-powerful, that you have no problems but their problems. Both sides have a fundamental misunderstanding of power and privilege and it has led to neglect on everyone’s behalf. You’re a good man, Tony, I can see it, let other people see it too,” he says. He must be tired because he slips off to sleep somewhat quickly, leaving Tony unable to respond to that.

He goes back to his duties with Yinsen’s words in mind but he doesn’t quite understand them, at least not right now. Bucky finds him sometime the next morning attempting to clean the floor with little success and much disgust. “Hey,” he says softly, leaning against the door jam, “how was your night?”

Tony sighs, “honestly it wasn’t that bad, I sort of cleaned the floor, I had a lovely philosophical conversation with Yinsen, and no one shit. That is basically the holy grail of these nights,” he says.

Bucky shakes his head and laughs, “you’re excited that no one shit, wow, I never thought I would bond with someone about being excited about the lack of human waste. You tired or are you okay to help me out for a little while?” he asks, looking Tony over himself for any visible signs of fatigue. He doubted his tiredness was visible but he lets Bucky look anyways to make him feel beter.

“I’ll be alright,” he says, “pretty sure Steve is supposed to be here soon anyways and then he’ll glare at me until I leave.”

“He will not glare at you until you leave,” Bucky says, taking the mop from Tony, “I don’t know why you think he hates you so much.”

“Uh, maybe because he does,” Tony points out before turning around and turning back around to take the mop back from Bucky. “We have a shitter and it is your duty to clean it because I’m only here to be nice and clean the floor.”

Bucky makes a face but accepts his fate, “aww,” he mumbles before shuffling off to go deal with the poor patient.

*

Tony is sitting by himself in front of Sam’s busted record player trying to figure out how to fix it. He had fixed Rhodey’s and discovered the excellence that is classic rock and now Sam wanted his fixed. When Tony had asked why he hadn’t fixed it himself Sam tells him that he isn’t the best with older tech or at least not nearly as good as he was with new tech. That was fair, Tony decided, because older tech was more and less complicated at the same time and it depended on the piece of tech which one of those things it was.

“Hey,” Bucky says, “have you slept yet?” he asks. Tony watches a little dumbly as Bucky walks up and gently touches his shoulder. If he wasn’t so sleep deprived he probably wouldn’t have leaned into that as much as he did but his body was an asshole and insisted on betraying him.

“‘M’fine,” he mumbles but he doesn’t move away from Bucky’s touch.

“Whens the last time you slept?” Bucky asks softly. Tony thinks about that and his answer must take too long because Bucky sighs, “you need to go to bed, you’re way too tired if you can’t even remember when you slept last. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He gently tries to pull Tony out of his seat and that’s when Tony wakes up a little.

“I’m fine, really,” he says and gently extracts his arm from Bucky’s grasp. For a moment he was certain Bucky was going to argue but he doesn’t, instead he grabs a stool and sits down beside Tony.

“Tell me what you’re doing,” he asks, looking at the record player with his head tilted to the side.

“Uh, fixing Sam’s record player?” he says but his voice goes up a bit at the end as if that was a question instead of a statement.

Bucky grins, “you sure about that?” he asks with a smirk on his face.

“Yes I’m sure about that, I’m just a little mentally foggy because this is a bit mind numbing,” he says, giving the record player a sidelong glance.

“You mean tired,” Bucky says, grinning.

“No, I mean mentally foggy,” Tony says, sticking his nose in the air because that was his opinion and he was sticking to it.

“Alright then, if you insist. So how’s the record player going then?” Bucky asks, leaning forward a bit. He was almost in Tony’s space and usually that irritated him when he was working. But Bucky wasn’t trying to get in the way or hinder him and he was mostly mentally categorizing parts at this point so it didn’t really matter all that much he supposed.

“Figuring out what goes where so when I take this thing apart to find the problem it will be easier to put back together again,” he says, “so what are you doing here? I figured you’d have better things to do.” Either that or he figured Steve would give Bucky a million and one things to do to keep him away from Tony like he had been since T’Challa essentially told Steve to suck it and gave permission for Tony to stay. He liked T’Challa, the man had a calming effect on him and he appreciated that greatly. Plus he had told Steve off and that was always a plus in Tony’s books.

“Hmm. I had some free time so I figured I’d see what you were up to, if you uh, wanted to do something maybe,” Bucky says in the most awkward way possible.

Tony laughs and Bucky practically shrivels up on his stool, which makes Tony laugh harder but not for the reason Bucky thought. Bucky goes to stand up and presumably escape what he thought was an extremely embarrassing moment but Tony holds out his hand, “I’m not laughing you off Bucky, I’m laughing at how awkward that was. You have no finesse,” he says fondly.

“I… well it isn’t like I have practice like _some_ people,” Bucky mumbles at Tony, looking grumpy. It was hilarious that Bucky thought that because he had absolutely zero practice with this sort of thing. People weren’t allowed to touch him and he wasn’t sure if that was law or some stupid rule Obi made up on the spot at some point but he didn’t like it much. In hindsight he probably should have looked up if that was a law or not because that should not be a thing, there were already laws in place for unwanted touching so omegas didn’t need their own laws. Maybe he’d ask Rhodey later, he might know.

“I’ll give you lessons later, for now I’m curious about this date. Will your keeper even let you leave?” he asks. Steve was freakishly overprotective of Bucky, especially around Tony, so he’d be surprised if he was even remotely okay with Bucky leaving the nest with Big Bad Tony.

Bucky looks surprised for a second before he drops back onto his stool, “oh, wow, okay that is relieving. I totally thought I embarrassed myself for a minute there but thankfully there was only a misunderstanding. Phew. And what do you mean will my keeper let me go? I’m guessing you’re talking about Steve but he isn’t my _keeper_ , I’m not like… a bee or something else that’s like… kept. Kept boy. Nope, actually we’re going to disregard that because Steve is basically my dad and that was far too weird for my tastes,” Bucky says, scrunching his nose adorably.

Tony snickers, “kept bee. Bucky bee, I’m going to call you that now so I hope you know what you’ve done. And Steve is so your keeper, he’s always trying to direct you into doing what he wants- don’t look at me like that he does- with your best interest in mind. Or at least what he assumes is in your best interest, which is so not a night out with me by the way. The guy basically starts frothing at the mouth when he sees that I have ventured closer than one hundred feet away from you at any given point. I doubt he’s gunna let his little Bucky bee out with me,” he coos the Bucky bee part and Bucky looks hilariously unimpressed with this.

“First, do not ever call me Bucky bee again. I already regret that kept bee comment. And Steve does not froth at the mouth when you’re closer than one hundred feet away, that’s an exaggeration,” Bucky says.

“Really?” Tony asks, getting off his stool and taking a small step towards Bucky, who relaxes a little, his eyes fixed on Tony as he takes another step closer. “So Steve isn’t trying to telepathically blow my head of with his dirty looks from the doorway right now, is he?” he asks, smirking when Bucky’s eyes flicker to the doorway and back to him.

“No,” Bucky lies.

“Liar, but your cute so I’ll let it slide. Did you want something from me Steve?” Tony asks, turning to face Steve but not actually moving away from Bucky. He gets an even dirtier look for that and honestly Tony decided the stick really needed to be pulled from his guy’s ass.

“T’Challa needs you for something,” he says sharply, his tone more than suggesting Tony was to take his leave immediately.

“Sure thing,” Tony says, calling Steve’s bluff, “but didn’t T’Challa and Sam take off like twenty minutes ago?” he asks, “they back already?” He gets _the_ most satisfying look from Steve, who clearly forgot that Sam and T’Challa had Sam and T’Challa things to do and weren’t currently here.

Haha, Tony one, Steve zero. “Guess I better go find them,” Tony quips, enjoying the pained look on Steve’s face, “see you later Bucky.” He takes off with a skip in his step knowing Steve looked like a total moron in front of his precious Bucky bee.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit short but it is here! Fair warning I know dick all about tech, this is all just shit I made up, do not expect actual tech knowledge here.

“Bucky bee? That is so cute,” Steve says, looking enthused.

“Thanks, I came up with it,” Tony says, relishing the ‘just swallowed a sour lemon’ look on Steve’s face.

T’Challa sighs, “Tony can I borrow you for a moment?” he asks and because he likes T’Challa he goes with him. That and those super calm vibes were totally unsettling when T’Challa wanted them to be. Tony kind of wanted that superpower.

“Please stop irritating Steve,” he says bluntly, getting straight to the point.

“He started it,” Tony points out and T’Challa sighs.

“He started it, you’ve perpetuated it, and I am ending it. I am tired of the bickering you two do for no reason whatsoever and refuse to listen to it any longer,” he says, those vibes getting a little bit more frightening right there. Seriously, Tony wanted that superpower. As it was he was fairly certain that his only superpower was the Power of Annoyance and it worked very well on Steve.

“Fine, but only because I like you,” Tony says flippantly, earning a sharp look from T’Challa but he doesn’t say anything so Tony takes as his cue to roam free. Actually he listened to T’Challa because he had a healthy amount of respect for the man but telling authority figures he actually liked them never seemed to end well for him. The reverse went just as well in his experience but watching them glare was funny so he chose to go that route.

Sam catches up with him then, complaining about people not appreciating Redwing in all his glory and seeking a friend who knew what was up. Then he got ahold of the ‘Bucky bee’ thing and had a whole new venture to engage in.

*

It had been a little over a week and Howard swore he had yet to take a breath, not one that counted anyways because his son was gone, Tony was _gone_ and no one knew where he was. He tried not to panic, Tony was a smart man, a very smart man, he was sure he was fine. But then he’d remember that Tony didn’t know how to survive by himself, why would he? He hardly had to learn life skills here and Howard suddenly realized how stupid that was, not teaching Tony basic life skills. He hadn’t thought Tony would need them and then he went _missing_.

Pepper knew nothing about this and that only served to make him even more worried because Tony and Pepper were very close, she knew everything about him and if she knew nothing they were doomed. Obadiah had assured him that they would find Tony but Howard had his doubts. Tony wasn’t a moron, if he wanted to disappear he had no doubt that he could do it and he wouldn’t be found unless he wanted to be.

What was odd was the lack of reports of anyone seeing him, and the lack of camera footage of his disappearance. Tony is very recognizable, and cameras were everywhere, it made no sense that no one, cameras included, had seen anything of Tony. Howard thought maybe he left the city but as far as he knew the security measures didn’t let up there so he was back at square one, wondering what the hell was going on. Reporters have been constant, harassing Howard for any word on Tony, asking why he left, _if_ he left though there was no evidence of foul play. One particularly brave reporter called for Tony’s blood. Happy had only just managed to haul him away before he strangled that asshole half to death.

Now he sat at his desk looking at all the papers with Tony’s face plastered all over them with the T.V shut off because all the channels were about Tony being missing, still, and he hadn’t wanted to hear it. He lost his wife just over fifteen years ago and now the only thing he had left of her was gone too. Drinking was tempting, very tempting, but he knew that wouldn’t do him any good. All it had done in the past was destroy his relationship with his son and all but force him to rely on Obadiah for everything. The man put up with so much and so selflessly too, telling Howard to focus on himself, Tony, he’d take care of the rest.

Obadiah was taking care of the search while Howard… he didn’t know what he was doing aside from resisting the urge to dip into that stash he had squirrelled away back when he hadn’t been totally sure if he was going to give up drinking. He didn’t know why he hadn’t just dumped it all but now he was mad he hadn’t because he’s been staring at that fucking desk drawer for the last hour and a half.

In the end he gets up and he dumps the alcohol down the sink before he does something stupid that he’d regret later, when Tony was back. God he hoped he came back and not in a body bag.

*

T’Challa decided it was a good plan to bring Tony along to one of their food raid things and he figured why not. It wasn’t like he had much else to do aside from bicker with Yinsen about proper god etiquette. He wanted to ask what Yinsen’s story was, how he had ended up here and why he didn’t seem to follow his own rules, or maybe he did before you know. The plague.

“Get your head out of the clouds, Tony, I need you to focus,” T’Challa says, brining Tony back to the present. Sam was happily chattering away to Bucky about Redwing and Tony could practically feel the poor guy’s boredom. How anyone could be bored with Redwing Tony had no idea, the machine was extremely impressive, even more so considering the environment in which it was created. Sam Wilson was an absolute genius and he was supremely underrated by his colleagues.

“Yeah yeah. What are we doing here anyways? How do these things work? And we’ve been driving for a while, you aren’t secretly going to kill me and dump my body are you? Because I can do without thanks,” Tony says, talking fast and cutting himself off before he babbles for too long. He wasn’t much fond of cars, not since his mother’s accident, and he felt far safer actually driving the car than being driven in one. It was one of the few things Howard hadn’t tried to curb or stop but that might be because he did the same thing, preferring to drive himself.

“You talk too much,” someone says from the back and Tony frowns, finding Wanda back there when he swore she wasn’t back there two seconds ago.

“You don’t talk enough,” he snarks back, earning one of those dangerous vibe-y glares from T’Challa that indicated he needed to shut up. He sulks but complies, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Tony if you don’t stop tapping your foot I will kill you,” Bucky says a few minutes later.

“Be my guest,” he says without missing a beat, earning another look from T’Challa, “what? I’m not hurting anyone,” he points out.

“You’re being annoying, we had a discussion about this,” he says, giving out more creepy calm vibes. This guy had a serious talent.

“Oh for gods sakes,” Wanda mumbles, half climbing over Sam and Bucky to poke her head in between Tony and T’Challa. She extends her hand and he catches a flash of red before he blinks a few times, anxiety… _gone_.

He stares at her for a moment, “the hell did you just do?” he asks. Wanda looks nervous, jittery, which made no sense because he’s pretty sure she just did something to his _mind_ and that was some weird shit.

“By the way Wanda can control minds,” Bucky says as if this was a perfectly normal and casual thing to say.

“Wait, you haven’t been like… in my head, right?” he asks because that was very pertinent information to him. If she knew- his anxiety was oddly detached from him at the moment so he felt nothing of the fear and panic he normally would and he was actually kind of grateful for that.

“I have better things to do than hang out in your head,” she says, rolling her eyes at him, forcing a calm persona.

“Great, because I spend about eighty percent of my time imagining Bucky naked and that might wear on your psyche after awhile,” he quips lightly, easily faking the uncaring asshole. He’s spent an entire lifetime in the persona and it was easy to slip back into it. Bucky chokes on air and T’Challa and Sam snicker.

“We have communal showers, Tony, no need to imagine,” Wanda says in a playful tone. Bucky makes another chocking noise, clearly unprepared for this.

“I’m not a creeper, Wanda. Also does anyone know if Steve has a shower schedule because I swear if I have to see his naked ass one more time I will scream,” he says. Bucky makes a loud squawking sound and that was how they ended up having a half hour discussion of Steve’s naked ass to freak Bucky out.

Tony happily handles the tech side of things, Sam assisting via Redwing; at least until he realizes his luck has come to a screeching halt. He’s tapping around on the computer in the office, erasing security feeds and all that lovey stuff that meant they weren’t about to get busted, when the damn alert goes off.

_BREAKING NEW: TONY STARK HAS BEEN MISSING SINCE-_

He cuts that shit the hell out before any televisions in anyone’s respective areas shows his fucking face or something. The downside was that he accidentally shuts power off as a whole, leaving everyone confused, “the hell was that?” Sam asks, voice filtering through Redwing.

“Uh, hit a button, sorry,” he says and he assumes that Sam filters that through to the rest of the team. He taps around on the computer to remove the fucking alert like permanently because he didn’t need this shit.

“You hit a button? And here I though you were Mr. Perfect,” Sam jokes, “can you get the power back on T’Challa is yelling.” Tony tries to imagine that but he can’t picture the surprisingly serene man even raising his voice let alone yelling. It does make for a hilarious mental image though.

“Everyone makes mistakes sweetie pie, but you might want to send Redwing to Bucky bee, he just tripped on a bag of potatoes. Again,” he says, watching Bucky on the night vision cameras cursing out the potatoes that were causing him so much trouble. Sam laughs and Redwing gives a few happy beeps before buzzing off to give Bucky some light while Tony fixed his shit.

It takes a few moments but he manages to ensure that that alert would stop going off permanently and not just in the store. The alerts to his being missing were out everywhere and they weren’t turning back on any time soon if he could help it. Actually he could, and did, so Howard could have fun fixing that bullshit and figuring out where the initial commands to turn off the alert system came from. He quickly gets the lights up and running because Bucky and Redwing looked like they were having an epic battle of Shine Light On The Potatoes You Fucking Useless Machine. Tony wished he had audio to go with the camera feeds.

“What was that alert?” Wanda asks him as they leave, carrying a large amount of stuff behind her via that strange red energy. Tony was still floored that she could _move shit with her mind_ as well as manipulate others’ minds. That would be some cool shit if it wasn’t for you know, unsanctioned government testing that completely fucked with the basic structures of Wanda’s DNA.

“No clue,” he lies, “but it didn’t turn back on so I’m assuming it wasn’t that important.”

Wanda squints at him, “that announcement said Tony Stark was missing, how could possibly deem that unimportant?” she asks, clearly confused.

“It didn’t turn back on when I turned the lights back on so I’m assuming someone just forgot to turn off the alert and when the system restarted it also updated the news out. I mean if he was still missing wouldn’t the alert have just kept playing where it left off? Besides, even if Stark really was missing do you really think he’d survive that long? We’d probably be hearing a death alert not a missing persons one. He probably just got drunk at a party or something,” he says. That was illegal, him drinking, but he didn’t think any of them knew that.

“Suppose you make a point there,” Sam says, directing Redwing around via arm pad. Tony wanted like seven. If he ever had to go back he’d hire Sam to help out with any and all tech ventures because the man was a genius and he was incredibly innovative. They could use guys like Sam. “Also you should all know that Redwing has been scrambling all the cameras around the store since Tony left the security office so you should thank him,” he says, directing Redwing lower so the bot could fly around at people height, “pet him,” Sam says as the bot stops right next to Bucky.

Bucky makes a face and side steps away and Tony is offended, really, so he steps closer to give the flying bot a few pats for doing such a good job. Sam tells him he is clearly a god, if only he knew.

They all pile back into the vehicle while T’Challa goes over the checklist and Bucky snickers, “oh my god, what if Tony was Tony Stark? I mean he is really good with Stark tech, and he is kind of a mystery that makes no sense, and he does have a lot of holes in his story and… wait are you Tony Stark?” Bucky asks, seemingly putting things together.

“Yeah, I’m totally Tony Stark,” he says, dead serious. They all sit there for a few moments silent before they all start laughing as if that was the funniest joke in the world.

“That’s hilarious. Obviously you couldn’t be Tony Stark, that’s ridiculous,” Bucky says, snickering.

“Oh man, but imagine if he was and we’ve been hanging out with a god for the last week and a bit. No offense man but you’d be the most boring god I’ve ever met,” Sam says, laughing.

“Excuse you I am a very thrilling person and I would be just as thrilling as a god,” he says, taking mock offense to the statement.

“Are not,” Wanda throws in, apparently feeling the need to also insult Tony.

“You guys are jerks,” he says with meaning.

“What did you guys do?” T’Challa asks, sounding very much like he was dealing with unruly children.

“Apparently I’d make a boring god,” Tony says in a tone he full well knew was whiny.

T’Challa rolls his eyes, “you might not be a boring god but you’d certainly make a terrible god given your inability to get along with people you dislike,” he says.

Well Tony can’t argue with that, “yeah you’re right, I don’t play well with others and have issues with authority.” Always has, probably always will.

It’s silent for a few seconds before Bucky speaks up, “is anyone going to point out the falseness of that statement when Tony has been following T’Challa’s authority and working just fine with us all night? Because I feel like the fact that that statement is all kinds of untrue despite Tony accepting it as the truth should be explored,” he says, proving a surprisingly insightful look into Tony’s own mismatched thought processes.

*

Howard is asleep at his desk when an alert wakes him up informing him that the alert on Tony’s disappearance has been called off. He almost gets angry but several more notifications come pouring in from, well, everyone telling him that this was not their doing and that they can’t seem to fix it. Curious, he looks into why the system is fucking up only to find a complex program trapping all combinations of Tony’s name combined with ‘missing’ and a half dozen other synonyms of the word. With that ban in place it wasn’t possible to put Tony’s disappearance anywhere but on paper.

That was more than a little odd so he starts unraveling the code, following it back to where it came from. The problem that that is came from everywhere, including his own damn computer. He shakes his head because only Tony would be able to pull something like this off given how intimate with the systems the person would have to be to create something like this, and that it was clearly created in a rush. Probably using a bunch of stuff Tony had already created at another time but hadn’t actually put into use. He’d ask JARVIS about it but the AI shut itself off as soon as it got news that Tony was missing and it has refused to turn back on.

He’d be pissed that the AI was loyal to Tony if it wasn’t so impressive that a complex code system held loyalty to anything at all. In the end he decides to shake his head and silently congratulate his son on his ability to stay alive and connected enough that he managed to shut down news of his own disappearance. He could read so much shitty things into that but he figures he’ll just take the good news that his kid wasn’t dead as good news, no matter the implications.

Obadiah comes by sometime after Howard has half worked out how to get past Tony’s defense systems. “What the hell is going on?” he asks in way of an actual greeting.

“Looks like the good news is that Tony’s alive, the bad news? He doesn’t want us to find him” he says and gives Obadiah a brief explanation of Tony’s trapping all news about his disappearance. Obadiah looks more irritated with that than he should considering it meant Tony was alive. If Howard didn’t know any better he’d wonder if Obadiah was pissed off that Tony was alive but he did know better so he must be annoyed with Tony’s not wanting to be found. That made two of them.

“Well you’re a genius, fix it,” Obi says is if this was that easy.

“I’m trying but- what the hell?” he asks as he watches his screen start doing things without any direction. For a moment he thinks someone has somehow managed to break into his systems but he catches a snatch of familiar code across the screen before more code buries it, keeping him even more locked out of Tony’s work than before. “JARVIS?” he asks, frowning.

“What the hell does Tony’s weird coping mechanism have to do with this?” Obadiah snaps, hovering over Howard’s shoulder in a way the man damn well knew Howard hated.

“I don’t think this was a weird coping mechanism. I think he made an autonomous AI system and essentially told us it was his imaginary friend so we’d stop asking questions,” Howard says, amazed as the AI started locking Howard out of any systems of Tony’s he had access to, presumably because he’d be able undo Tony’s work with Tony’s own processes.

“Technically, sir, I’m only semi autonomous,” the AI says over the speaker system, making Howard and Obadiah jump out of their skin. Well that explained why Tony never made an AI system of Maria when he had made one for Jarvis. The AI had a purpose that no one knew about until Tony was gone.

“You can fix this, right?” Obadiah asks as the AI starts shutting down specific parts of the mansion but most notable Tony’s workshop.

He shakes his head in wonder, “no, no I can’t. This is way more advanced than anything I even thought was possible.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Look, I get that this doesn’t look the most appetizing but work with me here, will ya?” Tony asks as he holds out a forkful of mystery food for Yinsen, who looks rightfully horrified.

“If you can identify that food I will consider eating it,” he says. Well shit, that meant Tony was fucked because there was no name to whatever the fuck this was.

“Carrots,” he retorts cheerfully, picking the first food that came to mind.

“Then why, pray tell, are those carrots nearly purple in color?” Yinsen asks and honestly he had a point there. This was some pretty frightening looking Frankenfood.

“S’not that bad,” the guy a couple beds over wheezes out, “kinds tastes like carrots actually.”

“See? Luis will eat it,” Tony says and raises an eyebrow.

“Well I am dying, not dead, I have standards and until _you_ eat that I want nothing to do with it,” Yinsen says primly. Tony figures fuck it, what’s the worst that could happen? He sticks the fork in his mouth and he tries very hard to stomach the food but he makes a sour face immediately.

“The fuck kind of carrots have you been eating, Luis?” he asks around the disgusting mouthful of… of whatever he has been trying to torture Yinsen with unintentionally.

“Did your _stupid_ ass just eat off a fork that was in a plague victim’s mouth?” Rhodey asks, walking over to smack Tony in the head, “get your dumb ass out of here and rinse your mouth with bleach or something. You better not die on me, I like you,” he says and there’s just an edge of panic to his voice though he’s doing a good job at hiding it.

“I’ll be _fine_ , I didn’t even feed Yinsen with it,” he says, desperately avoiding having to swallow the purplish mystery. He was about eighty percent sure he was going to throw up soon though so he gets up to follow Rhodey’s advice anyways.

“He fed Luis with that and if you have anything but that strange batch of… carrots for me to eat I would be eternally grateful to you,” he hears Yinsen say to Rhodey as he walks off to save his mouth from such a horrible fate.

*

If it wasn’t for Rhodey keeping a freakishly close eye on him he wouldn’t have even noticed his rise in temperature. It wasn’t like this wasn’t a normal thing for him, and unlike the others he was used to functioning despite a high fever. Tony doesn’t even clue in at first because this was normal for his body and he was overly used to the process, Rhodey, however, assumed he was dying.

“I am not dying, where the hell would you even get that?” he asks, distracted by a lamp he was attempting to fix. The stupid thing kept flickering horror movie style and it was giving everyone who spent any time near the thing headaches.

“Oh gee, I don’t know, maybe the fact that you went and ate off a plague victim’s fork, that’s a tad deadly,” Rhodey says. He has his hands firmly planted on his hips and Tony is strangely reminded of his mother. That was something that happened very rarely considering she died when he was so young but she used to give him the damn disapproving look when he went and did stuff he shouldn’t. Like break into Howard’s lab _again_.

He sighs deeply, “I don’t have the plague, Rhodey, I’m just warm because I’ve been sitting under this hot ass light for the last hour,” he says, pointing up to the uncovered bulb above his head. If this lamp would cooperate he would have had it fixed in les than five minutes but some dipshit modeled the thing horribly so Tony has spent the last hour trying to get into the base. So far his luck had been minimal but he was working on it.

“You better be hot because of that light. How’s the lamp going?” Rhodey asks, dropping into a chair beside him. Thankfully he lets the subject and the two end up prying the lamp apart so they could fix the damn thing. Rhodey doesn’t stop watching Tony like a hawk though, which makes things a little weird but Tony leaves it.

*

It isn’t until later, once the fever gets worse, that he realizes that Rhodey’s observations weren’t… _wrong_ exactly, but they weren’t right either. He was supposed to go on that date with Bucky but by the time the sun starts to set his energy levels had hit the ground. Honestly considering he’s been doing this since he was a young teen you’d think he’d pick up on symptoms of his heat but god knew he never noticed until he was ready to keel over from over exertion. He was supposed to take it easy when the symptoms started to show, which he would like to say was people over worrying except it wasn’t. Heats took a lot out of omegas and as it was his diet was nowhere near as good as it was before so he was bound to react worse to the biological function than normal.

He flings himself onto the small cot that had recently become his home in what he was certain was a broom closet. That didn’t matter to him, he was just happy to not have to deal with Sunday worship in all honesty. He lays there for a solid ten minutes before he remembers the pills he had managed to swindle out of the redhead, which really only proved how out of it he was. It takes him a moment to locate his backpack under his bed but he finds it, and the pills, and manages to take one and stuff it back under his bed just in time.

Bucky sticks his head in the door; probably assuming since the door was open that was fine. Tony had forgotten to shut it in his haste to pass the fuck out though so it was less of an invitation but he couldn’t really blame Bucky for the mistake. Also he was ready to pass the hell out so he didn’t much have the energy to respond anyways. “Tony?” Bucky asks, shuffling closer. Tony’s pretty sure he makes a noise in response but his mind was a little hazy and he wanted to sleep, not do the communication thing. Communication sucked, it took work, and effort. Sleep took none of that. “Tony are you okay?” Bucky asks, sounding worried.

Tony promptly falls asleep without answering.

*

When he wakes up some time later Steve is standing over his bed glaring at him like a massive creeper. Like literally on the ‘big’ part, the guy was unreasonably large and imposing. “You better not be dying, Bucky is distraught,” he snarls at him.

Tony frowns and shuffles himself into a sitting position, “what the fuck? I took a nap and you guys thought I _died_? That’s a bit dramatic,” he points out. Damn, all he wanted was to sleep for a bit and considering how little he slept it was probably a good thing.

Steve looks confused for a moment before he goes back to being annoyed at Tony’s general existence. “You’re running a fever so high you should be dead,” Steve says and he almost looks disappointed that Tony _hadn’t_ dropped dead. O _kay_ then.

“I have a cold,” he says bluntly. That pill he took must be working its magic because he actually had energy again and he didn’t feel as hot and sticky as he normally would at this point. Heats drove him nuts because it was a week of having either a ton of energy or none at all and that did exactly no one any favors but especially him. Plus people did their damndest to banish him to his bed for a _week_ as if that wasn’t a fucking eternity and a half.

“No you don’t, your stupid ass gave yourself the plague,” Steve says.

“First off I don’t really like your attitude, second, get out of my way I need to pee,” he says as he drags himself into more of a sitting position.

“Oh no, you aren’t going anywhere because you have the plague,” Steve says in far too chipper a tone.

“Fuck you, I am going pee because there is no way I can manage to contaminate this already plague infested makeshift hospital with more plague. That, and against all odds this building has indoor plumbing and I am taking advantage so unless you want me to piss on your feet, move.” He’d do it too, this one teacher in grade school wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom once and he almost pissed in that guy’s closet. He had no shame. That had actually been one of the very few times that Howard had stood up for him actually. He had told the teacher that telling children they can’t perform bodily functions when they needed to go was an infringement of human rights. It wasn’t like he was wrong though Tony was more than a little surprised when Howard said he’d piss in that teacher’s closet if he had no where else to go too. That was a win in his books.

Steve opens his mouth to respond in what was sure to be a condescending tone but T’Challa shows up to chew him out first. “What is going on?” he asks in a tired tone, looking between the two with an annoyed expression on his face.

“He won’t let me pee,” Tony says in a petulant tone.

“He threatened to pee on me feet!” Steve says, crossing his arms and glaring at Tony.

T’Challa sighs deeply and rubs his temples, “the pair of you are children. Steve, let the man use the bathroom, preferably the _actual_ bathroom, Tony.”

“He started it,” Tony mumbles, shuffling out of bed as Steve backs off a little.

“ _You_ started it,” Steve snaps back, unimpressed with Tony’s conclusions.

“Enough. I have better things to do that deal with adults choosing to be immature over a petty rivalry for Bucky Barnes’ affections,” T’Challa tells them, giving them both a stern look. “And Tony, you look… better.”

“I’m one hundred percent fine with being a child,” he quips lightly, changing his tune a bit when T’Challa does that creepy vibe thing, “okay fine I’ll behave. And I was fine before, I was just tired and I have a cold not the damn plague. Honestly I think it so dramatic that I took a nap and you all assumed I was dying so no one gets to call me dramatic ever again.” He wasn’t even that dramatic anyways.

T’Challa doesn’t look even remotely convinced and neither does Steve but they don’t refute him and thankfully he was released so he could fuck pee. He doesn’t expect to run into Bucky on his way back out of the bathroom though it was a pleasant surprise. “Are you feeling okay?” he asks, wide eyed.

“I’m fine, I was just tired. I don’t sleep well, you all know that. It catches up with me sometimes is all,” he says gently because he actually had patience for Bucky. Well, and T’Challa, Rhodey, and Sam, and… anyone who wasn’t Steve actually. It wasn’t his fault Steve was dead set on proving he was a fraud who was secretly planning to screw them all over and frankly he was only right about that first bit. And, _technically_ speaking, he hasn’t lied at all he just neglected to mention his last name and shocked everyone with his insistence that omegas are not gods. Clint had actually agreed with that and he had been shocked because so far all he’s seen out of Clint and Coulson were occasional bicker matches. They had had an interesting conversation and Tony resolved to talk to the guy again.

Bucky still looks worried but thankfully he doesn’t press it because Tony didn’t really want to hear it. He never had much patience around his heats, probably a learned reaction from people trying to baby him so much. “Well,” Bucky says, shuffling awkwardly, “I ugh… I figured you probably weren’t feeling that great so instead of what I had planned I have chips.” He holds the bad up and Tony can feel his eyes triple in size, which had to be comical from Bucky’s point of view.

“I think I love you,” Tony says in far too serious of a tone. It’s been for _ever_ since he’s had chips though, the only time he was ever allowed to eat them was when Pepper smuggled them in. he wasn’t allowed to eat foods that were unhealthy for him, which meant he ate as many unhealthy foods as he could get away with naturally. He’d sell his own father for anything chocolate related. Bucky blushes at the comment and if that wasn’t the cutest thing ever. “Come on, Bucky bee, let’s go eat those chips. Also where did you get those chips?” He hadn’t seen any around because he probably would have sacrificed his last bit of toilet paper for them. At least they managed to find good toilet paper so he didn’t have to worry about sandpapering his ass with one ply.

Bucky makes a face at his new nickname, “can we please let that die?” he asks, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

“But _Bucky bee_ ,” Tony says with emphasis. It was so cute; he had no idea why Bucky didn’t like it.

“Steve has started calling me Bucky bee, it kills the romance a little when your surrogate father calls you Bucky bee,” Bucky points out. Which, rude, Tony made it up it’s his nickname!

“But I made it up, it for _me_!” he says, hand pressed to his heart in mock offense.

“It sucked to begin with but Steve killed it, which was probably the point. No more Bucky bee, Bucky bee is not happening,” Bucky tell him bluntly.

“Bucky boo?”

“Absolutely fucking not.”

“Bucky babe?”

“Getting better.”

*

It turned out Bucky stole the chips from T’Challa, who stole them from Sam, who stole them from Coulson, who stole them from Clint, who stole them from some guy at a bar, who stole them from a store. He didn’t really give a damn because they tasted glorious. “You smell really good, which doesn’t make sense because you’re still running a fever which means you should be kind of sweaty,” Bucky says, sniffing at him.

“You’re weird, I smell normal. Actually I kind of smell bad and I need a shower,” he says, sniffing at himself. He actually couldn’t smell anything outside of his own normal sweat smell, probably thanks to those lovely miracle pills that redhead got scammed out of. Alphas were susceptible to the scent though so perhaps that was why Bucky was smelling scents that weren’t there.

“No, you smell great. Do you always smell like this? If you have I am upset that I’ve been missing out,” he says almost sadly.

Tony wrinkles his nose, “I do not smell great I smell like plague infested hospital and that smells like… pretty much what’s on the tin honestly.” Generally like a mix of death, desperation, and weird canned foods.

“You are feeling better right? Because you got really feverish and suddenly lost a bunch of energy and then slept for a weirdly long time for you so are you sure you’re fine?” Bucky asks, no doubt worried.

He smiles just a bit, “I’m fine, I was just tired and I have a cold or something. I’ll be alright,” he says.

“Okay but like you kind of looked like you had the plague there for bit and then you wake up fine? Seems kind of weird,” Bucky says and he had a point at least.

“I just overworked myself, I don’t have the plague but thank you for worrying,” he says. He was probably never going to live this down and if he didn’t he was so calling Bucky Bucky bee for life. It was _his_ nickname anyways, Steve just highjacked like a total asshole.

Bucky still looks worried but he at least leaves it for now, “this is a terrible date,” he says after a few moments of silence.

“It was not, I think eating contraband chips together is great,” Tony says, grinning, “but this the only date I’ve been on so what do I know?” This wouldn’t be the first courtship he’s dealt with but this was different, he actually wanted to be here, wanted this relationship. He hadn’t wanted any of it before because it hadn’t been his choice, not really, even if people liked to claim it was.

“Really?” Bucky asks in surprise, “that can’t be true you’re so… attractive,” he blurts.

He shrugs, “never really had the chance honestly and when I had the time I didn’t really want a relationship anyways. But you’re different I guess, I actually like you,” he says. He never had an interest in anyone else before because they hadn’t had an interest in him, not really, not outside of his political purposes and he hadn’t wanted that. All he had wanted was a relationship where someone knew him as _him_ , not what everyone else labeled him.

Bucky ducks his head a little, “oh. Thank you,” he says quietly.

Tony shrugs, “no problem, I can’t help that you’re the only interesting person I’ve met that I also wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with.” This was the only time he’s ever had to explore being in a relationship with someone who actually knew him and he liked it. He liked exploring friendships too, because Rhodey was great and it was so nice to have someone outside of Pepper. He loved Pepper but she wasn’t here and he needed someone else to socialize with. Shit, he probably needed someone to socialize with before but everyone else saw Tony the God, not Tony the Person and it hadn’t made the best environment for friend making.

“Well that makes me so much better, honestly. I thought… I don’t know, for some reason I thought you’d be like super experienced with all this stuff and I’m… not,” Bucky says. Yeah, so Tony had gathered not that he thought that was a bad thing. Bucky’s fumbling was actually kind of endearing.

“I not experienced in any of this, I’m just better at bullshitting than you,” he says, shrugging.

“You’re telling me. I wish I was half as confident as you, you make everything look so easy, effortless. Clint goes on and of about how competence is attractive but honestly I thought he was lying until I met you, just everything about the way you carry yourself, how sure of yourself you are. That’s actually pretty hot,” Bucky admits.

Tony starts laughing because he’s been fucking winging it for the entire three weeks he’s been here and that was hilarious. “Oh Bucky, I’m not competent, I’m just really good at faking it. I don’t even know what I’m doing most of the time but I’m glad fake confidence is attractive. Your metal arm is attractive,” he says. He probably shouldn’t think that but it was not his fault he was weirdly attracted to tech, apparently sexually attracted if it was on a person. That was probably a psych problem he should have checked out but it wasn’t doing any harm so he’d leave it for the time being.

Bucky looks down at said body part, “actually I’m not that fond but that might be because the other one got cut off and I kind of liked the original,” he says in a weirdly serious tone. It was insensitive to laugh, Tony tells himself, because that was very sad. But the _tone_ Bucky used and the look on his face, like he was only mildly irritated with the loss of an entire arm was just too funny. He still manages to keep himself under control because he wasn’t a _total_ douchebag. “You can laugh at that,” Bucky says, probably reading Tony’s mind or something. You know, since he knew that was a _thing_ now.

“Thank god,” he says and bursts out laughing, “your _face_ when you said that though.” It takes a second but Bucky starts laughing too.

“What? Its natural to like my actual arm better, but I guess it can’t punch through walls so that makes it inferior.” He wiggles his fingers a bit and they snicker.

“Also that one’s more attractive,” Tony says because it was the _truth_ okay?

“Really?” Bucky asks.

“Yeah really. That’s straight up weird as fuck but hey, Sam’s practically married to Redwing so I’m not the only one,” he says. He was fairly certain if Sam could kiss Redwing on actual lips he would but instead he works on perfecting the little bot.

Bucky grins and throws an arm around Tony but not the metal one unfortunately, pulling him in close. “You smell like happiness,” he says into Tony’s hair.

“Happiness smells like shit,” he says back, curling into Bucky’s side. Bucky inhales deeply and he starts laughing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than usual! I had a lot of school work pile up so clearly that had to get done lol. Also I have been slightly sleep deprived so if there are any spelling/ grammar errors forgive me, I'll do a sweeping edit later. For now I figured I'd update :)

Tony was overexerting himself and he knew it but it would be suspicious if he suddenly didn’t have the energy to do anything when he seemed to have an over abundance of energy before. It was weird how all he had wanted when he had been at home was to be allowed to work while in heat and now he kind of wanted to die. That ‘grass is greener’ argument seemed applicable here though he’d never admit it out loud. “You look ready to drop dead man, maybe you should relax a little,” Rhodey says, eyeing him wearily.

He drops his head on the table, neglecting the busted radio in front of him in favor of concentrating on not dying. “I feel like I’m ready to drop dead,” he mumbles, shuddering a little. Those lovely pills that redhead had given him worked wonders on covering his scent but they did dick all to make him feel human again. If he knew what the formula was he’d try to improve it. He knew some things about pharmaceuticals from Jane, who spent time working with… someone important. He hadn’t been paying much attention when he probably should have been.

“That isn’t funny man, are you okay?” Rhodey asks. He gently places his hand on Tony’s back and rubs small circles and Tony means to answer Rhodey, really, but instead he falls asleep.

When he wakes up he’s on his prison cot and for a moment it throws him for a loop before he clues in to the fact that he likely got carried here. He rubs his eyes and makes a loud whining noise because he was an actual five year old in the body of an adult. It felt like he had slept for fifty years in the same uncomfortable position and his bones had solidified in said position. He groans as he stretches, his bones cracking as he moved. That felt _so much_ better.

“Hey,” Rhodey says softly from the doorway, probably having noticed his waking up from all the bone popping, “I have soup.” He holds up said bowl of steaming liquid and Tony barely restrains himself from groaning because he was back in the sick role and he wanted nothing to do with it.

“Oh come on man, don’t treat me like I’m sick,” he says, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

“Fine, I’ll just take this delicious soup and go,” Rhodey says, turning to leave but Tony calls him back.

“Hey, no, I want the soup but if you could leave the pity at the door I’d be eternally grateful.” The last thing he wanted was for Rhodey to pity him, or Bucky for that matter. He hated being babied and cared for, he could do that his damn self, thanks.

“Fine. But you _are_ sick and denying it isn’t doing anyone any favors, just stay in bed for a few days until you’re better,” Rhodey says but he’s got this look on his face like he thinks Tony isn’t going to _get_ better.

Tony groans and flips over on his bed, stuffing his face into his pillow, “nooooooooo,” he whines, his protest muffled by the pillow in front of his face. He understood Rhodey’s worry, really, but he was unlikely to die from the plague, particularly not right now given how hostile an environment his body was for the virus at the moment. Though until he got here he had no idea how many symptoms of heats also doubled as symptoms of the plague so he could see why Rhodey would be worried without the knowledge of his being an omega.

“Alright, alright, you can whine and cry later about your not wanting to be sick but right now soup,” Rhodey says, prodding Tony gently. Reluctantly Tony rolls over and sits up, realizing how exhausted he was in the process. “You look like _shit_ man, are you sure you’re okay?” Rhodey asks, concerned.

“I’m okay, I’m just tired,” he says. It wasn’t like he was lying; he really was tired as hell and as soon as he ate that soup he was passing out again. He pushed himself too hard, which was weird considering he was normally able to keep up his normal habits heat or no. Granted his diet was usually a lot better and he usually didn’t expend this much energy at any given time so maybe it was all catching up with him via a heat from hell.

Rhodey doesn’t look like he believes him but he hands the soup over and changes the subject. Tony’s thankful for that because he had no desire to dwell on his current health status, even if it wasn’t what Rhodey thought.

*

He’s certain that Rhodey thinks he’s asleep and to be fair he mostly was. He still feels it when Rhodey runs his fingers through his hair though, “please be okay,” he says softly. Tony wants to tell Rhodey he’ll be fine but he’s too tired and he slips off to sleep instead.

*

When he wakes up again he’s fully energized, which is a real piss off because he’s been banished to his bed until further notice with Sam as his jailor. “Look man, just accept that you need rest and chill out a little. Even Steve feels bad for you,” Sam says and they both knew that was a bald faced lie.

“Steve doesn’t give a damn about me, he’s sad my being sick makes Bucky sad, he’s probably glad that you all seem to think I’m about to die off. Which I’m not, to be clear, so please let me do something. Seriously, I’ll go nuts.” It wasn’t much of an exaggeration; he hated staying still and doing nothing. His mind was always running at high speeds and without anything to tinker with, draw on, or otherwise transfer that energy _out_ he got antsy and fidgeted like crazy. That used to drive his teachers nuts before they figured out that Tony was capable of absorbing all class information even when he appeared to be completely absorbed in another task. He had more than one asshole teacher call on him thinking he wouldn’t have the answer only to be shown up when Tony knew more on the subject than them. Take that, assholes.

“I get it, I do, but you need to lay down and rest a little to recover. And yeah, I mean I’d like to say that Steve actually cares about whether you die or not but he has a weird vendetta against you so he probably doesn’t. Sorry,” Sam says, not sounding sorry at all.

“First of all I have spend the majority of the last two days in bed, I’m _fine_. And two, you could at least _pretend_ to care that Steve hates me, you totally hurt my feelings. All two of them. Steve’s vendetta isn’t all that odd though, a bit out of proportion maybe, but reasonable. I mean some guy shows up and he’s got a shady backstory, a lot of knowledge he shouldn’t have, and everyone likes him, including the guy Steve considers his kid. If I were him I wouldn’t like me either, I’m too good to be true and in this environment too good to be true means something shitty is probably going to come out of it. He’s only trying to do what’s best for his family, I get that,” Tony says. That didn’t mean he had to like it though, Steve was an ass, but he was right.

Tony _was_ purposefully keeping details from them; he _was_ lying about his identity if only by omission, and he didn’t intend to fill them in on the details either. Steve might be a raging asshole but Tony couldn’t really blame the guy for coming to all the right conclusions, or for wanting to protect his family. If Tony had a group of people like this he’d want them safe too, but for now he was happy to masquerade here for a while until his luck ran out and he had to move on.

Sam raises an eyebrow, “see, and this is why we all think Steve is being ridiculous. I mean yeah, things aren’t adding up with you but things don’t add up with any of the rest of us either. Bucky can’t even remember the large majority of his life, we don’t even know _where_ T’Challa came from, he just showed up one day and refused to be kicked out. No one even knows what’s up with Clint and Coulson, just that sometimes they’re here and sometimes they aren’t but they bring food so we don’t complain. You’re only doing what the rest of us do so I mean I get Steve’s suspicion but we aren’t in a position to turn down your help and skills,” Sam says, sounding like this wasn’t the first time he’s argued this. He knew full well Rhodey has made similar arguments, and T’Challa. Bucky probably threw his own opinions too but Tony didn’t hear much about them.

He shrugs, “I’ve done too much too soon, I’ve done a pretty good job at making myself damn near necessary to your lives, established quick connections. Steve probably thinks I’m a time bomb waiting to go off because nothing gets this good here, when you’re used to everything going to shit you don’t exactly tend to take good things at face value.” That was at least something Tony could relate to because he was sort of expecting this to go badly too. It wasn’t like his luck with family was all that great, everyone who has loved him has either died, abused him, or he left them in Pepper’s case. Things were already starting to go sideways, it was only a matter or time before he was going to have to do this all over again and he didn’t look forward to it at all.

“I swear I just walked into a weird alternate universe because I was like eighty percent sure you hated Steve. The last thing I expected was for you to defend the guy,” Sam says, frowning.

“You aren’t wrong, I don’t like Steve. Like at all. He’s a sanctimonious prick with a chip on his shoulder a mile wide but that doesn’t mean I don’t get why, even if I want to punch his perfect teeth more often than not.” If it wasn’t likely that he’d bust his fist on Steve’s face he might have tried it by now but even Tony knew that sometimes it was best not to test your limits.

“You threatened to piss on his feet,” Sam says, deadpan.

“And given half the chance I’d piss on his head, but disliking someone and not understanding their motivations are two different things. And understanding motivations doesn’t mean I like the results, or agree with them. The guy clearly has it out for me for no other reason than not liking that Bucky and I have a relationship he doesn’t approve of. You’d think he’d be happy that Bucky found a slice of happiness in this hell hole, however small or temporary that might be but hey, to each their own,” he mumbles. “But I get it, Bucky’s his only slice of happiness in this shit and he doesn’t want me to ruin it because then I’ll ruin what he has too. Its selfish as fuck but understandable.”

That, and Steve truly believed that he was doing what was best for Bucky by doing everything in his power to make his decisions for him, and for some reason Bucky let him. Tony could never do that, ran away from an entire life of that he hated it so much. When living your life out in a makeshift hospital full of dying people was actually _better_ than your old life there was a problem, especially when you lived in the lap of luxury. He doubted many people would agree with him but he also doubted that those people have ever had to be a god.

It was exhausting, playing the caricature of people’s hopes and dreams when those people had no thought of Tony’s own hopes and dreams. People didn’t care about him, people only cared that he was there to act as their symbol of hope. But what good was being a symbol of hope when you had no hope yourself? What good was a god that didn’t believe in himself? It seemed blasphemous to let people believe in something that didn’t exist, and cruel. He refused to live in a box of other people’s wishes, expectations. He was through living a life that required him to give up his everything for everyone else. There was a quote he read once, Lily Paradis if he remembered right, ‘I won’t set myself on fire to keep you warm’. He felt that a bone-deep level so Bucky’s willingness to let Steve control his life at the cost of his happiness was lost on him.

The happiness of one person should not come at the cost of another’s.

*

“Bucky, I understand that for whatever reason you have a thing for Tony but please be careful. Something is off with him, I know it,” Steve says and he looks _so worried_. Bucky almost feels guilty for wanting to tell him to fuck off; he could make his own decisions.

But he was tired of Steve trying to make decisions for him. He understood that Steve was only doing what he thought was best for him but this _wasn’t_ in his best interest; it was in _Steve’s_ best interest. This warning wasn’t to help Bucky, it was to give Steve his own piece of mind and that was why Bucky chose to shake his head in disagreement. “No, I’m not going to be careful, I’m going to do what I want and if that blows up in my face than that’s my problem and I’ll deal with it then,” he says. His voice is strong and clear and that surprises him. He spent a long time either not speaking at all or speaking so low people didn’t listen anyways. This was surprisingly liberating.

Steve sighs deeply, “is this some sort of… latent teenage rebellion because I don’t really appreciate it,” he says. He looks pinched, uncomfortable, and Bucky doesn’t feel bad about that at all because he just got compared to a _teenager_ for exercising agency he was damn well entitled to.

“Well I don’t really appreciate you deciding that you know what’s best for me better than I do, and to add insult to injury you don’t even bother to _ask_ me what I think. You just assume you know everything and I am so tired of that,” he snaps angrily. It takes him by surprise, the anger, because he hadn’t thought he had any, not towards Steve, not when he owed the man everything. Apparently he was wrong.

“I have more experience than you, I’m just trying to save you the heartache,” Steve says gently. Bucky clenches his jaw because Steve did this every fucking time he tried to step out of line, making him feel guilty for trying to make his own choices. It wasn’t on purpose, Steve would never do that on purpose, but it didn’t make Bucky feel any less like shit.

“Why? Experience comes from failure, you’ve told me that, so why am I not allowed to fail?” he asks. Or succeed but he leaves that out.

“You are, I just don’t think Tony is a good person and this is going to end badly,” Steve says. He’s still using that fucking soothing tone and Bucky wants to punch him for it, punch him for caring so damn much he didn’t even _see_ that that he was doing more harm than good.

“Well you don’t get to decide what’s good for me more than I do, your ideas on what I should do are not more important than my own,” he says forcefully. He hadn’t even _thought_ of any of this until Tony showed up. That time he refused to work on Bucky’s arm, it made him think a lot about how people just assumed he’d do whatever, that no one ever asked. Steve did it _all the time_ , assuming Bucky would just follow orders, making him feel guilty when he didn’t, ignoring any protests Bucky did make because he knew better. He knew Steve wasn’t trying to do any of that but Tony was right, Bucky should expect better than that so he decided he was going to try and get better. Steve was capable of it; Bucky knew he was, he was just pretty sure Steve didn’t know where he was going wrong. Or if he even thought he was going wrong at all.

“Bucky, I’m not trying to do that, I know you can make your own decisions. Its Tony I don’t trust,” he says and Bucky makes an irritated noise.

“Fuck you for that. Don’t you dare throw that bullshit argument at me, acting like you actually give a damn about what I think about my own damn life. If you really trusted me, really thought I was capable of making my own informed decisions than Tony’s behavior wouldn’t matter. If you even trusted yourself enough to have taught me well than you would have enough faith that I could see if Tony was… whatever you think he is. You know for someone who’s all about freedom and choice you’d think you wouldn’t be so intent on taking mine away,” he snaps, irritated with this conversation.

_I trust you not him_. Fuck that argument. It was such bullshit and Steve knew it too, knew full well that he didn’t trust Bucky at all. Steve recoils from Bucky’s harsh words though; looking hurt and that only pissed Bucky off more because what gave him the right? “I… I don’t want to take your choices away from you,” he says. He sounds as hurt as he looks but Bucky can’t muster pity for him when he did this to himself.

“Yes you do, you do it all the time! You either tell me what to do and expect me to just follow blindly, or you decide you know what’s best for me without even talking to me, and you ignore me when I point it out. And then you act like you’re all righteous and shit, sounding all calm and gentle to make me feel guilty so you can shame me into doing what you wanted me to do anyways. I’m so fucking sick of it,” he yells, throwing his hands up.

Steve looks about ready to throw up and yeah, Bucky too, he’s already dealt with people trying to control his life, his every move, he didn’t need any more of that. Fuck, he was so used to it when Tony actually gave him space to say no he had been _so_ shocked. He shouldn’t feel that way, he should be able make his own decisions, good or bad. As long as no one else got hurt, of course.

“I… I… when have I done that?” he asks but at least he asks in a tone that suggests he knew the behavior had happened so Bucky forgives that stupidity.

“You’re literally doing it right now! Telling me that Tony is somehow bad for me and maybe you’re right, but I don’t see it and I think I should be able to decide whether or not I want to have anything to do with Tony, not you. And then you throw some shit argument at me about only wanting what’s best for me, and not wanting to see me get hurt and whatever. It makes me feel guilty for not listening to you so I do what you say anyways, makes me feel guilty for even doubting you to begin with. Its… its…-” he trails off because he isn’t sure how to describe it, not in words.

“Gaslighting,” Steve says, looking a bit green.

“Yeah, sure, whatever that is. I’m sick of it, all I want is to make my own damn choices and for you to stay out of it. If I want your advice I’ll ask for it but I am so done with you thinking you know better than I do when it comes to my own life. I know you don’t really mean it and that you care, but I need to make my own choices,” Bucky says softly. Steve doesn’t respond, he just stares at the ground in horror so Bucky leaves him to think. He wanted to go talk to Tony anyways.


	8. Chapter 8

Bucky finds Tony in his room trying to battle it out with Sam for his freedom. Sam looks tired and given the level of determination on Tony’s face it didn’t look like Tony was about to give up on his being allowed to roam any time soon. “He’s your problem now,” Sam says as soon as he spots him. He then proceeds to flee the scene before Bucky could protest being in charge of jailing Tony duty.

“Really?” he asks Tony, who doesn’t look the slightest bit guilty for wearing Sam down.

“Yes really, I see no reason for my imprisonment,” he says, chin tilted up in defiance. Bucky laughs and shakes his head in wonder. Tony was in a near constant state of defying authority and Bucky didn’t know how Tony did it. He had never been afforded the opportunity to defy authority and when he did have an opportunity to say no he was told that was wrong too, if unintentionally. As a result he had learned to just do what he was told because things would go smoother that way and he wouldn’t get hurt. Tony had been one hell of a shock because he only listened half the time and he didn’t seem to receive any backlash for it.

It was hard, sometimes, to remember that he wasn’t with his previous handlers and that no one here would hurt him like they did. He didn’t have the courage to just ignore direct orders like Tony did though, unless it was T’Challa handing them out. He rarely defied an order he got from T’Challa though Bucky suspected that was only out of agreeing with his decisions and a healthy respect for the man. Tony didn’t seem intent on listening to most of the others and that was so _new_ to Bucky. Of course the others also chose not to follow orders sometimes too, but none as often as Tony. Hell, if Steve opened his mouth Tony was already refusing to pay attention. Bucky wasn’t sure he blamed him for that given Steve’s equal lack of respect towards him.

He grins at Tony though because his presence was so refreshing and it made the day-to-day life around here suck a lot less. “Bit dramatic, don’t you think?” he asks, snickering at Tony’s melodrama.

“No, I feel like I should be free to roam around but everyone else thinks I should waste away in bed,” he says, keeping up with the dramatics.

Bucky laughs, “well come on then, follow me,” he says and for a moment Tony looks surprised. Bucky too, to be honest, he would have figured that if Tony didn’t want to be somewhere he’d just walk out but he hadn’t. He’d ask about that later. In the meantime Tony follows along beside him, chattering away about Sam being a pain in his ass. Yeah, Bucky too, Sam had a weird paternal streak that showed up sometimes when Bucky was feeling particularly bad. He never said anything about it but he was certain Sam had some experience with brainwashing, he knew too much about the subject to not have some sort of experience with it.

The garden space, if one used that term very loosely, was terrible really, but it served as a nice space to get away a little. It was overgrown enough that if you didn’t look too closely you could almost pretend that you were somewhere else, another world maybe. Anywhere but here. Tony looks around the space curiously, easily categorizing everything in the space. Bucky wished he could do that, take things in as easily as Tony could. It wasn’t that he couldn’t do that; he had more than enough conditioning to make sure that was a skill he had, but it didn’t come naturally the way it did to Tony. Tony’s ability to take things in also came from a place of deep curiosity and Bucky wanted to know _so_ much more about that, about what made Tony function. He had never been curious about people before, always more content to live in his own mind so Tony has taken him by surprise.

“This is… honestly it’s shit,” he says, lips tilting up a bit.

“Ungrateful heathen,” Bucky accuses, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

“Guilty as charged,” Tony chirps back, grinning wide. He has nice teeth, Bucky notes, which is sort of odd given the general landscape but Tony had weirdly good luck, like his ability to somehow always locate two-ply toilet paper.

“Asshole. Come on,” he says, gently pulling Tony along to the middle of the clearing. It was pretty clear that he spent a lot of time there given that there was a Bucky-sized dent in the middle of the grass. That’s the spot he goes back to, just like always, and he throws himself on the ground and gesturing for Tony to follow.

Tony gives him a skeptical look, “if I get a spider on me I will not be happy,” he says but he gingerly lowers himself to the ground.

“I’m sure the spiders will stay plenty away from you, they have taste,” Bucky says, earning a playful swat from Tony, “what? S’not fault it’s true.”

“Jerk,” Tony mumbles but he shimmies a bit closer so he clearly isn’t all that upset. They lay there for a moment before Bucky gathers enough courage to wrap his arm around Tony, slowly though so he has time to move away if he wanted to. He doesn’t, instead he shuffles closer, placing his head on Bucky’s shoulder and curling into his side.

Tony still smells oddly good, sort of like lemon grass and… home. That was all Bucky had for the scent that made little sense to him because he’s never had a home, not really, so how something could smell like home he had no idea. “I take back my previous assessment,” Tony says quietly, “if you ignore the weeds this is kind of… kind of like we’re on another world.”

Bucky looks up at the sky, at the colors the sunset was making, the way the reds, pinks, and purples reflected off the still white clouds. He could see the greens of the overgrown plants in his peripheral vision and it made a pretty image, the contrast of colors against one another. This was why he liked the spot so much, because no matter what the weather was like it always felt like he was getting a small glimpse of something else, somewhere else. Maybe somewhere that wasn’t so bad, where people lived longer. “That’s kind of the point,” he says, “to go somewhere else, be somewhere else. Somewhere you don’t have to worry about being a person you know, somewhere you can just _be_. Am I making any sense?” he asks because he honestly didn’t know.

“Yeah, baby, you make perfect sense,” Tony whispers and Bucky feels the tension run out of his body. He hadn’t even known it was there.

*

“I don’t like you,” Steve says, glaring Tony down.

Tony rolls his eyes, “good for you. The feeling is mutual at least.” What an asshole, Tony had better things to do than deal with Steve Roger’s massive ego. Like deal with his own massive ego.

“God, can you resist being an asshole for five minutes?” Steve asks, looking largely disgusted and _excuse_ him.

“Buddy, you walk in here, glare me down, and proclaim your dislike for me. Where the hell in that was I supposed to gather enough respect to respond in a civil fashion? And frankly I think that I _did_ respond in a civil fashion, thanks. Believe me, I have a lot more to say about you than telling you that I don’t like you.” Like that he thought he was a shit parent, that he reminded Tony of Howard only more righteous and that rubbed him in all the wrong ways. He could always tell Steve that his leadership skills were questionable at best when he was hardly willing to look past his own world views, that T’Challa blew him so far out of the water that he should just quit while he was ahead. Or he could tell Steve that he had some fucking nerve calling Tony arrogant, rude, or whatever unsavory term he spat out this time when every single insult described Steve equally well but only Tony was able to admit to being a raging asshole.

He owned it, might as well; it wasn’t like it was false.

Steve opens his mouth to respond, likely to come up with some snarky ass response, which was another one of the three traits Tony admired about him, but he seems to think better of it. “Yeah, Sam told me plenty about what you had to say. I don’t see why you didn’t tell me about all of your supposed understanding before,” he says in a judge-y tone. Yeah, that was exactly why but okay.

“And would you have believed me if I had? Or would you have made up some shit about me trying to win you over for my own nefarious purposes or something? Because my bet is on the latter. Even if it wasn’t I don’t like you, I don’t really make a habit of telling people I don’t like that they have qualities I admire,” he says sharply.

“That’s so immature,” Steve mumbles, rolling his eyes and Tony isn’t sure why that’s the last straw, it just is and he looses it.

“No, it isn’t fucking immature to keep shit to yourself when you know damn well the person your giving the information to is going to twist it to suit their own needs. You wouldn’t have heard me out, all you would have heard is exactly what you wanted to with no regard to what I meant by the words. You would have used whatever I said to further construct the image of me you already have in your head so you wouldn’t have to acknowledge that _maybe_ you were wrong. I have lived my whole life thus far having people assume I’m everything they’ve made up in their small-minded, idiot brains and I _refuse_ to be reduced to some half formed image of a man _you_ think I am when you aren’t even willing to look at who I _actually_ am. If that makes me immature then fine, but don’t act like you’re above the label because you aren’t,” he snaps.

He quickly leaves the room before he says a bunch of things he won’t be able to bring himself to regret, for Bucky’s sake at least.

*

Sam looks at him like he’s nuts, “you walked into the room and told him you didn’t like him, called him immature, and you wonder why he lost his shit on you? Steve, you can’t decide to insult someone and then expect them to respect you, that isn’t how things work,” he says.

Steve rubs his face, “it was meant to be a statement, not an insult. I just wanted us to be on the same page, I didn’t expect him to freak out.” Admittedly he didn’t react well either and Tony… well Tony had a point. He knew that he was… stubborn, that he had a hard time accepting other points of view if they ran contrary to his own. It had been easy to fall back into that but in his defense he didn’t _have_ any other image of Tony to go off of. Sam clearly didn’t hate the guy though he did remain a healthy amount of skeptical, as did T’Challa though that was his natural state. Bucky and Rhodey had different images of Tony entirely, hell; even Clint had a different view of Tony than the rest of them did. Steve didn’t know which one to trust, if any of them.

“You probably should have started with the apology you were _going_ to go with and _then_ told him that you still didn’t like him. Or better yet you could have kept that to yourself so you didn’t make the apology sound disingenuous. You can be skeptical of people’s agendas while also not being an asshole, T’Challa does it regularly,” Sam points out.

So Steve knew. But he had wanted to establish his own current feelings first to get them out of the way before he got to anything else; it had seemed logical at the time. God, he couldn’t do anything right lately. “Great, well it isn’t like Tony is ever going to listen to me now because he’s just as guilty as only seeing what he wants to but he isn’t going to acknowledge that any time soon,” he mumbles.

“Really, man? You really haven’t given him any reason to like you, you tried to kick his ass to the curb immediately, which was reasonable in your defense, but then you spent the next month and a half up his ass because Bucky likes him. And yeah, he had been a _right_ asshole back to you but there is clearly something there that we’re missing because you’re the only one he reacts to like that. You must be triggering something- shut your mouth Steve- just because you’re acting as a trigger doesn’t mean you’re actively trying to be an ass. Sometimes you just don’t know when to keep your big mouth shut because you’re damn stubborn. Just give the guy some space,” Sam says, being entirely unhelpful.

“I can’t believe you’re on his side,” Steve mumbles, mostly to himself. Sam was supposed to be _his_ guy and Tony managed to fuck _that_ up too.

“I’m not on his side and I don’t appreciate your attitude. Tony might very well be seeing only what he wants to but Steve, you haven’t given him much else to work with. Your behavior in the beginning was pretty justified, if a little cold. But after that? You were mad that Bucky was making connections that weren’t you and you took that out on Tony, if I were him I wouldn’t like you much either,” he says.

Sam’s right of course, he always is and as much as Steve didn’t want to admit it he at least had other opinions of Tony floating around. Everyone else would confirm he’s been acting like an ass regardless of how much they liked him, Sam and Bucky included. And Rhodey had never liked him, Steve didn’t know why, so Tony certainly hadn’t gotten a positive review there. Bucky might be idealistic but Sam and T’Challa were clear-headed, they would have an accurate opinion. So would Clint but then he liked anyone who agreed with his notion that omegas weren’t gods, which was almost no one. Steve would like to entertain that theory but he didn’t have much hope in anything and he didn’t want that last bit of hope to go away too. Maybe omegas weren’t gods, but they did have power and Steve hoped they used it to help. He’d probably never know.

“I just didn’t want Bucky to get hurt,” Steve says quietly, knowing full well that that was a shitty excuse.

“Well unfortunately for you you don’t get that choice, and neither do the rest of us for that matter. Bucky is more than smart enough to come to his own conclusions and if he’s wrong, well, he’s survived worse,” Sam points out.

He was wrong about that. Bucky’s suffered more than any man should in a lifetime but that was done by evil people with evil intentions and heartbreak wasn’t so clear-cut. Tony might be an asshole with a giant chip on his shoulder for unknown reasons but he wasn’t evil. If he broke Bucky’s heart there would be no rhyme, no reason, it would just _be_ and that was so much harder than laying the blame on evil people. Heartbreak left no one to blame and grieving was hard enough on its own, but it was worse when you lost someone who didn’t want you anyways.

*

Tony stretches out and groans. He was still warmer than normal but thankfully mostly heat free, finally. Those pills must have cut down the length of his heat and he was more than thankful for that. “You feeling better?” Bucky mumbles into his hair, nosing at his scalp. Sometime after they had ended up in that weed infested courtyard area they had made it back to Tony’s room to curl up on the tiny bed. Bucky had laughed his ass off when Tony found a spider and freaked the hell out. He _hated_ spiders.

“Yeah m’okay,” he says, carefully flipping himself over so face Bucky. He buries his head in Bucky’s chest and wedges one of his legs between Bucky’s in an attempt to score more room on the bed. He’s only minorly successful.

“No spiders?” Bucky asks in a playful tone.

“Fuck off,” Tony mumbles at him, embarrassed.

Bucky’s arms wrap around him tightly, “aww, don’t be embarrassed, I thought it was cute.”

“Was not cute,” Tony mumbles petulantly. He _hated_ spiders. He didn’t trust the eight-legged creatures; they didn’t even _need_ that many eyes.

“Was so,” Bucky says into Tony’s hair. They stay like that for a few minutes and just breathe, enjoying each other’s company in a small moment of bliss before they had to get up and do things. Tony should probably go visit Yinsen and he was sure Rhodey had a million and one things for them both to do. Sam was also working on some self camouflage stuff for Redwing and Tony wanted to see what he had come up with.

Bucky probably had his own stuff to do, like kiss and make up with Steve though Steve should be the one doing the kissing. Personally Tony would be happy if he never saw the guy again, and even then it’d be too soon but he doesn’t tell Bucky that. Tony’s feelings on the subject wouldn’t do either of them any good and unless Bucky asked he wasn’t going to say anything at all. If he asked Tony wasn’t going to lie, it wasn’t his style, but he’d at least be tactful. Obi would be proud, the man always said Tony lacked all tact and he wasn’t really wrong.

After a few moments Bucky shuffles a bit and Tony reluctantly pulls his head off Bucky’s chest to see what was up. Hopefully Bucky didn’t intend to actually get up and do stuff because Tony wasn’t quite willing to give up his comfort quite yet. “My left hip is numb,” Bucky mumbles and Tony laughs.

“You ruined our moment,” he accuses, swatting at Bucky’s arm.

“Did not, you drama queen,” Bucky says, rolling his eyes fondly. Bucky had such pretty eyes, so blue, and they stood out so nicely against his dark hair. He was all kinds of Tony’s type but as far as he was concerned his type was hot, so Bucky definitely fit the bill.

“I am not a drama queen and you so ruined the moment with your old lady hip,” he says. They both remain silent for a moment before they start laughing.

“I do not have an old lady hip, you ass. Your bed is just _really_ uncomfortable,” Bucky says, “how the hell do you sleep on this thing?”

“I have severe insomnia,” he quips though the statement was true. He’s always had troubles sleeping, the hazards of having a brain that ran so fast, but it has been getting worse.

Bucky frowns for a moment, “are you okay?” he asks gently, clearly concerned.

Tony shrugs, “always,” he says in a nonchalant tone.

“Okay,” Bucky murmurs, dropping his nose back into Tony’s hair and sniffing.

“Stop sniffing me, I’m not a fucking a flower,” Tony says, wrinkling his nose. Bucky sniffs again and Tony snorts, “I’m like eighty percent sure that my hair went up your nose that time and that’s just gross,” he mumbles. Bucky snorts and laughs into his hair and Tony makes a displeased noise, “well don’t _snot_ on me!” Bucky starts laughing and Tony was not impressed, really.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the end of this required me to finagle Tony's canon feelings with the ones that fit the circumstances of this particular fic and this situation so hopefully I did well. 
> 
> Also debating on keeping the Bucky killing Tony's parents thing in this (well, Maria) but we will see because that will add at least another ten thousand words to this beast and I have a lot to go through as it is. This was never meant to be this long! I'm not even half way through! But I will stop yelling into the void now lol.
> 
> This chapter also got a lot longer than I thought it'd be so...

“So,” Rhodey says, “you and Bucky.”

Tony raises an eyebrow, “Bucky and I?” he asks.

“You two are, ugh, getting pretty intimate,” Rhodey says like he wasn’t pointing out the obvious.

“Is this where you give me the sex talk? Because I’m not a moron, I do know how things work. Or is this supposed to lead into one of those ‘if you hurt him you die’ talks? If that’s the case I think Steve will have you covered,” he points out. He wasn’t looking forward to Steve’s bullshit talk but he was going to have to deal with it he guessed, for Bucky’s sake.

Rhodey looks at him weird, “you’re a grown ass man, I like to hope you know how sex works. And no, I wasn’t going to give you the shovel talk, I’m going to give _Bucky_ the shovel talk. I like you and he better not go scare you off with heartbreak,” Rhodey says, hands planted on his hips. Tony throws his head back and laughs at Rhodey, who does not look impressed with this switch of events. “I try and defend your honor and this is the repayment I get? Ungrateful,” Rhodey tells him, shaking his head in mock dramatics.

“Thanks sweetums, but I don’t need you to defend my honor, I’ve got that covered. If you could acquire some chips I’d be eternally grateful though,” he says, grinning. He forgot how much he loved junk food until he had it again. It was something of a rare treat even still given that this was not the environment where one would find an abundance of any food let alone chips.

Rhodey snorts and shakes his head, “I am not giving you any chips I come across, I am hording those for myself thank you. But seriously though, are you alright with this? Are you okay?” he asks and Tony really doesn’t know why Rhodey would even ask but alright.

“Yeah, of course I’m fine and okay with this. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t have bothered with this whole thing, it’d be a waste of everyone’s time. Also I take personal offense to you not handing over any of those elusive chips, shame on you,” he says dramatically, earning an eye roll from Rhodey.

“As if you’d share your chips with me, you’d probably go running off to share them with Bucky,” Rhodey accuses, “and I was just checking. I don’t want you walking into something you aren’t prepared to deal with, especially considering that seems to be your natural state.”

Okay so maybe Rhodey had a point about rushing into situations he wasn’t prepared for being his natural state but still. “Obviously I would share my chips with Bucky, it’d be a cute recreation of our first date. As far as being prepared to deal, well, probably not. But I’ll be fine, I’m always fine, no need to worry about me,” he says dismissively. It was true though; no matter how bad things seemed to get for him he was always fine, he always managed to pull through. That didn’t make things easy for sure, but he managed nonetheless.

“I know you’ll be fine, you’re tough, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry. I know you don’t really have anyone, or at least you don’t talk about anyone, and I don’t want you to latch onto something and get hurt. I know what it’s like to loose people you care about and it sucks and I just want to let you know that I’m here for you, okay?” Rhodey says meaningfully.

For a moment Tony is silent because he doesn’t know what to make of that proclamation of caring. “I… thank you I guess. And I don’t have anyone, not really, never really have had anyone to be honest,” he says, frowning. His mother died when he was young enough that he barely remembered her some days, Howard had never cared and by the time he decides he should Tony wasn’t interested. Pepper was great but she was literally paid to spend time with him regardless of their solidarity. Jane and Darcy were in a similar camp of being there with him but not there _for_ him, though unlike Pepper they had to social standing to be there for him, they just had their own issues.

“I get that. When I was young all I had was my Ma and when she got sick I tired but I didn’t know what I was doing and when she died, well, I didn’t really have anywhere to go. I don’t even know how I survived so long, by all accounts I should be dead, but eventually I found Coulson. The guy literally took out an entire room of people with two bags of flour, I shit you not. Anyways my dumb ass saw an opportunity and on my way out of the store to avoid getting my ass handed to me I swiped his wallet,” Rhodey says and Tony snorts because that was a fucking dumb idea.

“I never said I was smart, I was sixteen and scared and in my defense I made it miles away before he caught up. Granted at the time I thought I must have swiped something pretty fucking valuable for him to hunt my ass down like that. Turned out he was impressed with my skills and wanted to learn, and he offered to teach me hand-to-hand combat in exchange. I agreed and we traveled around sort of transient for awhile until we met Clint and honestly that guy has got to secretly be an omega because he _definitely_ has the luck of the gods. Seriously, you and him both, you always manage to get out of shit and find chips and two-ply toilet paper. Anyways eventually Clint found this place and here I am. So I get it, being alone, and I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” Rhodey says gently.

Yeah, Tony got that even if he was irritated with the omega comment. “To be honest I haven’t really been close to anyone until now and I really don’t care how it ends if its good now. My mom died when I was young, and my dad was an alcoholic and a mean fucking drunk to boot. I hear them arguing one night but I didn’t think anything of it because it wasn’t anything new and when I heard the door slam I assumed he left. He was always the one that left. But no, it was mom this time and I got woken up at like five a.m because she wrapped her damn car around a tree and she was dead and I was stuck with Howard. His drinking got worse and so did his abuse. I left and didn’t look back and trust me, anything is better than that,” he says bitterly.

That wasn’t actually where the story ended, and that wasn’t everything that happened in between. Howard’s drinking got worse and so did his ability to get anything done and finally Obadiah stepped in to help Howard out, thank god for that. Tony isn’t sure what changed Howard’s tune but he did eventually stop drinking but by then Tony had zero trust in him and even less of an inclination to let him build any sort of rapport. Obi used to try and talk him into giving Howard a chance, told his that Howard really did love him but Tony didn’t believe it for a second. If Howard really loved him he would have at least apologized but he hadn’t and even worse he tried to pretend like nothing ever happened. Tony wasn’t sure of Howard’s tendency to outright ignore Tony’s opinions, tell him he was wrong, or that he didn’t _really_ know what he wanted was a better or worse form of abuse.

He guessed he should be glad that he wasn’t being hit anymore but that felt like a bitter opinion to swallow because his pain hadn’t stopped, not really. It just changed a little and he didn’t think he should be grateful for that, especially when everyone who insisted on swarming him to use him as some fucking prayer tool also ignored his own comfort and agency.

Rhodey reaches out and grips his shoulder, “I’m sorry man, I really am.” He means it, Tony can tell, because if his life has taught him anything it’s the ability to tell genuine belief apart from some bullshit meant to appease him.

Tony lifts a shoulder and drops it, “whatever I guess. What’s done is done and I’m fine now anyways so clearly I could handle it.” Howard might have some contrary opinions but he used to tell Tony all the time _real men are made of iron_ as if that was supposed to mean something. Tony wasn’t iron, he was a man, and he disliked anyone trying to turn him into something else. Funnily enough being a god was no better than being iron either because both circumstances left him dehumanized and turned into an object for others to manipulate for their own ends with no regard to his own thoughts and feelings.

“Tony,” Rhodey says softly and Tony looks up, surprised at the soft anger in Rhodey’s features, “just because you can handle something doesn’t mean it was ever okay for someone to hurt you. Ever.” Tony looks away because he doesn’t know how to handle that, doesn’t know how to handle being told that his own feelings mattered because he’s never really heard it until now. He didn’t know what to do with the knowledge that being able to handle something didn’t mean he had to do that thing. Objectively he knew that, it was why he left home to begin with, but it hadn’t really occurred to him that he could have stayed and told people no, he wasn’t going to be their god, he was going to be his own person. He didn’t even know that was an _option_.

Rhodey pulls him into a hug and he goes willingly, gratefully even. “I’ve got you,” he says quietly and Tony wraps his arms around Rhodey’s waist, clinging to him tightly, happy that he was there.

*

Tony was tempted to ditch Yinsen for Bucky but he doesn’t. Instead he sits beside him and watches as he eats, looking mostly not dead thankfully. He seemed to be showing real improvement and Tony was happy for that. Yinsen was a good man, he deserved to live. “So, planning on telling anyone who you are?” Yinsen asks, raising an eyebrow at him out of curiosity.

“No,” Tony says, giving Yinsen a look. They both knew that was never going to happen so long as he had anything to say about it.

“And why not? I can’t imagine you think lying about your identity is the best way to make friends,” Yinsen points out. Maybe not but at least they would actually like him for _him_ and he tells Yinsen so. “You think they wouldn’t accept you?” he asks, eyebrows shooting up again.

“No, not for me anyways. The second you tell someone you’re a supposed god that’s all they see, they can’t help it, they’re trained to do that. I want to be seen through the lens of who I am, not who they think I should be. Haven’t we had this discussion?” he asks. They have, he knew, and it always seemed to go around in circles so he had no idea why Yinsen even tried.

“We have but I always hope for a different response. Do you not have family back home, friends even, that accept you for who you are?” he asks, head tilted to this side. Tony shakes his head because even those that did see more than most still saw him as a god before his own person. Yinsen looks sad and he shakes his head, “you’re a man with everything and nothing,” he says and yeah, that’s what it felt like. He was supposed to be a god but all he got from it was extreme isolation and pain. Everything and nothing.

*

Bucky wraps his arm around Tony and he gratefully leans into it, happy to be as close to Bucky as he could get without crawling under his skin. Steve was glaring at him from across the bon fire but Clint was making kissing noises and snickering while Coulson told him to act right. “Honestly, are we in grade school?” he asks, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

“I wouldn’t know, never been,” Clint says casually and Tony frowns because _what_? There were no school systems out here? That… actually in hindsight that made sense given the lack of funding that the supposed hospital got. Hell, the thing was barely even clean and Tony had had to learn how to slip medical knowledge none of them had into casual conversation. Then he claimed he learned what was considered common knowledge to him from nurses and other medical professionals elsewhere.

“None of you are like… illiterate, right?” he asks and he’s unable to keep the surprise out of his voice, which, damn. That probably looked weird.

“We all know how to read, some in multiple languages. Can’t have a brainwashed assassin who can’t read in at least one language,” Bucky says casually, like telling someone you used to be an assassin was a normal thing.

“ _What_?” Tony asks, not even sure _where_ to start with that.

“Surprise,” Bucky says in far too casual a tone, lifting his shoulders and dropping them.

“I taught Clint how to read, I can’t date someone who can’t appreciate Tolstoy,” Coulson says, saving the hell out of Bucky and Tony both.

Tony wrinkles his nose, “ugh, Tolstoy? Develop taste man, War and Peace is fucking awful. If we’re going classic authors Tolkien and Vonnegut all the way. Fucking Tolstoy, seriously man?” Thankfully he hadn’t been horribly tortured by the classics but he had had to read enough to know literature was not for him, thank you.

Coulson looks personally offended and he had no right when his taste was that bad, “I have never in my life been so offended. Steve was right, you’re clearly the devil in a hot costume,” he says, hand pressed dramatically to his heart.

“Okay you know what, if you hate Dickens I’ll forgive you for Tolstoy,” Tony says in an attempt to make the peace.

“Did you just say he was in a hot costume?” Clint asks, squinting at Coulson in what was certainly jealousy. Aww, he felt threatened by Tony’s hotness.

“He is hot,” Bucky says and Tony preens under the praise because hell yes. He never knew he thrived off positive attention but he could so live a life like this.

“I hate Dickens, his paid word count can eat my entire ass,” Coulson says, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

“Agreed. And if you don’t love 1984 I might have to kill you,” Tony says only half serious. It happened to be one of the few classics that he read and didn’t hate so that put it into his good books.

“I preferred Huxley’s take on dystopia but I can appreciate 1984,” Coulson says, giving a small nod of approval.

“Brave New World was good too, I prefer 1984 but I can see the love,” he says, giving his own nod of approval.

“I’ll eat your entire ass,” Clint throws in, looking up at Coulson from his spot on the ground between Coulson’s legs.

“No thank you, honey,” he says with a small smile and Tony starts laughing at the disappointed look on Clint’s face.

“I never liked Tolstoy,” Clint says in way of actual revenge.

Coulson lets out a small gasp, “you’ve betrayed me!” He has his hand pressed to his heart in a show of dramatics but Clint looks unrepentant.

“Where the hell did you read classics?” Steve asks, squinting at Tony suspiciously.

“The same place Coulson did, out of a book,” he says sarcastically. Steve looks irritated with this but Sam bursts out laughing, telling Steve to cool his jets because at the very least he had to appreciate the level of _done_ that went into Tony’s comment. The fact that Bucky snickers only seems to serve to irritate Steve more but Tony didn’t care much. Actually he thought Steve’s annoyance was great and he was happy the man was suffering if just a little.

“What is Steve glaring at?” T’Challa asks as he walks up to the scene.

“Tony reading classics,” Sam supplies, tossing T’Challa a can of something that probably tasted horrible.

“If anyone here hates Hamlet they need to leave immediately,” T’Challa says, looking at Tony in particular.

“I’m offended. I liked Hamlet well enough but I prefer math, always have, its just so much easier to understand than any sort of reading material. The calculations either work or they don’t, there’s none of this wishy-washy overlapping themes and alternative readings and shit. That’s the way I like it,” he says firmly. Obi told him he had no appreciation and to be fair the guy was right, he didn’t, but he hadn’t wanted one either. He was fine never understanding every theme there was in Hamlet, there were too fucking many and that wasn’t even including alternative readings and whatnot.

“I feel that man, I don’t care about the twenty different ways you can read the first sentence of a book, I wanna build a cool ass robot,” Sam says. Tony nods in approval and this was why he liked Sam, he knew what was up.

“You people are tasteless,” T’Challa mumbles, “preferring math like a bunch of heathens.”

“I prefer literature,” Coulson throws out, happily latching onto T’Challa’s statement.

“A man with a brain,” T’Challa says in a pleased tone, “excellent.”

“Where the hell have you people been reading classics?” Steve asks, frowning because now it was impossible to zero Tony out when half the group had read classics too, including the previously illiterate Clint.

“Libraries,” T’Challa says, deadpan.

“Where the hell are you finding libraries?” Steve asks. He looks even more confused than before and Tony thought that was fair. There were no libraries that Tony had seen around in all the driving he had been involved in and if there were no real school systems, well, what use did people have for reading?

“Small settlements closer to larger cities, I always make sure to steal a few book when I’m in the area. I could always use more reading material,” Coulson says.

“No you don’t, your book collection is fucking heavy and it’s the first thing I’m burning if I need warmth,” Clint tells him, earning another offended gasp from Coulson.

“I can’t love you anymore, Clint, I’m sorry,” he says, shaking his head.

“You won’t find anyone else to haul your books around until they become fire starters,” Clint warns. Coulson sighs and accepts his fate with Clint. Steve also seems to accept that Tony’s strange knowledge of classics was far less strange when people he knew and trusted also had that knowledge, even if it was obvious he didn’t want to. That, of course, makes Tony curious as to how T’Challa and Coulson were educated enough to read classical material with what appeared to be more in-depth knowledge than the average reader. Especially because the average reader wouldn't exist in an illiterate population.

Tony frowns as the conversation continues because things got progressively worse the more he was forced to look at things and he didn’t much like it.

*

Bucky looks uncomfortable and he has for most of the night, not that Tony noticed until a few minutes ago. It was a brief analysis of memory that confirmed that Bucky’s feelings clearly weren’t new, Tony had just been wrapped up in his own thoughts and he hadn’t noticed. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly as they stop outside his makeshift bedroom.

The surprise on Bucky’s face is heartbreaking and Tony wants to hide him from everyone else’s shitty behavior forever. “I… you care?” he asks, surprise coating his tone too.

“Of course I care, why the hell wouldn’t I?” he asks, shocked.

“I told you I used to be an assassin, I _killed_ people, Tony. Does that not bother you?” Bucky asks, looking just as taken off guard as Tony.

“Yeah, I think the ‘brainwashed’ part was probably more important to focus on here. How much were you even aware of at the time? Or now, do you even remember anything? Kind of hope you don’t to be honest,” he says, feeling a bit queasy. God even knew what the hell Bucky has been through and Tony wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know.

“Technically nothing, not at the time. I remember some things now but the memories are blurry and it kind of hurts to remember so I don’t really try,” Bucky says and he looks guilty too, like he felt he _should_ remember, should suffer the pain of knowing. Tony didn’t agree at all.

“Bucky, if you weren’t even aware of what was happening you can’t blame yourself for what you did. It wasn’t like you had any sort of control,” he points out. “Steve has had to have told you this, I mean he’s an ass but he isn’t a monster, he’s _had_ to have told you that you aren’t to blame here.”

“Steve’s supposed to say those things,” Bucky mumbles, looking away.

“Well Steve’s right, like one hundred percent right and you should listen to him,” Tony says with conviction.

Bucky’s head snaps up in surprise, “what?” he asks, blinking in confusion.

“I said Steve is right, you can’t blame yourself for things you honestly had no control over,” Tony says. Thankfully this seems to get through to Bucky and Tony got why, it wasn’t like Tony would agree with Steve on any other given occasion. They hated each other and agreeing with him was kind of a big deal.

Unfortunately that lasts like five seconds. “Still did it though,” Bucky mumbles, “I ran into a woman once. I didn’t remember her but she remembered me, she didn’t agree with you or Steve. She thought I should have fought harder. She was right,” he says quietly.

Tony’s first instinct is to dismiss the woman but he knew the pain of losing someone, knew what that did to a person. It fucking destroyed Howard, who destroyed him in turn and Tony wasn’t sure he’d ever recover from that, or if Howard would ever recover from losing Maria. “Bucky, losing someone is painful, and it fucks you right up. Believe me, I know, I lost my mom young and she was in a car accident but if I ever found out someone caused it I’d flip shit. It wouldn’t matter to me what the circumstances were because that’s how death works- it makes you selfish and cruel, all you know is your pain and it doesn’t matter if someone else is in pain too. She didn’t empathize with you like Steve and I do because under her circumstances it was impossible to, not because you don’t deserve empathy.”

“But she was right,” Bucky whispers.

“No Bucky, she was in too much pain to see yours, there’s a difference. You can’t rely on the emotions of a person who, at the time, wasn’t capable of seeing past their own grief. And grief is hard, and it makes people hard too. When you lose someone you love you lose a little bit of yourself too and for some people they can’t move past that stage, but that doesn’t mean you’re guilty. It means they hurt, and their pain doesn’t erase yours, understand?” he asks. He hoped so and he hoped he explained that right because there really was no pain quite like losing a loved one. It was almost impossible to explain to someone who had never felt the pain and even then it was hard to share the experience when everyone was different.

Circumstances were never the same, people felt things in different ways, and people coped, or didn’t, in different ways too. Death was fucking cruel and emotionally blinding, Tony knew, he’s done everything he could to avoid feeling the pain of his mother’s loss because it was just too fucking much and if he focused on it too long he was afraid it would swallow him whole. He couldn’t do that, couldn’t risk being Howard. So he did everything he could to not think about it for too long because that was better than feeling something.

“But what about you and Steve? You’re emotionally blinded too, you both care about me, so what makes you think you’re right?” Bucky asks and it’s logical, Tony thinks. But it’s also a way to continue feeling guilty for actions that didn’t really belong to him.

“You’re right. We’re too close to have a clear picture but consider this, if you met someone who went trough the exact same things that you did, did everything that you did would you be able to look them in the eye and tell them they’re guilty?” he asks. Bucky’s jaw clenches and he looks away and that’s how Tony knew he got the point across.

“That’s different,” he says, shaking his head.

“Is it? Come on, picture it, someone who is just like you, suffered like you did, caused the pain that you did. Tell them they’re guilty, that they could have fought it, that they’re a mons-”

“No,” Bucky says abruptly, interrupting Tony.

“Why?”

“Because its impossible to fight, they made it impossible to fight, I _tried_ and I couldn’t do it and-” Bucky’s voice gives out and he lets out a shaky breath, blinking at the tears that were now running down his face.

“Exactly,” Tony says, “and yeah, maybe Steve and I are biased by our affection but we also aren’t feeling the loss of someone close to us. We aren’t in a fucking pit of despair and looking at the closest person to blame, we see what that woman couldn’t. We see a victim and a survivor; someone who has gone though god knows what and somehow still came out the other side good. God knows most people in your place would have become everything that woman probably thought you were,” he says. How the fuck Bucky came out the way he did Tony didn’t even know. Now all those off-hand comments about Bucky’s past suddenly made a lot more sense, and so did at least some of Steve’s protectiveness, even if Tony didn’t agree with it.

They stand there for a few long moments before Tony draws Bucky in for a hug, holding onto him tightly and ignoring the tears wetting his shoulder. “Thank you,” Bucky whispers, “you’re too good for me.”

“Oh, that isn’t true. Steve probably has a point about that too,” he says quietly. After all he was lying about who he was and Bucky didn’t need the fall out of that to deal with on top of everything else too. But love was almost as selfish as death and Tony wasn’t ready to give this up, to go back to the emptiness he had before. For the first time in his life he belonged, and he was loved and he loved people, all without being viewed through the filter of his biology. And yeah, he was stuck in the middle of a shit storm that seemed to get worse with every passing day but he was _learning_ and he was _helping_ in ways that he clearly wasn’t in the city. He had been blinded by his social role and now he could actually see what was happening around him and he could _do_ something about it.

Obviously he hadn’t been of any use playing god, in fact he was actively use _less_ as a god. When that went away he was afforded a look at things in a way he never would have gotten otherwise and that was why he left to begin with. At least now he was more than a thing to worship, more than an empty symbol with no real power.

Bucky pulls away, “Steve isn’t right about you. Its like you’re everything I ever needed and then some and I didn’t even know it until you got here. Maybe you are secretly an omega or something because I’m pretty sure you’re divine, even if it’s just to me,” he says. Tony forces himself not to react to that the way he wanted to but Bucky seems to notice his discomfort anyways because he frowns, tilting his head to the side in question.

“I’m not divine, Bucky, I’m just a man. I mean I guess it’s sweet that you think I’m more than that but I’m not.” He leaves it at that and Bucky wants to ask more questions, Tony could see it, but he thankfully leaves it alone. Tony is grateful for that because this was a subject that he’d rather avoid for the next forever. It was fucking bizarre how even here, free from his previous environment, people _still_ managed to throw water on his reality every once and awhile. It was like a cold shock every time, a harsh reminder that he might be free but he’d never fully escape. He fucking hated that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's shorter than usual but I got it done today and I was excited to share :)
> 
> Also fun fact- in this particular universe Bucky is demisexual. I mean it'll never come up by name because I have bigger plot points to swallow but he is demisexual.

Tony stretches out some and Bucky whines at him for disrupting his comfortable position. Of course this comfortable position was acting as a blanket for Tony by lying sprawled across him, nose buried in Tony’s hair. He was probably going to develop bald spots if Bucky kept sniffing his hair as much as he did. “Stop sniffing me,” Tony mumbles, flailing an arm around uselessly because the rest on his was currently trapped. Bucky buries his nose into Tony’s hair further and sniffs. “I hate you,” Tony tells him and Bucky snorts, “using me as a human Kleenex does not endear me to you.”

Bucky casually shifts himself off of Tony and stretches himself out too, letting out a pleased noise as he did so. “S’not my fault you smell really good,” he tells Tony. He shuffles closer to Bucky because now he was cold and Bucky was warm and good and not freezing.

“I smell like sweat and cheese for some reason, I do not smell good,” Tony says. He even sniffs himself to make sure and he wrinkles his nose because nope, he smelled awful. It wasn’t even like he could blame Bucky’s weird obsession on heat stink anymore, now it was just Bucky’s weird nose and willingness to suffer with sweaty human.

“You do not smell like cheese, you smell like pine needles and love,” Bucky says.

Tony snorts, “you definitely aren’t really awake if you think that I smell like _love_ ,” he says. All this gets him is more of Bucky sniffing him. He shakes his head but accepts Bucky’s being a flawed human who liked the smell of sweaty cheese human too much.

*

His first instinct upon seeing Steve is to look for the nearest exit but unfortunately Steve was currently standing in the current exit. He wasn’t happy with it but he turns to face Steve and waits for the man to speak so he could get this over with. Steve must be waiting for the same thing because he doesn’t say anything either. Finally Tony has enough and decides to go first here, “so what brings you here?” he asks. He doesn’t mean to sound like an asshole, really, it was meant to sound like an actual question but instead it came out with attitude.

Thankfully Steve chooses to ignore that in favor of focusing on his reasons for being here. “You told Bucky that it wasn’t his fault, and he _believed_ you,” he says in way of an actual greeting or some other normal reaction. “You told him that I was right, like you used those words,” Steve says and Tony decides to forgive him for sounding so surprised because he probably would too if he were in Steve’s position.

“You are right so I told Bucky so, it isn’t that big of a deal,” he says and turns back to his current project, a small energy source that was to replace the stupid generator that crapped out more than it didn’t. Howard had made designs for something much larger than this but they couldn’t afford to build something that big so Tony scaled down, way down. The new reactor could fit in the palm of his hand and had the capacity to power the city for twenty-five years on a single core so long as everything went well. Lights and heat wouldn’t be an issue here anymore and that would work wonders for the health standards of the patients as well as everyone else.

“Yes it is. You didn’t need to agree with me, or bring me into this at all,” Steve says, “I’ve kind of fucked up with Bucky a lot and I lost a lot of trust from him. And I deserve it, I know, but you gave me some of that trust back and I appreciate that.” Steve was being earnest, thoughtful even and that caught Tony off guard a little.

“Then I guess you shouldn’t fuck it up twice,” Tony says, though not in a cruel way. He didn’t like Steve but he was important to Bucky, and Bucky was important to Steve. As much as Tony didn’t care for the guy he was one of the only emotional supports Bucky had and he needed Steve. Tony knew what it was like to only have one person in the world that you could talk to, that you could trust even if only a little. Pepper had been that for him for a long time and she had flaws the same way Steve did, but he wouldn’t want to lose her if he could help it. At some point he’d find a way to make contact again, let her know he was safe so she could stop worrying about him. If anyone still cared about his being missing it’d be her. He was sure he was old news now; it’s been almost two and a half months, that was a long time to hold out hope.

“I still don’t like you, and I know you’re hiding something, but I appreciate what you’ve done for Bucky,” Steve says and Tony’s pretty sure that’s an apology. Or at least what Steve passed off as an apology.

“I don’t like you either, and I think you need to back the fuck off Bucky, but you’re pretty much all he has so I guess I get stuck dealing with you,” he says. Not that he wanted to but hey, it couldn’t all be peaches and roses.

Steve shakes his head and smiles a little, “if anyone could have out done my half assed backhanded apology it’s you. Well, I guess it’s a good think we’re on the same page then,” Steve says, shifting a bit awkwardly.

Tony nods, “so we are. You can leave now, we have no use for each other,” he points out. He makes a shooing motion at Steve and thankfully he just goes instead of starting an argument about rudeness or something.

*

Sam needs supplies and frankly so did Tony but they were the only ones who even knew what to look for. Rhodey and T’Challa both knew their way around tech but Sam and Tony were the geniuses when it came to inventing and the supplies they’d need to do it, thus resulting in Sam asking Tony to take a trip with him the next day. According to Sam’s estimations it would take roughly a couple days to find everything he needed and Tony could build something out of anything really, so he planned on picking up whatever he thought could be useful later. That did, however, mean a few days away from Bucky and Tony wasn’t very fond of that idea.

When he finds Bucky and tells him what was going on Bucky didn’t look very happy with this either. “A few days?” he asks, gently reaching out and pulling Tony closer. Tony goes willingly, more than willingly, and places his hands on Bucky’s hips. He never really did get the appeal of that until now but maybe that was because the rest of Bucky was great too. “That’s a long time,” Bucky says, frowning.

Tony shrugs, “ehh, its not so bad. We need some stuff and it won’t be that long,” he says. With Sam it would probably feel like less because he could actually keep up with Tony’s tech talk. It was nice to have a conversation with someone who actually knew what the hell he was saying because no one else ever seemed to. Even Howard was lost and his research in tech was what inspired Tony’s own, at least at first. Later on Tony started doing his own thing, or taking bits and pieced of Howard’s work and turning it into something else entirely. Like the mini reactor. It was literally three hundred times more efficient and like a sixteenth of the size. That was how you made a power source, not some two story high monstrosity.

Bucky drops his nose into Tony’s hair and he was getting really concerned about the future of his hairline if Bucky kept this up. He needed that hair; he’d look fucking stupid if he was hairless. “I’ll miss you,” Bucky says into his hair.

“I’ll miss you too Bucky,” he says, pressing his face into Bucky’s chest. Bucky gently runs the tips of his fingers up and down Tony’s back and Tony leans into it, pleased with the contact. It felt nice, being touched without some sort of agenda or prayer behind it the way he was used to. He shivers when Bucky flattens his palms to his back and runs his hands down Tony’s back, coming to a stop at Tony’s waist.

“Tell Sam to go by himself,” Bucky mumbles.

“I’m not going to send poor Sam out by himself, plus he has no idea what I’ll need. I don’t know what I’ll need until I see it. I won’t be gone too long,” Tony says softly, tipping his head up to look at Bucky. They end up almost nose-to-nose and Tony blinks for a moment because he hadn’t realized how blue Bucky’s eyes were, or how long his eyelashes were. Bucky carefully brings his metal hand up and brushes Tony’s jaw with it, his finger tips just barely touching the skin.

“You have such gorgeous eyes,” Bucky tells him and Tony looks away because no he didn’t, not really. They were _brown_. “Tony,” Bucky says, drawing his attention back to him, “you have gorgeous eyes,” he says again with a hint of a smile, like he was trying to make sure that Tony damn well believed Bucky meant that. Tony’s own lips twitch up just a bit and Bucky tilts his jaw up and places a gentle, chaste kiss on Tony’s lips. He goes to pull away but Tony draws him back, wrapping a hand around the back of Bucky’s neck to pull him back in.

Bucky makes a small noise of contentment and lets Tony, gently nipping at Tony’s bottom lip as he does so. Tony lifts himself onto his toes to get closer, gripping Bucky’s thick hair and Bucky wrapped his arm tighter around his waist. His other hand falls to Tony’s clavicle, his fingers splayed over his shoulder while his thumb rested against the hallow of his throat. Tony tilts his head back, a sign of submission his mind supplies unhelpfully, and Bucky gasps softly against Tony’s lips. Bucky’s left hand moves behind Tony’s neck, burying itself on Tony’s hair and gently tugging, tilting Tony’s head back further.

Tony moves willingly, his eyes fluttering shut as Bucky gently nips the sensitive skin under Tony’s jawline. Bucky shivers and Tony lets out a small noise of pleasure, taking in a sharp breath when Bucky finds a particularly sensitive patch of skin. He laughs softly into Tony’s neck, nuzzling the spot he had just kissed before biting at the area again, teeth hitting the skin in a way that made Tony’s back arch in pleasure. “Bucky-” he gasps out, fingers tightening in Bucky’s hair and Bucky shivers again, moaning into Tony’s neck.

“Dude, you guys are in the middle of the hallway, get a room,” someone says, breaking both of their concentrations on each other. Tony turns to find some guy he’s never seen before staring at them with a confused look on his face.

“Who are you?” Tony asks, squinting.

“Fuck off Scott,” Bucky snarls and the guy has the good sense to beat feet and go but it was too late. The asshole totally ruined the mood.

*

Tony doubles over laughing because this guy has _got_ to be kidding; “you control _ants_ with your mind?” he asks and starts laughing all over again. Bucky’s got his hand on Tony’s lower back in what he was certain was a possessive gesture but it was kind of attractive so he doesn’t say anything. Actually when he manages to pull himself together he leans into it and Bucky shifts his position to wrap his arm around Tony’s waist, pulling him into Bucky’s side. He goes happily, wrapping his arm around Bucky’s waist in turn.

“It’s a _great_ power,” Scott says petulantly.

“What the fuck was the government trying to achieve? The lamest super power _ever_?” Tony asks. He starts cackling all over again and Scott rolls his eyes dramatically, glaring at Sam like this was his fault.

“What? It is a pretty lame super power. Don’t look at me like that, Wanda? She can fuck with people’s minds _and_ she’s telekinetic, Steve? He can rip a helicopter apart with his bare hands. Bucky has a metal arm. You control _ants_ , out of all the things I just listed you are definitely the least cool,” Sam says, shrugging unapologetically.

“I can shrink and grow!” Scott says, scandalized.

“To ant size back to human size, that is not an improvement,” T’Challa says, almost looking like he pitied Scott.

“That’s cool!” Scott tries but Sam shakes his head.

“Nah man, what are you gunna do? Ride an ant into battle?” he asks, snickering when Tony bursts out laughing all over again.

“Antony is a great battle steed!” Scott says, personally offended that they insulted his ant.

Bucky starts laughing as hard as Tony had been, “oh my god his ant is named after you!” he wheezes out, doubling over laughing.

“It is not, it’s named after Tony Stark because Antony is lucky and clearly posses god-like qualities,” Scott says, crossing his arms.

“First, no. Second, you quit laughing _Bucky bee_ ,” Tony says and Bucky stops laughing to give him the most unimpressed look Tony has ever seen on Bucky’s face. “Bucky bee,” he says again, wiggling his eyebrows. Bucky does not look any more impressed and Tony blows him a kiss. He takes this as an invitation to draw Tony in for a kiss and Tony was not going to complain about that.

Steve, however, has other plans because he pushes the two apart and shakes his head, “oh no, there will be none of that,” he says. Tony flips him off, consequences be damned.

“Did I hear you all think _battle ant_ in sync?” Wanda asks, appearing from god knows where looking confused. Tony wanted to know where her accent was from because it wasn’t from anywhere hear here, and it was no where near the same as T’Challa’s.

“Scott has a battle ant named after Tony,” Sam confirms.

“It’s named after Tony Stark, not that Tony, unless you happen to be Tony Stark. I mean he is still missing,” Scott says.

“He is _not_ Tony Stark,” Steve snaps, saving Tony from having to outright lie to everyone and he’d take that.

“He’s still missing?” Wanda asks, frowning. Yeah, he hoped they moved on from this topic quickly. Like now.

Scott shrugs, “last I checked but that was a few weeks ago so maybe they found him.”

“Oh, we heard an alert to his disappearance a few weeks ago but it shut off when we rebooted the systems so he probably has been found,” Wanda says and Tony can thank his lucky stars for that lovely lie. Thankfully they move on from that subject and eventually Sam and Tony leave, kisses-less for Tony because Steve was glaring at him. Tony flips him off again just to test his luck.

*

The last thing he remembers before his mind goes blank was arguing with Sam about music because the man had _horrible_ taste. That electronic crap was not music, it barely even constituted as noise.

He had no idea what happened and when he tried to remember his brain hurt so he figured it was best not to push it. Some probing revealed that he had a head wound and his left hip was wet, probably from blood so he had some wound there too. He groans and tries to gain enough leverage to sit up but everything hurt. Something lands on his chest and it takes a moment to register it was an arm. Thankfully Sam spoke before Tony could develop any nightmares about that, “don’t try and sit up. We’ve been drugged and all sitting up’s gunna do is make you nauseous,” he says.

“How do you know that?” Tony asks, eyes blinking into focus to reveal that Sam was lying beside him looking just as wounded. Fucking great.

“Do you really want to know the answer to that question?” Sam asks, lifting the brow that didn’t have a cut across it.

Tony sighs, “you’re right. How long until this shit wears off, I think I might have been stabbed,” he mumbles.

“Without the dosage I have no clue. Just avoid moving,” Sam tells him. Tony was going to fucking die if he couldn’t move.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some torture in this chapter but it's mostly referenced. But just so everyone is aware! It's pretty compliant with IM1 stuff but you know, different situation.

He isn’t sure when he passed out again, just that his head hurt like hell still and the lights were fucking _bright_. “That’s not Tony Stark, that _can’t_ be Tony Stark,” someone says from off to this side.

“It is so, I’ve met him, that’s him,” someone else says and the voice sounded familiar. Vaguely so, like he hadn’t heard them speak for a long time.

“Come on, there is no way we accidentally kidnapped _Tony Stark_ ,” the first voice says.

“Yes we did, I’m telling you that that’s Tony Stark,” Voice Two says. Tony wants to tell them both to fuck off, his head hurt, but his mind is too blurry and his body is too weak. Clearly he’s been drugged again and he doesn’t have the energy to look around to try and find Sam. Shit. Sam, he had no clue who Tony was. God damnit.

“Well fuck, we have to take him back, we can’t just _experiment_ on him,” Voice One says. That gets Tony’s attention because _what_? He probably should have considered this before considering almost everyone he has met thus far has been tested on at some point but _fuck_ , he didn’t realize people were just being snatched out of nowhere. In hindsight that made sense but now… now he didn’t know what the fuck was going on and he would have thought these people at least had some sort of _standard_ they were seeking out for testing. That seemed reasonable, having some sort of standard to meet before being snatched off a road somewhere. Apparently not.

“The hell we can’t, do you even know how brilliant he is? When I met him he barely even looked at my formula, my idea, and he _still_ almost figured it out in basically seconds,” Voice Two says. _What_? What did he almost figure out? He didn’t even know what this person was talking about, his almost figuring out some formula. What did that even mean, _almost_? What were the negative affects? What the hell was _happening_ to people because of him?

“People are still blowing up Maya, clearly he wasn’t that good,” Voice One says and suddenly Tony remembers. She had been standing off to the side of the crowd, kind of nervous, and her not immediately hounding him or otherwise making him uncomfortable had been what drew him over. He was curious about the kind of person who would ignore him and he hadn’t been disappointed, not really. Her idea was brilliant, and called Extremis if he remembered correctly, and it was designed to kill foreign tissue and regenerate dead cells. It also had the added benefit of increasing the body’s temperature considerably and the combined traits were designed to heal the damage of the plague and make sure the body could withstand the virus after. In theory it would have saved a lot of lives by making people resilient to all strains of the plague.

In practice it healed the plant and then the plant super heated and exploded shortly thereafter. It was a great idea but a lost cause and Tony told her so, even after tweaking her formula a bit. It was probably workable but with the risk of _blowing people up_ he wasn’t willing to test it out. Hell, he wouldn’t have tested revised versions on _mice_ let alone people. It was too much risk to inject a living creature with that and hope they didn’t die. When the fuck did this idea get funding let alone progress to human trials? This should not be possible and he wanted to know who the fuck was behind this _now_.

“But they blow up _slower_ , that was all him. If he can figure this out than we can save way more people than we’ve killed and this will have all been worth it,” Maya says. That woman is fucking delusional, Tony decides, because killing people at random was not a good fucking way to save others. Actually it was an actively _bad_ idea because those people mattered too and their lives didn’t get to stop being important because someone else decided they mattered less than others.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t much like thinking about the afterlife but I can only imagine what would happen to me if I were complicit in killing a _god_ , Maya. What the fuck?”

“He isn’t going to die, he’ll figure it out and then he’ll know for sure that it’ll work and we’ll have a cure for the plague! He won’t be able to deny that we’ve helped and then we’ll be fine because we basically saved the world!” Maya says.

“Like _fuck_ I will. This stops _now_ ,” he says, finally finding his voice. “You people are fucking insane.”

*

They don’t notice for the first couple days because that’s how long Tony and Sam were supposed to be anyways. By day five everyone was antsy and by day seven Rhodey was ready to build an army. But Bucky didn’t need an army, he had been trained to be an army all by himself and tracking was an easy job. The memories might be blurry but he knows that he’s found more than one person that was supposed to have been impossible to find. He remembered all the skills just fine and he was more than prepared to go find Tony and Sam.

The problem was that Steve had decided that he was not going to do that. “Get out of my way Steve,” Bucky all but growls.

“No, you aren’t going out and risking your ass for someone who barely even matters to you,” Steve snaps, crossing his arms and firmly planting himself in Bucky’s doorway as if that would keep him in. Steve might be strong but he wasn’t stronger than Bucky, not really, this was something that had been previously established given that Steve was the only one who could hold Bucky down during flashbacks. Even then he had trouble because Bucky wasn’t easy to hold back, even with his own enhancements.

“Tony does so matter to me! And so does Sam!” Bucky says, offended that Steve would even say that. The comment was directed at Tony, he knew, but it wasn’t like Sam wasn’t missing just like Tony was and chances are they were taken to the same place. If one of them wasn’t kidnapped they would be back by now and since that hadn’t happened clearly they were both missing.

Steve rolls his eyes, “no he doesn’t, this is just some stupid phase you’re going through and I’m not letting you go after someone that isn’t even important. And Sam can take care of himself. I’m sure he’s fine, I hope he’s fine,” Steve says, a bit more serious near the end.

Bucky clenches his jaw, “don’t you fucking do that,” he snaps, “don’t you dare tell me that Tony doesn’t matter to me just because he doesn’t matter to you! You don’t get to dictate my feelings like that and fuck you for trying. Now you either get the hell out of my way or I’ll get you out of my way, your choice.” His voice is clear and strong and it surprises him still that he could even _make_ his words sound like that. It had been so hard to even speak at all not long ago, and god knows he had an even worse time trying to do anything for himself.

It didn’t take a genius to see how Steve had become used to making Bucky’s decisions for him, the problem was that he insisted on making Bucky’s decisions long after Bucky himself was capable. And he was _still_ trying even after Bucky _told_ him how he felt about something, but no, Steve decided that Bucky’s feelings should be his feelings. That was not happening, he loved Steve, and he was grateful to him for all he’s done, but he was not swapping one abuser for another. Steve was more than capable of getting his shit together and Bucky full well expected him to because that’s what people who loved you did. They grew up and got their shit together and stopped being assholes.

Steve looks shocked but he steps aside ad Bucky walks away without looking back.

*

Tony was not fucking impressed with this, though that might be something of an understatement. First off who even _tortured_ a god? His answer came when he realized the people playing Dunk Tony had no idea who he was, so Maya and her goon must have kept that knowledge to themselves. Nearly drowning twice a day didn’t do a whole lot to change his mind really, actually it made him feel a whole lot less likely to help and he couldn’t live forever.

It wasn’t that he wanted to die, really, because he didn’t. But he’d rather die than be the direct cause of people dying, he was already too close to being responsible for this anyways. Actually if it wasn’t for his reviewing Maya’s formula she probably never would have perused this so he was still responsible anyways. He wasn’t about to further that responsibility because she thought her delusions of grandeur would work out for the best. The formula wasn’t safe, it probably had a number of unforeseen consequences, and it was far too risky to test even if it _was_ stable. Maya’s success as she saw it was never going to happen but she wasn’t intent on listening to Tony when he told her that.

Then there was the problem of Sam. Tony had no idea where he was, if he was okay, or even if he was alive and he wasn’t much in a position to be asking questions. Half the time he was in the company of someone else his head was underwater and the other half of the time he was a little more concerned with, you know, breathing. So far no one has said anything about him and that worried Tony. If Maya was willing to torture someone who was supposed to be a god to get her results god knows what she was willing to do to Sam. Aside from blow the poor guy up, that is, considering that seemed to be her new business.

Her irritating partner, Killian, wasn’t much better in the mental stability department or pretty much any other department. Actually he was a little worse in the torture Tony department and Tony really wished he’d scale back on that. He was under the personal impression that he did not need to be punched that much but that might be because no one really _liked_ being tortured. But no, Killian was almost more hell bent on results than Maya and Tony didn’t have much time to figure out why in between being drowned or beaten.

Actually it wasn’t until Tony was there nearly a week by his own estimations, maybe less maybe more, that Killian’s temper finally ran hot enough to see why he was so invested. “Oh you sorry fuck, you’re gunna die,” Tony says and laughs harshly. Killian’s skin almost glowed, but the glowing spots seemed to grow with his anger.

“Oh no I’m not, you’re going to balance the fucking formula,” he snaps and Tony ends up observing the way the blood from his mouth hit the opposite wall. Well shit.

*

Bucky and Rhodey frown at the tire marks from what they presumed was the kidnapping site. Except there was zero sign of struggle and that just wasn’t Tony’s style, and it wasn’t Sam’s either for that matter. So how the hell did this go down? And why were there so many tracks leading away from the same vehicle? It doesn’t take Bucky long to determine why, or at least a possible reason why, while Rhodey tries to figure out what happened in the vehicle.

“I think whoever did this was trying to cover their asses, but I have no clue why,” Bucky says, looking over his shoulder at Rhodey. They managed to snatch two transient people off a random road, why bother to attempt to cover themselves? No one would care about Sam and Tony, no one would come looking and even if they did then there was no guarantee they’d be successful.

“What makes you think that?” Rhodey asks.

“This trail is older than the rest,” Bucky says, gesturing to the one that led east, to the city, “and the rest were probably marked out at least a day later. But why try and mislead us? Why put in that much effort?” he asks more to himself than Rhodey. It wasn’t like these people knew that anyone would come looking to want to throw them off. As far as they knew they managed to snatch two individual people, they had no clue that Sam and Tony were part of a group. It wasn’t like they would guess that they were either, most people avoided groups for the same reason Steve had always been suspicious of Bucky forming other connections- people didn’t last long and betrayal was basically necessary for survival.

“Maybe Sam or Tony said something about us,” Rhodey suggests.

Bucky shakes his head, “does that sound like Sam or Tony to you?” Sam would never do that and Tony, Bucky was less sure of him if he insisted on being objective, but Tony didn’t like following the rules and the worse people treated him the less he respected them, as seen with Steve. It seemed doubtful that Tony would willingly give them up, especially if he had pressure to.

“Point. But that would make sense,” Rhodey points out.

“Maybe. But it doesn’t seem likely considering who they took.” This was too planned for Bucky’s liking, even if it was clearly hastily planned. What changed? Why choose to cover their asses later rather than right away? What information made this necessary to the kidnapper?

“Look, I know neither of us really want to consider it but we don’t really know Tony that well, I mean it’s _possible_ -” the fact that Rhodey doesn’t even finish the sentence shows how invested he was in that idea.

“Tony seems to have a vendetta against authority figures, if he doesn’t respect them he actively makes their life worse, especially if they if they react negatively. He hates Steve,” Bucky points out.

“Everyone has a breaking point,” Rhodey says.

“In like a _day_ , two at the most considering when the tracks were laid out? Come on, one breaks that fast,” Bucky says. Rhodey gives him a _look_ and Bucky sighs, “so my record is five minutes but does Tony seem like a five minute job?” Bucky asks.

Rhodey considers it, really considers it, and finally he shakes his head. “No, you’re right, Tony doesn’t do authority figures well. Even with T’Challa he pretends to listen because he wants to, not because he would have anyways even though that’s why he followed through on whatever T’Challa told him to. He isn’t the type I’d anticipate would cooperate so why the extra trails? There must be some reason, one that didn’t exist at first given that the extra tracks were added later. What changed?” Rhodey asks, more to himself than Bucky.

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, frowning at the trails. He wasn’t even sure _what_ would have changed to require this. It was well known that authorities didn’t care about people who didn’t live in the city and neither Tony nor Sam were from the city so the extra effort wasn’t needed.

“Maybe they’re a new group. It isn’t unheard of and it would explain why this was so sloppy,” Rhodey says. Bucky nods in agreement but that didn’t quite sit well with him, something was missing but he didn’t know what.

*

Howard drops his head into his hands because there was _still_ no word on Tony, they still hadn’t figured out how to stop that ban he put on his being missing, JARVIS refused to crack, and now there was a weird number of plague outbreaks. New strains from what he’s been told and that didn’t even make _sense_. They had the outbreaks under control, damnit, what the hell was this new shit?

His research showed that the outbreaks were all traced back to buildings outside the city that had had recent break ins but that didn’t explain the new strains. It wasn’t like people outside the city had different plagues, that was absurd. They didn’t exist in a vacuum, they weren’t isolated enough to develop their own strains. That knowledge just made all this business ten times more frustrating and Obadiah was hardly being cooperative. It was easiest to just go to the locations these new plague strains were coming from and find the common link, there had to be _something_ , but Obadiah kept insisting that that wasn’t necessary.

He wasn’t sure what city Obadiah was living in but this one needed some damn answers and if going out to the locations the new strains were consistently being linked back to was the solution than great. Howard sighs and pulls himself together a little more because he needed to, at the least, keep himself together for the purposes of keeping the people in the city from getting sick. Truth be told he was more doing this for Tony’s benefit than anyone else’s. There was no way Tony was dead like Obi kept hinting around, he was too resourceful and smart for that. More likely he’s found himself somewhere to hide and he was refusing to move, or at least not much. Clearly he’s gotten news of his own disappearance and Howard was hard pressed to believe that he died sometime after that.

Tony wasn’t dead and when he did finally come back, or if he was found, Howard didn’t want him to come back to… well, to his childhood. He knew he fucked up huge with Tony and he understood why Tony was so resistant to him now but he was trying. There was nothing he could do to make up for being an absent and drunk father for the majority of Tony’s life but he could prevent that from happening again. Tony deserved better than that and Howard should have realized that far sooner.

Maria would have kicked his ass if she were still around to do it. She would be well within her rights to at least. Granted he hadn’t been good to her either, he’d been half in the bottle long before she died but that pushed him over the edge and Tony suffered for it. The whole damn city would have suffered for it if it weren’t for Obi. Thankfully the man realized Howard was in no condition to take care of himself let alone the legal business he had to attend to and he had taken over. When Jarvis and Anna were still around they helped with Tony but they had eventually gotten sick and passed within hours of each other. Tony had been devastated.

Howard supposed if he had been left to a man that didn’t even know he existed half the time he would have been devastated too. Actually he did know what that was like considering his own father had been abusive and his mother absent. It was like he had taken the worst traits of both of them and combined them and Tony had been the one to pay. So now he had to deal with the fact that his son was missing and that was likely because he was running from a life of abuse. Howard was fairly certain he was going to hell for that and he damn well deserved it too.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Constance_Truggle, who has been asking some questions that get answered in this chapter :)
> 
> Also Extremis is a weird mix of comic Extremis and IM3 Extremis, but y'all should be able to follow.

Tony was tired and he wanted to give in but he wasn’t the giving in type. He held out if for no other reason than spite to these assholes. First off Dunk Tony wasn’t a very fun fucking game and it wasn’t even getting them anywhere. At this point he knew how to properly anticipate when to hold his breath, when to let it out, and when to breathe. When your target figures out how to thwart your torture you should probably pursue another career.

Maya was fucking intent on getting that formula right though and Tony was not appreciative of the efforts to step up their game. There was still no word on Sam and Tony didn’t want to ask in case they decided to use him as leverage to get what they wanted. It was bad enough that Sam was here at all; Tony didn’t want to put him in more danger. Sam had already implied he’d been part of some sort of testing or something and Tony didn’t want to make that all happen again because of him. Enough people have been hurt by his negligence with this shit; he didn’t need to add another person to the list.

“Look, you either balance the fucking formula or we inject you with Extremis and watch how fast you work then,” Maya snaps, clearly at her wits end with his refusal to give up.

He snorts because that was the fucking dumbest plan he had ever heard. “By all means go ahead, if you’re willing to set off a bomb in your own lab than go the fuck ahead. You’ll ruin all your work and secure your place in hell. Actually you’re place is already pretty secured with all the, you know, _murder_ but killing a god can’t hurt your chances,” he quips. He might not believe that shit but her idiot assistant Killian did if his looking away nervously was any indication. He suspected Maya wasn’t a believer, or if she was she’s given up hope, because she didn’t seem much concerned with Tony’s wrath. Granted he didn’t _have_ any wrath but still, it was the principal of the thing.

For a moment Maya doesn’t know what to do because she didn’t seem to think that Tony would come out with _that_ of all things. They stare at each other for a moment before she stands up, snapping her fingers at Killian to follow her, “you’re going to regret this,” she hisses and stomps out of the room. Tony rolls his eyes because he wasn’t about to regret anything, thank you. He sits there for a total of maybe ten minutes before Maya walks back in with a syringe in her hand. With no warning she jabs the damn thing into his neck and injects the damn liquid.

“First off fuck you, ouch! Second, I am just as resolved to my fate so this has solved nothing,” he snaps, itching to rub the injection site but his hands were tied behind him. This sucked.

“Oh I’m confident that you don’t care much about your own life but you have a conscience, lets see if you can kill someone else,” she says, turning on her heel and walking out of the room. He’s like eighty percent sure she’s been taking ‘how to be a villain’ lessons because there really was no need for the dramatics.

It takes a moment or two but someone else enters the room, shoving Sam in ahead of him before releasing Tony from his bonds. Sam’s wrists remained bound but Tony frees him pretty much immediately. “So uh, sorry about this but I have about a day and half to live before I blow up and I’m going to need you to find a spot that’s at least somewhat less likely to die in,” he says bluntly, not having time to sugar coat this. He could probably build something for Sam to use as protection in what little time he had left but he had no idea if it would be any effective without seeing a blast site for himself and he doubted that was going to happen.

Sam frowns, “o…kay? Why do these people even think you can do anything about this? You’re an engineer, and I mean your talented, but this isn’t your field of expertise,” Sam points out. Tony takes the compliment and savors it for a moment because Sam was about to hate him.

He takes a deep breath, “because I’m Tony Stark and I almost had this figure out years ago,” he says. He’d give Sam credit for not punching him out for that because he’d probably punch himself.

Instead Sam looks hurt and that’s somehow worse, “so Steve was right about you,” he says.

“Yeah pretty much, except for the weird bits about me having some agenda, I don’t have an agenda,” he says. Frankly he didn’t care about any of them enough, at least at first, to have an ulterior motive and even now all he wanted was to go home and pass out with Bucky.

“Really? Because it sure as hell looks like you have an agenda,” Sam says, eyebrows raised.

Tony makes a face, “to whom? I don’t know if you heard me but I’m about to _die_ , where in that do you see some master plan to like… I don’t know, take over the world or some shit.”

Sam crosses his arms, “how do I even know that’s true? What if you just lured me here for testing?” Sam asks and Tony can’t help it, he scoffs.

“Oh yeah, I ran off from home to find a very specific group of people in the middle of terrain I have no familiarity with because of course your group specifically holds some significance to me for me to seek you out. And then I stick around to gain your trust for months, helping you out in a bunch of different ways for no apparent reason considering I only managed to snatch one of you. To add insult to injury I manage to snatch someone who doesn’t already have superhuman abilities like Steve or Bucky, and then I inject myself with Extremis all to make my ruse look believable. Give me a fucking break, Sam, that’s the most lax, bullshit, probably would go wrong in every way plan in existence,” he snaps, rolling his eyes. Maybe he should be more respectful given that Sam did have every right to be angry but the suggestion that this was planned was fucking stupid.

Thankfully Sam takes a second to think that over and he seems to come to the same conclusion, not that he looked any less suspicious. “Why’d you leave the city? You were living in the lap of luxury I’m sure so why would you want to leave that? And how come you never complained? I can’t imagine that huge of a downgrade would be easy. And what about Bucky? And the rest of us? Was that all fake or…?” Sam trails off, frowning to himself. Stuck on why Tony would leave the city with zero complaints about his new environment, Tony was sure.

“I left because I was tired of being a god, tired of people using me as a prayer tool and a symbol of prosperity and hope when I didn’t even believe in that. I ended up with your group out of pure chance, and no, none of my feelings are fake. I didn’t complain because I had no fucking clue that conditions outside the city even looked the way they are, at first I was too shocked. And then I was more determined to help than complain. I might not be the person who did all this but I sure as hell didn’t do anything to stop it, clearly I wasn’t paying enough attention. This is at least partially my fault and pretty much every day I learned something new and more horrifying, none of this information was immediately available in the city. It was more important to me to learn more and help where I could than it was to insult my living conditions,” he says. He’s tired and sore and he wants to go to sleep but Sam deserved the truth, he’s earned that much.

He doesn’t say anything as Sam takes that all in, “you really had no idea, like about anything?” he asks eventually.

“I knew nothing, I wasn’t much interested in looking past my own problems either so. But being outside my ascribed social role has taught me a hell of a lot, and not really anything pleasant either. But it was all necessary information to learn,” he says softly, looking away.

“You need to go back,” Sam says with force, “you can stop all this!”

Tony laughs harshly, “all this happened under my nose, what makes you think I have the power to change anything? And even if I did I don’t have nearly enough information and without the full scope of what I’m dealing with there’s no point in going back. Without a full picture of what horrifying human rights violations there are out here I can’t be fully effective,” he says.

At least Sam seems to accept this, if a little grudgingly, “fine. So you have a point but you best get your ass back to that city as soon as you do because you have a lot of shit to fix,” Sam snaps.

“What makes you even think I _can_ fix this?” He was currently a victim of _this_.

“Do you not hear people pray to you?” Sam asks, looking mildly horrified.

“No, because I’m not a fucking god, did we not cover that?” he snaps back, getting closer to his wits end here.

“At the hospital, asshole, you have working ears I presume,” Sam says sarcastically.

“Yeah, lot of good that did anyone there. They’re all dying and they’re praying to a god that doesn’t exist. I feel bad for them, praying to me because they think I can help when I’m at least half the reason they’re dying,” he says softly.

Sam shakes his head, “you showed up when things were taking a turn for the worst, more people were dying than living and then you show up and suddenly people were leaving in something other than a metaphorical body bag. Maybe you don’t think you have power but you do, I’ve seen it,” Tony opens his mouth and Sam holds up his hand, “look, we can argue about your divinity all day but we don’t have that kind of time. They injected me with Extremis too and I’d really appreciate not dying today,” Sam says.

Tony pinches his nose and blows out a hot breath, “fuck,” he mumbles.

“Fuck is right, you just breathed out _fire_ , that shit is working way faster than we thought it would,” Sam says, a slight panicky edge to his tone.

*

Howard stands outside Pepper Pott’s home. Or at least he hoped this was Pepper’s house, it didn’t much look like more than an oversized shack. Didn’t she get a good enough wage to afford better? She should. He shakes his head and steps up to the door and knocks, hoping to hell this would work. He had no idea if Pepper would even be inclined to help but she was his best shot at getting into Tony’s lab and maybe even talking to JARVIS. That goddamn computer system was unhackable and it was sarcastic enough to make Howard want to rip his hair out. How the hell Tony programed _sarcasm_ into a computer program’s code he had no idea but he wanted it gone immediately. The AI liked to comment on his breakfast foods.

Pepper opens the door and momentarily looks surprised, “Mr. Stark. I have no idea why you would be here considering you fired me,” she says and her tone is pleasant enough but there’s an undercurrent of anger to it. So that’s where Tony got that irritating ability to sound pleasant and annoyed at the same time.

But right now he had more pressing matters, “what? I didn’t fire you? When the hell did that happen? You know what, who cares, you’re hired back and if you could please get JARVIS to talk I’d be eternally grateful,” he blurts. He resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose or punch something; all he wanted was for his kid to be okay and for that fucking AI system to stay out of his shit.

“JARVIS? Oh he won’t be going anywhere, Tony built him specifically to keep his work from being picked up by the wrong people. Sorry,” Pepper says, not sounding very sorry at all.

“There has to be _someone_ who can access the AI, I figured you would be my best bet since you’re like one of three people he actually likes,” Howard says, resisting the urge to fidget or beg. He did have _some_ dignity left.

“I highly doubt he would have let anyone into his systems, he isn’t the most trusting of people,” Pepper says, her eyes narrowed and her tone almost accusatory. Howard looks away because he knew full well he was the reason for that. If he had’ve gotten his shit together, if he never drank…

He should have known what would happen anyways, his father was an alcoholic and a mean drunk before him. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he would likely be the same, and Tony too though he wasn’t legally allowed to drink. He supposed he could thank his lucky stars for that, that at least Tony would be saved from an alcohol induced spiral downwards. “No, he isn’t,” Howard agrees, “but he trusted you. Please.”

*

Pepper wanted nothing to do with this plan to blatantly invade Tony’s privacy and she wanted to tell Howard that effectively breaking into Tony’s diary was not a good method of trust building but she kept her mouth shut. It was doubtful that JARVIS would even let her into the lab let alone give her any information so there was no need to insult the elder Stark, even if she really wanted to. She had been around long enough to see the worst of the man’s behavior and she rather wanted to punch him most of the time.

She suspected Tony did as well and in that respect he had always had more self-control than her. Tony, somehow, managed to put up with people ignoring near everything he said and did, somehow managed to live with the consequences of people consistently misreading near every action of his. Pepper preferred things clear-cut and obvious so she would have insisted on correcting every misconstrued statement. Truth be told she didn’t think Tony had the energy to do that and she didn’t have the right social standing to help him out with that.

If it wasn’t for Howard Stark Tony might have learned that his voice mattered but no, the man was abusive and cruel to his child. Tony hinted that he hadn’t been any nicer to his mother and it was clear that that hadn’t had much of a positive effect on his life. She wished she could have done more for Tony but she did the best she could with what she had.

Needless to say she was not expecting anything when she walks up to the doors to Tony’s lab, so when the AI greets her and lets her in she’s more than a little surprised. “I… uh… what?” she asks eloquently, frowning at the surprisingly neat surroundings. Tony was never clean in the lab, claimed that cleanliness was distracting or something. Pepper thought he was a nut but it wasn’t her lab she guessed.

“If you would be so inclined it would be deeply preferred if you keep all information you find in here to yourself,” the AI tells her. That didn’t explain much but she nods anyways, she never intended to tell Howard of anything sue learned in here anyways. She didn’t even think she would be let in, but now that she was she certainly wasn’t going to abuse Tony’s trust. Unlike his father she cared about his feelings. “Excellent,” the AI says, “now would be a good time to sit, this will take awhile.” She follows the instructions and settles into Tony’s chair to learn whatever it was that the AI had set out for her.

By the time she leaves she’s pale and shaken from the information the AI had been digging up under Tony’s instruction but JARVIS was insistent that _someone_ know. What she was supposed to do she had no clue but she listened to what the AI had to say and hoped to hell that Tony came back because this was huge and people were far more likely to listen to him than her. When Howard asks what JARVIS has to say she makes up some story about an apology video Tony made for her because she had no idea how involved in this he was, or if he was involved at all. JARVIS hadn’t looked into it and Pepper was astounded to find that the AI seemed to be doing so out of… _compassion_ for his creator. It appeared that the AI didn’t want to hurt him by linking his father to all the information he had gathered.

Thankfully Howard buys her story and she flees the scene.

*

They don’t have much time to test whether or not the revised version of Extremis was safe for the other to be injected so they suck it up and stick each other. Tony was fairly certain Sam got at least a little satisfaction from that and fine, so he should. But over the last few hours of questioning on Sam’s end he seemed to come to an understanding that Tony’s life was not what he thought it was. He was certain Sam still thought he was a spoiled rich brat but he had a lot of evidence that indicated otherwise so he keeps that to himself. On average Tony did more than anyone else in the group, it didn’t much fit with the bratty rich kid image Sam certainly had of him now.

Because of course the new information completely overshadowed everything the man already knew. This was why Tony kept this knowledge to himself in the first place, because as soon as someone knew that was all they saw. He understood why Sam was upset that he had technically lied about his identity, that made sense, but he was less than impressed with Sam’s fresh assumptions that he was suddenly a whole new person. His identity, the things Sam knew, shouldn’t be completely erased because he knew Tony’s last name. All the things Sam had admired or hated were still there, being a Stark didn’t change that, and it was irritating that Sam ignored most of that information full stop now. Because obviously what Sam thought was true outweighed what he had _witnessed_ to be true.

Neither of them got much time to worry about it before the pain started and they both end up on the floor panting in pain as their bodies changed with the virus. Whatever they had been injected with before, it wasn’t this painful. Tony had felt pain yes, and so had Sam, but it had been manageable, no worse than a bad migraine. This felt like he was being stuck through a meat grinder dick first. “Fuck you,” Sam tells him from the ground, shaking hard.

“I’m suffering too asshole,” he snaps, clenching his jaw as a new wave of pain takes over and he nearly passes out from it. Sam lets out a string of expletives but Tony keeps his jaw firmly shut, used to holding the pain in. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’s had to deal with pain all over, though he had to admit this was a new situation and he didn’t much like it. At first he doesn’t notice that the pain had started to subside but eventually it leveled out enough that he could breath again. He lies there for a moment to catch his breath before he looks over at Sam, who was glaring at him. “I saved your ass,” he grumbles, “be appreciative.”

“Eat me,” Sam snaps, “that fucking _hurt_.”

“Yeah Sam, that hurt. Can you hear buzzing?” he asks, rubbing his forehead. He felt like he should have a headache but he didn’t. That was weird.

“Yeah, can you feel that computer?” Sam asks and for a moment Tony thinks of calling him an idiot. Except he _could_ feel that computer and when he concentrated on it for a moment the thing turned on.

“Was that you? Because I’m pretty sure that didn’t work before,” Sam says. Yeah, they had tried it and it hadn’t done anything.

“I… don’t know?” he says but his voice goes up a bit at the end as if that was a question. He figures it could hurt to concentrate on it a bit more but instead of the computer his mind supplies something else entirely. Code, he realizes, and it doesn’t take long to sift through it to find actual images and files and information and- Sam shakes him and pulls him out of it. “Hey, I found like a shit ton of information! Like _everything_ , Sam, I can get into their systems with my _mind_ , that wasn’t even an intended side effect! I think I might have made us technopaths. You can control Redwing with your _mind_ ,” he says excitedly. Oh they were so fucked if he could control their systems, they could pretty much just walk out!

Sam goes to speak but pauses at the Redwing thing for a moment before he grins, “I forgive you,” he says.

“Really?” Tony asks because that was easy.

Sam stops smiling, “no. But that technopath thing, that was weird. You were staring at that wall with this blank look on your face for like ten minutes. You didn’t even _blink_ , it was creepy,” Sam tells him.

“Who cares how creepy I was, we can access their systems Sam, we can get out of here,” he says excitedly. That’s about when they hear the blast.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit short but it needed an update lol. Enjoy!

Clint and Coulson had a system that worked. They liked Steve and the rest of the group well enough but they had secrets to hide and things to do so they came and went as they pleased. They always made sure to bring something back from their travels to throw off suspicion, plus T’Challa was a considerable amount of help in making sure people didn’t question things too much. Clint appreciated that.

He also appreciated Phil’s ass while he took down these assholes because yeah, that was hot. He was sure if Phil noticed he would scold Clint but he hardly needed to look at his targets anyways, his aim was just that awesome. “Pay attention, Clint,” Phil scolds as they move further into the small building. They had cased it out a while ago to determine how many people were here on average and what they layout looked like. It wasn’t anything they couldn’t handle so they had gone for it. Needless to say they did not expect fire-breathing nuts with super strength. They also did not anticipate one of them blowing up on their own.

“Well I guess we don’t have to deal with that guy,” Phil says, peering around the wall they had ducked behind. It must be reinforced because it didn’t blow with the random fire breathing person-turned-experiment.

“Yeah, but now we have to guess which ones are human bombs and which ones are just regular people,” Clint says. What a fucking pain in his ass.

“Ahh, we’ll punch him in the face a few times and see if they start glowing. Then we duck for cover,” Phil says, grinning. Clint rolls his eyes and tells him that’s a horrible method of dealing with human bombs but Phil Coulson is a true adrenaline junkie. It wouldn’t have been something he guessed about Phil when they first met considering how straight-laced he seemed, but after five minutes and a blown up farmer’s market he figured it out. Rhodey used to make jokes that Phil couldn’t go anywhere without either setting something on fire or blowing it up within minutes and it really did ring true. Clint had always been curious about that, how Rhodey didn’t know, but Phil was crazy resourceful, if anyone could keep a secret like that it’d be him.

They make their way through the building and come to a stop when they find Sam and Tony attempting to fight their way out. Okay Sam was fighting his way out; Tony was far less interested in combat. Clint could see the inexperience so it was probably best he avoided the fight. “Hey guys, fancy meeting you here,” he says, firing an arrow at the nearest scientist. The guy tries to duck but Clint had anticipated that. The trick was to aim where your target was _going_ to be when the arrow connected. He had yet to have a person pick up on that but he wasn’t complaining.

“Yeah great, fancy getting us _out_ of here?” Tony asks, huffing away like he’d run a marathon. Clearly the guy was out of shape but Clint wasn’t one to judge. If he had access to junk food and television his life would be made. Oh, and coffee.

“Sure,” Phil chirps and they go back to kicking ass while Tony does his best not to die in combat. If there wasn’t a very real chance he was going to die it would be kind of hilarious watching him flail around but he was in real danger and Clint didn’t really want to see the guy go. It was rare that he found someone that agreed with the whole omegas not being gods thing, he liked having a kindred sprit around to talk theology with. He doesn’t, however, anticipate someone surprising Tony only to have him turn around and punch the guy so hard he flew down the hallway.

“Uh, you two aren’t one of those human bombs, are you?” Clint asks as another person goes down at his feet. What, did they all fucking congregate in this damn hallway?

“Technically yes, but right now no. I balanced the formula and- oh for fuck sakes get _away_ from me,” Tony snaps, punching another person but this one went though a _wall_. “Guess it increased our strength tenfold, uh, ‘us’ because Sam has also been injected and cured. I suppose that explains how we got that door open so easily,” he mumbles.

“Tony’s an omega,” Sam blurts and Tony whirls around to face him.

“What the hell, man! That was uncalled for!” he says dramatically, looking offended.

“I had to tell someone, if you think I’m keeping your secret you’ve got another thing coming asshole, people deserve to know!” Sam tells him. He doesn’t look impressed but Clint doesn’t really sympathize. Not as much as he did with Tony anyways, it was tough to be a god and everyone thought it was all finger snapping and getting shit done. Things were rarely that black and white but it didn’t stop people from either deifying or demonizing omegas based on how perceivably effective they were at fulfilling public needs.

The problem with that was that fulfilling the public’s wishes didn’t always align with what was right and that landed omegas in some hot shit sometimes, but Sam wouldn’t know that. Wouldn’t even think to ask because all he saw was a symbol of hope and salvation instead of a man who was trying his best.

“Told you,” Phil says smugly, “you owe chips.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Clint mumbles, “I’ll hand ‘em over when we get home.”

Sam looks between them all in disbelief, “do you not care?” he asks, shocked.

“No, don’t much see why I would. You might as well have blurted out ‘he’s a beta!’ for all I care. Looks like we’ve made it through the security crew, lets set this shit on fire and make a run for it,” Clint tells them. Phil starts doling out instructions before Sam can interrupt with some more omega shit. Tony was far more knowledgeable about explosives and Clint was happy for it, he didn’t want any of this left for anyone to find. Some seriously fucked up shit has happened in those labs and no one deserved to suffer like that. Never again.

They manage to rig things relatively easily thanks to Tony’s expertise on the subject and they back off to their get away vehicle. “We’ve got ten seconds once I press this button,” Tony tells them, “and to avoid the cameras-”

“Take the side roads out, the ones closest to the city wall,” Phil says, interrupting Tony, “we know. This isn’t the first lab we’ve blown up.” He looks excited about it too but if that was because Phil was always a fan of explosion or if he was happy that the shit that happened here wasn’t going to happen anymore he had no clue.

“Great. I pressed the button, you guys need to fucking drive,” Tony says, waving his arm around while Sam looked at him like he was nuts. Phil steps on the gas and they peel off, leaving the building behind them as they go.

They were half way down the street when the explosives go off and none of them look back.

*

Bucky and Rhodey find them completely by accident. They had been trying to figure out how the fuck to get over that wall (or through it) for the last two days when Clint, Phil, Sam, and Tony roll up. “What the hell are you guys doing out here?” Phil asks as he slows down the van they’re in, frowning at them.

“Looking for these assholes,” Rhodey says as Tony all but flies out of the vehicle and into Bucky’s arms. Bucky lifts him off the ground and Tony wraps his legs around Bucky’s waist, tucking his face into Bucky’s neck.

“I missed you,” he says softly. Bucky can feel him shaking and he doesn’t even want to thin about what happened to Tony because it was painful and too close to home for him.

“I missed you too,” Bucky whispers, holding Tony tight.

“Yeah, yeah, no love for me. I get it, clearly I’m not good enough,” Rhodey laments.

Tony laughs softly and slowly detaches himself from Bucky, “relax Rhodes, I love you too,” he says, grinning. Bucky found the statement odd considering he hadn’t said he loved anyone, at least not out loud.

Rhodey frowns, “how’d you figure out my last name?” he asks.

“I… didn’t? I just thought Rhodey was too long so I went with Rhodes. Guess I’m just that good,” he quips but it falls flat in the face of exhaustion.

“You’re tired,” Bucky says, “there’s no sense in staying around to chat. Lets get you home, Sam too,” he says, looking up to find Sam giving Tony an odd look, like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it. Whatever it was Sam was keeping to himself he wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t seem intent on sharing either. By the time they work out how they were getting back to the hospital Bucky had forgotten anyways.

“You think he’s okay?” Rhodey asks, glancing at Bucky in the rear view mirror. Tony’s head was in his lap and he was running his fingers through his hair. He had fallen asleep relatively fast, which was more than a little unusual and that worried Bucky greatly.

“Fuck no. But he might not be that messed up considering, depends on how he reacts I guess,” Bucky says quietly. Everyone reacted to things in different ways, like Steve, he had gotten harder, more protective, _too_ protective. But Rhodey was still soft, he formed connections easily and he knew when to let go or hang on. Sam reacted similarly, and T’Challa coped by keeping his distance emotionally but staying involved otherwise. Bucky, well, he didn’t know how he reacted to anything because his reactions were his handler’s reactions, and then they were Steve’s. But he was learning slowly, testing the limits, figuring out where his will started and Steve’s stopped. It was more difficult than he thought but he was managing.

And Tony, well, he was the all in or all in or all out kind of guy. Something told Bucky that Tony was going to go way over the edge or he’d be just fine given the circumstances. “Tony’s tough,” Rhodey says, “he’ll be fine. I hope.” He says that last bit far quieter than the rest, forgetting that Bucky had super hearing and would have heard that anyways. It’s been a long time since Rhodey had found someone he connected to this much and for his sake Bucky hoped Tony would be okay. Rhodey deserved happiness and friends and he really didn’t have a lot of those. The person he was closest to had been Phil and Phil had long since moved on to Clint.

It must have been heartbreaking, Bucky thinks, but he has no experience with heartbreak because the only person he’s ever lost was himself.

*

T’Challa doesn’t expect them all to come back at once and he doesn’t bother to ask too many questions. He trusted that Phil was doing as much good as he could and he had no clue how Tony and Sam managed to factor in. Frankly he didn’t care, he has seen and heard enough horror stories for a thousand lifetimes and he did not need to add two more. Sam though, he was intent on being heard and T’Challa may not want to hear it but he was not a selfish man. If Sam thought he had something to say he would listen, even if he didn’t want to.

Thankfully he doesn’t care that Phil and Clint are in the room because T’Challa had no desire to remove them. They were the closest thing he had to family here having shared a surprising amount of life experiences. “He’s an omega,” Sam blurts and T’Challa feels ten times more tired than he had ten seconds before.

“And this is relevant because?” T’Challa asks, sounding as exhausted as he felt. Sam looks incredulous, seemingly not understanding why T’Challa didn’t care about Tony’s A/B/O score.

“That… he… of course it’s relevant!” Sam snaps, throwing his hands up, “what is it with you people! This is important information!”

“No it isn’t, not any more important than you being a beta or Steve and Bucky being alphas. It’s just a score Sam, let it go,” he says calmly. Someone lays a hand on his shoulder, Phil judging by the size of the hand, and he appreciates the show of support.

Sam sputters for a moment, at al loss, “why don’t you care?” he asks finally. His voice is small, betrayed T’Challa thinks, and he looks lost as to why no one thought this was as important as he did.

“Because it would be hypocritical,” T’Challa says. He was tired of keeping secrets and Sam was tenacious, he’d have a new argument every five minutes as to why T’Challa should care about Tony being an omega and he didn’t want to hear it. Part of him wonders if he was the missing Tony Stark but he wasn’t going to ask. He didn’t ask Phil too many questions and in turn Phil didn’t ask him much either. Tony was a common name and T’Challa was content to give him his privacy even if he was the missing Stark. Something drove him away and T’Challa understood, even if he didn’t want to.

If Sam looked lost before he looked doubly lost now, “I… hypocritical?” he asks, frowning just a bit, like he was trying to figure out a particularly difficult problem.

“Yes, it would be hypocritical to care that Tony is an omega when I am too,” he says bluntly, leaving no room for misinterpretation there. For a moment Sam does nothing before he throws up his hands and walks out.

“Well,” Phil says, “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Now you know how I felt when you dropped that bomb on me,” Clint says, “like ‘oh hey, by the way, people consider me a god’. That has got to make the top five things I never thought I’d hear my boyfriend say,” Clint grumbles, sighing dramatically.

“The last thing I thought I’d hear my boyfriend say was that he was raised in a circus so I win,” Phil says, smiling pleasantly at Clint, who rolls his eyes in response. He tells Phil that he does not appreciate the delicacy of the information he dropped and walks off after informing them that he was off to go steal some of the reserve two-ply toilet paper.

“I wish I had that super power,” Phil says.

“As do I. He really does seem lucky,” he says quietly. He didn’t ascribe to the god system but he had to admit that Tony was too good to be true. They all had their talents yes, but Tony turned everything he touched into gold. It made T’Challa wonder what his story was but until he was willing to reveal his own tale he would not ask for Tony’s. That was only fair of him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking an english course on contagions in literature and now I wanna know if I've unintentionally included themes of the course in this lol. We shall see :)
> 
> Also this chapter is very sad?? I don't know how it came to this but yeah, sorry for the angst guys.

Tony hadn’t fucking seen that coming, that was for sure. “How the hell did you manage to change your smells?” he asks, looking back and forth between Phil and T’Challa but mostly T’Challa. He smelled more like an alpha than anything and so Tony had made the assumption that that’s what he was. Clearly that wasn’t the case but how the hell had he managed to alter his scent so completely?

“I haven’t, that’s why I come and go so much,” Phil says, “you must have irregular cycles,” he notes. Yeah, Tony had noticed that too but the change of diet and added stress accounted for all changes to his regular schedule. Which he was more than a little grateful for, thanks, because heats sucked.

“I have my ways,” T’Challa says mysteriously and honestly Tony could do without the mystery but he isn’t going to press his luck. T’Challa has been good so far with his lack of questions so Tony wasn’t about to test that.

“How have you managed to block your scent? Assuming you’ve even had a heat, have you?” Phil asks, frowning like he was trying and failing to remember Tony’s cycle.

“When you were out, yeah. I mean everyone thought I had the plague because heats and plague have a lot of similar symptoms but yeah, clearly I didn’t have the plague. And I have suppressants, I bribed them off a few omegas I ran into, uh, awhile ago,” he says vaguely. It wasn’t like it was false information exactly, but it wasn’t the most accurate description of the exchange. Though he supposed it was quite awhile ago, almost five months.

“You should share,” Phil says, giving Tony that pleasant smile he liked to wear when he was trying to sweet-talk Clint.

“Fuck you, get your own,” Tony tells him, “or bug T’Challa fir his secret, his secret is way better than mine because he smells like a whole new thing.” He was jealous, really, but T’Challa’s scent blocking secrets were his to keep, even if Tony absolutely wanted to pick T’Challa’s brain.

“I should have left you at that lab,” Phil says, giving him a dirty look. Tony snorts because they both know that Phil would have never left anyone at that lab, Tony included.

“So uh, what are we going to do about the Sam problem?” Tony asks because it _was_ a problem. He’s been making snide comments to Tony near non-stop and frankly Tony’s patience were running thin. He had been nice enough to tell the guy the truth, because Sam wasn’t wrong about him owing them at least that, but Tony figured he was owed basic decency in return. It wasn’t like you couldn’t be angry and not an asshole at the same time but no, apparently Tony didn’t just owe everyone his A/B/O score, no, he owed them all his life too. But things weren’t as simple as Tony showing up and saying ‘stop being a bunch of dicks and running illegal experiments on people!’ He wished it _was_ that simple, but these things must run a pretty fucking deep root in various government systems and Tony wasn’t willing to risk missing something because he was too busy playing literal god to notice.

T’Challa snorts, “oh I doubt Sam will be saying anything anytime soon, not after two attempts went disastrously. For not I assume he will stick to passive aggressive comments that irritate us all but make him feel better.” And that, well, Tony supposed it made sense. So maybe he wasn’t all that fond of Sam’s passive-aggressive attitude but it was better than the alternative.

*

Yinsen looked like _shit_. “I thought you were getting better,” Tony says, gently wiping a damp cloth over the poor man’s forehead.

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” Yinsen says quietly and in hindsight that’s when Tony knew. There was a feeling you got, sometimes, when people were going to die. You’d know, something in the back of your head informed you that this was the last time you were ever going to see them alive and you ignored it. Of _course_ you ignored it because no one ever wanted to see someone die, especially someone you loved or otherwise cared about. But you knew because there were certain people you just connected to on that level. Tony had gotten that feeling when he heard the door slam when his mother left for the last time and he had the same feeling now.

“That isn’t true,” Tony says, “you’ve already got this far. I mean you’ve pretty much defied what everyone here thought plague looked like so it stands to reason that you’ll be okay. _Please_ be okay,” he says, sounding far more desperate than he meant to at that last bit. His eyes kind of hurt, like he’s holding back tears but he doesn’t know why because Yinsen was fine, he was _fine_ , he was going to be fine.

“You know as well as I why my symptoms presented differently for me. Don’t look so upset Tony; my life has been good considering. Even if it hadn’t been you’ve made these last few months better, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a good conversation. It’s been even longer since I could tell anyone what I was without consequence. Thank you,” he says and Tony’s eyes burn more. He blinks to keep the tears back because he was not okay with this, not okay with Yinsen _dying_. He was a good man, he didn’t _deserve_ this. Tony must have accidentally said that last bit out loud because Yinsen smiles softly, sadly, “that isn’t how death works, Tony. You know that.”

Fucking right he knew that, he was _tired_ of knowing that. Why had it been his mother that died when Howard was the one who deserved it? Why did Yinsen have to be the one to die when he was far more willing to do this whole god thing than Tony? Why leave the least deserving behind? It made no fucking sense and Tony wanted to _scream_ because this was so god damn unfair. And people wondered why the world went to shit, well, that was because all the good died, and what was left behind was tortured in labs until there was nothing left.

“Tony,” Yinsen says and he looks up, “you have so little faith in yourself but you have so much to give, so much that you’ve given already. You’re a good man, Tony, don’t waste your life.” And those were the last words Yinsen would ever speak, wasted on a false god.

He punches a wall and he’s frustrated when the wall breaks instead of his fist.

*

Greif is something Steve was all too familiar with and it was clear no one knew how to handle Tony. They had near nothing in common, Steve thinks, except maybe the need to destroy everything in sight when someone they loved died. Tony had more control than Steve though; because where he would lash out Tony just walks away, content to take his grief out on something he felt deserved it more. Sam had gotten rather violently chewed out but Steve hadn’t been able to follow the argument. It was clearly a continuation of some argument the two had had at a previous date but Tony’s harsh laugh and cruel words left Sam visibly shaken, fearful even, and Steve didn’t understand that either.

What he did understand was the need to beat the hell out of something, to blame something for your grief, to let out all those pent up emotions. Of course Tony needed a suitable target because Sam clearly hadn’t done it and he seemed intent on at least only taking out his anger on those he felt deserved it, even if Bucky did get a poisonous glare for trying to help. But Tony had walked away after, obviously recognizing he was in no mood to talk.

Maybe they didn’t have anything in common on any given occasion but Steve knew what it was like to lose someone and want to watch the world burn for it.

“Tony,” he says and he whips around almost too fast to see and Steve’s impressed. Sam had explained Extremis and a few of the symptoms that came with it. Super strength, some pyrokinesis, a mental connection to technology, there was probably more but neither Sam nor Tony have made any efforts to test the full range of their abilities yet. Whatever Tony did to that serum it left him on a more equal strength with Steve so he didn’t feel particularly bad for doing this. “Punch me,” he says.

In his defense Tony actually takes a moment to consider it when Steve probably wouldn’t. If he were Tony he’d be dying to punch himself by now, it wasn’t like he had been pleasant to him. “No,” Tony says and he turns back around. Steve rolls his eyes because of course he would choose _now_ to decide he didn’t hate Steve enough to want to hurt him. It hasn’t like he hasn’t watched Tony consider it before but he didn’t think now would be the time Tony would use logic.

Fine then, if he wasn’t going to cooperate Steve would damn well make him because thus far Tony was damn good at keeping thing reined in and that was the last thing someone needed in a situation like this. “You know it was inevitable, right?” he says and Tony’s jaw twitches but he doesn’t move. Steve sighs internally, “they almost all die, he was never any different just because you cared about him. Honestly he didn’t seem particularly special anyways so I don’t see why you care at-” Tony whirls and back hands Steve _hard_. He doesn’t expect to go flying but thankfully Tony isn’t the first person with some sort of enhancement he’s ever dealt with so he recovers fast.

Tony’s sloppy, clearly doesn’t know how to fight, but it doesn’t matter when you’re that angry. It becomes abundantly clear that Yinsen isn’t the only thing he’s upset about but Steve holds his own, barely, suddenly thankful he actually knew what he was doing. He hadn’t expected that much pent up rage and his face was currently regretting it, as were his ribs. Tony might not know how to fight but he sure as hell knew how to hit someone where it hurt. Basic medical knowledge, Steve thinks, and by the second kick to the ribs Steve resents that but he was the one who started it. He can’t really blame Tony for cracking his ribs when he was the one who goaded him into it.

After managing to land a truly impressive punch Steve falls back, landing on his ass and that _hurt_. He half expects Tony to keep coming and he isn’t sure how much fight he had left in him for this but nothing happens. When the dizziness clears and his ribs stop giving him so much hell for this stupid idea he finds Tony a few feet away on his knees sobbing. Well, finally, this was the intent and it took far too long to get there in Steve’s opinion. “Sorry,” he offers and Tony glares at him.

“Fuck you,” he says, his voice cracking. At least he didn’t have enough anger left to punch Steve again, he could do without.

“Look, I get that I was an asshole but you needed to vent and I had the best chance of standing up to your enhanced strength. You needed to let it out so I uh, well, made sure that you did,” he says.

“Fuck you twice as hard,” Tony snaps and Steve lets out a shaky laugh, wincing as his ribs radiated pain. “You couldn’t have found a less insensitive method?”

“Would a less insensitive method have worked?” he asks. Tony looks away, eyes still wet, and that was what Steve thought. It might have been a less that desirable method but it did what it needed to.

“Sorry I kicked your ass,” Tony says finally, voice still thick.

“Ehh, I’ve had worse,” he says, thinking of the first time he came across Bucky. He had tested his limits and at the time Bucky was a teen, god knows what he would have been capable of as an adult. “Sorry I was an ass, like in general, not just this time,” Steve says. Bucky was right, Steve was holding on too tight for selfish reasons. He couldn’t just keep Bucky to himself because he was all Steve had when it came down to it, that was cruel at best, abusive at worst.

Tony sighs, “yeah, whatever,” he mumbles. Steve accepts that, Tony looked too tired to accept the apology anyways. Even if he wasn’t this wasn’t the greatest of times.

“Not to be an ass-” he starts but Tony cuts him off.

“If you need to preface something with ‘not to be an ass’ you’re probably about to be an ass, just so you know,” he says, looking unimpressed.

Steve huffs out another laugh and then winces, “fair enough. But seriously though, why Yinsen? They all have the same story, hell, the rest of us have the only other story you _can_ have out here, so why him? What made him so important to you?” he asks earnestly. It wasn’t his intention to be an asshole, he was genuinely curious. People didn’t really get why he made such an effort with Bucky considering he tried to kill Steve every other day when he first managed to get him out of HYDRA’s grasp, he wondered what motivated Tony. For him eventually Bucky started to settle in a little, only trying to kill him ever few days, then once a week, maybe a few times a month, and now he only had bad days and they were rare. All he needed was some patience and love but not many people had that kind of love to give.

“There were things we had in common,” Tony says elusively.

“Helpful,” Steve says, remembering too late that he didn’t know Tony well enough to joke with him like that.

Tony doesn’t seem to notice the comment over the sound of his own emotions, “you ever met someone and you just sort of… click with them?” he asks.

“Sure, that’s how it was with Bucky. There was something about him, I still don’t really know what it is, but I knew as soon as I saw him that he needed help. Then he tried to kill me,” he says. Tony doesn’t even smile a little at that and he sighs, the guy basically functioned on jokes and sarcasm, Steve would have figured he would respond to that now but it seems he was wrong. That wasn’t unusual these days.

“Well I’ve never really had that, my only friend was someone who worked for me, and the other was something I made. Like Sam’s Redwing. Then I get here and it’s weird because I clicked with pretty much everyone, including you, even if it was some sort of messed up violent hate connection. Literally violent now, sorry,” he mumbles again, “I don’t really want to lose that. This is the only thing I have to lose and I sort of deluded myself into believing that that was… I don’t know, invincible or some shit. Yinsen was part of that, proof of that even, he was getting better and now… well now my perfect little illusion is shattered,” Tony snarls, looking disgusted with himself.

“Who’d you lose?” Steve asks. There was someone else; there was always someone else. They were usually the first person to teach you that people didn’t last forever, maybe even the last if you played your cards the way Steve had. His father was a piece of shit, abusive, Steve hadn’t been sad to see him go even if he still felt guilty sometimes for being relieved. But his ma, she was a sweet woman and she had always been there for Steve. He spent most of his life sick, somehow he didn’t die, and when he met Erskine it was like a fucking blessing. But then Erskine died; Steve wasn’t fond of the people that were left running the project so he got out of dodge. By the time he made it back to his ma he was actually capable of taking care of her and she was _dead_. He went out of his way to avoid connections after that, until Bucky, and later Sam, even if they hadn’t worked out.

“My mom. She got into yet another argument with daddy dearest and this time she left, she was never the one to leave, but this time it was her and she wrapped her car around a tree. I always sort of wondered if she did it on purpose, I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I mean it’d be a bit hypocritical considering I’ve spent the better part of my life contemplating jumping off a building,” he says bitterly. Steve ignores the twist in his gut that had nothing to do with the bruise he was certain Tony’s foot left there earlier. The story was too familiar, too close to home.

“You,” Steve swallows, “you’ve spent most of your life wanting to die.” It’s meant to come out as a question but it doesn’t, not really. That wasn’t something he had known, something he wished he didn’t now.

Tony shrugs, “these last few months are the happiest I’ve ever had,” he says bluntly and that can’t be right. The conditions here were _horrible_ , there was never enough to eat, everyone had PTSD, there was no way anyone could be _happy_ here. But he believed Tony’s words and Steve felt unbelievably sad for him.

*

“Steve did _what_?” Bucky asks, looking hilariously like Steve when he was about to go on one of his righteous rants.

“Goaded me into kicking the shit out of him in some effort to get me to release some pent up emotion,” Tony says. His method left something to be desired but Tony did feel better in a fucked up kind of way. Before there was just so… so much, _too_ much, and he hadn’t known what to do with it all. Now he was riding this weird high where he felt distantly happy but it was like he felt it through a wave of numbness. Maybe happiness wasn’t the right word for it; more like… contentedness, like things can’t get worse and that was pleasant news. It was all false emotion, Tony knew, and when he fell off this high it was going to hurt like hell but for now, well, now he was happy to be feeling anything but that fucking heart wrenching despair.

“Did it… work?” Bucky asks, eyeing Tony’s bruised eye skeptically. Steve knew how to throw a punch, Tony would give him that. Actually he was all around a better fighter but it wasn’t like Tony had formal training outside of some boxing training he’s done with Happy when the man wasn’t throwing himself on the ground, too scared to be punched by a god. And that was another issue, Sam. He hadn’t meant to loose it on the man but he had gotten fed up with his passive aggressive comments and just… flew off the handle. He had looked terrified by the time got to the end of his rant when Tony looked into the nearest reflective surface he could see why. His updated Extremis hadn’t gotten rid of that glowing skin thing, even if it didn’t blow them up anymore, and his eyes had been glowing too. By all means he looked like a pissed off god and clearly Sam was a believer.

“Yeah, kind of. For now,” Tony says. He was mostly tired now, emotionally exhausted from the last two days. Thankfully Bucky senses this because he draws Tony in for a hug and presses his nose to Tony’s hair like usual. Tony holds on to Bucky tight, burying his face in Bucky’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you, Tony. Always,” Bucky whispers into Tony’s hair. He isn’t sure why that breaks the bubble but all the emotion that had sort of… stopped before all comes flooding back and he cries, shaking in Bucky’s arms. To his credit Bucky reacts well, murmuring random assurances to Tony and gently petting his back until Tony has wrung himself out for the second time that day and Bucky pulls him off to bed. He goes willingly, letting Bucky drag him wherever he wanted because Tony was just too fucking tired to care right now.

*

Howard stands outside the facility frowning. There wasn’t much of it left now and if he was honest he hadn’t even known what this was. But when he got the news that some facility blew sky high for no apparent reason he grabbed his jacket and took off before Obi could all but force him to stay home. According to the reports no explosives were used, which clearly wasn’t right, anyone looking at this mess would know. He would, however, like to know what this facility was even used for before he determined how someone managed to make an explosive that didn’t function like a normal explosive should.

Before he could get any definitive answers, though, Obi shows up to try and shoo him back to the mansion. “Howard, you don’t even know what’s going on here,” Obi reasons.

“Yeah, which is the problem,” Howard points out, “what the hell even was this place?” he asks, gesturing to the still-smoldering remains of the building they were in front of.

“Some sort of test facility- look, it isn’t important. There really isn’t anything you can do here anyways,” Obadiah says.

“I can do more than you, you don’t know how explosives work,” Howard says. Well, he did, but not like Howard did. He used to make weapons until they sort of became obsolete, and by then Tony’s inventions were of more interest than his own and, well, he reacted terribly to that. As usual Tony had suffered for it and that was just one more thing Howard could add to the reasons why he needed to be here doing this. Something was going on here and he knew Obi knew something about it, but he had no clue why he wasn’t sharing.

Obadiah sighs, “well when things are still smoking that isn’t exactly useful, Howard. Go home while things cool down and come back tomorrow if you must,” he says. He wasn’t _wrong_ exactly but Howard couldn’t shake the feeling that Obi would try and talk him out of making a return trip tomorrow and he wasn’t going to have that. But he agrees and Obadiah is stupid enough to walk off before making sure Howard left.

He circles the building, taking pictures of everything he could, and he even manages a few scans with some of the more nifty things Tony has left lying around outside the lab. Howard had had to finish the designs but he had known exactly where Tony was going with them so it hadn’t been hard. They probably weren’t as good as his son’s would have been but they did their job. On his way back to his car he happens to find a few files on the ground, slightly singed and it’s like a higher power left them there just for him. Tony. As it was he highly doubted someone could come up with a chemical design that reacted differently than the average explosion, it didn’t hurt to hope it was proof that his son was still alive.

When he gets back to the mansion the files prove that Tony was involved because the notes were his, and Howard could tell from the slant of the writing that he wasn’t pleased about it either. “JARVIS,” he says and as usual the AI didn’t respond, “you might have an interest in the information in this file considering Tony wrote it.” The words _useless_ and _hopeless_ were written in several different places next to equations, but he seemed to have come to a conclusion because the last equation on the page was circled several times with _bingo!_ written next to it.

“How can I be of service, sir?” the AI asks, responding as soon as Tony’s name was mentioned.

“What do you know about Extremis?” he asks, sitting back in his chair. He knows that the AI has been gathering information, Obi has complained more than once about finding JARVIS in his systems but Howard hadn’t seen an issue with it. There shouldn’t be anything Tony didn’t already know in there anyways, so what did it matter that JARVIS was sniffing around? Obi had grumbled about a lack of privacy and dystopias but Howard thought that was overdramatic. Obviously the fact that plagues were consistently wiping out most of the population made this a dystopia, not _JARVIS_ of all things.

“Nothing good, sir, why might you be asking?” the AI asks and Howard _swears_ the system sounds guarded, except that was impossible because it was _code_. JARVIS couldn’t possibly have a personality.

“I think, for some reason, Tony might have perfected the balance. If I give you a list of things I need can you send them to my lab?” he asks.

Certainly sir, if you scan me that file,” the AI says. Howard frowns at the ceiling because that AI should not be making demands. Maybe he was going to have to think that dystopia thing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright y'all, this is dragging, I know it's dragging because I have nothing fucking left to write for this half of the plot. So I apologize for Part One here taking so long, that's because my idiot ass decided that 6 months was a good amount of time when it should have been 3 or 4 months tops. But I couldn't change it because Y'all already had that timeframe so. Poo poo on me.
> 
> But I needed to move into Part Two here so this is my transitional chapter and I apologize because it is shit but I needed to get this shit out before I could move on. Anyways, here ya go!

The last thing Tony would have expected from this was bonding with Steve. They still didn’t much like each other, somewhat ironically because they found each other arrogant, but they had a surprising amount of things in common. Mostly they dealt with grief the same way; or rather they avoided dealing with grief the same way. It was easier to just… stop, to distract yourself with so much that one day you wake up and loss wasn’t the first thing you thought of that morning. He could feel Rhodey’s worry about that, that Tony would avoid dealing with the problem forever and he wasn’t wrong. That was exactly what Tony was going to do because he didn’t know what to do with the big fat nothing he felt if he wasn’t keeping himself busy.

Bucky was worried too, Tony knew, but he didn’t say anything because he didn’t really know how to. It was fair, Bucky hasn’t experienced the kind of loss Tony was feeling, or that Steve had felt, so how did you tell someone their coping wasn’t healthy when you didn’t even know what they were feeling? Tony was glad for it too because he was still touchy, raw, it didn’t take much to set him off and Steve got that too. It might be a weird way to deal with things but Steve had offered to teach Tony how to fight and he had taken him up on it. Most days he wanted to punch things or scream so he punched Steve and refrained from screaming most of the time.

Sam was also a fucking thorn in his side with all his passive aggressive comments but Tony got the joy of watching Sam’s irritation with Steve suddenly being Team Tony. He was fairly certain that Sam thought that Steve would have been the first person to jump aboard Team Hate Tony but he had been the first to bail. Granted everyone else liked him and Sam’s last two attempts to out him had gone terribly so here they were, dancing around the truth. Thankfully Bucky and Steve were a special kind of obtuse and Scott… Tony didn’t know what to make of Scott. He was an odd guy but he was useful, intelligent, and he spent a lot of time with Luis. Apparently he was an old friend that Scott had set out to find after his wife took off with his kid and some random guy. Tough break, but better than what most people got out here.

“You should talk to Bucky, he’s worried about you,” Steve says softly. They were both sweaty and basically stuck to the threadbare mats they were throwing each other around on. Steve was impressed with Tony’s ability to learn but in actuality Tony hadn’t been picking up Steve’s fighting advice so much as reapplying knowledge he already had. He had basic knowledge of biology and he was good at math, combine the two and you know what to hit and what angle would cause the most pain. It wasn’t perfect by any means but Steve had still been impressed with it, and Tony’s ability to apply Steve’s practical theory to his preexisting knowledge base.

“I know, but what do I say?” Tony asks. There wasn’t much you _could_ say because there was only so much a person could understand without personal experience. And even then there was only so much knowledge that Tony was willing to give out anyways. Unless Bucky picked up on Sam’s very obvious omega references than Tony had no intention of ever revealing that bit of information. Frankly he had no idea how the hell he hadn’t picked up on them already, Sam was basically screaming ‘he’s an omega’ without actually saying those specific words.

“I have no idea,” Steve says, “its not really something that has words. But he needs to know you’re okay.”

Tony snorts, “I’m _not_ okay, that’s kind of the problem,” he points out.

“You’re alive, that’s about as okay as you’re ever going to get out here.” Yeah, so Tony has noticed.

*

Phil has the layouts to some building on the table in front of them, “if you would be so kind as to help Clint and I out. There’s a bit too much ground for us to cover on our own,” he says.

Steve frowns at the map, “this is pretty close to the city limits,” he says.

“Just inside them, actually,” Phil clarifies.

“We can’t get past the walls, we’ve tried. I’d love to help but it isn’t possible, it isn’t possible for _you_ to get past the wall,” Steve points out. Actually it was because they wouldn’t have those blueprints otherwise, which makes Tony curious as to how they managed to break into his systems. They weren’t the easily crackable type, which was why Rhodey and Bucky had been on the other side of the wall when they had been on their way back from that facility. They had been working on a way to break in but it wasn’t something that was all that easy, which was the point he guessed.

“Oh I’m _sure_ Tony could manage,” Sam says, giving Tony a poisonous look.

Bucky snaps his fingers, “right, you and Sam are technopaths now, you probably could break into the systems,” he says. Sam squints at Bucky like he’s a moron, which was becoming a more regular thing with Sam making comments that alluded to Tony’s omega status and Bucky finding ways to link them to literally anything but Tony’s A/B/O score.

“Actually Phil and Clint would have needed to have made it past the city limits to get that blueprint so clearly they have a way,” Tony says.

“How they hell did you two manage that?” Steve asks, frowning.

“Who cares how they did that, think for a second, how did Tony _know_ that?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Everyone knows that, dude,” Scott tells him, looking generally confused as to why he should have cared about that. Everyone did not know about that if the looks Scott got in response to that was any indication but no one says anything. Sam rolls his eyes and shakes his head, clearly at a loss as to how the hell this managed to happen every time he said something that all but stated that Tony was an omega. Personally Tony would have started calling himself b his last name because why would he have responded to that if that wasn’t a name he was used to being called by? Sam seemed pretty hung up on the omega thing though and Tony wasn’t going to give him outing hints, thanks.

“We have better things to care about than Tony’s knowledge of blueprints,” T’Challa points out, “what do you need us to do?” he asks Phil. He and Clint set out their plan and how they expected the others to play into it.

*

“Bucky bee,” Tony says, leaning against the door jam to his room. Bucky had taken up residence there as of late and Tony was silently thankful because he had less nightmares when Bucky was there with him, and he was good about calming Tony down if he did happen to dream of drowning again.

He gets a long, drawn out sigh in response, “am I never going to live that down?” he asks.

“Nope. Now move over, I want to cuddle,” Tony says, walking over and throwing himself onto the bed before Bucky has moved. This gets another sigh but Bucky accepts his fate and gathers Tony into a ball with his head in Bucky’s lap.

“You okay?” he asks gently, petting Tony’s hair.

“No, probably not. But I will be, maybe, at some point,” he mumbles. Yeah, real reassuring, Stark. But it was the truth and he figured he owed Bucky that much given the whole lying about basically everything else thing.

“You know you’re one of the toughest people I know, right?” Bucky asks softly.

Strong, yeah, that was why he has spent an entire lifetime running away from his problems. He wasn’t strong, not even a little bit unless you counted physical strength, which he didn’t. The ability to punch things meant jack shit. “If that’s what you think,” he says quietly.

“It is, Tony, because its true. Even if you don’t know it yet.”

*

Rhodey fiddles with the earpiece, “these are pretty nice considering you only had scraps to work with,” he says.

“It’s almost as if he has god-like powers,” Sam says pointedly.

Steve looks at Sam like he’s grown a second head, “ _what_? Where the hell did you even get that? You know what, who cares, put the ear pieces in and do your part, Phil’s team is already ready.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Tony says, grinning.

“Don’t call me that,” Steve says, giving him a _look_.

“If I’m not living down fucking ‘Bucky bee’ you can suffer with Captain,” Bucky tells him. Everyone else seems to agree, including Sam to Tony’s surprise, but that might be because annoying people in petty ways kind of was his thing. Of course now that consisted of trying to alert everyone to Tony’s identity rather than harassing them all to pet Redwing and he was not fond of the change. Redwing was adorable and totally deserved pets; he didn’t much deserve his fate as a god.

When they tune themselves in with Phil and Clint’s half of the team they also find this amusing and Steve grudgingly accepts that his new nickname wasn’t about to die. They all split up to do their thing shortly after that though, Rhodey being paired with Tony.

“Ten bucks says we can get done before everyone else,” Rhodey says, grinning at him.

“Twenty says Scott manages to fall into something and we have to fish him out,” Tony counters. It was bound to happen; someone with shrinky powers, and Tony wanted to be there to see the guy fall into a radiator or something. Hopefully he’d remember to turn the thing off first; otherwise they’ll have a fried ant-sized human.

“Oh man, that would be hilarious. Too bad Wanda’s out doing her own thing otherwise that would be one hilarious situation for her to narrate. ‘Help, I fell in a carburetor and I can’t get out!’ She’d have a ball,” Rhodey says. She probably would, Scott was one of the few people that could make her smile so his plight might amuse her. Plus she could just red energy his ass out, no harm done.

They make their way to the chemical section of the lab, which Phil had left Tony in charge of because he had no idea how to safely dispose of them. With Extremis Tony could just look it up if he didn’t already know. Rhodey knew a thing or two himself so he sets to work, following Tony’s instructions when necessary until Tony has to use Extremis to gather information. Finding the pathways was becoming easier, especially with so much technology in close proximity, and Tony latches on to the energy. He flicks through useless information fast and notes the important information.

It isn’t until Rhodey shakes him out of his trance that he realized how long he had been searching information. Twenty minutes. They didn’t have that kind of time so he starts relaying the information to Rhodey quickly. “Dude, you didn’t even _blink_. You don’t need to blink. That is so weird,” Rhodey says and Tony thinks he wrinkles his nose but it was hard to tell with the mask in the way.

“Imagine Sam never blinking again,” Tony says and Rhodey shakes his head, telling Tony that that was weird and unnatural. Well, he wasn’t wrong, even the initial version of Extremis wasn’t intended to do that but by the time he worked and reworked the formula the chemical effect on the brain must have completely changed. If he had been given time he might have been able to test it and reduce the effects but he was moments away from exploding, so no.

It wasn’t long after that that they get a distress call from Scott, who did manage to get himself trapped in something in tiny human form. “Go,” Tony tells Rhodey, “I’ve got this,” he says. He was the one with the first hand information anyways. Rhodey asks if he’s sure but once Tony gives the affirmative he takes off to go rescue Scott from himself. He was the closest person to Scott’s location anyways, and he also happened to have all the engineering knowledge required to get Scott out without killing anyone.

Most of the chemicals were easy work but a few were more difficult to neutralize or otherwise destroy so Extremis ends up being more valuable than Tony thought. The problem was that he missed his cue to get the hell out of the building because he was too distracted with Extremis. “Tony, where are you?” Phil asks impatiently. Tony gets the impression that this wasn’t the first time he had asked that.

“The lab, I’m almost done,” he says, mixing the last of the chemicals to leave a non-toxic result. Everything was still going to go sky high but at least there weren’t going to be any deadly fumes left over.

“What the hell do you mean you’re in the lab,” Phil snaps, “you said you left two minutes ago!”

“Wait, when did I say that?” he asks, headed down the hallway to the nearest escape route.

“Two minutes ago, listen!” Clint snaps into Phil's earpiece.

“‘Kay whatever, I’m on my way out now so no problem,” he says.

“Yes problem, we thought you were out two minutes ago and I already pressed the button. You’ve got thirty seconds to get the fuck out and far enough away that you won’t get hurt,” Phil says.

“That’s not happening,” T’Challa says bluntly, ever the optimist.

“Like fuck it isn’t,” someone new says, Bucky. That’s about when chaos breaks out and Tony starts running. He already knew that Extremis increased his strength tenfold; it stood to reason that he could run faster due to increased strength. People are yelling in his ear, handing out a half a dozen different sets of instructions at once and none of them were viable, even without Extremis he could do the math.

When he comes across the window, well, he had ten seconds at best and it was probably better that he was _out_ of the building in whatever way was currently possible. Just before he has the bright idea to jump Steve gives him the stupid advice to _stay in the building_ , which, no. He knew where Steve was going with that but there was nothing he could currently try and hide in or whatever in order to avoid being blown up. “Sorry Cap, but I am not doing that on account of it being a fucking dumb idea. I’m gunna jump,” he says.

“Don’t you fucking dare-” Bucky starts but Tony ignores him in favor of taking a running jump. Extremis meant he had accelerated healing so he’d be okay. Maybe. Probably not but now was not the time to worry about his fragile morality, thanks.

So he jumps and Steve is yelling at him, Rhodey’s calling him crazy, Clint has a few choice words, and he thinks Bucky might be screaming or maybe that was the wind in his ears. He was flying through the air and he was going to fucking die after all this. After he finally found a home and group of people who loved him for _him_ , even if Sam wanted to ruin it all, and that sucked. But for a small portion of time he got a slice of happiness so even though he was staring down death when he really didn’t want to he was strangely okay with the fact that he was about to die.

*

Howard needed to know what Pepper knew, he was sure the AI said _something_ to her with how pale she looked but he gets news of the explosion before he commits to trying to find her. He gathers his jacket and sneaks out the door before Obi can tell him to stay behind, determined to figure out what the hell was happening here.

When he gets to the building, though, the last thing he expects are survivors. Most, according to the EMTs, were far enough away to not get hurt by the explosion itself, it was the shrapnel that got them. Of course Howard’s first question was what they were doing that close anyways, considering the popular theory that they were the ones that blew the building up. They weren’t idiots, one look at that explosion told Howard that they knew what they were doing, which meant they knew the blast radius, which meant they were close to the explosion on purpose but _why_? Getting caught was likely not their intention so what was?

This explosion was as odd as the last one; Howard could see the similarities even without any definitive proof that they were related. He circles the building like he had with the last, looking for anything that might be related to the information in that file. It alluded to illegal human experimentation but he didn’t have solid proof of that and he’d need some if he had any hope of getting Obadiah to listen instead of brushing him off.

He doesn’t much expect to come across a person covered in dust half hidden under a large piece of cement. Considering the mess there wasn’t a lot of blood, certainly not enough to bleed out and that was odd. The person was too close to the building, likely caught in the explosion, but too far to have been in the building at the time. That explained why the rest of the people were too close than, someone got caught inside and some of them must have went back, he was sure others cut their losses. He feels vaguely sick so he goes to walk away but then the body moves and Howard just about jumps out of his skin, letting out a loud shout as he did so. This draws the attention of the EMTs, who reliably inform him that there is no way that person was alive.

“Uh, nope,” the body says, “still alive.” Howard about faints and the EMTs flurry into action, pushing him to the side.

It was safe to say that the last thing he expected was for the person under the rock to be his missing son, who is in surprisingly good condition considering he was caught in an explosion that almost buried him in rubble.

“ _Christ_ he’s lucky, talk about the luck of the gods,” some nearby EMT says.

“No shit,” Howard replies. What were the chances anyone would be able to survive that? And Tony barely had a scratch on him, how was that even _possible_?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I thought of some long, drawn out drama. I also thought of absolutely no reactions whatsoever. In the end I decided that neither really worked and I went with Option Three: Everyone Reacts in Ways I Did Not Anticipate.

Rhodey has no idea where he was but it was bright. He’s heard the horror stories so he expects the worst but he wasn’t uncomfortable at all, even if he was having a hard time moving some body parts. Everything felt sort of heavy though so he wasn’t worried that his legs weren’t doing their job and moving. It was probably whatever painkiller was being pumped into his system and _yeah_ ; he could live in luxury like this. Most of the time they sort of had to deal with the pain of being hurt until they were healed enough to do their jobs again and it sucked.

But where the hell was he getting the drugs? That seemed a little weird. He wasn’t in pain though so clearly this place wasn’t bad, hopefully, maybe. Thinking about all this sort of made his brain hurt so it was a blessing for someone to call his name so he could pay attention to something else. “Rhodey, hey, over here asshole, why are you even looking at that trash can. That isn’t me, well, I mean depending on how this goes you might not think there’s a difference but-”

He finally finds the source of the voice, Tony, and he frowns, “dude, shut up. You’re speaking too many words, man.” He thinks he waves his hand around but he can’t really remember how, exactly, that got on front of his face and had his fingers always been so _long_? He’s staring at his freak alien fingers when Tony speaks again, drawing his attention away from his abnormally long digits.

“I’m Tony Stark,” he blurts and Rhodey starts laughing.

“No you’re not, you’re Tony… I don’t know your last name but you’re not a _god_. That’s ridiculous,” he says, slurring ridiculous a little bit.

“Actually Stark is my last name, but you are right about me being a god ridiculous. I’m not a god, I’m just some random omega that everyone decided to inexplicably worship,” he says. He looks pretty serious, pretty stressed. Rhodey had no idea why because this was the dumbest prank ever, no one would believe that _Tony_ was Tony _Stark_ , that was just dumb and terribly thought out.

“Nahhhh,” he says, drawing the word out, “that is not right and it is not believable. You can’t be a _god_ ,” Rhodey says, giggling at the thought.

“I’m not a god, Rhodey, but I am Tony Stark,” Tony says and Rhodey thinks he might be serious about that.

But no, that was just absurd. “Man, I don’t know where I am, and I don’t know what I’m on but thanks man. You gave me some good shit if I’m hallucinating you telling me you’re a god. Some _damn_ good shit,” Rhodey says, snickering to himself. He thinks he falls asleep shortly after that because he doesn’t remember anything else.

*

When Tony wakes up it’s because Howard’s yelling and his body reacted to automatically giving him a fight or flight response. But when he tries to move his arm it’s hand cuffed to the side of the bed and fuck that, he was no one’s prisoner. He pulls himself free easily, snapping the cuffs with no trouble. That draws the attention of Howard and the other guy in the room, an officer if the uniform was any indication. For a moment they stare at him in shock but he gets tired of that real quick, “is there a reason for you two screaming at each other?” he snaps, too irritated for social convention.

“Sorry Tony, I… probably should have taken this elsewhere but this idiot has some stupid ideas about you _helping_ the people who blew up that building and-” Howard starts but Tony cuts him off.

“He’s right, I _did_ help blow up that building and I’d do it again given the chance. Shut your mouth Officer Fuckbrains, because if you don’t know what that building was for you don’t get to speak on the subject,” Tony says. His voice is strong and clear and he’s surprised when the officer’s mouth clicks shut. Good.

“As far as I know that was a wheat processing plant,” the officer says eventually and Howard frowns.

“Not with those chemicals in it it wasn’t,” Howard says, “I was at the scene and there was no way food products could be safely stored with the chemicals I could smell.”

“And that was after I made most of them considerably less dangerous,” Tony says, calling up the current police reports with Extremis. _Terrorism_? Oh hell no, this was absolutely not happening. “And I’d consider illegal human experimentation terrorism, officer, but not destroying the building and the research that experimentation took place in.”

The officer pales a little, “how… did you know that?” he asks.

Right, these people didn’t know about Extremis and all the perks that came with it. “I read the police reports. Don’t so surprised, and Bucky’s actually 6’2, not 6’3, you mixed his and Steve’s heights. You’re also fucking clueless as to what you’re dealing with if you didn’t even know how I made the building explode, which is surprising because I would have figured Daddy Dearest here would have figured it out already,” Tony says, turning to Howard.

He flushes at that but he doesn’t look angry, maybe embarrassed or ashamed, but not angry. Odd. “Actually I’ve narrowed it down to three theories, none of them as good as whatever you managed. I’m rusty in weapons developing,” he says quietly.

“That’s a nice way to put your general incompetence. Now if you’ll excuse me I have friends to jailbreak. Oh, and if you know what’s good for you you’re going to want to keep Steve and Bucky in medically induced comas,” he says. God knows they’d both react horribly to waking up in a hospital, Bucky more than Steve and _fuck_ he was going to have to tell them both. Well, his place in a family was nice before it got ruined, he guessed.

The officer does not look impressed; “I don’t take too kindly to threats, even from you, Mr. Stark.” He looks ready to press on into some stupid rant but Tony chooses to nip that in the bud.

“I don’t give a damn what you respond well to officer,” Tony says, swinging his feet out of his bed and pulling the stupid fucking IV from his hand. Howard winces at that and Tony ignores it because the pain was already gone, the wound healing thanks to Extremis. “See, _I_ don’t take to kindly to people attempting to label friends of mine terrorists because they’re too fucking stupid to properly investigate the situation. So here’s what’s going to happen, you’re going to fuck off and go do more shoddy research into this case and you’re going to drop those terrorism charges. You’re also going to let me handle everyone when they wake up because they aren’t going to react well to you. That’s actually necessary to your safety so that’s non negotiable. Actually none of this is, but mostly that. Now if you’ll excuse me, and to be clear you _will_ excuse me, I’m going to go do anything but this,” he says. What he was going to end up doing he had no clue but thankfully Rhodey chooses then to wake up.

That goes horribly, mostly because he was hopped up on drugs, but he also seemed generally unwilling to either accept that Tony wasn’t a god or that he was Tony Stark. It wasn’t anything out of the norm really, this was the sort of thing he was used to, but it didn’t hurt any less. None of that was helped by glancing at Rhodey’s medical charts; the poor bastard was paralyzed, likely for life given the type of spinal injury. Shrapnel to the back, ouch. When Rhodey passes out Tony moves on to the next person, who happened to be Scott.

He takes the news marginally better than Rhodey because he actually believes him. “Oh god. You know about Antony,” he says, wide eyed. Scott had minor injuries for the most part so he had spent more time awake than anyone else but apparently he was drugged up too. Tony was going to have a talk with someone about these dosages because really, these people should not be this doped up.

“Yeah, still think that’s a stupid name for an ant. Still think battle ants are dumb also, just so ya know,” Tony tells him. Scott makes a small, offended noise, gently pressing his hand to his heart.

“I can’t believe you have come to _my_ room to insult _my_ ant, I have _never_ been so offended in my life,” he says, hand still pressed to his heart.

“Shut up, Scott, your battle ant is dumb. Are you alright though, they been treating you well?” he asks in an effort to derail the conversation from Scott’s stupid ant.

“Antony is a gift! I should have named him after someone who would appreciate how awesome he is. And yeah, I don’t know where I am but I never want to leave, you’ve got some good drugs!” he says enthusiastically. Yeah, Tony was going to have a conversation about the dosages Scott and Rhodey were getting.

Next up was T’Challa, who was anticlimactic in nature as all he had to offer was his irritation with television. Granted he was forcibly watching some horrible soap opera that Tony had become far too invested in before he had run off. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do with his time and even the lab got boring after awhile. A quick check of T’Challa’s records via Extremis reveals they did a blood test, which came back with an A/B/O score, hence why he got a TV when Scott and Rhodey hadn’t. Currently there was an investigation as to where T’Challa even came from and Tony made sure to scramble the information if he couldn’t outright erase it from existence. T’Challa thanks him for his efforts and Tony nods, knowing the kind of life T’Challa was trying to run from.

Phil and Clint had been housed together thanks to Phil having woken up only to discover Clint was elsewhere, which resulted in Phil punching the hell out of anything that moved in an effort to find Clint. He was fine now but Clint wasn’t so lucky. Apparently he had been too close to the explosion and unlike near everyone else he had suffered a head wound and permanent hearing damage. Eighty percent loss in both ears. “Don’t look so upset, Tony, he’d do it again in a heartbeat,” Phil says quietly, gently petting Clint’s hair.

“He wouldn’t be hurt if it wasn’t for me,” Tony says quietly.

“It was bound to happen at some point, no one is as lucky as we have been. One of us was bound to get hurt and we knew it. How are the others?” Phil asks.

“So far I’ve only visited T’Challa, Rhodey, and Scott. They’re all relatively fine given the circumstances, Rhodey’s the worst off; he’s probably paralyzed for life. Scott was more concerned with his fucking ant than anything else, and T’Challa has a minor concussion but he’s fine otherwise. I’ve scrambled all information pertaining to your pasts, by the way, not that they had much on you or T’Challa. You’ve covered your tracks well,” Tony says. He hadn’t even considered Phil until he had been on his way to check on him and Clint but the information was gone now regardless.

Phil nods, “thank you. Now go and find Bucky, I know you’ve been avoiding it,” he says.

“Because he’ll hate me after I tell him about this, and eve if he doesn’t Steve sure as hell will. I’m not sure I’d blame them,” Tony mumbles. He probably wouldn’t be happy about this if he were them, and Sam sure as hell hadn’t reacted well. Sam was pretty laid back, if he reacted badly they all would.

“He won’t hate you,” Phil says gently, “not if he really cares about you. Clint didn’t hate me when I told him.”

“Yeah but if you had chips you could have told Clint you were secretly twenty jack rabbits in a human skin suit and he would have been fine with it,” Tony points out.

That earns him a small laugh from Phil, “I don’t actually doubt that. But Bucky won’t hate you, even if Steve does. He’ll understand, or he’ll try to. Now go on and tell him before he wakes up and tears this place apart,” Phil tells him, waving him off.

Tony waits as long as he possibly could before he goes and finds Bucky. The doctors had already discovered that he healed faster than normal, and that he metabolized painkillers faster. He wasn’t asleep but he was pretty damn groggy when Tony got there. His heart rate was up and the doctors were complaining about it, not knowing that they were the source of Bucky’s increased heart rate. As soon as Tony makes his presence known Bucky’s heart rate slows down considerably and boy that was a real kick in the balls for everyone involved.

Of course he put that kind of trust in Tony and now Tony was about to destroy it all. To be fair it was his own fault so he couldn’t be too pissed off about it. He manages to get the doctors to leave and _god_ this must have been shitty for Bucky. “Hey,” he says softly, adjusting Bucky’s medication so he was getting less of it. It doesn’t take long for Bucky to start wiggling around, reaching for the IV in his hand, “hey now, you’re actually kind of hurt so you might want to keep the meds,” Tony says. His knee had been busted when he got here but it was half healed by now. He’d probably be able to leave by this time tomorrow.

“You ok?” Bucky manages to croak out, reaching for Tony instead and oh that hurt. Bucky frowns when he pulls away but he can’t help but feel guilty for lying to him.

“I’m fine. Extremis seems to have saved my life; also I’m Tony Stark. Just to get that out of the way,” he says quickly, unconsciously taking a few steps backwards.

Bucky looks dumbfounded, “what?” he asks.

“I’m Tony Stark, you know, missing omega, rumored god. I’m not a god, that’s fucking ridiculous, but… but…” he trails off, unsure of where to go from there. Unsure he _could_ go anywhere from there.

“I… I… are you serious?” Bucky asks eventually, seemingly having trouble processing that.

“Unfortunately yeah, I’m serious about that,” he says. This was going… not horrible.

Bucky lets out a half sob half laugh, “oh thank god, I’ve been waiting for like… forever for something like this and then you- I knew there was something special about you. Everything makes so much more sense now,” Bucky says and he sounds _so_ relieved. And Tony, well, he guessed he should have expected something like this. Granted he predicted hatred, maybe even fear, but he hadn’t expected _salvation_.

“I’m _not_ a god Bucky, I have no special powers, when I found you I had no idea you needed saving, and… I’m just not a god okay? This is all just some crazy coincidence,” he says, flapping his hands around loosely. Just… no, this wasn’t right, he had already exploited these people enough if unintentionally, he didn’t need to exploit them more by letting them delude themselves into thinking he was something he wasn’t.

“Maybe you don’t see it, but I do,” Bucky says softly and he believes it too. He’s looking at Tony like the sun shines out his ass and _god_ that hurt. He thought… he thought that maybe he would be human enough for these people to treat him like… well like Sam had really, like he was a person that made a mistake. Instead he got treated like a god undercover, arriving just in time to save people. But he wasn’t saving anyone, hell; he couldn’t even save himself most days so clearly he couldn’t save anyone else here. He ends up leaving because Bucky was too painful to look at. It hurt to know that even after all this he still wasn’t seen as a person, not really. He deserved hate and instead he got more of the same from a different group of people.

*

Steve knew what pain medication felt like, he spent a good portion of his childhood on something or another, god knew how his ma even managed that. But he hadn’t felt that light, airheaded sensation in a long time so he was surprised he felt it now, even with the serum. His own confusion was cut off when someone enters the room though so he focuses on that. Dimly he had been aware of people coming and going but he must be metabolizing the medications better now if he had more awareness than before. “Hey,” the person says and Steve manages to turn his head to find Tony. He looks hurt, like he was in pain and trying not to cry but Tony is more concerned with the medication drip than Steve or his own emotions.

“Hey,” Steve mumbles, head fuzzy.

“I’m Tony Stark,” Tony says, giving that information far too bland of a tone considering how important it was.

That clears Steve’s head a little, “I’m sorry, what?” he asks, blinking a few times as if that would help. It did, sort of, and Steve suspects that Tony must have reduced the dose of his medication. Huh.

“Tony Stark, missing omega, supposed god, that’s me. So you can either hate me or worship me now or whatever,” he says bluntly. Steve must not have been the first person he told, or at least that was his guess.

He has been right about Tony than, he was hiding something, probably his identity but for what cause? Steve tries to find one but he can’t see a reason for why Tony would subject himself to the kinds of conditions he had. There was nothing for him to gain there.

_This is the only thing I have to loose._

_My mom. She got into another argument with Daddy Dearest and wrapped her car around a tree._

_I always sort of wondered if she did it on purpose, I wouldn’t blame her if she did._

_It’d be hypocritical considering I’ve spent the better part of my life contemplating jumping off a building._

_These last few months have been the happiest I’ve ever had._

Tony had been looking for salvation and god help him he found it in hell. Steve wanted to be mad, wanted that righteous anger he might have felt a month ago to make an ugly appearance but looking at Tony it was hard. The man had poured his heart out to him, someone he didn’t trust and actively disliked, because he no one else would hear his story. He wanted to hate Tony for lying but he had been telling the truth that day after their fight, Steve knew a lie when he saw one, and he couldn’t find it in him to hate a man who ran away from one personal hell to another and actually found _improvement_.

And there was the look on Tony’s face right now, the guarded expression like he was expecting some kind of reaction and he was steeling himself for it. Maybe Steve might have hated him a month ago, and truth be told he wasn’t impressed, but Tony’s life here must have been some horrible if he found life with the sick and dying better than life here. Some people might see a god but Steve saw a man that must be so, _so_ lonely to have dug himself a family out of the squalor he found himself in. How lonely did a person had to be before watching people die was preferable to what they had before?

He didn’t know and he didn’t want to. “I don’t hate you, Tony, or think you’re a god. You’re just a sad, lonely person looking for connections and yeah you clearly didn’t pick the best way but I’m going to guess you had your reasons. Maybe you’ll tell me about them some day or maybe you won’t. We all have secrets we’d rather not share,” Steve says. God knew he had more than enough things he wished he could forget.

The last thing he expects is for Tony to burst into tears, backing up until he hit the wall and he slides down. “Oh thank god,” he croaks out, “thank god I’m a person to you.” Steve frowns at the wording because that didn’t make sense to him.

“What do you mean?” he asks, struggling to sit up. His ribs were in pain, likely cracked though they were probably only bruised now, thanks to the serum. It hurts to bring himself into a sitting position but he manages it.

“I’m so, _so_ tired of being a god, of being a thing people use to project their hope onto. I’m not special; I’m not one’s salvation. I can’t even fix myself, how can I fix everyone else?” Tony asks, quickly working himself into a frenzy before he has to stop, taking a deep and shaky breath. Steve recognized the symptoms easily enough having been there more than enough times himself. Tony was shaking like a leaf, wide eyed, and having a hard time catching his breath because his brain was probably going at a mile a minute, telling him of all the ways this could go wrong and then some.

“Tony,” Steve says softly, “you need to calm down some, take a breath and slow your thoughts. Whatever it is that you’re worried about you have time, okay? You’ll be okay, you’re pretty fucking resilient you know, not many people make it out of a lab with the ability to smile after. Maybe you aren’t a god but you are strong, Tony, and being a god was never necessary for that.” He had no idea if any of that was right, it was always hard to tell with panic attacks, but when Tony’s breathing stops catching and he looks a little less crazed Steve figures he must have said something right.

“Thank you,” Tony says, half curled against the wall of whatever hospital they were in. He was covered in sweat, he looked like shit, and as much as Steve wanted to be angry about his lie it was hard to look at Tony and feel anything but pity.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you guys go! I was going to wait but I'm off to Pride tomorrow so I'm not going to be hime for the next few days, hence the chapter now. Hopefully all is well with the writing! Now I'm off to pack at 2 AM because I am a Trash Lord.

Tony wasn’t really sure what he was doing, exactly, just that he had a few basic goals to achieve. Unfortunately for him some were easier than others. Jail breaking his friends had been easier than expected but only because the cops now had a whole new investigation to focus on- illegal human testing- and most of the gang had blood proof it was happening. Steve and Bucky even had a similar component to their blood, indicating that whatever experimentation happened to them was similar. That was more than a little horrifying. Sam’s results were gone from the system so Tony made the assumption that he erased them, not wanting any records to be found and that was fair.

T’Challa and Phil’s investigation kept getting rebooted so Tony told JARVIS to keep up with erasing any information than they found. It turned out Clint used to live in the city- he was a foster kid- but he went off the grid some fifteen years before. Tony would bet if they looked into that there would be a long history of abuse but beyond assessing that he was technically a citizen they didn’t peruse the investigation any further. That was another thing that pissed Tony off, the ‘citizen’ argument. Phil and T’Challa weren’t about to be booted out because they weren’t residents of the city so how come everyone else was under scrutiny for deportation? When he brought that up no one could give him a good argument and when he started getting particularly adamant Obadiah had tried to send him off to bed.

First off everyone knew Tony had insomnia so that was stupid, not to mention it didn’t solve anything. Howard eventually took Tony’s side and pointed out that everyone they brought in probably had invaluable information about testing, which was true, not that Tony thought they were about to give that information out. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that they were probably suspicious of anyone here minus Tony, and Sam was an exception to that. And Scott now that he wasn’t so drugged up, he wasn’t impressed that Tony had hidden his identity and he was suspicious of Tony’s reasons. That was fair and Tony was more than willing to let Scott hate him. It was better than the alternative.

In the end the police had a difficult time fighting against Tony’s logic and with Howard on his side it made his arguments harder to fight. Howard would technically be the one kicking them all out being the one in charge of the city so if he disagreed than deportation wasn’t going to go smoothly. Obadiah remained suspiciously silent, so much so that even Howard noticed, but Tony wasn’t entirely sure what that meant for him. It was clear he had something to say but if he wasn’t going to voice his opinion he couldn’t exactly respond. He had bigger fish to fry though and getting his friends off the charges that the police were trying to lay against them was more important that whatever it was that Obi was stewing on. Tony trusted that the man would say what was on his mind eventually so all he had to do was wait.

For now, though, his time was spent relocating everyone to the Tower and hopefully they would be kind enough to help him plan his next move. This would be a whole lot easier without whatever government bullshit they would have to deal with, mostly because Tony suspected a good portion of the government was corrupt. If things were functioning the way they were supposed to, well, then it wouldn’t be so bad but for now he had no clue what he was dealing with until he got to it. At least he had Extremis to make things easier, information was closer than his finger tips now, now it was in his head. That was going to be useful, and if Sam was willing to cooperate things would go far more smoothly…

*

Pepper watches as Natasha perches on the chair at her small kitchen table looking tousled and tired. Granted they had spent most of the night awake so Pepper didn’t blame her so much, and she was always a little disheveled before her morning coffee. “You could have slept for longer,” Pepper tells her though it’s useless. They both ran on a strict biological clock that neither one of them seemed able to break regardless of what they did to tire themselves out.

“You know that won’t happen. What’s for breakfast?” Natasha asks, stretching herself out and blinking slowly, like a tired cat. When they first met Pepper had been held at knifepoint by some asshole who wanted her money, which she didn’t have having lost her job. Natasha had appeared almost out of nowhere and somehow managed to take someone twice her size down with only a fat lip for her efforts. Pepper offered to buy her a drink on the spot, impressed with her skill. It would have been the last of her money but that would have been worth it.

Natasha told her to keep her money and melted back into the shadows, not to be seen for the next month. When they met again Tony had been missing for nearly four months and she had been worried, of course she was, and Natasha had materialized out of the shadows once again looking a little worse for wear. It didn’t seem to stop her sense of humor though, because she took Pepper up on her offer of a drink. Pepper brought her home to clean her up instead and they had become fast friends despite Natasha’s secrecy. When that had tipped into the more-than-friends category she wasn’t sure and she wasn’t going to question it either. To be fair that was at least partially because she wasn’t entirely sure what this was. Their relationship wasn’t really romantic, but it wasn’t really platonic either and Pepper didn’t know what to call that.

She didn’t have much time to find the right name either once Howard had shown up on her doorstep, and then JARVIS’ information, and then Tony had been _found_ after almost six months. So whatever this was she didn’t question it because she was enjoying it and if Natasha’s returning on a regular basis was any indication she did too. “Eggs,” she says, answering Natasha’s question and waving a spatula around to demonstrate her point.

“Lovely. You’re too good to me,” Natasha says, smiling softly at her. She got the feeling that Natasha didn’t smile softly all that often and that was upsetting. Natasha was clearly used to a hard life and Pepper didn’t ask questions. It wasn’t her place to poke around where Natasha didn’t want her. If she wanted Pepper to know than she would tell her but until then Pepper would keep her curiosity to herself. Working with Tony had taught her the value of waiting until someone was ready, though she also learned when it was time to start pushing people that way too. Tony was a stubborn asshole when he thought he shouldn’t do something and she had learned when to leave things be or let them go. The knowledge was invaluable now.

“I give you as much as you deserve, I know my worth,” she says confidently. Another thing she learned with Tony. It wasn’t that she had no confidence before, but there were applications to her talents that she never even considered until Tony pointed them out. She was good for him too, she thinks, if in different ways. He needed someone to talk to badly and no one seemed interested in hearing anything but what they wanted to. It clearly hurt Tony to know that his worth depended on what others perceived instead of what was actually there.

Natasha’s lips twitch up, “it’s what I like so much about you,” she admits. Pepper smiles pleasantly to herself, happy that Natasha was not intimidated by her confidence. More than enough people met her and had no clue what to do with a woman who didn’t devalue her skills and Pepper was happy to inform them that they should acknowledge her talent as is. It was daunting, she was told, and she thought that people who were threatened by that must not be confident in their own ability to assess skill. Tony had never been intimidated by her, even when her confidence grew. Actually he seemed to like her more than, but maybe that was because she was the only person to call him on his shit with the intent of getting him to learn rather than intending to control his actions.

“Good, because I have to admit I wouldn’t appreciate you at all if you didn’t know my worth,” she says, grinning at Natasha. This gets her a full on smile and those were so rare with Nat. So much so that Pepper could count on one hand how many times she had seen Natasha smile like that on one hand with a few fingers cut off. She wasn’t used to smiling and that worried Pepper, but she knew better than to bug. In due time Natasha would tell her, leave her, or maybe she would never mention her past at all. Pepper was fine with all the options even if she largely preferred if Natasha didn’t leave.

She didn’t really want to leave Natasha but Tony’s being found was important and god only knew what he’s been getting into for months. He was probably half dead and she was hearing rumors of _terrorism_ of all things. She wanted to know what was going on and Natasha only stuck around at night anyways. Pepper had no idea what she did during the day, or the nights when she was gone, just that she tended to come back bruised and bloody. That worried her too but Natasha was tough and whatever it was she was doing she must be determined. Pepper leaves her to her work and makes her way to the Tower to see Tony.

*

Sam was still pissed off at Tony but he seemed to warm up a little when he saw the lab. Scott was eyeing things over his shoulder, looking curious, and Tony was going to have to ban all ants and ant-like creatures from his labs. “You used to work in this?” Sam asks, scanning the equipment in the room.

“Yeah. I made half of it,” he says, looking specifically at Dummy. Currently the bot was on the charger looking sad and dusty from disuse. He was going to have to give his bots some loving later after leaving them for so long. JARVIS had at least done his job and kept people out minus Pepper, who had always had authorization to enter his labs. She had apparently lost her job at some point, which should have been impossible given how frighteningly efficient she was. Howard was the one who brought that up though, in a hushed tone when everyone else was either out of the room or distracted. He had hired her back to act as his assistant until Tony came back and Tony didn’t have the heart to tell Howard that given the choice he never would have come back.

She was supposed to visit at some point today and he was looking forward to it after today. Rhodey had been relocated to a room that was equipped to deal with his current health issues, Clint and Phil were relocated to their own part of the Tower, as had T’Challa. Sam had been shown his room and Tony figured giving him access to the labs might make him a little less pissed off about being here. Plus he could use Sam’s help in locating everything he needed to upend this system and rebuild it. He could do it himself but realistically he needed help, outside help, if he was going to be effective at all. Scott had tagged along on the tour because he had developed a weird fixation on Sam and Tony figured he’d leave Sam to deal with his own admirer.

Next was Steve and then Bucky, mostly because Tony didn’t really want to deal with Bucky after the last time went wrong. Rhodey was at least knocked out at the moment so he didn’t have to deal with that, and he was on less pain meds so hopefully he’d be less loopy. Steve would be easy to deal with, and maybe if Tony was lucky Steve would correct the error in Bucky’s ways but he his luck wasn’t very good so who knew. A visit from Pepper would be a blessing after all this would be a fucking blessing.

“You _made_ this stuff?” Sam asks, drawing Tony’s attention back to the situation at hand.

“Most of it yeah, is that a surprise?” he asks, frowning. It shouldn’t be, everyone knew how good he was with tech. The rumors had escaped the city long ago, he had heard plenty about his own skill to know.

“No… I just… what a downgrade,” Sam says finally, “how did you even know how to work with the stuff we had?”

“Practice. I wasn’t allowed in the labs for the longest time; I might hurt myself you know, so I sort of toyed with anything I could get my hands on. That was a lot of useless junk lying around so I learned my way around supposedly broken household items,” he says. He still had some of his old projects in his room. Dummy was actually one of his old projects, actually, though he was allowed in the labs by then. Dummy was still built out of a bunch of supposedly useless junk though.

Sam nods, “huh. So I can go in here?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Nah, you can only look at from the outside and drool on the glass a little. You have to keep ant boy behind you at all times though,” he jokes, drawing an offended noise from Scott.

“Ant _man_ ,” he says dramatically.

“Ant twit, more like,” Sam says, snickering. “Thank you, though, I appreciate this.” He genuinely feels that, Tony can tell, which eases his guilt a little. Sam hadn’t really suffered in the explosion but he still wasn’t impressed about the whole omega thing and he had a right to be pissed about that. Tony nods and leaves him there with Scott so they could drool in peace. He was tempted to stick Scott in Sam’s room to be an ass but more than likely he’d find space for Sam’s weird, ant loving tag along.

Steve was an easy placement, Tony put him in a room with a lot of windows after he mentioned being an artist, not that he ever had any supplies. He figured Steve could draw the skyline or something, or at least enjoy the view. The unfortunate effect of that was that he was sort of close to Howard’s space but he figured Steve could deal with Howard better than anyone else could. Howard might be a stubborn asshole but if anyone could outdo him it would be Steve.

“Go deal with Bucky,” Steve tells him when he lingers too long.

Tony sighs and rubs his eyes, “I will, just give me a minute.” He could enjoy that much before he had to go play god- literally. He’d rather boil his head while he was still conscious.

“You know he already had you on a pedestal, right, you just sort of validated that accidentally,” Steve says gently. So he did, but that didn’t mean Tony had to enjoy it.

“A pedestal I don’t deserve, by the way. How do I even _deal_ with this? It isn’t like there’s a how-to manual for when your boyfriend mistakes you for a _god_. That’d be kind of convenient, Phil should make one,” he says more to himself than Steve. Not that Clint seemed to ever make that mistake, or at least not that Tony knew of, but Phil should still make a How to Date Your Omega guidebook.

“Don’t you? Deserve to be on a pedestal, I mean. I… as much as I’d like to deny it I didn’t do much for Bucky’s confidence. I accidentally taught him that disagreeing with me was wrong and that he shouldn’t think for himself, and the fact that I didn’t even realize is even worse. You managed to break all that and pretty much only by existing, and your actions indirectly made me realize I was wrong. That’s not an easy thing to do, trust me, I’m pretty stubborn or so I hear. After all that are you really surprised that he’d think you were his salvation? You were to an extent, whether or not you want to admit it. And he saved you too, you were clearly craving human connection and he gave you that. Godhood was never part of that but I can see why Bucky would see it the way he does. Don’t see why Phil would make a handbook for this situation though,” Steve says frowning.

Shit, he didn’t know about Phil and T’Challa. “Uhh, you’re going to have to take that up with Phil,” he says and he flees the scene before he makes this more uncomfortable for himself. Of course that means he flees directly into another uncomfortable situation but he had to deal with Bucky at some point, he guessed.

“You’re avoiding me,” Bucky says when Tony finally locates him.

“I’m not avoiding you-” Tony starts but Bucky cuts him off.

“Yeah, you are, and you’re a shit liar too. You look all over the place and your nose twitches like crazy when you lie. It would be cute if, you know, not for the lying part,” Bucky says. Tony wants to point out he can’t be all that shitty of a liar if he managed to hide his identity for the last six months but that was cruel so he keeps that to himself.

“My nose doesn’t twitch,” Tony mumbles, feeling very betrayed by his body when he feels his nose twitch. Bucky raises an eyebrow and Tony chooses to ignore that, “I still wasn’t avoiding you. So um, follow me to your new room,” he says awkwardly. He turns on his heel and starts walking, hoping to make this the least amount of awkward he could.

Bucky follows along and Tony can practically _hear_ him looking around. It takes him a moment to realize he was actually watching Bucky look around via Extremis, he had become considerably linked into his system in the last couple days, and he was going to have to watch that. He had a tendency to zone out while using Extremis and that wasn’t always useful. “You used to live here?” Bucky asks, “this place is _huge_ , and gorgeous.”

“Yeah, I lived here. And thanks, I designed the building with the intent of making it look pretty so uh, I guess I succeeded,” Tony says awkwardly. Personally he thought the Tower had always been a little too big, too empty, and too full of memories he wished he didn’t have. But it was stunning and it wasn’t like Bucky had a history with the place.

“You _designed_ this building?” Bucky asks and he sounds kind of awed. Lovely.

“I’ve designed almost everything in the city with the exception of the more outdated parts towards the edges, those were designed by Howard. Everything here is so advanced technically it shouldn’t exist, people have been trying to recreate my reactor technology for some time now with little success,” he says. He sounds wooden, stiff, and he tries to add some life to his voice, his general stance. It doesn’t really work out for him in the end.

“That’s amazing,” Bucky says quietly, following along behind Tony. He was still looking around and Tony tells himself that was because it was unlikely Bucky had ever seen anything like this. Actually that probably _was_ the reason for his curiosity, all he had ever seen of the city were the walls and if he was in the right place the Tower shining bright in the dark night sky.

“Not as amazing as the element that powers the reactor. I made that too,” he mumbles. Howard had had some old designs lying around, a bunch of incomplete things or things he deemed impossible. Tony had looked them all over and made every single one possible, including a piece of an element Howard hadn’t meant to create. Tony was the one who finished it, synthesized it, and put it in the reactors anyways. People thought that was the greatest thing since sliced toast and Tony felt the whole thing was anticlimactic when the project wasn’t even difficult.

“You _made_ an element? That’s _possible_?” Bucky asks and okay, that actually was pretty amazing.

“If you have a particle accelerator, some willpower, and about three weeks yeah, that’s possible. And it’s not toxic.” That had been the only problem with the reactors, the cores burnt out quick, were toxic, and nothing else currently in existence would work with the tech efficiently. Obi told him to ignore it but he wasn’t about to poison the ground, he had to eat shit that came out of that and so did everyone else. Not to mention that was all kinds of unethical. Then he found Howard’s half finished designs and then he found the element and then he solved the problem. Whoo.

“Hey,” Bucky says, grabbing Tony’s arm and spinning him around. “Look, I don’t know what’s gotten into you or why you’re so upset but I’m here for you, okay?”

Tony wants to tell him that he wasn’t, not really, but Bucky looks so fucking earnest that instead he just melts into Bucky’s touch, pressing himself into Bucky’s chest. Bucky wraps his arms around him and buries his nose in Tony’s hair like usual and Tony can’t help but smile and worry about his hairline yet again. “I’ve got you,” Bucky murmurs, “you’re okay. And you smell _great_.”

“If you keep sniffing my hair like that I’ll go bald,” Tony warns and Bucky sniffs deeply, apparently unaffected by the possibility of Tony looking like a cue ball.

“You’d look fine bald,” Bucky tells him, kissing the top of his head.

“I’d look like one of those freaky hypoallergenic cats, so basically like a demon. I need my hair, stop sniffing it straight out of my head,” he says with no real conviction. It was nice like this with no worries, no conflict, no giant pile of problems, both his own and everyone else’s. He wished this could last forever.

*

Steve was looking out the huge window facing the darkened city and marveling at how he got here, what he was even going to _do_ here. Tony managed to get the charges dropped but they all had to stick around to answer questions about the testing, something none of them were much fond of doing, Tony included. Personally he had a few ideas as to what needed to be done but he had no idea if anyone would even listen and not much reason to think anyone would.

The sound of footsteps draws his attention away from his own thoughts. He catches sight of the person that the footsteps belonged to in the window’s reflective surface and raises an eyebrow, “I hope you’re happy with yourself,” he says, unable to keep the bitterness from his tone.

“Don’t see why I would be, that was all Tony,” Howard says, gesturing to the city outside the window. It was impressive, no doubt, but that wasn’t what Steve had been talking about.

“Not what I was referring to and you know it,” Steve tells him and that sounded harsher than the last statement.

Howard examines him for a moment and Steve is shocked by how much Tony resembled his father. Howard was older, certainly, and his dark hair was greying nicely, but they both had those pretty dark brown eyes, quiet confidence, and overwhelming sadness about them. Steve would feel bad if not for Tony’s account of his childhood. It was difficult to pity a man who very likely brought that sadness upon himself. And then there was everyone else that had suffered from Howard’s negligence. “Then I’m not entirely certain what you’re talking about and there’s no shortage of mistakes I’ve made to choose from. You’re going to have to narrow it down,” Howard says bluntly.

There was confidence behind the statement, and an accepted truth. “Unfortunately for you I’m not even sure where to start, there’s a list,” Steve says. He’s glaring down at the man and Howard must have some confidence left in there somewhere because he looks right back, holding Steve’s gaze easily. Not many people could, Steve has learned, and that makes him curious as to what kind of person Howard is, exactly.

“Chronological order always works for me. We could always start with my failure as a parent and a husband, not sure which of those came first anymore. But Tony, god help him, outlasted Maria and he paid dearly for that. Or we could talk about my abysmal leadership, Obadiah had to take over before things fell apart completely. Only now I’ve come to find out that things fell apart anyways after my son ran off for six months to who knows where and came back looking haggard and more happy than I’ve ever seen him talking about illegal human testing. Figure _that_ out,” Howard says bitterly, “I could go into more detail but I’ll spare you. Truth be told you might be the only one I’ve managed to spare in the last three decades.”

“‘Fraid not given I’ve dealt with the whole illegal human testing thing. Don’t look so guilty though, I volunteered, no one else I know was so lucky though,” including his son but Steve keeps that to himself. That wasn’t his story to tell.

Howard sighs, “would you be willing to fill me in on everything I’ve apparently overlooked?” he asks. He looks tired and lost, but determined, and Steve can’t help but think that Tony looked the same way.

“If you want details than I’ll give them to you, but don’t expect me to sugar coat it,” he warns. Howard wanted to know what he’s missed than fine, he’d learn the hard way like Tony had. Except Tony went one step further and lived it, all of it, experimentation and all. For those reasons Steve had faith that Tony wasn’t about to turn his back on those that needed it.

“Sugar coating does dick all to get things done. I want everything you’re willing to give me so I can deal with this. I’ve spent more than enough time with my head in the sand,” Howard says and Steve admires the determination even if he didn’t like the man behind it.

“Then you might want to sit down.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not slap your friends if they are having a panic attack.
> 
> Also sorry it took me 80 years to update, I have been busy with school!

Sam had no clue what a church service even looked like, it wasn’t like he had a god to pray to where he was from, but this wasn’t what he expected. He knew Tony pretty well he would say and the man was loud, blunt, kind of a jackass sometimes, and more than that he hated authority. From day one Tony had shown suspicion of power structures and for the life of him Sam had no idea why considering he was the most powerful structure there was, god or no. What mattered was that people prayed to him, not if he answered the damn prayers. Regardless of what Tony thought he had the power to change things and he wasn’t using it and that pissed Sam off.

But out of curiosity he went to go see Tony do his thing, false god or not Sam wanted to see how this worked. He hadn’t expected that Tony was basically viewed as a psychic of sorts and that people expected him to predict their lives, solve their problems, explain the recent plague outbreaks. Sam expected the easy confidence that he had seen over and over again back at the hospital but to his surprise he saw almost none of that. Tony answered the questions to the best of his ability but he spent more time telling people that he had no knowledge of the things they wanted to know, backing away, and looking exhausted.

He watches closely and by the end of the hour he was confused as hell. Tony had power, it was pretty damn clear he had power because people looked to him to solve all their problems, but that power was pretty limited considering he mostly had no idea what was going on. It was abundantly clear that these people didn’t know what was going on outside those city walls, and it was also obvious that they had more knowledge of the government systems than Tony. That made no sense to Sam considering Tony was the metaphorical head of the damn system so how the hell did the general population know more than him? It occurs to him later that clearly someone was lying but he wasn’t sure of the government was lying to the population or Tony.

Either way Tony quickly gets lost in a sea of questions, hopes, expectations, and pleads that he had no hope of being able to solve. _I left because I was tired of being a god, tired of people using me as a prayer tool and a symbol of prosperity and hope when I didn’t even believe in that_. Yeah, it was clear Tony had no belief in himself or the system he was supposed to represent and why would he? Sam supposed that system failed him too, even if he blamed Tony for the system malfunctioning to begin with. He could have stopped this at any point and he chose to remain blind. He didn’t need to be a god to pay attention to the shit going on around him, people were _dying_ and Tony just _let_ it happen.

These people though, they put too much faith in Tony, expecting him to do things that were impossible. Expecting him to use his power to decimate this god-forsaken system, yeah, but find some sort of cure to the new plague strains? Tony hadn’t cured the last ones, Sam looked up vaccine dates, they predated Tony so if he hadn’t solved that problem he couldn’t solve this one. Well, he probably could, but not like these people were expecting.

And then there was Tony’s reaction to it all, the overwhelmed looks, the backing away, the trying his best to answer things he couldn’t possibly have an answer to. Sam knew Tony to be quietly strong, not one to give in to authority, and generally someone who was not the weirdly meek and overwhelmed guy in front of him. When Steve appears at his side Sam frowns at him, “who _is_ this guy?” he asks.

Steve looks confused too, watching Tony like he was expecting to tell people to back the hell up and give him some damn space. He doesn’t, Tony continues to try and answer questions and hand out what information he had even if he was clearly uncomfortable with the large crowd around him. “I have no idea but how is no one noticing how uncomfortable he is? He looks so claustrophobic in there, you’d think people would at least give him some space.”

That was something Sam noticed a lot of, Tony’s distinct lack of space at all times. His lab was the only place people didn’t consistently invade and that was only because they couldn’t enter without JARVIS letting them in. That didn’t mean people didn’t try damn hard to get themselves into Tony’s space though, even his lab was a constant string of people trying to talk to him, question him, get him to do whatever for them, and honestly it would drive Sam nuts.

More than once he’s watched someone walk into Tony’s space and insert themselves there like they belonged regardless of how Tony felt about it. Bucky had noticed it too and he must have gotten annoyed because he has started to shoo people off when they did that. Tony’s response, interestingly enough, was that it was _fine_. Sam didn’t know Tony to be the kind of guy to let people into his space if he didn’t want them there, he’s told Steve to fuck off more than once. He’s told Sam to mind his own business too. So all of this… weirdness, it was all foreign to Sam and without talking to Tony he had no clue what the man was thinking.

His irritation with Steve intentionally invading Bucky’s space and autonomy was starting to make a lot more sense now, even if Sam was irritated with the way Tony has handled things. “Why doesn’t he tell them to move?” he asks eventually. Steve watches as people manage to move even closer and Tony stands straighter, an attempt to put some distance between everyone else and himself considering he could no longer back away.

“I don’t know, usually he’s pretty damn open about exactly what he wants,” Steve points out, “so I don’t know why he holds his tongue so much here.”

*

Phil goes to find T’Challa because it was time to find out his story, for Tony’s sake. Tony wasn’t keeping quiet about what he had found outside the city and Phil knew perfectly well how that went. If T’Challa’s story had any similarities to his than they needed to have a conversation with Tony, they needed to warn him of what was going to happen if he tried to destroy a system that didn’t want to be destroyed.

He finds T’Challa in his room looking generally displeased with his surroundings, which was how everyone else felt too. Even Tony though that threw Phil for a loop at first, he would love to go home but Tony seemed stifled here, limited. Phil suspected many of those limits were only in Tony’s head but he was uncomfortable nonetheless.

T’Challa looks at him for a moment and sighs, “we need to warn Tony,” he says.

“I agree, but I’d like to get everything out in the open between us before we do that so we don’t confuse him later,” Phil tells him. He walks farther into the room and props himself against the wall across from T’Challa’s bed, “so what’s your story?” he asks.

“You first,” T’Challa says, eyeing him warily and Phil supposes that’s warranted. Things have been very shaky for the last week, no one knew how anything was about to end and after whatever it was Steve said to Howard he wasn’t much impressed either. And then there was the other guy, Obadiah; Phil wasn’t sure about him and what he had to do with any of this.

“Alright. You know that ridiculous notion of god-like powers? Well mine has and always has been research, attention to detail; I can learn and retain things at rapid rates. In another life I would have made a great spy. But when I was seventeen I found a snippet of information I wasn’t supposed to know about and I followed the information to some experiments, and those experiments referenced other experiments. Anyways I took my findings to the authorities of course, human experimentation is illegal, hell, what they were doing wouldn’t have been legal even if they were working with animals. Living creatures deserve more respect than that but… well, I hadn’t anticipated that they were _running_ the experiments. I had been distracted with other things, tracking plague outbreaks, strains, most likely targets, prevention. I was looking elsewhere and people suffered for it,” he says quietly.

“Regardless of what I was doing I was determined to stop the people behind it, convinced that it was individual people that were behind the law-breaking. I was a naïve fool and they knew it so they managed to lay out what would have been a clever trap if not for the fact that I’ve always been good at picking out the minor details. They tried to kill me and obviously they failed, but then they tried again, and again, and finally I faked my own death and fled. I figured I could do more from the outside and I wasn’t wrong.” He’s done far more with Clint than he would have been able to do with a system that corrupt. He never did find out how deep it ran, how many people were involved, and until now he had little interest in that. His concern was the people that were being held against their will in test facilities.

There was a lot more to his story, like his attempts to take the human rights to the public, to try and get their support. That had failed and led to assassination attempt number two, and three, which of course led him to faking his own death. He had left several trails to the information for people to find but without immediate contact with his previous home he had no clue if anyone managed to find and use his trails. Or if they found them and buried them. He hoped the latter didn’t happen but he wasn’t a seventeen year old dreamer anymore, the chances his city had stopped using people like lab rats was unlikely. It kept him awake at night.

T’Challa considers this for a moment, “so the public didn’t know or did you manage to push the information out?” he asks.

“They never knew,” he says simply.

“Then you might be happy for it, because my population found out and endorsed it,” T’Challa says and for a moment Phil is dumbfounded.

“ _What_?” he asks, horrified.

“Not everyone, of course. But when my father found out he wanted nothing to do with the rogue sect that was running the experiments and he managed to expose them fairly quickly. He did not anticipate that half the population would think that the experiments, while gruesome, were necessary, and the other half were horrified. It created a divide that I tried my best to smooth over but then my father was assassinated and I’m afraid that I was too lost in grief to be very effective. I tried still, but I was easily defeated. I did my best to get back into my home country to rid it of it’s new leaders, if you could call them that, but it was useless. Eventually I ended up here,” he says. He sounds bitter, disgusted, and Phil knew what that was like. He’s lived almost the same horrifying tale only to have it end in him being ousted from his own home.

“We need to tell Tony this,” he says quietly, “because he has no idea what he’s about to walk into.” Tony was a dreamer, much like Phil had been when he was young, maybe even more so and it wasn’t going to end well for him. Already he was getting resistance and Tony was misreading the reasons why. He assumed people didn’t believe him but they did, they just didn’t care as long as it wasn’t them or other people they cared about being hurt.

“I agree, but what are we supposed to tell him? That his plans are bound to fail? You know how Tony reacts to a challenge like that; he assumes that means he’s supposed to prove us all wrong. He won’t listen and he won’t give up,” T’Challa says and he’s right.

“Maybe that’s a good thing though. When we dealt with this we were young, alone, we didn’t know what to expect and now we do. We’ve experienced the horrors first hand, eliminated them even. So has Tony, he has far more information than we did and he has support that we didn’t, maybe this time we actually can do something.” It was dangerous to hope, Phil knew, but he couldn’t help it. So he was more realistic now, that didn’t stop him from feeling hope, daring to think that maybe this time would be different, that these people would be different.

“Dreamer,” T’Challa accuses, “this will go as terribly as our attempts to stop this will and it will be Tony’s head they come for. It’s best we leave, function outside this broken system.”

Phil shifts, considering his options, “what if it isn’t the system that’s broken, what if it’s just the people? We never agreed to this experimentation, we’ve both opposed this and so has Tony, and Howard. Clearly there’s hope.” He refused to believe that everything in place was bad, that simply couldn’t be true, they could work with what they had.

“That isn’t true and you know it, Phil. The system is broken and we need to leave it, that’s what we’ve been doing thus far and we’ve been fine,” T’Challa says firmly.

“We’ve been dying,” Phil snaps, “people need the resources here, we can’t just give up on that.”

“We have no choice, this system has given up on us, it’s time to give up on it. We’re dying yes, but that’s because the system is killing us.”

*

Tony is tired and he wants to sleep for the next twenty years but sadly Bucky was waiting at the door to his room so sleep wasn’t coming any time soon. “Are you okay?” Bucky asks, reaching out to Tony and dropping his arm when Tony shies away. Was he okay? Fuck no, he’s spent the last week being chased down and harassed and feeling closed in when people converged around him, intruding on his space with no thought to his personal bubble. He wanted to tell them all to go away, to back the hell up and let him breathe but they were all scared and they only wanted answers. He could hardly fault people for that, even if they clearly had no clue that he liked his own space, thanks.

“I’m fine,” he says even though he isn’t. Someone had to deal with the shit storm that was this whole human experimentation thing though and Sam seemed to think that must be him. People weren’t much listening though, which Tony knew would happen but no, no one listened to that.

Bucky looks skeptical and Tony wants to curl up in his arms, except he also wants to have his own god damn space back. The thought of someone coming anywhere too close to him made his skin crawl, and unfortunately that included Bucky. “No you aren’t, you’ve been weird all week. Its almost like you’re a different person,” he says quietly. He’s frowning at Tony like he’s trying to figure him out and Tony has had _enough_ of this.

“That’s because I _am_ a different person. It was nice, not actually having to pretend and play along to all this shit for everyone else’s benefit but you know what, I couldn’t live in fantasyland forever. At some point I had to come back and clean up this mess and I don’t get the luxury of being myself, alright? That isn’t what these people need,” he snaps. He ‘d love to go back to being able to be carefree every once and awhile but now he had a huge amount of shit to deal with and no idea where to start.

“Tony, being yourself is _exactly_ what these people need. Has it occurred to you that things have only gotten so bad for you and everyone else because you don’t speak up when you should? You can, you know, people listen to you,” Bucky says and he looks so earnest. Tony doesn’t know if he wants to fucking strangle him for being such a clueless twit or if he wants to kiss him for trying so hard.

“People _listen_? No they don’t Bucky, _you_ listen, Obadiah just talks in circles and tries to distract me and send me away. The police keep going on and on about fucking _warrants_ and shit, the public doesn’t even know, and Howard is too busy throwing up to be useful. I’m stuck doing this all on my own and I don’t know what to do and people keep asking me all these _questions_ and I don’t know the answers and they keep crowding around and-” he takes in a shaky breath as he feels his temperature rise. Was that Extremis or something else? He didn’t know, he didn’t know _anything_ and that was the problem and he was _trying_ but he didn’t even know what he was doing and-

“Tony,” Bucky says, “Tony you need to sit down and take a breath, you’re overwhelmed. You aren’t on your own, I’m here for you,” he says softly.

He lets out a hysterical kind of giggle, “no you aren’t, you’re here for what you think I am. You think I’m like your salvation or whatever, I’m not, I’m no god, I’m no one’s salvation. I’m not even my own salvation for fucks sakes. How am I supposed to solve all of these problems when I can’t solve my own? I don’t even know what half of them are, I wasn’t around long enough, didn’t travel far enough, to even know how many problems there really are. How can I fix problems I don’t even know exist?” he asks. He’d continue but he was loosing his breath and his stupid lungs weren’t refilling like they should be. His vision is blurry and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. Breathe, he needed to breathe except he couldn’t get a fucking breath in and every time he thought of some new problem he got even less air in.

Bucky is talking to him, he thinks, but he just can’t deal with that too, there is too much to deal with already and he didn’t need Bucky’s help. He tries to calm himself down but he isn’t very successful and the longer his breath takes to come to him the more he panics, even if he lacked that burning in his chest that he should have. He’d focus on that more but the black that was clouding the edges of his vision finally succeeds in taking over and he passes out.

*

Natasha was not fond of Tony once she realized that asshole owed her toilet paper. Of course she couldn’t tell Pepper that she had once robbed Tony for toilet paper because that would lead to an uncomfortable conversation she didn’t want to have. For now she was content with Pepper being left in the dark when it came to her life and her A/B/O score. She had no time for whatever opinions Pepper would have on her status. From what Natasha has seen she would be accepting, she accepted Tony just fine, but she has also learned the hard way that that wasn’t always the case. Matt had accepted Foggy but freaked out about her. She left within the hour and didn’t turn back. She hopped that they were doing alright, they were sweet men and Matt was good for Foggy. He could hear the lies and that meant that Foggy had the power to do good, as much as he could anyways. It helped that Matt was on the metaphorical look out for the lies having been blinded by the experiments.

She accompanied Pepper to the Tower nonetheless because she fully intended to get her damn toilet paper, she still horded it even if Pepper was happy to house her without asking questions. That arrangement wouldn’t last forever, they always started asking questions she wasn’t prepared to answer. But for now she would remain and enjoy the small bit of happiness she would allow herself before she was forced to move on.

“You seem tense,” Pepper notes, giving her a shrewd look. She’s an intelligent woman, picking up on things quickly and efficiently and Natasha could appreciate those traits. The problem with that though was that her first thought was always to gather information she could use to exploit people with later. It’s gotten her out of more than one sticky situation until she allied herself with Loki, thinking his illusion skills would be useful. They were not, the man was a loose canon and the reason she didn’t have that damn toilet paper of hers. She ditched him some time ago with some big blonde puppy like man who could control lightening.

“I’m always tense,” she points out. A habit developed after years of being exploited and even more years on the run. She was aware of all things always; it was necessary if she was going to survive, if she was able to ensure others survived.

“I know, sometimes I wonder about that,” Pepper says, worry etched onto her beautiful features. Internally Natasha sighs, resolving herself to move on soon. She liked Pepper but her past was her own and she was not intent on sharing it with anyone. Most days she didn’t even want to share it with herself.

“No need to worry, I can take care of myself,” is what she says externally, watching Pepper’s reactions closely. She was very good at hiding her emotions but only when she wanted to, otherwise they flickered across her features and Natasha was able to read them with ease.

“I have no doubts about that, but just because you can take care of yourself doesn’t mean you need to do it alone,” she says. She means it, Natasha can tell, and for that reason she was leaving in the morning. Emotions were not for her, not unless she was manipulating them, and she didn’t even know if what she was feeling for Pepper was genuine or if it was a survival thing. She long ago lost the ability to distinguish between survival and desire, likely as the Red Room had intended it. The purpose was to make her rely on them to tell her, control her, but the joke was on them because the only person she answered to was herself.

“On my own is how I’ve managed to survive,” she says somewhat cryptically. Pepper gives her a strange look but Natasha picks up her pace to escape the scrutiny. When the Tower’s lights start flickering she starts running, Pepper on her heels much to her surprise. Natasha has seen this sort of thing but she has no idea what power was behind it, what sort of mutation some idiot scientist playing god developed to try and cure the damn plague was interfering with the electricity.

“Tony,” Pepper says and she veers off to the right, Natasha skidding to a stop to follow her before she got herself killed trying to deal with something she didn’t understand.

“How is he doing this?” she asks, catching up quickly.

“Extremis,” Pepper tells her, clearly not in her right mind because that was information she probably wasn’t normally inclined to give away.

Natasha grabs her arm and jerks her to a stop, easy considering she was enhanced. She wasn’t sure what it was; just that it increased her strength, stamina, and her senses. “That’s deadly. We need to go, this building is about to blow up and I don’t want to be in it,” she says. She should be leaving, her instincts were telling her to leave but in a curious turn of events she was rooted to her spot, waiting for Pepper’s response.

“I don’t care, Tony needs my help,” she says and she’s off again, headed towards Tony. For a moment she stands there and against all her better judgment she goes after Pepper and hoped it wasn’t going to end in her death. She finds Pepper easily enough and she leads the way to Tony, lights flickering more as they moved farther into the Tower. Natasha noticed other electronics flickering and malfunctioning too and that made her nervous. This was not a known side effect of Extremis and she didn’t like walking into situations blind.

“Where are we going?” she asks eventually and Pepper looks behind her, almost looking surprised to find Natasha there. Natasha was surprised too, she should be leaving this town and moving on to wherever suited her best.

“Tony’s room, he’ll probably be there around this time. Or his lab,” Pepper says.

“Where is his lab?” she asks. Hopefully close to his room otherwise they would be on a wild goose chase.

“The basement,” Pepper tells her and she resists the urge to smack Pepper or run.

“Wonderful,” she mumbles, unimpressed with this turn of events. Pepper gives her the side eye but she ignores it in favor of following Pepper though the building. They find Tony by his room, or at least Natasha presumes the room in front of her belongs to Tony. The man himself is on the ground hyperventilating, a panic attack Natasha knows. She was familiar with them, unfortunately.

Some guy was trying and failing to talk Tony through it and he looks oddly familiar but she ignores that in favor of Stark. Pepper looks lost and Tony’s long haired companion was more useless than tits on a boar. Natasha walks up and slaps him hard across the face, earning shocked gasps from Pepper and Long Hair. “Get your shit together,” she snaps and Tony refocuses, hand pressed to his face in shock. Which was the point, give him something else to focus on, it worked for her. Thankfully Tony was the same otherwise he would have went the Matt route and that wouldn’t have been good. Better than Pepper’s inability to move and Long Hair’s stupidity though, if she did say so herself.

“What the hell?” Tony asks, glaring at her. He looked wild, unfocused, like he was subject to fall back into panic at any moment.

“You owe me toilet paper,” she snaps, lacking anything better to say.

“You just _slapped_ me, I don’t owe you anything,” Tony snaps back. He looks more focused now; more intent on telling Natasha off than thinking about whatever it was that drove him to panic. Good, because Natasha was getting that toilet paper, that shit was gold to her and Tony had a deal to hold up.

“You nearly killed me, give me the toilet paper,” she says, hands on her hips.

“What?” Pepper and Long Hair whisper in sync.

“You totally weren’t going to _die_ , that’s so dramatic. You were only unconscious but whatever, take all the damn toilet paper you want, just don’t slap me again.” Tony rubs his cheek again but the redness that was there is gone now, which is weird so Natasha files that away for later. She also notes that the lights were no longer flickering.

“You two know each other?” Pepper asks as Natasha takes a step back from Tony. Long Hair swoops in immediately, glaring at Natasha as he circles his arm around Tony. Tony doesn’t protest but she could tell that was out of exhaustion rather than genuine interest in being coddled. Hmm.

“We met once, a long time ago,” she says, offering no explanation whatsoever.

“Well you can go away now,” Long Hair tells her. He doesn’t look impressed with her presence but there was something else there too. Natasha wasn’t sure, nor was she sure why he looked somewhat familiar. She would have remembered meeting a man with a metal arm; it wasn’t the kind of encounter a person would forget.

“What is going on here?” a new voice asks and the hairs on the back of Natasha’s neck stand straight up and her back straightens. A sure sign whoever was on the other end of that voice was not someone to be trusted. She turns to find a tall bald man standing there with an easy smile on his face looking down at them. Pepper, she notices, is also standing straighter and Long Hair doesn’t look impressed either. Tony looks tired but unsurprised. Hmm.

“Nothing Obi, I’m going to bed,” Tony says tiredly.

“And the lights, what was that?” this Obi person asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Minor disagreement with JARVIS,” Tony lies.

“Stupid program. That thing best be working right now,” Obi mumbles and Natasha gets the urge to rip the man’s throat out. Tony looks pained and in a strange turn of events she turns, as if on instinct, to exchange a look with Long Hair. They both look confused with this because there was no reason for them to have shared a look when they don’t even know each other. If anything she should have shared a look with Pepper, not Tony’s… whatever this guy was to Tony.

And then there was the nagging feeling that she knew him somehow that simply would not go away. Maybe she wouldn’t leave tomorrow, no, something was telling her to stay and she had long ago learned not to go against her instincts. Even if what brought her here was, paradoxically, ignoring her instincts.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for everyone's mental health issues and shit, also abelist language will make an appearance from this point on too, just to warn you guys. Not much really, but I figured I'd still toss in a warning.

He’s been going through heats since he was thirteen and nearly two decades later he still had yet to recognize the signs until he was hot and sticky. Thankfully Extremis seemed to balance some of the physical temperature rise out though so at least he wasn’t as hot and sticky as he normally was. And no one would think he had the plague either so he didn’t have to worry about that. He did, however, have to worry about Rhodey because he was finally awake and lucid enough to have a reasonable conversation with. Tony wasn’t looking forward to the conversation but someone had to give Rhodey the information on where he was so he didn’t freak out.

When Rhodey blinks himself into consciousness his nose twitches almost immediately. Yeah, Tony was already missing those suppressants but his stuff was left at the hospital and he doubted the redhead, Natasha, was willing to share her stash. She had been adamant about getting that damn toilet paper back and Tony didn’t have the energy to fight her off. “The hell is that smell?” Rhodey asks, following his nose to Tony’s general direction. The looks on his face when he realized Tony was the source of the smell was priceless, “I thought that omega thing was a hallucination,” he says in way of any actual greeting.

“Surprise, honeybee, it was not. Also you’re paralyzed,” he says, trying to get as much uncomfortable subjects out of the way as possible.

Rhodey, to his credit, takes the news well or at least as well as a person in his situation could. “Shit, I was hoping that was the meds. Permanent?” he asks. He’s categorizing damage so he knew how to deal with the fall out but he looks so resigned to his fate, staring straight at the ceiling with tears in his eyes.

“Probably, yeah. I’m sorry,” Tony says quietly, well aware that Rhodey was only hurt like this because of him.

“Well shit, you might as well kill me now because outside these city walls disability isn’t an option,” Rhodey says bluntly. Tony feels like he’s been punched in the gut with the statement, not having considered what someone who didn’t have the use of their legs would do outside the city. He’s never had to worry about that, he knows, and now he can see the limitations clearly. There was no way to function without legs unless they had the resources in the city or they had some really loyal people around them. Loyalty probably ran pretty thin in such harsh conditions, Steve’s reaction to Tony’s presence before he stopped being an ass proved as much.

“You aren’t leaving the city, Rhodey, no one is. Actually if I have my way people will be coming into the city,” he says. He had plans, tentative ones, that he’s mentioned to Howard and Obi. Obadiah was concerned about cost and Howard, to Tony’s intense surprise, agreed that Tony’s plans were necessary. He didn’t sound overly sure of that argument but he still agreed with Tony more than Obi, who subtly avoided a stance at all, which meant he didn’t agree at all. Tony didn’t give a damn what Obi agreed with though, they were failing a huge portion of their population and that was not what good leadership did.

For a moment Rhodey looks stunned, and then he looks unsure, suspicious. “But why? I… don’t take this the wrong way but you obviously didn’t care before so why now? Because you lived what we did?” he asks and there’s a note of bitterness to his voice. Tony appreciates it, appreciates that Rhodey was treating him like a human with a clear mind.

“No, well yeah, but I didn’t even know about any of this stuff before. As far as I knew you had all the same resources I did, it wasn’t until I left to experience things for myself that I realized you didn’t. What’s happening here, even if you left out the experimentation, is a violation of basic human rights and had I known about this before it never would have stood,” he says. He couldn’t believe some of the people he’s spoken to about the subject seemed almost… apprehensive to helping these people. It wasn’t possible, at least to him, to know about such conditions and let them continue.

“And what makes you think you can even convince these people that what they’re doing is wrong? If I remember that not-hallucination right you don’t think you’re a god, so what makes you think anyone will follow your lead if you don’t even think you have a right to lead?” Rhodey asks, touching on hard subjects. Finally someone who was asking sensible questions, though Tony supposed Rhodey was a sensible person, like Steve really. It was a wonder they didn’t get along more when they had a lot in common personality-wise. He and Steve had a lot in common too and they hadn’t gotten along either so he guessed it made sense on some level, he just didn’t have all the information.

“To be honest I have no fucking clue, but I _will_ get this done,” he says passionately. Not succeeding was not an option, people needed help and everyone kept telling him he was the head of this power structure. If that was true then he’d damn well make his plans a reality.

Rhodey considers this for a moment before he relaxes some, “you are one stubborn asshole, if anyone can manage to fix this it’d be you. I mean you managed to wire an entire room in a night that one time, that’s pretty impressive. On a different note though, get your stinky ass away from me, your smell is driving me nuts,” Rhodey says, waving him off.

“Love you too, sweetums. On the plus side the last time I went into heat you all thought I had the plague so I am glad to be done with _that_ misunderstanding,” Tony says. He goes to walk away but Rhodey calls him back to explain when, exactly, that happened and he grins, turning back so he could go tease Rhodey about that time they all thought he contracted the plague and was dying.

*

By midafternoon he was dead tired and ready to take a nap. That’s about when he got quarantined in his room too, so that was convenient in the most inconvenient of ways. Sure, he finally got some peace and quiet in his damn room but now he was going to be stuck here for days bored out of his mind. He had things to do; he couldn’t afford being stuffed into his room for days for no apparent reason but he didn’t exactly have a lot of people on his side for freedom either. Whatever, he’d get JARVIS to jailbreak him later.

He’s about to head off to bed so he could sleep off some of the exhaustion but the door to the balcony rattles and a glance over reveals Bucky has somehow managed to get onto the balcony and through the door. “JARIVS, you’re a shit security system,” Tony tells the AI.

“I didn’t think you would want to keep him out sir, though if you would like me to put protocol in place I can,” JARVIS responds.

Bucky looks at the ceiling suspiciously, a habit everyone but Tony had in regards to the AI system. Though to be fair until recently JARVIS only ever spoke inside his lab and only to Tony, now he freely spoke everywhere and to everyone. It annoyed Howard endlessly because the AI consistently mocked his television watching habits and his invention designs. Tony resolved to give JARVIS an upgrade or five for his good work. He liked to harass Obadiah too, but Obadiah was less willing to complain to Tony about it and JARVIS didn’t give him the details so he didn’t know how that went. “Nah, I’m just saying you could give a guy a warning,” Tony tells the system.

“Duly noted, sir,” JARVIS says and he goes quiet.

“Do you not find that… creepy?” Bucky asks, continuing to give the ceiling suspicious looks.

“Not really, no. I mean I made him so that’s probably why,” he says, doing his best not to be offended that Bucky found JARVIS _creepy_. It didn’t help that Tony had all of two and a half friends and he couldn’t really count Pepper because he paid her for her services, and he probably shouldn’t count JARVIS because he all but held the system hostage. That left Jane and she was just someone he didn’t hate and sometimes talked to at formal events, which meant his friend group was nonexistent without the friend group he made when he left home. He did count JARVIS as a friend though so he was offended that Bucky found the AI _creepy_. JARVIS was a good AI, not a creepy one, it was mean to tell JARVIS he was creepy to his metaphorical face.

“Oh. Well everyone else thinks he’s creepy,” Bucky tells him.

“Everyone else can fuck off,” he snaps, at his wits end and tired.

“Well excuse us, it isn’t like we’re so used to luxury we’re totally used to some random piece of code having conversations with us. We barely had lights let alone AI systems,” Bucky snaps back and Tony lets out a humorless laugh.

“Yeah, luxury. JARVIS is one of the only things I even have here, one of the only things people don’t try and impede on or act like they’re entitled to like every other aspect of my life. So maybe JARVIS is a privilege to you but to me he’s a life line and probably the only reason I didn’t throw myself off that balcony years ago and you think he’s _creepy_ ,” Tony snaps, rolling his eyes. Objectively he understood what Bucky meant, it must be odd to have gone from such a low-tech environment to one that was almost completely run by tech. But Tony couldn’t help but be offended on behalf of one of his only friends because it wasn’t JARVIS’ fault he was misunderstood by people who had never encountered something like him before.

Bucky looks sorry for the comment now but Tony has no interest in his pity. “Sir,” JARVIS says before Bucky could get anything out to comfort him.

“It’s fine,” he mumbles, turning away from Bucky.

“Sir,” JARVIS says, this time his voice inflection different. Sometimes even Tony was surprised how human his creation came out but he appreciated the worry.

“I just need sleep, no need to worry about me,” he tells the system.

“Tony, you just said some code you wrote is the only reason you didn’t kill yourself years ago, I don’t think you’re okay,” Bucky says from behind him.

“Yeah, well, if it makes you feel any better I’ve jumped out of a building and lived so it wouldn’t kill me even if I tried,” he says somewhat sarcastically. Not that he would ever follow through with it, he might hate his life but he had no answers for what came after so that made the option far more terrifying than whatever crap he had to deal with here.

“The serum made it pretty much impossible for me to kill myself too, I’ve tried a few methods. Slitting my own throat was the most effective but I healed too fast to do much permanent damage,” Bucky says quietly. Tony wants to say that that wasn’t an invitation to share suicide stories or some other terribly timed joke but the words die in his throat with the image of Bucky lying in his own blood, upset that yet another attempt failed.

“That is a morbid image,” JARVIS says, breaking the silence. Bucky and Tony start laughing in that awkward way people do when they’ve been confronted with a heavy subject and they don’t know what to do with it.

*

Howard was good at research; Steve would give the man that. It took him no time at all to find proof of illegal experiments to back Tony’s story up and then some more to prove that Tony wasn’t wrong when he said it was a systematic problem. “They can’t deny hard proof and they’ve learned not to doubt my abilities. God knows why they have any faith in them now, I haven’t been the most effective of leaders for… well ever if I’m honest,” Howard says, his voice coated in bitterness.

“That’s your own fault,” Steve says bluntly, “but I appreciate your work. At least as much as I can considering this is something you should have been doing all along.” He can’t help but sound bitter too after seeing the way people have suffered due to Stark’s negligence. Tony too, to an extent he supposed, but it made little sense to him to blame the man for a problem that outdated him. It might have outdated Howard too but people put more stock into his leadership, however shoddy, than Tony’s.

That confused Steve because he would have assumed that whatever Tony said would go but that was anything but the case. People did more time looking at Howard or that bald asshole, Ovi or something like that, than listening to Tony. And that didn’t include the bizarre connection people had to Tony, taking to him as if they were good friends when it was clear he had no clue who they were. Steve didn’t much like the way people acted entitled to Tony’s space too, inserting themselves into his life in several ways they had no right to. The ban Tony had received from leaving his own room yesterday was a good example and he didn’t find that made any sense. The argument was that heats took a lot out of an omega but if Tony had had a heat before Steve hadn’t noticed, he was even productive when he was briefly sick. Clearly the man was not incapable and Tony was a fidgeter, putting him in one place and forcing him to stay was a recipe for disaster.

“You’re quite blunt,” Howard notes and Steve doesn’t miss the undercurrent of annoyance in the man’s tone.

“I didn’t get a choice to speak in pretty little euphemisms where I’m from, honestly was a matter of life or death. I’m not apologizing for that,” he says. “But in the interest of giving credit where it’s due, you at least know you’re a bad leader. That’s hard to admit.” He’d know, he’s been there and it wasn’t an easy thing to do, admitting you were wrong. It was even harder to change things because that meant a constant acknowledgement that you had failed in some way to get it right the first time. Steve has always been something of a perfectionist so it made admitting to making mistakes especially hard, especially with Bucky. He was the first person he had allowed himself to care about in so long and he completely botched it. That had not been a pleasant thing to acknowledge.

“Better to admit to your faults and improve than never admit to them at all,” Howard says, sounding surprisingly insightful. “It’s been a hard lesson for me to learn over the years, one I never should have had to learn to begin with. My father liked to think himself perfect and I always told myself I’d never be like him. Pretty sure the worst thing that’s ever happened to me was waking up one morning and realizing I went one step further than becoming him, I ended up something worse.”

“So Tony has told me, if his stories are true,” Steve says. He didn’t doubt Tony per se, but it was entirely possible that he left details out or exaggerated others. Tony had a flair for the dramatic when he wasn’t too busy either trying to get people to listen to him or trying to get people away from him. Sam had been right to question whom Tony even was here, Steve hardly recognized the man anymore. He had no idea how Bucky felt about all of this but it must be hard to watch someone you care about turn into someone else because the weight of the world was placed on their shoulders.

“I’m sure they are. If you think my leadership skills were bad my parenting skills were worse, and god knows I was a shitty husband too. I’ve always been selfish but I’ve taken it to some extremes in the latter half of my life. Guess the best I can do now is try and fix the damage I’ve caused,” he mumbles, sounding resigned to that, like he didn’t quite believe he was capable of redemption. Steve believed that, that Howard wasn’t much capable of redemption. It was hard not to hate the guy when he was a good portion of the reason things were even as bad as they were currently.

But… “drop the arrogance, you aren’t the only one who screwed up. That guy you left in charge, the bald guy who think facial hair makes up for a lack of head hair, he’s bound to have overlooked some stuff,” Steve says. Probably overlooked a lot but he doesn’t say that just yet, he’s pushed Howard far enough.

“Obi?” Howard frowns, “I’m sure he didn’t know about any of this.”

“Then you should feel perfectly comfortable looking into his actions, if you’re so sure that he’s innocent,” Steve says casually. Howard looks uncomfortable and he shifts in his seat, “that’s what I thought. If you’re right then there’s nothing to worry about, but if you’re wrong the consequences are too great for you to look away because you don’t want to have been betrayed by a friend. Sorry.”

“You don’t sound very sorry,” Howard mumbles at him.

“Should I be sorry about this? Logically the answer is no and we both know it so do us both a favor and rip off the Band-Aid, look into your… Obi’s actions. That’s a terrible name by the way,” he says.

Howard snorts, “strong words coming from a man with a son named ‘Bucky’,” he says, smiling just a bit. The action makes him look less like a tired leader and more like a healthy middle-aged man. It looks good on him and Steve resents that, Howard’s good health despite going out of his way to destroy his body from the inside out. He didn’t deserve to be so pretty.

“I didn’t name him, he came that way,” Steve says, “I think it might be short for something but he has no clue what.” For the longest time he didn’t even _have_ a name and boy had that been uncomfortable, Bucky referring to himself in the third person like he was a… a… a _thing_. If Steve ever got his hands on whoever did that to Bucky they best hope they can outrun him.

“I… what?” Howard asks, looking confused, “you don’t know your own kid’s name? I really think you should take back any comments on my bad parenting because I can at least remember Tony’s name.”

“He isn’t my biological child, idiot, I found him in one of those damn test facilities. He was maybe fifteen at the time; it’s hard to tell with the serum. Anyways it took roughly two years for him to remember his name and ‘Bucky’ was all he had, and for the record I agree that it’s a terrible name.” He had a theory that Bucky’s parents must not have been fond of him if they gave him such a crappy name, not that he ever told Bucky that of course.

“Jesus _Christ_ ,” Howard says, “that’s fucking horrible. I thought you looked a bit young to be his father but what do I know, I look young for my age too. Not as young as you, I mean I’ve got greys and you look like… you. And the serum, your Bucky has that too? I thought you said you were the only surviving test subject from that? Is the serum a different serum or something?” he asks.

Steve probably shouldn't take pride in the fact that Howard found him attractive enough to trip up on his words but he was allowed small pleasures. It wasn’t like it meant anything; he wasn’t much fond of the man. He had a lot in common with Tony personality-wise but he was harder, more closed off where Tony was compassionate. Tony might be socially isolated but it had yet to ruin him like it had his father. “Don’t let the face fool you, I’m older than you are but the serum keeps me young. The serum that I got was different, yes, but whatever Bucky got was no less effective, at least for what it was intended for. I heal faster, I’m a bit stronger, and my hearing is sharper but that’s fine-tuning really. I’d assume it was something totally different but I recognized the notes they had from my own round of experiments. They were from the same doctor but they didn’t have the whole formula, I hate to think of what they did to even get as far as they did to make the serum they stuck Bucky with.”

And god knew what kind of pain Bucky went through, Steve had been fully grown by the time the serum was used on him. Bucky wasn’t so lucky and he had no idea how that would have interfered with puberty. He had never really been filled in on the details and at this point he was glad for it.

“You’re older than me? Must be nice to not have greys,” Howard says, eying Steve’s blonde hair jealously.

“Pretty much everyone I know has been used in illegal human experiments, grey hair would be a blessing in place of that,” Steve says, rolling his eyes at Howard’s callousness.

Howard heaves out a sigh and picks himself up out of his chair before wandering over to a lamp. He fiddles with the object for a moment before tossing Steve something, “lighten the fuck up,” Howard says as Steve catches a light bulb. “Your life is shit and that’s awful, but now you’re living a life of luxury so go pet some cats or something. Or dogs, if you like being slobbered on. You clearly need a break so go take one; you’ve got a stick shoved pretty far up your ass. God knows why Tony likes you; he usually hates the sanctimonious types. I mean he hates me but that’s pretty warranted to be fair,” Howard jokes and Steve’s a bit lost on the humor of that last bit but he keeps his mouth shut on the issue.

Instead he considers his options, including throwing the light bulb he was currently holding back at Howard’s smug head. But the man had a point; he hadn’t gotten the luxury of living like this so he might as well enjoy it while Tony tried to push his issues forward. “Got any motorcycles?” he asks and Howard grins.

“Oh thank god, I was starting to think your personality was all cardboard no fun. You might have been through hell but I see no reason why that should eliminate all semblance of any decent character traits,” Howard says.

“Coming from you that’s a joke,” Steve counters.

“I’m a peach,” Howard says completely unironically. Now Steve knew where Tony got that weird habit of flipping back and forth between loving and hating himself, assuming this was a habit of Howard’s.

“I think you might have fallen from the tree,” Steve says.

“I’m still salvageable,” Howard shoots back.

“Maybe to the worms,” Steve quips and to his surprise Howard laughs.

“And _now_ I see why Tony likes you, you’re clever, that always has been a trait he’s looked for in people,” Howard tells him. So Steve knew, everyone he connected with considerably deeply was clever in at least one way. It was clear Tony valued the intelligence in people, and that he looked for more than one kind of intelligence. That was a trait Steve could appreciate.

“I can see why he doesn’t like you, then,” he says and Howard snorts, rolling his eyes and taking the jab in jest.

“Yeah, yeah, poke fun all you want but I’m the one with the motor cycles,” he points out. Steve sighs and resigns himself to his fate because it’s been forever since he’s ridden.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One, sorry it took so long! I have like 3 assignments due in two weeks, readings, and a 4th assignment my teacher let me clean up before grading it thankfully. 
> 
> Two, warnings for this chapter include a mention of domestic violence and I think that might be it? If not let me know and I'll put whatever I missed in the warning list.
> 
> Three, I hope y'all like my hand-wavy science. It is very hand wavy and sleep-deprived, look for no realism here my friends I know dick all about evolution aside from what I would consider the basics of it.

Tony doesn’t sleep very well, Bucky notices; though this isn’t the first time he’s gathered evidence of that. His limbs twitch, as does his nose, and he makes small noises that make him sound either annoyed of fearful. He isn’t sure if Tony is having a nightmare of if this was normal for him and it made his skin itch more than it already did. Pepper has tried a few times to kick him out but he found himself sneaking back in in new and increasingly creative ways that Tony might laugh at if he wasn’t reoccupied with whatever he was dreaming about. Logically he knew this was ridiculous but if he stayed away too long he got cranky, and his skin itched, and he had the weird urge to sneak his way back into Tony’s room to take care of him.

The problem was that he had no clue what the hell to do once he got there and his stupid instincts weren’t telling him what his presence was supposed to do for Tony. Apparently his instincts were only content to make him pissed off and irritated when he wasn’t around Tony and he had no damn clue what that meant. He could hazard a guess but he had no clue what bonding looked like and he had no clue if that was even what this was. When Tony’s eyes blink open he can’t tell if he’s happy about that or if he wants to flee the scene.

“Dude, were you watching me sleep?” Tony asks, pushing himself into a half-sitting position, “that’s creepy as hell”.

Bucky looks away, “I was not watching you sleep,” he lies. Tony snorts at him, calling him on the lie without actually saying much of anything. “Fine, so I was, but that’s because when I leave you alone I feel… I don’t know. Like bugs are crawling around under my skin or something,” Tony’s eyes widen at the words, “I’m going to assume you know what’s going on?” he asks. It was meant to be more of a statement but the words came out sounding more uncertain than that.

“I… uh, didn’t see this coming. You know anything about omega bonds?” Tony asks. He blinks and his head droops a little but he perks up after a second. Bucky, like an idiot, reaches out to feel Tony’s forehead for a fever that he knows will be there because that’s what heats entail.

“You’re really hot,” he says, frowning. Tony felt warmer than he should be, or at least he _thinks_ Tony is warmer than he was supposed to be. “And I know of omega bonds. I’m not exactly fluent in the knowledge at all.”

“I’m not sure you know what ‘heat’ means, Bucky bee, but a fever is normal. And omega bonds, hell, where do I start?” Tony wrinkles his nose and tries his best to gather himself but the large yawn and drooping eyes indicate he needed to sleep more. Of course when he tells Tony this he is promptly told to fuck off.

Bucky can’t help but grin at that, happy that Tony’s usual fire and passion didn’t go anywhere, he just happened to be stressed. More stressed than he was in an environment Bucky would have assumed would produce a lot more distress. But Tony handled that distress just fine, working with things as they happened and here… Bucky had no clue what was going on. It wasn’t that Tony didn’t explain the problem; it was that Bucky didn’t understand the problem. Tony had it pretty much made here, he had all the food, water, health care, and whatever else he wanted at his fingertips and he… didn’t want it? Bucky couldn’t really imagine throwing all this away but he also got the feeling that he was missing things, pieces of Tony’s story that might put things into context. He still didn’t get why anyone would throw all this away though, let alone why they would be happier without it all.

“Fine, don’t go back to sleep, but you should probably take a lukewarm shower to cool down a little. Then you can explain the whole bonding thing,” he says, trying to compromise with Tony. He was a hardheaded asshole when he wanted to be but Bucky has been dealing with Steve for years, he knew how to deal with a stubborn asshole.

*

Howard didn’t much want to look into Obadiah’s actions but he knew that was because he knew exactly what he’d find. So when he finds what he was expecting and a whole lot more he fights the nausea and goes to find Steve. He was no fool, Obadiah has been playing his ass since Maria died, maybe even before that, and he was likely finding some way to manipulate Tony too. Why else would both of them have been so blind to things that were sitting right in front of them?

“And you expect me to do what, exactly?” Steve asks when Howard finds him. His eyes are narrowed and his posture tight- he was suspicious and Howard didn’t blame him. If their positions were reversed he would likely be just as suspicious, maybe even more so. He was a naturally suspicious and skeptical person; Tony had inherited that from him, so if he were in Steve’s position he would have put far less faith in himself than Steve has.

“What do I expect you to do? Give me some advice here or something, _that’s_ what I expect. What’s with the look? Do you seriously think I’m in any way qualified to actually fix this mess? I’m the reason this mess exists and the list of names I have here is huge. I basically have to start a new government, and open a jail. And god knows what the hell I’m supposed to do with everyone outside the city walls,” he says, throwing his hands up. Was Steve seriously that blind? What idiot would assume that Howard had any sort of qualifications to deal with a problem this large? He certainly didn’t trust himself because he had no evidence that he was capable of dealing with this. Steve, however, has _lived_ the issue at hand, it gave him a set of skills that Howard didn’t have and it would certainly benefit the general population. He didn’t think he would need to explain that.

Steve frowns, “what do you mean you have no idea what to do with everyone outside the walls? Let them in, you idiot,” Steve snaps.

“Would they even _want_ that?” he asks logically. He’s thought through the issue and he knew Tony had opinions on it, not that he was in the place to deliver them currently. How the hell he hid his heats Howard had no idea but Tony was resourceful, shockingly so, if anyone could figure it out it’d be him. He miniaturized the arc reactor design with lab scraps and then _made_ a new element out of Howard’s doodles, hiding heats was probably child’s play to him.

“Of course they would, why wouldn’t they?” Steve asks, eyebrows drawing together.

The words draw Howard’s attention back to the problem at hand and he frowns back at Steve. “Would you want anything to do with a government that turned out into a lab rat?” Howard asks. He wouldn’t and that would make any sort of integration initiatives hard. “To be honest we say we’re opening up the walls I’d wonder what was going on, what way I was about to get fucked over. Ideally it makes sense to integrate everyone in but realistically they probably want nothing to do with the government that tried to kill them. I sure as hell wouldn’t, they didn’t care before they don’t now and all that.” Or maybe he was just a spiteful ass, that was always a possibility. These days it was hard to tell what was loneness and hurt and what was genuine.

Steve considers the words for a moment and Howard can see him come to the same conclusion that he had. It was surprisingly relieving to have someone else agree, particularly someone who didn’t like him much. Made him feel less like he was going crazy and more like he was thinking logical for the first time in… in as far back as he could remember. “I uh… didn’t think of that,” Steve admits and he looks like he’s swallowed a lemon. Howard snorts and smiles because he could relate to not liking being wrong or thinking of all the possibilities. It used to endlessly drive him nuts that Tony was so good at coming up with new things without even trying and it made Howard a pretty ugly person for a long time. Or still, probably.

“Great. Guess I need someone less hopeful to help me out with this, I suppose there’s the one that liked cats…” Howard mumbles more to himself than Steve. God knew he wouldn’t go through the effort of somehow managing to half climb a rickety lattice to rescue some stupid cat that had gotten stuck at the top. The animal hadn’t even been grateful either; it took off the moment the guy set it on the ground. He never has been an animal person, closest he came was tolerating cats and that was mostly because Tony liked the furry little annoyances.

“T’Challa? Yeah I doubt it, he hates you,” Steve says, ever the blunt one. Howard wasn’t sure if he wanted to punch Steve for it or be grateful. People were rarely blunt with him like that and to be honest he could use it. Maria had always been up front with him and it was the reason he loved her, ‘course it was also the reason he hit her when he started drinking too much and it ultimately led to her death.

“Yeah but he likes Tony, I can use that,” Howard says, thinking out of the problem easily. It was clear that he had some sort of respect for Tony; he never got the dirty looks that Howard did.

“You’re an asshole, anyone ever tell you that?” Steve says, eyes narrowed in annoyance or anger Howard wasn’t sure. Probably both.

“Grab a number and get in line with all the other people waiting for me to give a damn what they think. If you don’t feel like wasting you time, though, you can help me out a little with what the hell to do with all the information I have. And where did your Bucky go?” he asks, remembering suddenly that he hasn’t seen the brunette in awhile.

“I don’t know where Bucky is and you know, for a guy who’s been screwed over by everyone he knows you’re pretty calm,” Steve notes.

“My life has been going wrong since birth, what’s another pile of shit to the rest?” Howard says flippantly, “and I knew already. Not that I wanted to admit it- look, who cares alright, just find your Bucky and give me a hand, yeah?” he asks. Of course Steve had to go and bring that up, _obviously_ , but Howard, he was too burnt out to care. He had gone through years and years of anger, hurt, despair, loss, loneliness; he was exhausted with emotion right now. He has nothing else left to give and it served him better to just solve the problem instead of wallowing in his own stew of feelings. He’s gone down that route; it was what led him here. Logic told him to do the opposite.

*

Bucky turned out to be right about taking a cool shower, not that Tony ever admit that to him. But he felt less like he was being baked alive when he exits the water, though he was no less tired than when he went in. He was keeping that to himself too because he didn’t want to off and prove Bucky right about needing more rest. He was fine, damnit, he just needed to like… sit down or something.

When he makes his way back into his room he finds that Bucky has changed the sheets and opened the curtains. Thankfully it makes Tony feel less like he wants to fall into bed and sleep for the next century. Bucky also gathered some food and Tony suddenly realized how hungry he is when he spies it. “Thought so,” Bucky says with a grin that is almost infectious.

“You’re a saint,” Tony says, making his way back to his bed to sit. He might not feel as tired as he had five minutes ago but he was still dead on his feet. The dip in his mattress is a better indication that Bucky has climbed into bed with him than his stupid senses.

“You alright?” Bucky asks gently, pulling Tony into his grasp. Tony goes willingly, curling up under Bucky’s arm and breathing in his scent.

“‘M’fine,” he mumbles, pressing his face to Bucky’s chest and sniffing. Gotta make up for all that sniffing Bucky did.

“Awesome, please explain what the hell is going on,” Bucky says and Tony is shocked out of his sniffing because right, Bucky had no clue what this was. And why would he? It wasn’t like he had an abundance of omega friends. Okay, he didn’t have an abundance of omega friends that he knew were omegas.

“Right, shit. Okay. Um. Guess I’ll start at the beginning then. As far as evolution is concerned betas are the baseline, I mean there was like a five hundred year period where alphas all thought they were the baseline because they were selfish dicks at the time but that isn’t true. Anyways, so betas were the baseline for a good chunk of time but then some sort of genetic anomaly occurred, I can’t remember where on the human evolution chain it was but we had alphas. They weren’t popular really, they were a mutation, but eventually the mutation became part of the norm. But when Homo Sapiens came along they brought another mutation; omegas. It took like forever like forever for people to stop fighting over whether or not omegas had souls but once they got over that they noticed two things. One, omegas were extremely fertile, and two, some omegas formed really strong bonds with alphas,” Tony explains. He pauses in his explanation to yawn and Bucky snickers.

“This is all very fascinating Tony, but I already knew at some point evolution tossed omegas in the mix. Didn’t know betas were the baseline though, and what was that bit about omegas not having souls? Did anyone prove that alphas and betas had souls to prove that omegas didn’t?” he asks. Tony snorts because no, they did not because logic was lost on earlier populations. Shit, logic was lost on _this_ population.

“Gotta know all the background stuff, Bucky, or the rest is just a bunch of junk. So alphas, back when they were self-absorbed dicks, assumed that omegas had no evolutionary purpose and why would they? We’re basically useless for a week out of every month, that doesn’t exactly promote the ‘survival of the fittest’ thing. Two if they also happen to have a uterus, I mean menstrual cycles don’t make you useless but people sucked then. Anyways. They assumed foolishly that omegas were just a stubborn mutation that flourished instead of dying out like it should have. The problem with _that_ was that is that alphas actually spent a long time dying out but once omegas hit the mix they suddenly flourished. But why?”

“Good question, when are you going to get to the point?” Bucky asks, interrupting his lecture.

“You’re an ungrateful heathen and I am an underappreciated gem. Now calm yourself, I’m getting there. So why the bounce back for alphas once omegas hit the scene? I mean they were basically a useless mutation before; betas had no use for their weird and quite useless hormonal nature. They were essentially the Jar Jar Binks of evolution-” Tony says and Bucky cuts him off.

“I’m nothing like Jar Jar Binks!” Bucky says, offended at the comparison.

“Yeah, because my omega ass saved you and made you more like Chewbacca. Now you were less ‘annoying bumbling twits’ and more ‘lovable sidekicks’. Point is that alphas were a useless mutation and they were dying out fast until omegas got there- now their hormonal nature and brute strength had a use besides human sacrifice. Seriously, betas hated alphas so much they straight up sacrificed them for better and more abundant betas. So all those idiot alphas that thought they were the pinnacle of evolution basically ignored the better part of history to make omegas useless when in reality we’re the only reason you’re still around. So the bonds, initially the theories were that omegas were useless so they had to attach themselves to someone to continue, which ingenious so I have no clue why people talked about it like we were parasites or something,” he says, irritated.

“Get to the point, Tony,” Bucky tells him, eyebrow raised.

“Honestly I feel so attacked right now, I’m giving you beautiful lesson why alphas are not extinct due to their over hormonal and volatile nature. I mean to be fair since you guys first popped up you’ve calmed the hell down but that’s because you’ve sort of evolved with the intention of finding yourselves a cute little omega to bond to,” Tony says.

“Okay, but we aren’t a reproductive couple so that’s a pretty useless theory,” Bucky points out.

“Well if you would shut your trap I would explain that. So, as you pointed out the initial reproduction theories were wrong, and historically speaking that doesn’t match up either. Bonded pairs tended to be politically powerful and influential but they only reproduced about half the time. Usually omegas would find themselves a beta to have kids with, but kids are hard and the third person, the alpha, helped balance things out. Essentially you evolved to be homemakers and protectors, and it helps that you’re naturally drawn to the hormone stew that is the omega body when our bodies decide to douse us in hormones to make sure we’re super fertile. Plus we’re cute, like it’s scientifically proven that omegas are the cutest. The bonds, from an evolutionary standpoint, were to ensure alphas didn’t die out and to ensure that children and those that were best equipped to produce them were well-cared for,” Tony finishes, impressed with himself.

“We evolved to be polyamorous? That’s… why the hell are we monogamous, then?” Bucky asks, frowning.

“Agriculture and capitalism. Agriculture started it with land disputes, but capitalism continued the trend of keeping the money in the family, which meant keeping your omega or beta faithful to only you so you knew for sure your property and money stayed in your blood line. I mean alphas could sleep around all they wanted but omegas and betas got the shit end of the stick. Especially omegas, at least until the plague hit and you know how all that went,” Tony says, loosely waving a hand around.

Bucky nods, “alright, that’s all well and good but how the hell does this thing work? I mean ace science lesson but that gives me no practical knowledge of what the hell is happening right now,” Bucky says.

“Oh shit, right. Surprise, I trapped you in a permanent relationship with my hormones, sorry,” he says in a false cheerful tone.

“ _What_?” Bucky asks, shocked, “there’s no way to reverse this?” he asks.

“Ouch, you wound me,” Tony says dramatically to cover actual hurt.

“No, no, its not- I mean you can’t possibly want to be stuck with _me_ ,” Bucky says, wrinkling his nose at the possibility.

“Trust me, you’re great and if it was down to you or my other prospects I would gladly pick you every time. I mean I can stand talking to you for any length of time let alone being permanently bonded to you. And yes, you can chemically sever the bond, it used to be a popular past time for alphas to bond with omegas during their heats and then chemically sever the bonds after for laughs. Then it was declared a form of extreme torture and it became punishable by life in prison and it was the omegas that were laughing. But if there is a bond created by force by either party it can be chemically severed, or you could just ditch me now and ignore the instinct to come crawling back. Then we won’t actually bond and no harm done,” Tony tells him.

“I’m not leaving you, Tony, of _course_ I’m not leaving you. But how does this bond things work?” he asks.

“No clue, all I’ve got it the science behind it because some fucknut decided that the bonds were too sacred for people to know about and burned all recorded knowledge of them. So we’re both in the dark with how this works. If it helps I’ve heard all kinds of crazy shit, everything from bonds being a really strong relationship to a telepathic connection to your bonded. I’d ask around but it’s a taboo subject and no one will tell me much of anything, I’ve tried. So uh, leave now or forever hold your peace,” he says, half expecting Bucky to go eve though he said he’d stay.

Bucky shifts and Tony closes his eyes, stomach sinking but he had expected this, it wasn’t a problem. He wouldn’t want to be bonded to him either, not with all that pesky god business and all the political backlash that was going to come with it. But the bed shifts back towards Tony and he opens his eyes to find that Bucky is holding the food he had brought in earlier. He’d reach over to take a piece of the food but his body was too exhausted to do even that at this point. Thankfully Bucky seems to get the memo and he picks up a piece of fruit, holding it out for Tony to take a bite.

He does, gently, and _damn_ has he missed strawberries. They were sweeter than he remembered, rich in flavor, and the piece of familiarity calmed him some. “Good,” Bucky murmurs, holding out another piece of fruit for Tony to eat. He takes it gratefully, biting into it as gently as he had with the last piece. Bucky repeats the process with more food until Tony’s eyes were drooping more than before, now going into something of a food coma. He hadn’t realized how awful his diet had become until he had his balanced diet back. Ultimately it was unsurprising that his heats had all but stopped while he was gone when his stress levels and diet had been sitting at such unhealthy levels. Granted his stress wasn’t really reduced here, if anything it was amplified, but his diet being balanced again was enough to bring his stupid heats back with a vengeance. Or maybe that was Extremis affecting his biology. He didn’t care.

“Go to sleep, Tony, you need it,” Bucky murmurs into his hair. Tony wants to tell him to fuck off like he had before but he doesn’t, instead his stupid body betrays him by passing out like Bucky told him. The last thing that went though his mind before he dropped off was wondering how the hell Bucky knew anything about Star Wars. He’d ask later, if he remembered.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! End of summer assignments, ugh.
> 
> Warnings include mentions of child abuse and I think that's it, if not let me know!
> 
> And, if anyone is keeping up with other stories, I accidentally updated this chapter to the wrong one so oops. BUT, it's on the right damn thing now. So! Here ya go and sorry for any confusion!
> 
> I am so sorry about the damn symbols and shit on the first uploaded version of this chapter, but it's fixed now! Sorry again!

When Tony wakes up his body hurts and his mind is slightly clouded but he has a lot of energy and he was not going to waste it all being cooped up in his room. Bucky makes an irritated noise when he tries to leave the bed though, wrapping his arm around Tony’s waist and dragging him back into the blankets. “Stay,” Bucky tells him, pressing his face into the space between Tony’s shoulder blades. He wiggles around and Bucky makes more noises of protest but he lets Tony move. Tony flips himself over so he’s facing Bucky and curls up next to him, compelled to press his face into Bucky’s chest. It was weird, the instincts, because he’s never gotten them before. Some omegas talked about knowing immediately who was right for them, usually an alpha, by their sense of smell or some invisible pull towards the person.

Tony had never gotten that though, never had an interest in any alphas or betas he’s been subjected to and then… Bucky. It hadn’t been something that happened right away with all that suspicion but then came the bonding and stuff and it just _worked_. Bucky curls himself around Tony’s body and grins into Tony’s hair, “love you,” he murmurs and Tony can _feel_ the love radiating from Bucky.

“Love you too,” he whispers back, content to lay there for a few more moments before he decided to work off all that energy.

*

He wasn’t listening, Steve could plainly see it, but Howard insisted on putting his opinion out there anyways. Not that Bucky was having any of it, “oh shut _up_ , you don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Bucky snaps.

Howard’s eyebrows hit his hairline, “oh, and _you_ know better than me? You know nothing about Tony, until two weeks ago you didn’t even know who he _was_ ,” he snaps back.

“No asshole, _you’re_ the one who has no idea who Tony is. The only information I was missing was his last name,” Bucky says. Steve can’t help but think he’s right after all that he’s seen of Tony here. When they had been at the hospital Tony was bright, passionate, aware, helpful, and playful. Here he was emotionally distant, suspicious, angry, and he was constantly on edge. Some of that was certainly the effects of Yinsen’s death weighing on him still, grieving didn’t happen in a night and he was likely still upset about it. And then there were all the other issues he was trying to find a way to solve and it was clear that he was under an extreme amount of pressure. It didn’t surprise Steve that Tony was cracking under it.

“Please, I have a lifetime of experience and you’ve got what? A half a year of him pretending to be someone else?” Howard says, rolling his eyes as if that was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

“More like a half a year with the freedom to be who he is,” Bucky counters and Howard’s jaw clenches.

He probably would have continued but Steve was annoyed with this argument, “shut up, Howard. Bucky’s right, you have no clue who Tony is because he doesn’t feel safe actually being himself here.” Howard’s mouth snaps shut and he considers Steve’s words, _really_ considers them rather than just pretending to have heard what the other person said when he was really planning his next statement. He had no idea where Howard’s healthy amount of respect came from given that he hasn’t been all that nice to the guy.

“And what makes you think what you saw was the truth?” Howard asks eventually. Steve can see Tony wince in his peripheral vision and Bucky’s arm tightens around his waist. At least Howard wasn’t freaking out over the bonding thing; anyone with a working nose could smell Bucky’s and Tony’s scents mingling, or maybe Howard was working through one problem at a time.

“The fact that he was happy,” Steve says bluntly and this time Howard is the one wincing. Good, he deserved to suffer for making his son’s life hell. “Ever since he’s come back here all the light I saw in him is gone, sucked out by a city of people placing the world on his shoulders and growing more and more upset that he can’t carry the weight. No one can survive that kind of pressure,” Steve says. People were getting antsy; confused as to why Tony was more concerned with the group of people he came back with than them. They were selfish, Steve thought, to assume that their lives were more important than the lives of the people Tony brought back. He understood their anger and frustration, yes, but they didn’t have the full story and they weren’t even interested in getting it.

And on top of all that they assumed that Tony was the cure to all their social ills and they were growing more and more angry with each passing day when he failed to live up to their standards. The problem with making a man a god is that a man isn’t perfect, and in Steve’s opinion neither is god. Why else would the world have descended into chaos, death, and destruction? Steve was a believer, always had been, but he wasn’t entirely sure of god believed in humanity and honestly Steve saw why. He might be idealistic but he wasn’t stupid, there were some truly atrocious people on this earth. He’d like to say that he was realistic but his arguments with Howard proved that perhaps he held more hope than he initially suspected. It had never occurred to him that people wouldn’t want anything to do with the government that wronged him- all he saw was unity. If he was lucky he wasn’t wrong about seeing that.

Howard sighs deeply, “I’m just trying to stop him from pushing himself so much,” he says.

“No, you’re upset that Tony isn’t following your every order and you’re penalizing him by trying to send him to his room like he’s a child instead of a grown man. Has it occurred to you that this kind of behavior is why he hates you so much?” Steve asks sharply, earning another wince out of Howard.

“Strong words from a man that spent well over a decade convincing me not to follow my own instincts because he couldn’t stand the thought of me thinking for myself,” Bucky says, tone just as sharp as Steve’s had been. Steve winches hard, his face flushing a harsh red from shame and embarrassment. He looks away for a moment.

“Well _done_ , Bucky,” Tony says, some of his missing light returning as he gives Bucky an adoring look.

*

“What have you found?” T’Challa asks Phil. He has a large stack of paperwork, a map, a box of pushpins, and dark circles under his eyes but he also has determination. So far they had agreed to disagree with how to handle this situation but Phil was still a trusted friend and a good man, T’Challa had more than enough faith that he would do the right thing, whatever he thought that was.

“It’s _way_ worse than we thought,” he says softly, dropping his map on the table in front of him. “This is way bigger than even just the plague, these groups go back to _World War Two_. There are a few names I pulled, like Ten Rings and A.I.M, but HYDRA is by far the worst. I think Ten Rings and A.I.M are just offshoots of HYDRA but I don’t have quite enough evidence to prove that. Point is nearly every government system is almost entirely comprised of HYDRA. You might have been right about needing to destroy the system, there’s no way we can get rid of all these people without doing that.”

Phil looks stressed and slightly panicked so T’Challa lays a hand on his shoulder, “we will handle this, we will tell Tony and… figure it out,” he says but there is no conviction there. Phil tried to help his people only to nearly get assassinated by his own government multiple times. T’Challa tried to help his own people only to be ejected from his home country. There were probably more stories that were similar that followed the same basic arc and that left him with little hope for the future.

“I don’t think we can handle something this big,” Phil says quietly. He touches the papers gingerly, savoring how they felt, and T’Challa understands the pain. He missed his home too, his people, and more than that he missed all the small things that reminded him of who he was. For Phil that was research, paperwork, and lawmaking. T’Challa missed soup, campfires, Bast, and dancing. He missed leadership as his country understood it too, but it was the loss of his traditions that hit him the hardest. Sometimes he wondered if his father was ashamed that he had all but completely lost touch with his roots. He liked to think his father would understand but he was a proud man, a good man, and T’Challa knew he would not be happy that his son had given up hope on all that was important to him. He would tell T’Challa to fight, to win, but T’Challa did not have much fight left. When you loose everything that is dear to you it does not leave you in the position to get back up again.

But he had not lost his love for his father, he would never forget that, and for that reason he would find a way. He would make his father proud, even if he would never see his father’s face again. “We can and we will,” he says in a strong tone, “we will figure something out and we will win.” They had to, there was too much at stake if they didn’t and he was not taking that change.

Phil regroups some and straightens up, “yeah, yeah okay. We can do this, we can, we just need a course of action,” he says. He nods to himself, building up his own resolve and strength. It was a trait that T’Challa admired about Phil and even Clint. Neither of them walked away in the face of adversity and that took a kind of bravery that not many people possessed.

“We have two technopaths, two highly trained super soldiers, a man who can shrink to the size of an ant, and several intelligent people on our side. Call Scott and Sam, they can gather information and collect evidence. Tony and Bucky are out of commission for now but Tony’s heat should end in a few days, in the meantime compile the information to present to him. Clint and I can observe,” he says.

“Oh please don’t take Clint in public. He’s in denial about his hearing and he can’t tell that he’s yelling,” Phil says.

“Fine. I can take Rhodey instead, he will likely be happy to get out of bed,” he says. T’Challa would have gone stir crazy almost as soon as he woke up so he had no idea how Rhodey was handling being bedridden. Likely well, the man was very resilient and had an ability to adapt to new situations very quickly. He might be better in this situation than Clint actually, Clint had a tendency to get distracted by anything food related and there was a surplus of the stuff here. The last thing T’Challa needed was Clint running off in the pursuit of a taco.

*

He wanted to be better than Howard, better than the man his father was, but he wasn’t. Not really. It would be easy to say he was better than Howard because he never hit Bucky but his father never hit him either, that didn’t mean he didn’t still feel the effects of his abuse to this day. So much so that he had recreated a similar dynamic with Bucky without even trying and that was embarrassing, shameful. That wasn’t the legacy he wanted but it would be irresponsible to ignore his behavior because it made him feel better. Doing that would help no one, least of all himself.

“You look like you could use a drink,” Howard says, handing Steve a drink of what looked like juice. After a moment of deliberation he takes it, confirming that the cup was filled with juice.

“Not exactly strong enough but I can’t get drunk anyways so I guess it doesn’t matter,” he mumbles, looking into the dark pink liquid.

“Well, there isn’t any alcohol left in the Tower anyways. I tossed it all, even my secret stashes. I might want one but the last thing I need is a drink. I’m mean sober and all alcohol as done is make it worse,” Howard says. Steve winces and his first instinct is to judge the man for it but that wasn’t very fair of him. At least Howard could argue his abuse stemmed from an altered state of mind, Steve didn’t even have that so what was his excuse? Logically neither of them were off the hook for their behavior but at least Howard could pretend to hide behind something.

“So I’ve heard,” Steve says quietly. He doesn’t look up from his drink and he half wished it were alcohol just to feel the burn as it went down his throat. The warmth would be soothing right about now.

“What? No scathing comments and harsh judgments?” Howard quips, sitting down beside Steve.

“That’d be a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?” he asks.

“So? We’re all a bunch of hypocritical assholes, might as well embrace it. Don’t make faces at me Steve, we all have opinions and beliefs that contradict, it’s human nature to make no sense. We spend our entire lives changing, moving from one moment to the next, gathering new information, and correcting old information. It’s bound to confuse the hell out of us to the point where we don’t know what to believe anymore. We do things we don’t like; maybe even things that were done to us, because that’s all the information we have and we’re bound to reproduce it. Doesn’t make us evil, it makes us human. We’d be evil if we knew and didn’t care. I’ve spent a lot of time like that so trust me, I know,” he says.

Steve looks over to find Howard looking down at him, sitting with perfect posture despite the heavy subject. Steve himself is hunched, weighted down with his own guilt and Howard… he seemed to carry it with him but not like Steve. “What the hell went so wrong in your life that you could ever come to the conclusion that abusing your child makes you anything less than evil?” he asks harshly.

Howard snorts, “and _there’s_ that self righteousness I was expecting. When are you going to get it, Steve? Your black and white worldviews aren’t supported by reality because reality is never black and white. Things aren’t that simple. And I get it, if you had’ve asked me this when I was fifteen and fresh out of my parent’s abusive household I would say future me was evil too. But I’m not. And not because I think what I did was in any way right, it wasn’t, but I never hated Tony. I mean I resented him because he was a reminder of Maria and everything I thought I lost, but I never stopped loving him. It’s easy to say abusers are evil people but that isn’t true, abusers love you, care about you, maybe even want what’s best for you as they see fit. Doesn’t make them right, but you can’t ignore the good because of the bad, and you can’t ignore the bad because of the good. People are complex, and it’s disingenuous to say that abusers are evil because it ignores what abuse looks like a lot of the time. Do you really want to risk that?”

He wants to deny Howard’s words but they held truth, even if Steve didn’t fully agree. “Sounds like you’re making excuses for yourself,” he says.

“Yeah, you would say that. Tell me this, which Steve am I to take as the ‘real’ Steve? The guy that all but took on an entire system gone wrong out of righteous fury at injustice or the one that abused his kid? You wanna believe good and evil sit on some stupid binary because wallowing in your own self pity makes you feel better, fine, that’s your business. But good and evil aren’t opposites Steve, people are rarely pure evil and no one is pure goodness. Good people do bad things and bad people do good things because that’s how people work. I’m not making excuses; I’m accepting reality regardless of how shitty it might be. You want to talk hypocrisy? Try the fact that you think everyone should fit a mold of perfection that you don’t even fit and then get pissed off when people fail to live up to your arbitrary standards,” Howard says harshly.

“So what, we accept that we suck and stop trying?” he snaps, irritated with Howard’s stupid philosophical arguments.

“Jesus Christ, where the hell did you even _hear_ that? I said that good and evil are fluid and exist in any one person at any one time and that we should accept that, not that we should endorse it. God, no wonder you’re so damn disappointed with life, you aren’t even willing to accept that people make mistakes, sometimes really big ones, even when you’re the one making them. You’d be a lot happier if you just accepted that you’re inevitably going to do bad things, we all do, and then we work to not do them again because being a good person isn’t never doing evil things, it’s trying to not do them again.” Howard looks weirdly righteous and Steve clenches his jaw, unwilling to accept that people can’t be all good. What was wrong with having that kind of faith? Of course people did bad things, but that didn’t mean it always needed to be that way.

“You should have brought me something stronger than juice if you wanted to give me a lecture in philosophy,” he mumbles.

“Shit, if I knew I was going to argue about you about good and evil I would have stayed in the house. Next time get your own juice,” Howard tells him.

“Fine, then I can seek you out with a rebuttal,” he says.

“I don’t need your nutty opinions on good an evil thanks, no need to remind me that I’ll never measure up. I’ve got an entire kid that reminds me of how much I’ve failed on a regular basis. Speaking of- I’m pissed about that bonding thing and I intend to have a conversation with Tony and Bucky about this. But now you legally can’t be deported- technically the wording of the law states that family is indicated by a strong bond between individuals that is neither romantic nor platonic- so I could have pushed that to keep you here but it’s flimsy. But no one can argue a chemical bond doesn’t indicate family and no one in their right mind would suggest chemically severing it. So I guess you should thank your irresponsible child for saving your asses,” Howard says.

“You leave Bucky and Tony alone, they’re happy,” Steve tells him, fully prepared to make sure that he did, in fact, leave Bucky and Tony be. “And Bucky is not the irresponsible one out of the two, thank you.” Bucky knew better than to go jumping out of buildings and such, Tony practically made a career out of irresponsibility. Like the time he ate off a plague victims fork.

“Oh no, no, you don’t get to tell me to leave Bucky and Tony alone. I heard you spent five months bullying Tony because you didn’t think he was good enough, my turn. And all I want is a simple conversation, not five months of tormenting the guy. And Tony is plenty responsible, when he wants to be anyways,” Howard says, neatly skirting around his child’s habit of doing stupid, dangerous things.

“I did not _bully_ Tony,” Steve says, indignant. So he did but he didn’t need to tell Howard that.

“Did so, you’re a shitty liar,” Howard tells him.

“Fine. But it was more like gentle bullying,” he says.

“Gentle bullying that one time you two got into a fist fight?” Howard asks, eyebrow raised. Steve was going to kick Sam’s ass for telling Howard all this, he knew it was Sam. Or wait- no it was probably Scott because Sam didn’t like Howard and Scott was like a dog- attracted to all who didn’t hate him. And even then he still liked Wanda even though she didn’t like him.

“That’s different, he was bottling his emotions up and he needed to let them out so I maybe goaded him into a fight. It was for a good cause,” he insists.

“Oh, but good and evil never exist at the same time in the same person, huh? Because that was a shitty thing you did for a good reason and I’ll bet it worked, didn’t it? You just proved me right,” Howard says, a cocky grin spreading across his attractive features.

Steve dumps the last two inches of his juice over Howard’s stupid head.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this time I've got the right story and hopefully I will have avoided leaving all the little symbols in there and shit. Sorry about that. 
> 
> Anyways I'm hoping to wrap this sucker up in a few more chapters and I'm contemplating leaving a more open ending. Granted I can't logically solve all the issues I set out in one storyline but I think I might leave it more open that I initially intended. We'll see.
> 
> And for anyone who doesn't know Victor=Victor Shade= Vision, he didn't just come out of nowhere lol.

Tony is thoroughly annoyed with Sam given that the man has figured out how to send emails directly to Tony via Extremis and he insisted at sending them at the most inconvenient of times. Petty asshole. Bucky was annoyed too because all he wanted was some kisses and Sam kept sending email alerts to distract Tony. Finally Tony starts just responding to the flood of emails to irritate Sam right back. He hears Bucky sigh and accept his fate though his hands were still settled on Tony’s waist. Tony leans into the touch because he could still enjoy himself even if Sam was being an asshole.

“I think Sam’s not so subtly implying my break is over,” he mumbles to Bucky after the sixth email alert pings in his head. God, that was annoying.

“I’d hardly call that a break but alright. You sure you’re okay?” Bucky asks, gently brushing some of Tony’s hair out of his face.

“Yeah I’m okay. But like maybe a couple more minutes won’t hurt,” he says, pressing himself into Bucky’s body. Another email alert goes off and Tony decides that Sam Wilson needs to die. Bucky laughs when Tony outright growls in frustration but he sends Sam some emails back informing him that he will meet him in the designated location soon, damnit. If he sends each word as a single email, well, Sam started it.

He and Bucky drag themselves down to Tony’s lab because it is the most secure location in… well the city since they’re going for a place people won’t overhear things. He finds Sam with what looks like a new model of Redwing and everyone else is gathered around listening to Sam brag. “Yeah, yeah, Redwing 2.0 is cool. You can thank me for the supplies later, so what’s up?” he asks. Sam was purposefully vague in his emails alerts but the sense of urgency was still there.

T’Challa and Phil look exchange a look and then launch into the most terrifying lecture Tony has ever had the misfortune of hearing. “So, to be clear, this HYDRA group, they’re everywhere and no we have no goddamn clue who to trust, is that what I’m hearing?” he asks. Because that was bad, that was really bad, because there was no god damn way that he could do all of this on his own, he _needed_ the help of other omegas at least.

“I am afraid so,” T’Challa says and Tony pinches the bridge on his nose, leaning into Bucky when he feels the press of a hand on his lower back.

“Shit. What the hell are we supposed to do now? How to we deal with a problem this large?” at this point it’d be easier to just go start a commune or some other insane solution.

“You have to know _someone_ we can trust,” Sam says, “I… I’m not fond of the idea of working with what we have here considering what we have is a terrorist organization with roots in Nazi ideology, but we don’t have the support to do much else. Please tell me you have someone you trust not to be a Nazi,” Sam says.

“I… I know a woman and she might know some people. I’ll ask,” he says, using Extremis to find a way to send Jane a message.

*

That damn brunette with the metal arm was weirdly familiar and all Natasha could remember was _weak_ when she thought hard. And it was in Russian, which didn’t exactly inspire any faith that her knowledge of this guy was any good. Normally she wouldn’t care about that so much, it wouldn’t be the first time she has run into someone from her past but something about this felt different. Plus… if she was honest with herself, and she didn’t want to be, she had feelings for Pepper and that meant that she didn’t want to see her hurt. If Tony got hurt, regardless of how little Natasha cared for the man, it would hurt Pepper and Bucky was a wildcard. Assuming he was someone from her past than that wasn’t going to end well for anyone involved.

Unfortunately her attempts to try and find information on one Bucky wasn’t going very well considering all he had was a first name. There were no records of birth, no records of schooling, no records of employment, nothing. It was almost like he had never existed at all, as lost to the world as she was. She was missing information, she knew, so she set out to gain that information in order to make sense of all of this. That didn’t mean she was having any luck at all.

Eventually she decides to just go the source in an effort to either jog her memory or gather information some other way. When she finds Bucky she has no intention to tell him anything about her true motives but he gives her little choice when he squints at her and says, “I know you. I know I do, but I have no idea how so who are you?” he asks. He’s suspicious of her, which she finds odd considering she felt like she was the one who should be suspicious.

“Yes, I know you too but I have no idea who you are. Best I’ve got is слабый when I think too hard,” she says and he winces at the word, flinching back like she had hit him. Her eyebrows draw together- that was peculiar.

“I… don’t know why that’s familiar but it is,” he says softly, leaning away from her as far as he could.

“Lovely. That’s absolutely useless information to me. Does… anything about me seem at all familiar?” she asks in an attempt to jog his memory or even her own. She tries desperately for something to come to mind but nothing was drawing her attention in particular.

“Your name, is it Natalia? I feel like you’ve mentioned it before but…” he trails off, shrugging. _That_ draws her attention because she hasn’t gone by Natalia since… before she left. The mission had gone wrong and whatever weapon was used against her, something in mist form, it altered the training that had been conditioned into her. She turned on her handlers and walked away leaving a trail of bodies behind her. For a long time she was on her own until Matt, right away she had known something was different about him and he sensed something different about her too. Poor Foggy almost had a heart attack when the two ended up in a fistfight because he had no idea that Matt could ‘see’ in a manner of speaking, not to mention that he could fight. Natasha liked him, he was tough but not without mercy and up until then she hadn’t even known strength could exist without murder. He taught her a lot but it was Foggy who taught her to feel again and that was when she knew it was time to go.

She was not meant to feel, not meant to connect. She was a weapon, _is_ a weapon, it was irresponsible for her to attach herself to others in case that training kicked back in and she hurt them. “My name is Natasha,” she tells him, “Natalia was never my name.” It was something given to her by people that were cruel and merciless. She wasn’t Natasha either, she was whoever she needed to be, whoever would ensure her survival, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Oh. Okay… did you used to have bangs? You look better without them,” he says, looking at her face hard. And he looked better with longer hair but she shouldn’t know that.

“What _were_ you?” she finally asks, on edge because of the lack of information. She did not like doing things with no plan and if she had no information she had no plan and her head was starting to hurt the way it did when she tried to remember a time she usually left alone. There was no need to remember all the things she has done, what she knew already kept her up at night.

“A… person?” Bucky says, frowning at her. _Asset_ her mind supplies and the headache that had been building throbs harder.

“No, you were a weapon and you’d do well to remember that was all you were ever meant to be. If you care about Tony you’ll leave him alone, he’s safer with you gone,” she says harshly. It was a reminder to herself as much as it was Bucky. They were never meant to be more, to feel, to have a normal life and they shouldn’t try to pretend otherwise. That got people hurt and it wasn’t fair to anyone else. They could suffer alone if that meant no one else ever suffered because of them again. Maybe she didn’t have her answers, not exactly, but she could hazard a guess and she didn’t need a reminder of the Red Room and she certainly didn’t need to spend any time with its victims.

*

Jane hadn’t been abundantly helpful, she knew nothing about the information Tony sent her though she was horrified enough to agree that something needed to be done. So Tony contemplates his options, considers what he needed to do in order to stop people from being hurt. In the end he does what he does best and he takes a risk, a calculated one, but a risk nonetheless. Thus far not one omega has been implicated in any of the crimes he has linked to a scary amount of people, which didn’t mean they weren’t involved, but it did hold hope that perhaps government systems were using them as a mass distraction technique. It had worked in this city with Tony, so well Tony himself was distracted with his duties so to speak. So he sends a message out, one that was vague and a bit cryptic, but if they knew where to look they got a different message entirely.

He could keep track of who opened the messages and what their activity via technology looked like afterwards to avoid trusting the wrong person and Sam had graciously offered to help out. He also sent like fifty emails to passively aggressively tell Tony this but he had a feeling that Sam was teasing him rather than being an ass. It was a nice feeling, gaining at least a little forgiveness from Sam even if he was certain he wasn’t ever going to be forgiven completely. That was okay with Tony; Sam’s reaction was understandable if a little upsetting. Besides, everyone else was alright with him, even Rhodey though he was still having trouble grasping the ‘not a god’ thing. Bucky too, but Tony would deal with that eventually.

Phil and T’Challa were also happy to help and Scott was just happy to have his stupid battle ant back. According to him Antony was necessary to this operation and Tony figured it was harmless to left Scott keep his ant around. The thing flying around freaked the hell out of Howard and that was always a bonus for Tony. Clint and Rhodey have been on observation duty though Tony was pretty sure that Rhodey was pretty done with Clint’s yelling instead of just acknowledging that he was mostly deaf and therefore it was more convenient to use sign language. He was also pretty annoyed that Clint decided it was a good idea to ask Rhodey for a ride in the wheel chair and it resulted in Clint’s toes being run over.

The first email gets opened while they’re all complaining to Scott about his battle ant being on the table with the food so Tony zones out for a moment. He tunes back in when someone- Scott his mind supplies- lets out a loud shriek. “Antony!” he yells, glaring at Pepper, who was currently holding a book with a crushed ant on it. Scott looks downright devastated and Pepper looks so confused. “You killed my ant!” Scott yells, hands buried in his hair.

“I… yes, it was near the food…” Pepper says slowly, not understanding.

“He didn’t even do anything, he was just sitting there like a good ant!” Scott says in a distressed tone. Another email alert goes off in Tony’s head, this one from Sam, asking if they were allowed to laugh. He spies a glance at the man to find him hiding his face half behind his hand, probably to hide the smile. Tony shakes his head slightly; signaling not to laugh because poor Scott was actually upset and even though this was the most absurd situation Tony has ever been in it was mean to laugh at the man’s pain. Sam sends an email with a bunch of smiley faces instead of laughing out loud and Tony figures that at least that was a more sensitive way to go about it. And he was a little heart warmed to know that Sam at least didn’t hate him anymore.

“But… it was an _ant_ , why does it matter? Ants are gross,” Pepper says and Scott makes a weird offended squeak noise in response.

“Antony was not gross! He was a good boy!” Scott insists and Sam lets out a half cough half wheeze noise and leaves the room quickly. “See, Sam gets it,” Scott says indignantly. Sam sends Tony an email with several laughing faces and yeah, Scott was lost on Sam’s true reactions but Tony was more than content to keep it that way.

Steve stands up and places a hand on Scott’s shoulder, “I’m sorry about your ant, Scott,” he says and he sounds so goddamn sincere too. Bucky turns to give him a look, jaw clenched tight in an effort not to start laughing and hurt Scott’s feelings more and Tony can relate. But Steve looks like he hadn’t even considered laughing, proving he was clearly a better person than most of the human race.

“Alright,” Pepper says, “well you can have this ant back now,” she tells him, scraping her book across the edge of the table, successfully depositing Antony’s carcass there. Scott looks offended and Steve’s expression mirrors it, clearly outraged by her insensitivity. “I’m leaving now so you can have your ant funeral in peace,” she says, getting the hell out of dodge. Tony lets out a half laugh half sob sounding noise and he quickly leaves too, lest he hurt Scott’s feelings by laughing at his ant’s death.

When he gets to the hallway he finds Sam laughing his ass off, “she scraped the ant off her book,” Tony tells him and the two dissolve into giggles, Bucky joining them not long after for the same purpose.

*

Howard is doubled over laughing and Steve has never been so offended at a person in his whole life. “That man lost something important to him today,” Steve tells him in a serious tone. Howard starts laughing so hard he stops making noise, “you’re despicable,” Steve mumbles.

“Oh my god you’re taking this seriously,” Howard says, snickering. “Thank you for this, I haven’t had a good laugh in a long time and I needed that.”

“You’re laughing at another man’s loss, that is atrocious!” Steve tells him.

“The guy doesn’t have his stupid ant, big whoop, he can go find like a million more in the garden,” Howard says. What an insensitive prick.

“It won’t be the same,” Steve insists.

“It’s an _ant_ , how different do they come?” he asks shrugging in an uncaring manner.

“As different as any other pet I’m sure,” Steve says. He was going to have to talk to everyone else about this too, the only one who hadn’t laughed at some point was Clint and that’s because he had no clue what was going on given that he couldn’t hear anything. Even T’Challa laughed and Steve expected better of him.

“I hate animals,” Howard says flippantly.

“You’re a bad person,” Steve says, offended on the behalf of dogs everywhere.

“Because I don’t like animals? You need a life evaluation, buddy, animals are messy and annoying and I do include humans in that. Seriously, we’re a mess, have you seen our offspring? Disgusting.” Steve wants to be offended with that but babies were quite gross, even if he happened to like them, throw up included.

“Don’t tell Tony that, he already thinks you hate him,” Steve says. Howard sighs deeply and pinches his nose.

“Well, I guess I did that to myself. Pretty sure Maria would hate me more for what I did to Tony than what I did to her. She’d be proud of Tony though, he turned out pretty good considering all the shit he’s dealt with.” Yeah, Steve would agree with that minus laughing at Scott’s ant dying. That was just cruel and unacceptable, Scott was very attached to that ant and he didn’t deserve to have people laugh at his pain.

“I’d say he had a great father but he didn’t. He did get your sense of humor though, and weird tendency to think he’s the best worst thing in existence,” Steve says. But he got other things too, things that Howard would never have. Both Tony and Bucky, they both had a strength Steve and Howard never did and neither of them saw it.

“Nah, he gets the humor from Maria, she was hilarious. Always had some smartass comment at the ready just like Tony does. It used to drive me nuts because sometimes I swore I was arguing with her again and-” Howard’s voice cracks, “and that was hard. So I made his life hard too and that was unforgivable.”

“So it was, but it doesn’t mean you can’t apologize for it now,” Steve says gently. He had some apologizing to do with Bucky himself.

“Yeah, I doubt he’d forgive me,” Howard says softly.

“Maybe not but that isn’t why you should apologize. Your apology should be because you’re actually sorry, not because you want forgiveness. It isn’t his job to let go of his pain to make you feel better, but you can help him let go of his pain by letting him know that you know what you did was wrong. That should be enough,” he says. God knows he was never going to forgive himself for what he’s done to Bucky even if Bucky chose to let it go.

Howard leans back in his chair and smiles sadly, “if I wanted a philosophy lesson I would have brought juice,” he says, Steve lets out a sharp laugh and shakes his head, always with the damn jokes with him. Tony too, but Steve was starting to understand that more than he had before. Before he thought it was an inability to take things seriously and now he saw that it was more like a method of not falling into a pit of despair on a regular basis. Maybe if he did that he wouldn’t feel so much all at once all the time but he didn’t think so.

“Well, it isn’t to late to go get some,” Steve tells him, smiling softly.

“Ten bucks says I make it to the kitchen first,” Howard says, abandoning his chair and running.

“Which one!” Steve yells after him. When Howard doesn’t answer he rolls his eyes and takes off after the man if for no other reason to find out how the hell this was about to play out. Eventually he locates Howard in the kitchen two floors down smiling smugly with his juice and Steve can’t help but shake his head at Howard’s abundance of maturity.

Of course once he gets close enough Howard dumps the juice he poured for Steve over his head, leaving Steve looking like a grape juice covered drown rat. “Thanks for that,” he mumbles, wiping the juice away.

“Pay back’s a bitch,” he says with a grin.

“You two are children,” a third voice says and they turn to find Rhodey sitting in the doorway giving them an odd look.

“He started it,” Howard says, pointing at Steve.

“Is that supposed to make me think you’re mature? I gotta go tell Tony about this, I’m out,” Rhodey says, wheeling himself towards the nearest elevator. He and Howard exchange a look and burst out laughing.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some real plot! Yay. This is almost done, I think. Just a couple of chapters wrapping some things up but it will still have a sort of ambiguous ending. Ish. 
> 
> Regardless, I hope you enjoy.

“That is the weirdest shit,” Scott says as Rhodey waves his hand in front of Tony’s face. He doesn’t do anything, lost in Extremis and probably annoying the hell out of Sam.

“Think we could draw a mustache on his face?” Rhodey asks, looking around for that marker he saw on Tony’s desk earlier. It was a bit of a pain in the ass to reach the back of the desk given that it was higher than normal but he could manage. Why Tony’s short ass had a desk higher than average height he had no clue but that wasn’t his problem he guessed.

“Uh, no, you will not be drawing a mustache on my face,” Tony tells him and Scott scatters. Traitor.

“That was Scott’s idea,” Rhodey lies, “that’s why he ran.”

“Was not, I heard you. And you’re the one with the marker,” Tony points out, gesturing to the marker he had snatched just before Tony woke from the dead to scare the hell out of him and Scott.

“Yeah, but I can’t reach your face so Scott would have had to draw the mustache on. You’re short but you aren’t _that_ short. I was just closer to the marker so I grabbed it,” Rhodey says. He thinks he does a fine job covering his own tracks but Tony’s incredulous look tells him that he does not do as good a job as he thought he did. “I think we should focus on more pressing subjects though, like the googly eyes your dad makes at Steve,” he says, grinning when Tony makes a face like he just ate a particularly sour lemon.

“That is absolutely not a more pressing subject, that is a subject that never needs to be brought up again ever, thank you. But on the plus side I’ve been doing some snooping with Sam and the people I contacted were mostly clean minus Skye but I can’t really fault her for her parent’s problems. Seriously, they were pretty messed up. So we’ve all arranged a secret meeting and honestly this is feeling very Freemasons, I kinda like it,” Tony says, wiggling excitedly.

“The hell is a ‘Freemason’,” Rhodey asks.

“A secret society- have you never heard of them?” Tony asks, frowning.

“I haven’t gone to public school, forgive me for my lack of knowledge of secret societies. They must be a terrible secret society if people know about them though,” he points out. And they had a stupid name.

“Nah, they _were_ a secret society but they all died out in the plague. And they sort of stopped being a secret club sometime before that but they had roots in the occult, which I personally think is awesome. So this plan is very Freemason and I like it. We should make our own secret society, that sounds like fun,” Tony says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I’ve been a secret from society, it sucked. Didn’t do the witchcraft thing though but I have to admit that I can not stomach doing anything with eye of newt,” he says, shuddering. He wasn’t squeamish with people; no one lived through a plague and stayed squeamish to bodily functions, but pretty much anything else set his stomach on edge. Including, and he learned this recently, the smell of pumpkin. Before he sort of half assumed that pumpkins were a myth because he’d never seen one but they were very real and he hated the smell of them. Scott was obsessed with pumpkin pie though and everyone felt bad about laughing at his ant’s death so no one told him how weird it was.

Tony snorts, “don’t be ridiculous, we wouldn’t be doing witchy things. Where the hell would we even get eye of newt?” Tony asks, as of _that_ was the section of Rhodey’s comment he should have focused on. Rhodey gives him a _look_ and Tony shrugs, completely unrepentant. That was Rhodey’s favorite and least favorite trait about Tony, his being an unrepentant ass.

“Fine, no eye of newt. Think we could get hair of cat?” Tony asks, grinning.

“You’re hopeless. So what’s the plan?” he asks.

“No idea. We’ve got a lot of government officials to arrest and nowhere to put them, plus we have a lot of dying people and also no where to put them. So basically we’re fucked but don’t worry we’ll figure it out. Eventually,” Tony says, not looking so sure about that. He was resourceful though, Rhodey had faith that he’d figure out something. He’s supposed to be a god but Rhodey kind of has a hard time seeing it now. He once watch Tony trip on a curb, neatly eat shit, and then stumble around for a solid ten seconds trying to regain his balance. You’d think a god would have decent balance at least so he figures that maybe Tony was right about that not being a god thing.

That, and he can see how isolating it is for Tony to have that kind of pressure on him, having to answer everyone’s questions, know the answers to everyone’s problems, fix all the ills in the world. Rhodey’s pretty sure that even if Tony was a god that would be too much pressure. One person can’t fix everything, that’s impossible, even for Tony.

*

“Are we seriously meeting in an underground bunker? How dramatic can you get?” Howard asks Tony.

Tony rolls his eyes because Howard was the king of dramatics and here he was criticizing Tony for it. Steve, though, chooses to call the man on it and they start bickering like it was foreplay to them or something. That was a disgusting thought and Tony banishes it from his mind, prepared to scrub it with bleach later. With Extremis he might actually be able to do that and live, not that Bucky would ever allow that. Or Rhodey for that matter. Clint would probably yell at him to not do that, but that was mostly because he had zero volume control anymore and Phil was having a hell of a time getting him to learn sign language. Phil has taken to only communicating with Clint in sign language to force him to learn and it was working. Everyone else was trying to learn too but none of them were doing well minus Phil, who learned things freakishly fast. If it was mechanical Tony would have learned it fast too but sadly sign language was not engineering.

“I am _not_ that dramatic,” Howard says dramatically.

“You’re being dramatic right now,” Steve says.

“How?” Howard asks, throwing his hands up.

“Well first of all you’re flailing your arms around like life has failed you,” Steve tells him, “and you always sound so melodramatic about _everything_. I drank the last of the juice and you would have thought I slapped your grandmother with the fit you pitched. I can’t believe you called _Tony_ dramatic for finding a secure location to try and figure out how to clean up _your_ mess. There are no cameras and the walls are soundproof, plus this is a difficult location to attack. This is a perfectly reasonable, rational decision on his part,” Steve says petulantly.

“I choose it cuz it looked cool,” Tony says just to throw a monkey wrench in Steve’s arguments. He actually had chosen the bunker strategically _and_ because it looked cool but Steve didn’t need to know that.

“I’m never defending you again,” Steve tells him.

“Oh so _you_ can be dramatic but god forbid _I_ be upset about my juice-” Howard goes on but Tony tunes him out in favor of paying attention to Bucky laughing. He’s been acting a little weird lately and it was nice to hear him laugh.

“They need to be separated,” Bucky tells him, shaking his head, “they enjoy arguing too much. Yesterday they were arguing over whether or not ducks had souls.”

“Who was arguing that they were soulless demons that are clearly created by Satan himself?” Tony asks hoping to hell it wasn’t Howard.

“Steve,” Bucky tells him.

“Thank god, also he’s right. Ducks are from the underworld and when they’re born they ascend straight from Hell itself,” Tony says, wrinkling his nose. He tried to feed them once with his mother when he was young and the animals swarmed him for the food and he hasn’t been fond of them since.

“Wow, that is so dramatic and also not even close to how ducks are born,” Bucky says.

“First off I know how ducks work but they are still a product of the devil,” Tony says and he would stand by that until death.

Rhodey frowns at him, “I thought you didn’t believe in god, or gods,” he tacks on hastily, subtly alluding to his supposedly being one. They all had yet to have that discussion and honestly Tony could do without.

“I don’t, but I do believe in hell because that’s where ducks come from,” he says.

“That is illogical,” someone new says and they all turn to face the voice, including Steve and Howard despite their being fully invested in their bickering. Victor’s eyes scan the suddenly silent room, “is… anyone going to contest that?” he asks after a moment.

“Ducks are also illogical. Sit,” Tony instructs and he introduces Victor to the crowd. If anyone was bound to have some ideas it was Victor, his area seemed to have the least amount of HYDRA agents if any and Tony wanted to know how the hell he managed that. Well, technically Skye’s area had less HYDRA agents but her area was basically dead after her parent’s rampaged through it. That hardly counted.

The next person to show up is Melinda May, who seems to know Phil and the two start chatting immediately. Skye shows up shortly after that and then they get started, or at least Tony hopes this was a start to something. “Great, now that we’re all here how the hell do we get rid of HYDRA and stop killing people outside city walls?” Tony asks, getting to the issue quickly. Too quickly if everyone’s confused blinking was any indication. “What? I figured I should cut to the point.”

“I’m not certain people would be receptive to helping those outside city walls,” Victor says, saving Tony from looking like an ass. He decides that Victor is his favorite.

“Why?” he asks. Best to get the issues out of the way now than run into issues he hadn’t anticipated later.

“Because people are selfish, understandably so,” T’Challa says. “They will not be fond of the possibility of getting sick themselves in order to help other people.”

“Yeah, well guess what, they’re getting sick anyways and I finally found out why. There are several bancs of people like you guys that steal the resources they need and every single recent plague outbreak can be linked to a break in by one of those groups. The virus is operating differently outside the city walls because the population is living under different circumstances. We also have different circumstances so our strains look different and they spread differently. So congrats to whatever fucknut decided this was a good idea. And besides that anyone with any basic knowledge of biology knows the _last_ thing you want to do is isolate a population if you want them to actually evolve. Wait a few generations and people are going to be talking about their family wreaths instead of their family trees,” Tony says.

“So, what you’re saying is that it would be far more beneficial to the population to accept these people if they no longer want to get sick?” Victor says and Tony nods. “Well, at least we can appeal to them using arguments they would agree with, that will make public outrage easier to deal with.”

“Yeah, problem is I have nowhere to put people and I have to basically throw out the government. What the hell am I supposed to do? What the hell is everyone _else_ supposed to do?” Tony asks. This was a near global issue if Phil’s research was right and Tony did enough fact-checking to know that Phil’s research was accurate.

“I have a dead city,” Skye points out, “lots of room and no population to complain. Well, a small population but I’m sure at this point anything I do is better than what my parents did so convincing them this is a good idea should be easy.”

“Not if you don’t have trade routes,” Melinda says, “half the reason the rest of your population is dying off is because there isn’t enough food. I’d be more than happy to reopen our trade agreement provided my area gets a stake in your salt mine,” she says, raising an eyebrow at Skye.

“Yeah, that’d be great. I mean once I have enough healthy people to run it,” she says.

Melinda grins, “excellent. I’ve missed salt.”

“Me too,” Howard says, “we’ve got tech. And doctors, we somehow ended up with a surplus of those so we can send some your way.”

Tony stomps on Howard’s foot and he yelps, “we were giving her those resources anyways, you ass. How the hell is she supposed to deal with an increased sick population with no doctors? Or tech for that matter.”

“Well thanks for taking away our bargaining chip,” Howard mumbles.

“You were going to use people’s lives as a bargaining chip for _salt_ , the fuck is wrong with you?” Tony asks.

“Hey, relax, I’ll still give you the salt, we have a lot of it. That’s still kind of messed up though,” Skye says when Tony turns his glare on her. He tries his best to tame his outrage because Skye didn’t deserve it; it was hardly her fault Howard was an asshole.

“I have a sufficient police force, that should help make the transition easier,” Victor offers.

Bucky snorts, “yeah, that’s gunna go well. If being outside the city walls has taught me anything it’s that any sort of military looking person is not to be trusted. Last time I did that I ended up being turned into a human lab rat.” Everyone in the room winces, having been caught up fully on the situation at hand.

“Would not putting them in military gear help?” Victor asks and the look on Bucky’s face suggests that that’s a stupid question. Poor Victor looks like he’s trying to figure out where he went wrong.

“Alright, do you guys know anyone that people would trust? I mean we’re covering a pretty wide area so that’s probably not a thing but you never know,” Tony says, trailing off awkwardly.

Scott looks around briefly, “Quill?” he asks after a moment and everyone but Clint groans.

“Why’s everyone look like someone just mentioned Quill?” Clint yells, looking at Phil. Phil responds in sign and Clint must be picking the language up because he groans, “of come on! Anyone but him!”

“What’s wrong with this Quill guy?” Tony asks. Skye, Victor, Melinda, and Howard all look interested in the answer too.

“He’s just like you but worse,” Sam tells him.

“Hey, Tony isn’t like Quill at all,” Rhodey says, jumping to his defense almost before Howard has his mouth open. Tony gives him an odd look because he didn’t think _Howard_ would have jumped to his defense.

“I don’t think Quill’s that bad,” Bucky says.

“You’re also bonded to Tony so you’re taste is clearly questionable,” Sam says. Rhodey, Bucky, and Howard look hilariously offended at this statement and Tony snickers, happy to have his own defense squad.

“I find your taste questionable if you _don’t_ like Tony,” Bucky says in his own defense.

“Bucky bee, I am an acquired taste, leave the poor man be,” Tony says, gently laying a hand on Bucky’s arm.

“Yeah, if he doesn’t like you he doesn’t have taste,” Bucky mumbles and Tony laughs.

“Totally knew you two were bonded. Congrats,” Skye says, smiling pleasantly at them.

“Thanks, it was a long and sweaty process. I miss suppressants,” he laments. Things were easier with them. Well, _heats_ had been easier, everything else basically sucked. That last bit gets Melinda’s attention but Victor speaks before she can.

“Alright, so we talk to this ‘Quill’ and see if he might be willing to help. But with the experiments, you mentioned… side effects, drastic ones. What did you mean?” Victor asks.

“I meant shit like this,” Tony says and he extends his hand, willing his palm to burst into flame. Howard yelps and throws himself sideways, almost into Steve’s lap. Steve shoves him back into his own seat with an irritated glance.

“You didn’t tell me you could do that! What the _fuck_ ,” Howard says, still leaning away from Tony into Steve’s space.

“That’s awesome, I make earth quakes,” Skye says and everyone turns to stare.

“First off when the hell was Stark stuck into these experiments and second, when the hell were _you_ stuck into these experiments?” Melinda asks.

“I got sick and my parents started running all these crazy experiments, testing things on themselves. It drove them insane; it cured me and gave me earthquake powers. Panic attacks when you make things crumble is not fun,” she says, sitting back in her seat and sighing.

“I feel that. Panic attacks when you accidentally put half the city out of lights also is not fun. And it isn’t less destructive either, I keep creating power surges. I fixed it now but that’s mostly because I didn’t really want to tell people why their lights keep flickering or going out.” Discreetly fixing the wiring was a pain in the ass but he got it done and there was minimal questions asked, thank god.

“I thought you had fire powers? And when did you end up being experimented on?” Victor asks, sparing a suspicious glance at Howard. Given Skye’s story that made sense but Howard hadn’t actually had anything to do with this and he tells Victor so, giving them a brief run-down of how he came across the issues he was now trying to fix.

“So schooling and literacy is also an issue?” Melinda asks.

“You know what, just assume that these people have had basically nothing for their entire lives. For the most part it’s true,” Tony says. Victor, Melinda, and Skye sigh collectively and start asking a new round of questions. They were making progress though, finally, and that was all that mattered to Tony. Occasionally Steve or someone else would throw in a comment or a suggestion and that inspired new questions, but it also helped solve problems that even Tony didn’t know about. They all agreed that asking the population what they needed once they weren’t all dying off would be necessary in order to properly address all issues, or try anyways.

*

Howard stands outside Tony’s room and he hopes that he isn’t with Bucky or that his AI hasn’t given him away. _Your apology should be because you’re actually sorry, not because you want forgiveness_. Steve was right and he owed Tony so much more than a simple apology but for now that was all he had. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door, hoping that he wasn’t going to have an awkward conversation with Bucky. He had better things to do than figure out a way of explaining that he wanted to talk to his son alone without looking like an ass. Tony was content to always make him the villain and given that he was Tony’s villain for the majority of his life he supposes that he only had himself to blame for that.

Thankfully when Tony opens the door he’s alone and tired looking. “Can… can we talk?” he asks hesitantly. Tony looks suspicious right away and Howard quells the feeling of hurt he gets from that. The feeling is warranted, he reminds himself, he would have felt much the same way if his own parents had ever been interested in forgiveness.

“Fine,” Tony says in a clipped tone but he opens the door wider, revealing a thankfully Bucky-free room. Howard enters with a quiet thanks and gingerly sits on the edge of his bed, unsure for a moment.

“I… I’m sorry, Tony, for everything. I was a terrible father to you, and a terrible husband to Maria. I’ve been selfish and cruel and I’m sorry that you were a victim of that,” he says finally. Best to cut to the point, he figured, and Tony would appreciate it anyways. Neither one of them like pussyfooting around things, Maria hadn’t either so Tony had come by it honestly.

“Why?” Tony says after a few moments, still looking suspicious. He was still standing a few feet away from Howard with his arms crossed, tense.

He gets the feeling this is some sort of test but he has no clue what Tony is looking for. “Why? Because if I raise my voice you flinch, if I raise my hand for any reason you flinch, if I move too fast you flinch. Because I’ve spent your whole life only ever seeing what I wanted to see instead of what was there and I made sure you knew it. I never appreciated you for all the great things you are until you weren’t here anymore and that’s a god damn shame. I’ve spent my entire life looking forward but with you I spent all my time either looking back or not looking at all. I know I’ve been an inventor my whole life but Tony, you should know, what is and will always be my greatest creation is you. And I’m sorry it took me so long to see that,” he says honestly. Tony doesn’t say anything but Howard doesn’t expect him to.

Instead of sticking around he gets up so he can leave Tony to think but Tony calls him back just before he hits the door. “Do you really believe that?” he asks and Howard feels like he’s been punched in the gut, seeing all that suspicion in Tony’s features.

“Oh course I do, Tony. You’re going to change the damn _world_ and that’s not an easy thing to do,” he says. But Tony was so stubborn, so full of fire and life. Of course he would change the world, Tony simply wouldn’t do well participating in some sub-par bullshit that numbed his brain. It wasn’t in his nature to blend in; it never has been, just like his mother.

For a moment Tony hesitates but then he crosses the room and hugs Howard. It takes him a second to respond, surprised by the sudden move, but he hugs Tony back, clinging tightly to a child he should have never let go of. Tony sniffles and Howard hugs him tighter for all the times he pushed Tony away when he cried, more concerned with his own feelings because he was a selfish bastard. “Do you think mom would be proud of me?” he asks after a moment, his voice sounding hoarse and raw.

“Oh course she would have been proud,” Howard says without any hesitation, “there was never a time when she wasn’t proud of you, Tony. She loved you more than anything in the world.” More than him, the night she left and died she told him that she was leaving, she was done with leaving Tony in such a bad environment and ultimately her decision to leave is what killed her. Howard spent a long time hating Tony for it too, blaming his child for problems he never had anything to do with and that was down right cruel.

“I love you,” Tony says softly.

“I love you too, Tony, more than anything,” he says back. He holds Tony there for a long time and he knows that it isn’t going to make up for lost time, for all the ways he hurt Tony, but it was a start.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I totally forgot to mention in last chapter's notes (which has now been rectified) that Victor= Victor Shade= Vision, he wasn't just some character I tossed in out of nowhere! But I forgot to mention that so if anyone was like wtf? I hope ya get where he came from now. 
> 
> There's a mention of child abuse in this but I think that's all for warnings. If not, as always, let me know :)
> 
> I have also realized that this is the second last chapter for this! One more and I'm done! It'll be more like an epilogue though. But either way thanks to those who have been on this crazy ride with me and the next chapter should be up soon!

“So… you’re suggesting we black bag people?” Tony asks, squinting at Howard and wondering if he just heard his suggestion right.

“What? We don’t want mass public panic, it’d be easier to arrest people quietly,” Hoard says, completely unrepentant.

“Oh my god, you really did suggest black bagging people uninronically,” Tony says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Is that really the most unethical thing this government will have ever done?” Steve asks, eyebrow raised.

“See, Steve agrees with me,” Howard says petulantly. Rhodey gives Tony that look that he’s been growing so fond of lately, the one that told him Rhodey was fully convinced that Howard was a literal child. Tony agreed but that was an issue for a different day.

“The guy you’re currently fucking agreeing with you doesn’t count, Howard,” Tony says tiredly. “Does anyone have a better solution?” he asks. When no one speaks he throws his hands up, “seriously? No one has a better solution than black bagging people?”

“Uh, its not a better suggestion but where the hell did you get the idea that me and Steve are in any way involved let alone sexually?” Howard asks, giving Tony a dubious look.

“Gee, I don’t know, you’re attached at the hip,” he says.

“You two spend all your time flirting,” Scott says.

“You two have weird inside jokes that make no damn sense to anyone else,” Rhodey points out.

“You swap parenting tips, which makes no sense considering neither one of you are good parents,” T’Challa says.

“Ouch,” Howard mumbles, hand pressed to his heart. T’Challa shrugs, clearly not caring that he hurt Howard’s feelings. Neither did Tony, it was funny and true.

“You make Steve smile and I haven’t seen him smile like that since I remembered my name. kinda wish it wasn’t Bucky though, that’s a stupid name,” he mumbles.

“I like Bucky,” Tony says, placing a hand on Bucky’s thigh.

“You might have suffered one too many hits to the head as a child,” Bucky tells him.

“I’ve actually dated Steve and I can confirm the behavior matches up,” Sam says, ignoring Tony and Bucky.

“Uh, no? Steve and I are not… we aren’t anything. I don’t even think we count as friends,” Howard says.

“That’s nice,” Steve says, crossing his arms in irritation.

“What? We argue more than we don’t,” Howard points out.

“Uh, yeah, but that’s clearly your weird version of foreplay,” Rhodey says.

“It is not!” Howard says in an outraged tone. Steve looks so offended that Tony has to laugh. And he thought he was clueless, at least he was perceptive enough to know when he was headed into a relationship with someone.

“What?” Howard says, looking around somewhat helplessly, “we’re not in a relationship.”

“I think maybe you two should talk some stuff out,” Tony says, “but we have bigger fish to fry. Seriously, does _no one_ have a better solution than practicing some sketchy arrest patterns?” he asks.

*

Howard didn’t want mass panic but apparently he didn’t take into account that one of the people he was looking to arrest had access to their systems, which Tony could have accounted for if he knew anything about Obadiah being implicated. “I’m sorry Tony,” Rhodey says, gently laying a hand on his arm.

Tony rubs his temples, “you know what, it’s fine, actually it isn’t fine at all but I can deal with it. What I can’t deal with is a screaming mass of people who doesn’t know the whole story,” he says. Obadiah was smart; Tony would give him that, because he made Tony’s findings about the link between the new plague strains and the people outside the city known. And for good measure he followed that up with the plans to let the people in, effectively throwing the public into a mass panic on Tony’s doorstep, literally. It was a mass distraction tactic meant to throw everyone off and it was working, but not well enough, Howard managed to get to him before he made his escape and now Obi was on his way to prison. Turns out Howard was harboring some pent up rage about being betrayed by his closest friend and Obi’s face ended up being the target.

He wasn’t going to complain though, Obadiah was going where he belonged and Tony, well, he wasn’t terribly surprised that someone else close to him ended up screwing him over. It was kind of a popular pattern until pretty recently. Not that he had many people that were close to him, but still, two out of three was a crappy stat. At least, so far, none of his new friends seemed inclined to either abuse him or screw him over, not to mention everyone involved in the experiments. Which technically involved him, he guessed, given that Extremis was tested on him and poor Sam. As if Sam didn’t have enough crap to deal with before all that.

“I know you’ll get through this, you’re a pretty resilient guy, I mean you went from living here to living in squalor with no complaints. I’d complain, your beds are like sleeping on the wings of angels, seriously man, are they filled with angel feathers? I would not be surprised. Anyway, being able to get through something doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. From what I understand Obadiah was something of a father figure to you, you already have daddy issues out the ass, this can’t possibly help,” Rhodey says. “What’s with the look? You _do_ have some serious daddy issues, and while we’re at it so does Howard, this is a family of daddy issues, please do not have children.”

For a moment Tony doesn’t know if he should be offended or if he should laugh but he settles on laughing because Rhodey looks so _serious_. “I hate kids, I don’t plan on having any. I mean seriously, I have to care for it for like _eighteen_ years before it can do stuff on its own? That is not a good investment. As for Obi, he was always closer to Howard than me; it always put me off a little even if he was always nice to me. I’m not all that surprised that he turned out to be the literal devil, disappointed, but not surprised.” When he was younger he used to hate anyone who had any respect for Howard flat out but as he got older he realized that not a lot of people knew about Howard’s habits behind closed doors so it was a little unfair to hate them. Then he found different reasons to dislike them, like their constant efforts to push him into the role of the Good God. He has always been bad at the people thing, he was doomed and he would be more than happy to let someone else take over, thank you.

“Thank god, you people have more problems than a math test. You and Bucky would make some beautiful kids if you were capable of reproducing though, and they’d be smart,” Rhodey says, grinning.

“I know, I have some good genetics,” Tony says proudly and Rhodey snorts.

“Oh no, no, it’s Bucky’s luscious hair that would do it,” Rhodey says.

“Uh, excuse you, I also have luscious hair, and my eyelashes are amazing, okay? Bucky’s cute, but I am godly,” he says with full confidence in his attractiveness. He was adorable, thank Rhodey very much, and his nonexistent spawn should be theoretically grateful for the pretty face they would have inherited from their father.

“Did you just say that unironically? Oh no, no, you don’t get to go on long rants about how you’re not a god and then use ‘godly’ to describe yourself. You are minorly attractive,” Rhodey says.

Tony gasps, offended. “Firstly, you don’t need to be a god to look like one. Look at T’Challa. Okay so in hindsight that was a bad comparison, wipe the ‘are you serious’ look off your face. Steve isn’t technically considered a god and he has got the best shoulder-to-waist ratio I have ever seen. Kinda wanna lick him but I think that would offend Bucky,” Tony says. And he would never, _ever_ admit that to Bucky and especially not Steve. So the guy had a hot bod, he also had a personality so bad not even a mother could love it. Which explained why Howard was so attracted to the guy, they had that in common. At least Bucky was cute _and_ had a good personality.

“You _think_ licking Steve would offend Bucky? You’d definitely be offended if he licked Howard,” Rhodey says. He’s got that ‘seriously’ face back on and Tony needed to introduce him to Pepper, they would get along famously.

“I feel like Bucky has better taste, figuratively and literally in this case. Besides, why lick Howard when you can lick me? I’m way more… lickable. Honestly I feel like there would be too much drool in that but still, you get the point.” There was no way someone would choose _Howard_ over him, except maybe Steve but he probably picked his personality out of the dollar discount bin with Howard so. Actually he wasn’t _that_ bad, but he was still a bit of a prick and not even the lovable kind like himself.

“Bucky has terrible taste if he’s bonded to you,” Rhodey tells him.

“Oh, says my best friend. You have bad taste too then, honey,” Tony says in a chipper tone.

“I never claimed to have good taste but if you must know my taste is just fine, just not in best friends,” Rhodey says, nose in the air.

“Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that sweetie. If you ever bring someone home then we can judge accurately, but until then we’re just going to have to assume all your friendships indicate that you have bad taste,” Tony chirps.

“Actually I briefly dated Scott, yes, the Scott you’re thinking of,” Rhodey says, hanging his head in shame because he knew exactly how this looked.

“You dated a guy with a _battle ant_ and _I’m_ the person you decided gave you bad taste? I am so offended right now. _Scott Lang_ and _I’m_ the one who indicates your bad taste. I’m telling Bucky this and he will be offended for me as well,” he says.

“The guy your fucking being offended on your behalf doesn’t count, Tony,” Rhodey says, mirroring his earlier statement to Howard. Tony is even more offended than before.

*

Tony stands in front of an irate crowd and for once he’s kind of glad that he was considered a god, otherwise these people just might have torn him apart. Literally. Instead the crowd seems to calm a little when they see him, clearly hoping for some sort of explanation for the information Obi published for distraction purposes. Arrests were moving double time now, before everyone managed to scatter. But the public had to find out eventually and now was as good as time as any, he guessed. “Everything you read is true,” he says and people lunge _en mass_ at him.

Why he thought holding up his hand was a useful thing to do he had no clue but it works, at least, because people back the hell off almost immediately. Granted he was at least somewhat protected by the security measures he had made for this particular incident but experimental technology was… experimental. He had no clue if the force fields would hold up. “Jesus people, you don’t have all the information! Does it not strike anyone that it’s a little odd that the information you _did_ get was so full of holes? Come on, you guys aren’t idiots, I know at least one of you read that and wondered why the hell it looked like half the story was missing.”

So he tells them, if a little methodically, what the situation was and why he was doing what he was doing without also telling them about his own time as Lab Rat. It hadn’t been his intention at first, he saw no reason to hold back, but T’Challa had told him that people had faith in him, saw him as infallible. In theory if people knew he wasn’t infallible they would panic and things would get worse. Tony had thought maybe it would make him more relatable, that he was vulnerable like they were, but Bucky had chimed in with that being the problem. People didn’t want to know that their current leader, god, whatever, had vulnerabilities like they did because they have put faith in something they saw as unshakable. With all the strife they wouldn’t want that shaken too.

He supposed he got that, he’s seen proof of it back in the hospital. People praying to him like he had any power at all because he was the only thing that hadn’t been torn down, the only thing they had left to pray to. It just sucked knowing that you didn’t have the power they wanted you to have. He wished he could just snap his fingers and make all this go away but he couldn’t. But he could do his best with what he had and that was what he intended to do here, to do right by these people in the ways he knew how.

The last thing he expects, though, is for people to still not care. When he gets to the end of his speech, his explanation of what was going on and why those city walls needed to come down he doesn’t expect someone to yell, “so what!” at him.

For a second he’s too stunned to do anything because he had no idea people could be so profoundly selfish. “I… people are dying!” he says finally, thinking that that had been obvious from the previous explanation but apparently not.

“So are we!” someone else yells.

“Not like they are, we’re only getting sick because these people have _nothing_ and they have to take what they need. And then their versions of the plague get transported here and we suffer the consequences of turning our backs on people,” he says. He couldn’t believe he had to _explain_ that to people.

“Well then maybe they should stop stealing shit!” someone new yells.

“Oh I’m sorry, I just told you all some horrifying details of illegal human experimentation and you’re complaining about _stealing_? Do I really have to explain which one of those things is more morally dubious?” he asks in a tone that was probably too snide to be relatable. At this point he didn’t really care because he was disgusted.

“Survival of the fittest!” is what some other idiot yells and this is greeted with cheers of all things. Tony rubs his temples to stop himself from doing or saying something stupid.

“You want survival of the fittest you’re going to have to look everywhere _but_ in this city,” Tony says, “survival of the fittest doesn’t happen in a nice city with an abundance of food, water, and medical professionals. Survival of the fittest happens where you have _nothing_ , where you’re environment is trying to kill you more often than it isn’t and that environment sure as hell isn’t inside the city walls. This isn’t survival of the fittest; it’s survival of the privileged, of the lucky. Luck happened to be on your side and circumstances went well for you, or at least they were better than the alternative. These people aren’t going to stop trying to survive and they shouldn’t, we either acknowledge that they exist and help them or we reap what we sow when we get sick because we chose to ignore them,” he says harshly.

“We just don’t want to get sick!” someone new yells.

“Look, I get that I do, but do you think any of those people want to get sick? Are you really arrogant enough to think they aren’t just like you that way? Or do you agree with the stealing guy that they’re somehow more deserving of their circumstances because those circumstances aren’t yours? They want to live and be healthy and have families and friends just like all of you do and I shouldn’t have to make them like you for you to feel empathy towards them. They’re living, breathing people and therefore they’re worth something and it’s time that we acknowledge that. Besides, we’re stuck in a gene pool bowl, wait a few generations and we’ll all be marrying our cousins, we kind of need a new population. And if we have that one we can do testing, legal testing, to figure out the how their plague operates so we _won’t_ get sick. This is not a hopeless endeavor,” he says, pleads really.

Something he says must click because people start asking questions, real questions, and he answers them to the best of his ability. Things take a turn for the better when someone asks how they can help, if at all possible, and people seem to jump on it when Tony reacts well. The moment is bittersweet for Tony because he has support for these people, but that support hinged on his support. He doesn’t want to think about what would have happened if he either remained blind to the conditions outside the city, or worse, endorsed them. Later Bucky tells Tony not to worry, that he would never do that, but that isn’t true. The people of the city weren’t the only ones whose circumstances happened to line up just right and if Tony’s circumstances weren’t what they are none of this would be happening right now. It isn’t a pleasant thought.

*

Steve watches Howard hover around, clearly freaked out but he refuses to say anything because he’s stubborn. He shakes his head and continues with his preparations, someone had to go find Quill to spread the word and he wished it were anyone but him. But spreading the word was the only way these plans were going to go through and Quill had a lot of connections, people trusted him for some unknown reason, and owed Steve a favor. It was the least he could do after all Tony had done for him. He had asked Bucky if he wanted to come along but he opted to stay back with Tony, looking a little freaked out at the thought of leaving him alone for so long. Steve was happy for Bucky, he deserved happiness and he might not get along with Tony all the time but he loved Bucky. That was all he could ask for.

“Steve,” Howard finally says as he grabs his back to go. Steve smiles and turns around to find a frazzled looking Howard standing there looking dejected and unsure and so unlike his usual self.

“Yeah?” he asks, hoping that maybe Howard had pulled his head out of his ass and realized they sort of had a thing going here.

“I, um, please don’t die,” he says in place of something suave or a joke.

He can’t help but laugh at Howard’s inability to communicate, “I’m impervious to most things, I doubt I’ll die. Bonuses of illegal human experiments, I guess,” he says softly, injecting a joke at the end of that statement to thaw Howard out some.

“I know that but impervious doesn’t mean immortal so just… don’t die,” he says softly.

“Duly noted,” Steve jokes, smiling at Howard before turning back to the vehicle he planned to take out.

“Wait,” Howard says and Steve turns back around. Howard scuttles around, looking kind of ridiculous in his uncertainty but Steve lets him do what he needed to. “Spit it out, Stark,” he says when Howard doesn’t stop scuttling around like an idiot.

“Maria,” he blurts and Steve raises an eyebrow, unsure how Howard’s dead wife factored in, exactly. He could take a guess but he waits for Howard to confirm. “God, you’re a sadist,” he mumbles when Steve waits for his elaboration instead of just making assumptions. He’s made assumptions about people’s feelings before though, he made a lot of assumptions about Bucky’s, and it hadn’t gone very well. He learned his lesson and now he was trying to apply his learning to new relationships and communicating like he should have been all along. “You know, she used to tell me if she died and I moved on she’d haunt whomever I moved on to for life,” Howard says with a weary smile.

“Sounds like something Tony would say to Bucky,” Steve says, “but I’m not being haunted,” at least not by Maria.

Howard lets out a sharp laugh, “she probably doesn’t think you’re a threat then,” he says.

“Smart woman. I’m not, you know, a threat I mean. Caring about me doesn’t mean you stop caring about her, or stop remembering her. The thing about caring about people is that you can care about a whole bunch at once and you don’t love any of them less than the last. Maybe Maria isn’t haunting me because she learned that in the afterlife,” he jokes and Howard laughs nervously.

“Doubt it, she was the jealous type, god knows why. She deserved better than what I gave her,” Howard says, looking down at the floor.

“Yeah, she did, but being stuck on her death, on your grief for her, that hasn’t done anyone any good. Especially not Tony. So maybe it’s time to let go a little, to live a life in the future without forgetting the past.” God knows it took him forever to learn that lesson, and to learn not to cling so hard to what he had that he didn’t give poor Bucky a chance to flourish. It wasn’t something that was easy to do, especially when you cared so much about the people you loved. But it was a necessary lesson to learn all the same.

Howard nods, taking this in some before he shuffles forward some. “God, I hope Maria don’t haunt me for this,” he mumbles, shuffling a little closer.

“If she was going to haunt for something I’m pretty sure it’d b abusing her kid, to be honest,” Steve says, perhaps a bit too bluntly. Howard takes it well though, thankfully.

“That’s actually a little relieving in the most horrifying of ways,” Howard says. He takes a deep breath and steps forward, an actual step forward, and places a hand on Steve’s chest. Steve waits for Howard to calm some before he reaches up gently touching his face. Howard leans into it, his eyes closing as he relaxes a little, obviously unused to the touch. It makes Steve sad to know that but truth be told he wasn’t used to it either, it had been a long time since Sam and an even longer time since his brief relationship with Peggy. He never did find out what came of her.

He pushes thoughts of them aside to focus on Howard. The kiss is a little awkward, they both move at once and their heads collide, showing that they’re both out of practice, but they make it work. It’s short and chaste and full of hope for more but more was going to have to come later, after Steve tracks Quill’s ass down and manhandles him into doing Steve’s bidding. “That was terrible,” Howard says and Steve makes an offended noise.

“See if I ever kiss you again,” he teases and he goes to pull away but Howard drags him back, pulling him into another considerably more terrible kiss. Teeth clashing was not very fun even with the serum to heal him quickly.

“I think I have a fat lip,” Howard says, hand in front of his mouth.

“Me too,” Steve says, feeling his bottom lip experimentally. It stung to he guessed that he did, indeed, have a fat lip.

“First off you’ll heal in like five minutes, second, it is not fair that you look attractive even with a fat lip. Leave some prettiness for the rest of us, damnit,” he mumbles.

Steve shakes his head, “I’ll do my best. But I have to go, no do not try and kiss me again two out of two have gone terribly. I think we need some time apart,” he says.

Howard makes an offended noise, “see if I ever kiss you again,” he teases.

“At this point we might be better off without kissing,” he says back, drawing another offended noise out of Howard.

“Maria!” Howard says, squinting, “clearly she’s responsible for this.”

“Or you’re just out of practice,” Steve says, “but you know what, if I’m damned to a lifetime of crappy kisses than the cuddling better be good.”

Howard makes a face, “of course you’re a cuddler,” he mumbles.

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Steve chirps.

“The only thing I’d beg to choose is that ass, seriously. I didn’t even know they came that attractive until I walked in on you working out that one time. God _damn_.” Howard tilts his head to the side as if he could see Steve’s ass from this angle and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Goodbye, Howard, I’ll be back soon,” he says, walking away with a purposeful swish of his hips. He feels Howard’s eyes on him as he goes.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, y'all! Just tying up a little bit more lose ends and such, though the ending is still pretty open about what's to come in the future. 
> 
> Not quite as open/ ambiguous as I thought it might be but that's fine! I just like to tie things up a lil neater usually, so this is kind of more open than I'm used to. But hey, I guess I left myself sequel room if I ever wanted to go that route.

Tony and no idea why everyone seemed to have a problem with Quill, he was _awesome_ and totally his new best friend, screw Rhodey. Actually that wasn’t true, he loved Rhodey even if sometimes he got that _look_ , the one Rhodey gave him when he was about to do something dumb. But Rhodey always helped a guy out anyways, even if he gave Tony the judgmental stink eye the whole time. Peter, though, he agreed with Tony’s insane plans right away and for that reason he has been banned from spending any time with him unless there was someone else there. In their defense they didn’t mean to almost light the Tower on fire and Natasha put it out, glaring at them the whole time.

He thought they did pretty good but apparently not. Regardless, Peter knew a lot of people and his ability to spread the word was impressive. The only downside to his presence was Howard’s moping around while Steve was gone. The whole thing was made worse by Howard trying to pretend he wasn’t moping and failing miserably.

“So, everything ready?” Quill asks.

“Yeah, probably. I mean we’re about as prepared as we’re going to be anyways, we’ll deal with problems as they come,” he says.

“Awesome, I can’t wait to see what shitstorm this pulls up,” Peter says, rubbing his hands together enthusiastically.

“You’re an asshole,” Tony tells him.

“So are you,” Peter points out and fine, maybe he couldn’t deny that.

*

His plans were going well all things considered. So far only one person tried to kill him and Bucky dealt with that relatively easily. Tony didn’t really blame the guy, half the people here either thought he was a god that answered their prayers or a failed god that ignored their prayers for years. He could see why the guy would be a little murderous given the circumstances.

Dealing with the sick proved to be something of a challenge, especially considering family reunification, but he managed to work out a tentative system. JARVIS was overseeing everything on that front; he was less likely to screw up than a person would be, and Tony trusted him. Confronting the better part of the current government with their crimes against humanity was not fun and he how had an overflowing prison, well, Skye did. Regardless he was slowly filtering through the largest of his problems one at a time. The government was being combed thoroughly by JARVIS, the sick had been brought in early for medical purposes, plus it made sense to settle them before everyone else. Priorities and all. Everyone else came last and thankfully after the initial outburst the people in the city were less adverse to the idea of letting people in.

It didn’t really matter what the opposing group had to say, Tony wasn’t about to abandon a whole group of people to die because it made a far smaller percentage of the population feel better. “Stark!” someone, Peter, calls and Bucky jerks him back, on edge since Murder Attempt One.

“Jeeze, you’re jumpy,” Tony says, extracting himself from Bucky’s grasp, “what do you want, Quill?” he asks.

“This is Gamora,” he says, gesturing to an honest to god green woman.

“You’re… green,” he says for lack of something more thoughtful.

“You have functioning eyes, congratulations,” she says in a scathing tone.

“Yeah, not the most interesting thing about her, trust me. We met after she kicked the living hell out of me to get a squash. Anyways if you ever need a spy or anything she’s good at it, plus it’ll look good if someone besides your creepy AI looks through the government,” he says.

“Plus it might not know what to look for,” Gamora throws in.

“First, JARVIS is not creepy, why does everyone think he’s creepy? And two, I’ll think about it. I left it to JARVIS to avoid human error and bias but I see what you’re saying either way,” Tony says. He probably wouldn’t trust systems he made if he were the people coming in either.

“Tony, your AI is a better conversationalist than most people, it’s creepy. I know you love your AI but he’s weird, and the fact that he has a gender is weirder,” Bucky tells him, patting his shoulder in a poor attempt to comfort him.

“He’s named after my old butler, it was natural to just give him the same gender. And JARVIS is only being polite trying to have conversations with people,” he says. What did an AI have to do to get a little love around here?

“That is highly disturbing,” Gamora says, giving Tony an odd look.

“I know right!” Bucky says, looking excited that someone finally related to how he felt about poor JARVIS. Bucky could sleep in his own room tonight.

*

“Aw, what a cute picture of us,” Steve says, showing Howard the picture he just took of the two of them. Tony watches on in a sort of morbid fascination with what was going to happen now, hoping it didn’t involve any kissing. That was just _wrong_ but the hilariously bad luck Howard suffered afterwards was almost worth the mental scarring Tony has received from his father’s renewed love life. It was even better because Howard was _convinced_ that Tonys mother was haunting him. Tony hoped it was true because he was totally down with his mother getting revenge from beyond the grave.

“That is not cute, I look like a fish,” Howard says, looking largely displeased.

“You look like this all the time,” Steve says, frowning at the picture like he was trying to determine what was wrong with it. Howard looks _so offended_ that Tony almost spits out the coffee he was currently using to keep himself awake. When Steve finally notices he laughs too, “oh my god, I _have_ to get a picture of that face,” he says, holding up the phone to take a picture. Howard smacks the phone out of his hand and Steve starts laughing harder.

“Am I the only one who really wants to see that picture now?” Bucky asks.

“Nope, J, send me that picture,” he tells the AI. His phone vibrates a second later and he checks the picture, “oh my god, he does look like a fish,” Tony says, showing Bucky.

“Oh wow, he does. Also you have access to our _pictures_?” he asks, looking mildly horrified with that.

“JARVIS does, yeah, but it isn’t like he’s itching to go through your phones. He has better things to do with his time,” Tony says in defense of his poor AI. People were needlessly afraid of the system and that really did need to be changed.

“Give me that phone, I wanna see fish Howard,” Rhodey says, interrupting the squabbling. Tony slides his phone over and Rhodey laughs when he gets a good look at it, “he does look like fish. I can’t believe Steve thinks Howard looks like a fish. That’s hilarious.”

“Hey dad, you totally look like a fish in that picture,” Tony yells across the room and Howard looks like he’s been offended all over again.

“Thanks for that,” Steve yells back when Howard takes a step away, looking annoyed. Tony watches them squabble for a bit, Steve trying unsuccessfully to convince Howard the picture wasn’t bad. Just to be an ass Tony throws out that Bucky and Rhodey agreed that Howard looked like a fish and Steve gives him the _dirtiest_ look. He grins and turns back to Bucky and Rhodey, “so how was your day?” he asks Rhodey. As much as he had wanted to help most of the jobs that needed filling weren’t exactly the kind someone in a wheelchair could do easily and Rhodey was still getting used to his alternative mobility. Instead he helped Phil with some of the organizing.

“Terrible, thanks for asking. I am never, _ever_ working with Phil Coulson on anything organizational ever again. The man is a menace; he had like twelve different highlighters. Who even _needs_ that many highlighters? And they all meant different things and tomorrow I’m just gunna sleep in,” Rhodey says, throwing his hands up. “How’d it go on your end?”

“Not bad. Only one murder attempt so that was kind of nice, everyone else seemed either relieved of suspicious. Hopefully things keep going as smoothly as they are now and everyone should be relocated tomorrow, then we can work on finding families and whatever,” he says, waving a hand around.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Rhodey asks, concerned.

“Yeah I’m fine, why?” Tony asks.

“Did you not hear the part where you were almost _murdered_? Because I feel like that’s a pretty important detail,” Rhodey says.

“He doesn’t think it’s a big deal,” Bucky says, his arm tightening a bit around Tony, “he’s an idiot.”

“No _shit_ ,” Rhodey says. Tony tunes out as Bucky and Rhodey bond over Tony’s stupidity, tired from the last day’s worth of work. But they were making real headway and people had a weird amount of trust in Quill. Whatever his connections were most people seemed to know who he was and they trusted his opinions. To be fair they should, he was more than a little skeptical about Tony and his first reaction was to punch him. His second reaction was to gush about how pretty he was and Tony much preferred Option Two. Call him vain but he liked being told how pretty he was, it was a confidence booster.

They didn’t have that much more to go as far as getting everyone in. It was getting everyone _settled_ that would be the real work though. Letting people in was all well and good but that only involved decontaminating them and placing them in a temporary space, categorizing everyone and finding their families would be far more difficult.

“Tony,” Bucky says ad he drags his attention away from his thoughts, “you need to sleep.” It isn’t a question and Tony is too tired to fight him on it. He spares Steve and Howard one last glance, finding Howard leaning into Steve in the most begrudging of ways and laughs.

“God I hope I don’t act like that,” he says. Howard fell somewhere between a surprisingly wise adult to a very petulant five year old. Tony liked to think that he was a mostly wise adult even if he knew otherwise.

“You aren’t nearly that much of an ass. I mean you’re an ass but you’re the lovable kind. I can’t believe you’re his spawn,” Bucky says, marveling at this fact.

“Did you just call me _spawn_?” he asks, squinting incredulously.

“What? We’re all spawn expect maybe Phil, I think he might have been made in a lab,” Bucky says.

“He was definitely made in a lab,” Tony agrees.

*

People were settled, mostly, and they were combing for families so they could properly house people. Tony was mingling to make sure that all was going well and to answer questions. Bucky hovered behind him, frightening small children and adults alike but at least no one tried to kill him again.

“Ah, yes, hello,” someone says from behind him. Tony turns but he doesn’t see anyone, or at least no one that looked like they were addressing him anyways. “Down here,” the voice says and then he notices the guy in the wheelchair and feels like a douche.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, embarrassed.

“No worries!” the guy says in a chipper, accented voice. “Though I do wonder if you’re fully prepared to deal with the fallout of this decision. Not that I disagree with it!” he adds quickly, “but you do know that there were… consequences to the experiments, right?” he says somewhat vaguely.

Tony holds up his hand and it bursts into flame, “yeah, I know there were consequences, and so does Skye actually. Except she has earthquake powers. Neither one of us are sure exactly what we’re gong to do to help with people’s, uh, powers but something will be done,” he says. Accent Guy looks surprised, as does the guy that walked up in the middle of Tony’s statement.

“You both have powers?” he asks in a harsh tone, glaring at Tony as if he was the cause of all his life’s suffering. To be fair he probably was so Tony ignores it.

“Yeah, same way everyone else got them too actually,” Tony says. Not something he wanted to advertise, exactly, but it was true and it might bring some comfort.

Accent Guy’s companion snorts, “you seriously expect me to believe _you_ were used in experiments?” he asks in a highly skeptical tone.

“Erik,” Accent Guy says, “he’s telling the truth. I am so sorry.” The last words were directed to Tony but he shrugs.

“All things considered I didn’t suffer that much. I mean I never starved or got the plague so I mean I think I’m kind of winning here. Anyways,” he mumbles, trailing off. Erik looked like he wanted to take Tony’s head off and okay maybe that was a little fair but in his slight defense he had no clue half of this stuff was happening. In part that was because he didn’t care to look, but these things were genuinely hidden too. This wasn’t the kind of thing that you could understand without direct experience anyways and Tony only had some of that. These people didn’t have a nice home they could have gone back to at any point like he could have. But these people didn’t have to sacrifice their humanity for the comfort, either. But they were working on one thing at a time.

“Well, if you’re interested I have ideas on how to deal with the influx of people with various mutations,” Accent Guy says.

“That would be greatly appreciated actually, I never really had any issues with control and Skye has been living in a dead city for years so her outbursts didn’t really do much to cause harm. Neither of us have any idea what to even _do_ for people who need to learn control,” he says. Sam never had any troubles either, and he was getting good at controlling Redwing 2.0 for long periods of time without the poor bot crashing when his control slipped. Bucky and Steve reported not being aware of their strength at first but other than that there was nothing. Natasha had no comments; she simply slinked off before Pepper could ask her. Scott had people to teach him, and when they located Wanda to ask she reported that she was mostly in control now. But Quill reported lack of control being an issue so they were going to deal with it at some point, they had to.

“Excellent. Charles Xavier, by the way,” Accent Guy says, extending his hand towards Tony.

*

“I hate my life,” Tony mumbles. He was currently face planted on his bed, arms and legs spread wide to try and distribute the heat anywhere but back onto him.

“You’ll be alright, Tony, just like always,” Bucky tells him, “now flip over.” Tony follows the instructions grudgingly and Bucky wipes him down with a mercifully cool cloth.

“You’re the best,” he says, reaching out to Bucky.

“I know I am,” Bucky says cockily, but he reaches out for Tony’s hand and threads their fingers together, refusing to move for several moments until Tony started squirming again. “Stop that, you aren’t even that warm yet,” Bucky tells him.

“I am so, I feel like I’m being boiled from the inside out,” he mumbles.

“God, you are so damn dramatic. You do know your heat only gets warmer from here, right?” he asks.

“Don’t remind me,” Tony mumbles, flipping onto his side so he could curl up in a ball and long for suppressants. But Natasha refused to share and T’Challa wasn’t giving up his secrets anytime soon. Actually T’Challa was jumping continents in general, stating that it was time that he went to deal with his people like he should have years ago. Tony wished him luck and told him to contact him if he needed any help at all.

“Yeah, yeah, get over here,” Bucky says. The dip in the mattress informed him that Bucky had climbed into bed after him and he makes an annoyed noise.

“It’s too hot to cuddle,” he mumbles.

“But cuddling has a weird ability to bring your temperature down so get over here,” Bucky says. Tony makes another annoyed noise but he crawls himself over to Bucky, curling up into his side and sighing when he could _feel_ his temperature dropping. It was probably at least partially a placebo effect but he’d be damned if he didn’t enjoy it. “See?” Bucky murmurs, “that feels better doesn’t it?” he asks, gently tracing over Tony’s skin with his fingertips. Tony shudders, his eyelids dropping. He was exhausted but he didn’t want to fall asleep just yet, he wanted to enjoy the rare time he got with Bucky. It was at least worth it though, to see people happy instead of dying. And Jane was having fun with the science side of things so there was that.

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles at Bucky, “you were right like usual.”

“‘Course I was. Now relax a little and get some sleep,” he says.

“Don’t wanna,” Tony mumbles at him.

“Fine. Can we talk about you punching Justin Hammer? Because I _really_ want to know what happened there,” Bucky says.

Tony sits up a little, renewed rage at Hammer fueling him into motion. “ _Uh_ , so the slime ball comes wandering over and I don’t even know who _invited_ him, probably Howard,” he mutters more to himself than Bucky, “but anyways. So he wanders over and sleazily asks if I was bonded yet and I _know_ he could smell that I was so he should have kept his too-pointy nose to himself. So I politely inform him that yes, I _am_ bonded thank you, to you and I pointed you out,” he says. He had actually snidely informed Hammer that yes, he was with someone who would never be him, quit while he was ahead and _then_ pointed out Bucky but that was irrelevant. “And then he wrinkles his nose and says you aren’t even a whole person, presumably because of you arm, so I punched his stupid face so he knew that was _not_ cool. Fuck that guy,” Tony says harshly.

For a moment Bucky doesn’t react and then he starts laughing, “oh my god you punched a man because he made a rude comment in a fit of jealousy? That’s sweet of you,” he says.

“Fit of jealousy? What the hell would Hammer be jealous of? Either way that comment was rude and uncalled for so I punched him. I hope he enjoys the broken nose,” Tony says, nose in the air.

“Jealous that _he_ isn’t bonded to you, honey. Lots of alphas are, and a few betas too. You are pretty amazing,” Bucky says. Tony flushes at the compliment.

“Oh,” he says stupidly, “guess that should have been obvious. Still, Hammer is an ass and he deserved what he got.” And then some but Tony was supposed to be on good behavior or whatever.

“Yes, it should have been obvious,” Bucky murmurs, “you’re amazing and I love you.”

Tony smiles at that, shifting so he could see Bucky’s face, “you only love me cuz I’m godly,” he jokes.

“No, I don’t really. I mean maybe in the beginning, when you first told me. But it didn’t really take long to realize that you don’t need to be divine in a literal sense to have saved me. So I love you for you and all that entails, even punching random sleazy alphas because you didn’t realize they were jealous that they weren’t with you.” Bucky presses a kiss to the top of his head and Tony savors it, savors the touch in a way he hadn’t really been able to until Bucky. He never did trust anyone to see past his status, and even when he was partially blinded Bucky still at least saw some of who he was.

“Good. But I didn’t save you, you saved yourself, I was just along for the ride,” Tony says. Maybe he called certain things to Bucky’s attention but he called Steve out, he was the one who got Steve to see he was wrong, and he was the one to end that part of their relationship. Tony had nothing to do with any of that and he was proud to see how well Bucky was doing. And Steve to a lesser extent, though he could have done without the love story involving Howard giving him lovesick puppy looks. Honestly they were both embarrassing because Steve did the lovesick puppy thing when he thought no one was looking too.

“Don’t sell yourself short, I wouldn’t have been able to see any of that without you. You’re _so_ important to me, Tony, please know that,” Bucky whispers to him, his arms tightening around Tony’s waist.

He buries his face in Bucky’s neck, “I love you too,” he whispers, “so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


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